Oprah's 8 Crazy Nights
November 9, 2015 Oprah just released her annual list of Favorite Things for the holidays, and at least one of them is getting a rise out of folks:
;)
If your Hanukkah celebration lasts more than 8 nights, see your doctor.
If this perky pastry looks familiar, it's because I posted it last December:
;)
Except my bread menorah came [snerk] with its own flour-y prose.
Yep, you could almost say my bread puns were... SECOND TO NAAN.
Ahem.
There can be only one conclusion from all of this, of course: Oprah is trolling Cake Wrecks for ideas.
So first off, Oprah, let me say:
;)
And I mean that.
Second, since you're clearly looking for the kind of creative, out-of-the-box bakery options that make people laugh and then write incredulous online articles, I have a few more suggestions for your list!
1. Bread Snakes
;)
Perfect for snake-lovers, ex-boyfriends, and 1/4 of Hogwarts students.
2. Invisible Football Pudding Cake Trays
;)
A holiday touch down if ever I didn't see one.
3. A Giant Wad Of Frosting with Little Brownies Stuck To It
;)
Or as I like to call it, a GWOFLBSTI.
4. These Things:
;)
I think they're supposed to be some kind of bird.
Let's just agree they're turkeys.
And finally, the ultimate gift for those high-fashion ladies who get a little snacky while clubbing:
5. Cheesy Club Sandwich Shoes!
;)
Be a PYT in your BLTs.
Thanks to everyone who sent in Oprah's list, plus Julie, Erin R., Carol B., Amanda, Lelac A., & Dorothy B., who's a shoe-in for Weirdest CW Sub Yet. (Get it? SUB? Heyooooo!)
*****
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Reader Comments (25)
Help, I"m being eaten by a Gwafflebeastie!
re: #4 Someone swept out the bread slicing machine and got "creative" with the crusts and crumbs they collected.
And… for pure gag inducement; have you seen that ad on TV for the little machine that grinds calluses off your feet, leaving a heap of white stuff on the edge of the tub? Then look and those "shoes". gaack!
D-:
Sandwich Shoes!??!
I would have been fine with that actually if there weren't FEET IN THEM!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Jen, you (and John!) are wayyyyy funnier than anybody on TV!
The football pudding cake?! A sliced assortment of a couple of flavors?! Smooshed together to make a whole cake?! And I swear that football looks like it was baked with SOMETHING! Blech....
Outstanding post! Thanks for cheering me up today!!!
#4 is cream puffs with ladyfingers o.0
...but I am afraid of what might be on the "everything" brownies behind them...
Actually #4 is Darth Vaders Tie fighter done in bread. should have used pumpernickel to make them look right though. GO SITH or go home.
Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh.....no. Just no, on the shoes. Gives a whole new meaning to "open mouth, insert foot"!
On the other hand, if nobody was looking, I would totally eat that brownie ball. *covers face*
My daughter is a herpetologist and catches snakes for a living. Those bread snakes would be perfect for her... :p
I'm intrigued by what the model might be doing to her sandwich shoes. She reaching down to . . . fasten a buckle? (on a sandwich?) Or add mayo? (to a shoe?)
Whatever. It should not be.
I have been in a dark, crappy, English wintery mood all day. I tried EVERYTHING to snap out of it. Leave it to Cake Wrecks and penis bread to finally break the curse.
I love you.
"...have you seen that ad on TV for the little machine that grinds calluses off your feet, leaving a heap of white stuff on the edge of the tub?"
Yes. And the other ones where the white stuff falls gently, like the first dandruff of winter. Like what I imagine is on those sandwich shoes. And now I need a bucket...
I think we last saw those "birds" in Indiana Jones, no?
I'm not an expert or anything, but the, uh, tips on that bread don't look Jewish to me.
I laughed at the 1/4 of Hogwarts students bit, but the sandwich shoes are actually making me feel a little urpy. I just keep thinking about how nasty my feet are (because seriously, they are gross. I'm not going to pretend they're not...) and ... ugh. I just....
On a scale of one to even, I just. can't.
I can't believe no one knew that the SHOES are from JIMMY CHEW!!!
Clearly those are bread menorahs. They obviously aren't wo-menorahs.
The ball of frosting with brownies? Perfect! Let's get out the cake vodka!
The sandwich shoes, not so much. (((SHUDDER)))
Thanks to all the great punsters here for making me laugh!
I would totally buy a bread snake if I saw one, to be honest. I like snakes.
I'm glad Will came back. I was starting to worry about him.
Sole food.
Oh man those sandwich shoes.. who on earth made these?? And after they wear them do they eat them?? Lol oh man I would run from those things as fast as I could bread shoes or no hehe.
@Nobodee - LOL
Challah Menorah,
Challah Menorah,
Challah Menorah ve-nismeḥa. . .
The sandwich shoes look like some sort of sabotage challenge you'd see on Cutthroat Kitchen.
I'm slowly working my way thru the entire archive... I'm not depressed anymore. You and the brownie ball and the truck balls...etcetcetc... I need to redecorate.. and move my laptop into the wetroom so I can just hose down the coffee.. food spray. Thank you. Thank you.