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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Dec222015

It's The Most Wreckiest Time...

Don't you just love all the decorations this time of year? Everything's so colorful and cheerful and sparkly...

[side eye]

Er...

 

And then there are all the happy faces!

 

 

Not to mention the dazzling store displays:

0.O

SWEET STAYPUFT NO

 

Well, at least we know Geri loves Christmas:

Yeah, do it, Geri! It'll be the prettiest wedding evah.

 

I'll leave you with what is apparently a Doctor Who ugly Christmas sweater... cupcake cake [patooie!]:

As a geek girl, I can't decide if I should snort-laugh or applaud.
I'm torn, I tell you. TORN LIKE AN OLD CHRISTMAS SWEATER... cupcake cake. [patooie!]

 

Thanks to Julie B., Robyn C., Jill S., Christy S., Cathi R., & Heidi S. for the holly jolly wreck-fest.

*****

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Reader Comments (26)

Best wishes to Geri and Christmoe (Moe for short?)!

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

… and a Marry Chrismoe to you too!

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

Brilliant. But hey, don't be too hard on the sausage display. At least they'll be well pricked before grilling!

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuse

I for one would never have figured out that the last picture was that of a Doctor Who ugly Christmas sweater cupcake cake [patooie.] To me, it looked more like the angel of death descending on a small frog-child who was about to open a large Christmas present while singing praise to the heavens and eating a banana.
So, Kudos Jen. I salute your masterful cake wreck identification skills. Hopefully, I'll see you at Geri's wedding!

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

The last one is made of white cake cake because the eggs were terminated.

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCraig T

Just what I've always wanted for Xmas -- a beady-eyed mean Santa cake! I really don't want the Ku Klux Santa cake above it.

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Oh my word, that Dalek...

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

Is it wrong that now I want a dalek with rah-rah arms (or whatever that cheerleader position is)? I don't think the ones I have are that flexible....

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterbelblue

Sausages?!?!?!?! Poop santas?!?!?! What kind of scrooges made these gross anti Christmas displays O_o

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Those holly berries look a bit citrusy to me. You know, because of them being orange.

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterlizzie

That last one looks like the Meme "____ all the things!!" ;-)

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJess

The third one appears to be a pastry homage to the little over-dressed pug in my neighborhood. And bakers, please adjust the color of your chocolate icing. For the love of all that is sweet and holy, make it look like chocolate- deep, rich brown dark chocolate. Not tan or beige or taupe or malted ( all shades of sick-person poo). Just make it the same color as CHOCOLATE!!!

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

Poor Frosty will never get out of that quicksand.

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterladycrim

#1 is just laziness...
"We need a Christmas cake for the display."
"Eh, that'd be too much work, I'll just stick a plastic snowman on the chocolate one that's already in there."

#2 looks like a mall-Santa at 8 pm...
*kid pulls on beard*
"Hey! You're not the real Santa Claus!"
"And the real Santi Claus has been dead for 1,600 years, kid. Now shut up & smile for the picture already."
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!!"

#6 gets points for making a Dalek look like it's actually flipping off the TARDIS, I just wonder if it's intentional or serendipitous...
"Jim, can you make a Dr Who themed ugly-sweater cake?"
"Sure, boss. I love Dr Who..." *draws large elaborately detailed scene* "Something like that?"
"Umm... no. Maybe simpler. Just the TARDIS & the Dalek with the wings?"
*draws beautiful simplified scene* "How's that?"
"Well the design is great, but... It's supposed to be an ugly-sweater cake. Can you make it... more ugly?"
"I don't understand what you mean...ugly how?"
"Like the figures, make them look messed up. Like a 5 yr old drew them."
"So...you want a cake that looks like the ones on Cake Wrec--"
"Sssh!! Don't say the "C W" word!!..... But yes, one like that, except on purpose. Only, don't make it look like it's on purpose, capisce?"
"I don't know if I can make one like that." *thinks a while* "Tell you what, I'll take my design & give it to Mikey... he wrecks everything."

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

The sausage looks like a three year old's celebration of learning to potty.

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterme

Oh, poor cataract riddled Santa (#3). No wonder he needs Rudolph to guide the sleigh; poor guy is blind as a bat.

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJJ

The last one is Geri's wedding cake. Christmas is the groom on the left in red and Geri is the Dalek, er, bride on the right.

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLuLu

Numer 4 looks PAINFUL. Or should it be called "Number 2"???

As for the ugly Dr Who sweater, why the Angel wings? Is this a reference to the weeping Angels...with Daleks? Why???

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

That Dalek looks so joyous with his banana sword and bowl of porridge!!!

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

@ SuBee and Nerfbomb -- Well done, you two ... you made me cackle and scare my cats (LOL).

I think that Geri's cake has oranges on it in a nod to orange blossoms, so traditional for weddings. I sure hope she is happy.

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

Oh man that sausage display lol. Do they even realize what that looks like?? If they do they apparently like grossing people out. As for the Santa cakes I think any kid seeing those would run the opposite direction along with me lol.

December 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

#3 Ewok Santa!

December 23, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterlivinginaglasshouse

If that last cake was a real ugly Christmas sweater, I would totally buy it. Just look at that one-winged Dalek trying to lure the Doctor out of the TARDIS with a banana! Brilliant!

December 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterQuill7

That Dalek looks so happy and energetic!

"Exterminate ALL the things!!!!"

December 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterUbi Dubium

It's a pile of sausage poo with little stakes like a voodoo doll! So, Poodoo! Is the person who make the display vegetarian or something?

December 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterE[C]

Did the Lilliputian army attack the meat case? Is that the reason for all of the swords?

December 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

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