My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Automated Response System Entertainment

Hello, and thank you for visiting Cake Wrecks, where all your half-baked hopes for humanity are soundly thrashed on a daily basis.

Unfortunately we are unable to meet your humor requirements today due to:

__ Travel
__ Plague
__ Boot to the head
__ ROUSes
 X  John's birthday

Please take this opportunity to entertain yourself by:

- Correcting this cake:

{Bonus points for music puns.}


- Naming this Muppet character:

Complete with catch phrase.


- Counting the Skittles:

Then the gummi worms.
Then the panda cookies.
Then the Fruit Chews and gum drops and stuffed giraffe hang tags).


- Flagging this flower cake on Facebook for nudity:



- Writing a haiku to explain Batman's expression:

(Points subtracted if you use the Squatty Potty haiku. Because yes, WE KNOW THAT ONE.)


- Leaving a colorful birthday message after the beep.



Thanks to Jonathan S., Megan W., Irene A., Shelley B., & Anony M. for getting the message.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (74)

1. The first cake reeds correctly to me.

2. Gravy (the first Muppet with Graves Disease.) Catch phrase: "Thyroid disease is no joke, tee hee hee."

3. a. Too many
b. Not enough
c. 7
d. no
e. Is that what you kids call that these days.

4. I skipped this one due to the nudity and I demand that I get full credit based on my personal beliefs.

5. Batman looks above
Yet he cannot catch the ball
He plays for the Mets

6. John, I red it was your birthday and hope hue have a blue ribbon day!

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

1. The treble with people is that they can't spell anymore.

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

I know I'm not the first to wish you a Happy Birthday, John (thoJ); because in my universe, I believe Birthday Boys are allowed to delay their comment moderation! You deserve a wonderful day and a wonderful year.

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDBC

#2 Name: "Joon-Joon", Catchphrase: "Dooooowooop!!".

To my cat, mittens,
I bequeth my entire vast...
...bat-boot to the head!

--"Hippy Brathdey", John! :D

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

First off, Happy Birthday, John (the birthday boy)! Come to the geek side, we have π, which might be a wiser request.

"Hello, I am Daylight Saving & I need to go back to bed!"

The Batmobile needs
A brake job ASAP?
I'm not cool on foot!

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT


May your birthday balloons have long, straight strings
(As helium balloons most often do);
May your name be spelled correctly on your cake
(As we seldom see on fabulous Cake Wrecks);
May your life's work be twice as much pleasure as it has been
(As all your fans (and Jen's) would wish for you);
And may your talents as Maker and Deviser bring you steampunk fame!
(A little loose verse (very loose indeed) to wish you a happy, happy birthday)

[I'm sure many of the talented posters here will put this to shame, but at least I'm first of the day!]

Happy Birthday John!!!

I'm glad you're out for John's birthday instead of a home invasion by ROUSes!!

1)Obviously this is a b-day cake for an Orc. And everyone KNOWS Orcs aren't good spellers.

2) I'm going with Floopy. Catchphrase: AIIIGGGGHHH!!!!
Or, possibly, Sunny. Catchphrase: I don't know WHY there's blood on my face! Axe Muppeters need love too!

3) I'm too appalled and nauseated to count.

4) Rats, I'm a Luddite and have never been on Facebook. But EEK the sheer nudity! My eyes! My eyes!

5) First, there's a Squatty Potty Haiku? I must click the link when I'm done typing my comment. Next:

Batmman looks skyward.
The Joker cut off his ear
His cowl is holey.

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

I got nothing for most of that... but here's my haiku:

My eyes are up here
But don't look too deeply please
My parents are dead

Happy birthday to John! :)

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLadybugFaerie

Happy birthday, John! May your cake not be wrecky.

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMisti

#2: It's Blindy, Cookie Monster's neon cousin. Catchphrase: "I smell COOKIES!" (Because she can't see with her peanut butter cup "eyes" -- duh!)

Hoppy Bitrchdey Jhon!

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Skipping straight to the haiku and birthday greetings for John

You are not alone.
Even Batman has to get

Happy birthday, John!

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

I thought the Batman one was wrecky because he had puckered lips, i guess i am the only one who sees that

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLissa

Botox in batcave
Gotham's stony-faced saviour
Stares into distance

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLouise

@Lissa, for you:

He gazes with love
Into the eyes of Joker
Awaiting his kiss

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Shocked stare. A brave gulp.
His cake's forty damn candles.
Prostate exam, done.

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Happy Birthday!

At the risk of being crude, the giraffe cake brings to mind a bit my old local radio station used to do about a party and someone's pants (maybe I'm just gutter bound but why on earth position it that way?)....

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterbb

Bwah ha ha ha ha! @Nagzilla wins the internet today!

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

With wide eyes
And closed lips
Batman let one rip.

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

Happy Birthday John in purple.

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMary Jayne

I am too distracted by the fact that there are panda cookies and I was not informed to do much else.


November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

The first wreckerator is going to be in treble if s/he doesn't sharp-en up his/her spelling skills.

(Sorry if my joke falls flat.)

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPeepBunny

Muppet Name: Cleese. Catchphrase: It's only a flesh wound!

Batman Haiku:

My name is Batman
I have lost my arms and legs
Beware the Joker.

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKara

Happy birthday John :D as for the third cake, it was put into existence only to use up all leftover Halloween candy...ever.

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

1. That baker wasn't very sharp. I guess attempts at orchestrating success fell flat. G, I guess that bakery should probably hire some new staff.

2. Clearly, that's Fozzy's lesser known brother, Crazy. His catchphrase is, "Wacky wacky wacky!" But he's perhaps better known, not for what he says, but for what everyone else says when they see him: "Augh! Augh! Augh!"

3. I count 52 Skittles visible in the picture, though I'm sure there are more not visible, and I could easily have miscounted. As for counting the other things, I'm finding it too hard to differentiate in the picture. Perhaps if you could send me a sample up here for further examination. I'll do a thorough job. I'll even check the inside, in case more are hiding in there.

4. Nope. Not gonna. Uh uh. Not gonna be that person.

5. I have saved Gotham.
Wait, do I hear fire sirens?
Alfred, the oven....

6. John,
I red it was your birthday. Orange you glad I stopped by to say "yellow"? I'm green with envy that others seem to have thought of such greetings first, but I won't let it make me blue. I hope you have a vio-lot of wonderful things happen today and in the coming years. I debated whether to read other comments for ideas, but want sure if that counts as stealing. It's a bit of a grey area. Not everything is black and white. But in the end, I wanted to give you my own wishes instead of shopping a-brown for what other minds had thought up. I hope you're tickled pink by expressions of my sentiments, and if there's a silver of resemblance to what others have said, it must just be an example of great minds thinking alike of ideas that are good as gold. Best wishes to hue!
P.S. You don't happen to share a birthday with a fellow named Roy G. Biv do you?

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKay S

Happy Birthday John (thoj). I think it's nagzilla for the win!

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterColin M.

Happy birthday, John!

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Happy birthday, John! Here's to many more sweet and geeky years!

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

Hippo Birdie to Ewe. Hippo birdie to ewe. Hippo Birdie to Eewwweee!
Hippo birdie to ewe. Enjoy your day, John!

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSam

Correction: Orgestating Successsss

The muppet character is named Ouch! Catchphrase: Do I creep you out? (with thanks to Weird Al.

I can't stare at that giraffe that is giving birth to (or something worse) all that candy.

I am, I am, bat-
man, and I can see every-
thing. I am batman.
(With apologies to REM)

Happy Birthday, John!

<red>Colorful birthday wishes in blue!</red>

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterlazykerri

"They say it's your birthday! (Da na na na NA na!) Well, it's my birthday too, yeah!"

Happy Birthday, John!

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

happy birthday John I hope you have a great day, I have nothing witty to say sorry.

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterThe Little Brat

I am the Dark Knight
My left eye is on my eyebrow
Would you ride with Batman

Now, can I have a piece of blue cake with stuffed giraffe fuzz on top?

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRobinfromCA

That's clearly Tweaking Addie, Big Bird and Cookie Monster's meth-addicted offspring. (My ex looked like that much of the time, but I was too stupid to recognize what I was seeing.)

I was going to comment on having giraffe fur in the cake, then I realized it's still in the box. Still. In. The. Box. So based on that cake, John, here's wishing you the entire contents of a dollar store dumped on a cake! Happy hurking!

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

1. orcHestrating, and those might be the first 3 notes of the original Superman theme song,
2. Fozzy Bear - wakka wakka.
3. 89, 13, 42, 57, 28, and 3.
4. Those flowers need pasties. Or should I say pastries?
5. Batman contemplated
Stared into middle distance
Still constipated
6. Happy Birthday, John!!!

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDeb

Though I shake and dance
I still dribble down my tights
Seventy-six sucks

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEoin

OMG, thank you soooo much for the link to the Squatty Potty! That made my day!

No, first should be a big HaSSy Brithday, Jon!

Some of the haikus are way better than I could do, but here's a stab:

Gazing into space
Wondering what's the meaning
Hey, where are my arms?

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSusanD

Just thinking the muppet name would be Crazy Eyes, then insert appropriate (as if) Orange is the New Black quote here. It gets some diversity on the show, representing the prison population. Not enough of that on kids shows these days.

Happy birthday, John! And may Batman NOT look at you today. (He seems to be a bit under. . . something.)

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJake & Me

SuBee - I'm crying!!! Oh oh oh many thanks to all of you and your brilliant comments for making my day.

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterStL Mom

Sorry, not good at puns, but there are definitely a few letters missing!

Creepy the Bear--"Hey kids! Want some candy? (Waggles eyebrows, or would if he had any)"

Count the candy:
45 skittles, 7 gummy worms, 22 pandas (I think they are gummy pandas, not cookies), 68 assorted gum drops, etc. and 2 tags on the giraffe!
Did I win? If the cake is the prize, I'll pass.

That flower should be ashamed of itself going out in public like that!

Batman Haiku:
Batman has no arms
But he holds his head up high
Does he see The Flash?

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

I think number 2 is the glove puppet bear 'Sooty' from the UK's 'Sooty Show' with Matthew Corbett. He had two little friends, a panda named 'Soo' and a dog named 'Sweep'. Sooty couldn't speak but he liked to do magic, and the audience would say 'izzy whizzy let's get busy'. Oh the memories :)

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

Batman wakes, looks down.
He cries, 'Where's the rest of me?'
Can't look down again.

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTachybaptus

#1 - Just remember middle C and you'll always have "sucess"...oops...

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

Batman's pinpoint eyes
Make me think he's doing drugs
Because I'm a nurse

To John (thoJ)! Happy birthday to you! Thank you for all you do to make Cake Wrecks such a fun place! Wishing you many happy returns of the day!

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

Sorry I'm not clever enough to write a funny comment, but Happy Birthday, Jon! Are we going to see a photo of your cake?

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDorothy

Happy Birthday John! Thanks for making the world a funnier place!

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

I'm afraid I'm just not feeling creative today, but happy birthday. :)

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

(I must add that the fact that it's your birthday is keeping me from saying anything-- no, nothing nasty-- to SuBee about her unnecessary dig at my Mets. :/)

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

1. "Orcestrating": a very, very risky way for a scuba-diving veterinarian to make a living. Those male orcas are dangerous. Sucess is elusive.

2. "Piddly Panda." Catchphrase: "Not here! Not here! NOT HERE! Dang."

3. *Hurk*

4. Eek! Eek! Now I've imagined the nude yellow bodies below those grinning yellow faces! Eek!

5. Batman sees Robin
In Catwoman's lacy undies.
Nothing will un-clench.

6. ...did it beep? It did? Are you sure? So it's recording?... Oh, um, Hey, John? It's JMixx. I just wanted to leave you a quick message to say "Happy Birthday"! And say "Hi!" to Jen for me, too, please. Oh, uh, unless you guys are "occupied," if ya know what I mean...heh heh... Okay, so, that's all. Just "Happy Birthday." Um. Okay. Bye!

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

NYCGirl-I too am a NYC girl AND Met fan. You must have missed my dig at KC earlier in the week. I will now go back to my bottle of tequila in which I am drowning my sorrow.

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Existential dread
Today I face the harsh truth
I have soiled myself

November 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLaura B

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