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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Dec182015

Santa's "C" Team

Now, Droopy!

 

Now, Poopy!

 

Now, Boner!

 

...and Pancake!

 

On, Slappy!

 

On, Psycho!

 

On, Peanut!

 

And Lunch Break!

 

To the top of the shelf!
To the stores at the mall!

Now wreck away, wreck away, 

WRECK AWAY, ALL!

 

Thanks to Penny V., Bill S., Tina L., Bernadette, Maria, Janie C., Lisa T., Jayla S., & Meghan G. for the wrecky roll call.

*****

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Reader Comments (33)

YAY first comment!!!!

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterA person

But do you recall
The most famous Cake Wreck of all?
Rudolph the poo wang reindeer
Didn't have a shiny nose
Wasn't as cute as Slappy
He was one of Boner's Bros

All of the other Cake Wrecks
Used to call him CCC (patooie)
Even that creepy Psycho
Said, "Hey, you look worse than me."

Sitting in the Bake'ry case
Poopie had to say
Rudolph looks like he's my twin
Though he does have Boner's chin

Let's hope no one will buy him
And feed him to their family
Rudolph the poo wang reindeer
No cake is quite as beast-leeeee.

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Is Santa's "C Team" anything like Sheldon Cooper's "C Men"?

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCali Kath

I really hope those are fake plastic light bulbs on that first cake!

I give "Slappy" an AA... for "Abstract Art". Seriously, WTF is that thing? I've tried looking at it upside down & sideways... it's inexplicable no matter which way you look at it!

If "Lunch Break" were just done in green icing it'd be a passable Grinch.

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

Why is "Pyscho" wearing a thong? I see that he (?) is, but WHY?

@Cali Kath, that was the first thing I thought of, too! I just love that episode! "And here's Uranus!"

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Jen, SuBee...I'm "Elf Mama" who is in charge of her Vol. Fire Dept. Santa's Helper fundraiser, where Santa on his truck with Elf, and firefighter helpers deliver gifts to over 160 households in our town, and been doing it for the past 20 years. I WANT THESE CAKES EVEN THE CCC (patooie). Thank you Jen andSuBee, because now I have a bunch of NEW NAMES to call my firefighters on delivery night when I talk to them over the radio. Now they too can have hot chocolate coming out their nose when I show them this post, like I just did. You have made my day again! Thank You!

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered Commentercookiemama

Ha! That first uterus looks kind of like a reindeer.

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermsanthrope

Slappy is the cutest squirrel I've ever seen!

I agree with all the prior posts today and Subee is in wonderful form, as usual!

I busted a gut laughing when I got to Boner. The red dot has such...unfortunate...placement! Peanut's red "nose" has the same problem, but is less endowed.

Psycho will be fuel for my nightmares tonight. The last Santa isn't TOO bad. Reminds me I've always meant to take my heart-shaped cake pan and make a Santa cake. (I'm NOT a professional though, so it can look as bad as possible and won't be featured here. Also, I never get time to do that, so the world is safe from my Bad Santa cake.)

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

P.S. Why does Pancake have extra nostrils!!?? If the red dot is his nose (and not his wang) then the nostils would be on it, not in the middle of his face.

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Omg suebee perfect. I do not think they have seen reindeer at all....

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Pancake has an attitude problem, sticking his tongue out and glaring. Maybe he should be demoted to Santa's D team.

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

I think I heard pancake saying "moisturize me" (Doctor Who anyone?)

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterthebigtree

Am I seriously the only one that thought of "Mr Hanky" (the Christmas Poo from South Park) when I saw "Peanut"? Or was it so obvious nobody felt the need to mention it? And Lunch Break looks a bit like the Grinch... hey, at least it's still all Christmas themed, right?

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBlaidd

Oh my goodness. Hmmm...make that badness.
I can't quite believe that Boner was allowed out of the paddock. How could anyone not see that and think "Hey! That's a tallywacker disguised as a reindeer!" It reminds me of the novelty elephant "underwear" that they sell for stag parties.

It cant unsee it now. Gaaah!

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterkrunchifrog

You just make me smile. And laugh. My husband always knows when I'm reading your blog. A very Merry Christmas to you and your wrecky wrecks. They are the best.

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDelaine Zody

Omg, SuBee! I laughed...and sorted...on the bus home from work. But that's ok. Not the first time nor will be the last that I embarrass myself on the bus. Bravo!!

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterkim

I didn't know Cassandra had an African cousin named, Pancake!

*shakes fist* MOFFAT!!!

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAmyB.

Wow, Boner sure does look... alert. ;)

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGráinne

"Pancake" looks like the Lady Cassandra from Doctor Wh, "Moisturize me! Moisturize me!"

So many poo-deer, so few Tums.

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterdeb in atlanta

SuBee wins again! Many thanks for another year of fabulous wrecks & outstanding captions. Wishing you all good things in the new year!

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterStLMom

On the bright side, it looks like Slappy's nose is a big maraschino cherry. That seems like a nice easy, tasty way to do it. (Though I imagine some stores employing this method would get bleeding cakes out of the deal.)

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMr Bumblepants

I was drinking wine when I saw "boner." Nearly wasted some mediocre wine by spewing it.

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

THIS is why I love fruitcake. (Seriously. I love that stuff) (WHAT!? This s**t rocks!)

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

Is it just me or does the first one look like the female reproductive system from a school textbook?

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterA Feegle

Ladies and Gentlemen, please direct your attention to Wreck #4 where I shall give you...
The Last!
Pure!
Reindeer!

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterkATIE

Haha!! Pancake and Lunch Break are the best!

December 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Well, Jen, you've really done it this time. Your reindeer names have caused me to laugh so hard that I think I've ruptured something.

I needed that. Thanks!

December 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

That poo wang reindeer really takes the cake.. literally lol. Wow. Never knew Rudolf had such a large.. nose. Lol cannot stop laughing right now.

December 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

@SaraCVT: That was my favorite episode up until the other night. The only thing better than a drunk Sheldon is a post-coital Sheldon!

December 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCali Kath

That top one is definitely a sort of 'festive' uterus..

December 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHS

Slappy reminds me of the Mr Potato Head game.. gone wrong. Really wrong. Not even a head (heh) tilt makes it better!

December 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAnna K

Pyshco is apparently is waiting 4 a lady😘

December 20, 2015 | Unregistered Commenter🎂 fun

Aw, I like peanut; She's cute. She can be seen as so many different things.

December 20, 2015 | Unregistered Commentergram

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