My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Bad Omens

I see
a bad moon rising!


I see trouble on the way.


I see blood-spattered icin'.


I see bad times today.


Don't go shoppin' tonight,
Well, it's bound to take your life,

Theeeere's a bad moon on the rise.


Thanks to Amy M., Lauren L., Megan K., Lola, & Cybill D., who swears those were sprinkles. o.0 I guess be careful what you ask for?


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (38)

Looks like it will only cost you about 2 bucks to go to hell. Who knew?

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

But - 1.99 for a whole eternity of damnation is a damn good price!

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterFrankN.Stein

That's a good price for eternal damnation.

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I've never understood why they sprinkle the tops of red velvet cake with crumbs. Why DO THEY DO THAT??

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterElissa

Cow tongue cakes: more or less creepy than langues de chat or ladyfingers? Discuss.

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHirayuki

And they even charged for eternal damnation. I guess it's true...nothing is free.

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

"Cow tongue cakes (or cookies)," are named for the shape, not the ingredients. They are traditional in Taiwan and delicious. The packaged ones are thin and crisp, while at night markets you can get freshly-made ones a bit thicker and softer--wonderful when they are hot off the grill!

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterParnassus

I would have expected eternal damnation to cost more than $1.99. Maybe they were running a sale?

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSkatie

I thought it would be much harder, or at least more expensive, to get eternal damnation. I may have to rethink my life.

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie

Eternal Damnation is a pretty good deal! $2 and it lasts forever. Then again, maybe there are hidden costs and fees, a no-return policy, and, like a bad time-share, you can never seem to get rid of it. I'll stick with the cakes!

Does anybody else think that the lamb is missing a cigarette?

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

Eternal damnation only $1.99? Some people will swear that's a small price to pay. :)

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLynne

Can we please discuss the fact that Dave's rump looks like a circus peanut? What did that man sit on?!

The "Find the toenail!" cake made my day! Bwah! And...ewwwwww!!!

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

P.S. Why is Eternal Damnation asterisked?! That is one footnote I'd check before proceeding!

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Google searches often leave me with more questions than answers.

Voodoo Moon Eternal Damnation is a habanero pepper sauce from Australia. Someone bought that with vanilla extract.

What on earth are they baking?

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

What happened to the other 49 Dave's? Were their circus peanut-esque rumps in need of more than a medium Band-Aid?
Love to eat red velvet cake, but hate that bakeries feel the need to put crumbs on top. Unless Dexter has ordered this cake, it shouldn't have the crumbs on the top. Someone needs to explain why there is a lamb on it amidst the crumbs.
That "find the toenail" message is one way of ensuring you don't have to share your cake. Clever move!
Not sure what to make of the tongue cakes or the receipt. Think that item is some sort of hot sauce. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMoira

I heard that as, " Theeeere's a bathroom on the right."
Let's hope so!

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMary Jayne

Not enough bandages to cover those golf ball dimples .

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

What is the story behind the toenail cake?!?!?! Also, what store sends you to hell?!

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Does the $1.99 eternal damnation special include the handbasket to go there in? If it does than that's quite the bargain.

And yes that is one bad moon rising. What the heck was he sitting on? And the addition of the wrinkles on the bottom of the bottom... very classy.

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJoeMama

Yes the circus peanut!!!!! I thought the same thing!!'

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

@GingerSnap: the lamb does, indeed need a cigarette. In a very elegant holder.

Actually, I think eternal damnation is free. The price you pay is that you only get cake wrecks there. Especially cruel and heinous people only get pregnancy belly/birthing cake wrecks.

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

So was the $1.99 purchase a gift? I'd say that's a reasonable price for a stocking stuffer...

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

I thought the lamb was a poodle.

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

I can one-up the cowtongues and ladyfingers with the French Canadian roll+slice pastry called "pets de soeurs" . This translates to "sisters' [i.e. nuns'] farts" in English, but the prissy English translators usually just label them as "nuns' cookies".

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTheo Bromine

I see that the Eternal Damnation was bought on Friday, January 28, 2011. Too bad she didn't wait another day because Saturdays are "Buy One, Get One Free" Day at the Kitchen Warehouse.

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBartierella

@Jodi, that receipt looks Australian to me, and it's common (might be required, I'm not sure) on Australian receipts to indicate which items have GST on them. Generally the asterisk means with tax.

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKelly H

Hey, Dave, stop sitting on the waffle iron. I have so many friends who need a toenail cake. A real one.

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMarkinSF

I'd see trouble on the way if they had been labeled "Tong Cakes". It might give a new meaning to "gunpowder cake".

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEoin

Ginger, I burst out laughing at your comment, thanks :) but you missed the perfect opportunity to ask 'what the Hell are they baking'!. I love a pun :)

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie

Soooo Eternal Damnation is taxed?

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterOldish Lady

@Jodi and @Kelly H. Yes, that receipt is from an Australian shop and the asterisk means that the item was subject to Goods and Services Tax, which goes to show that death, taxes and eternal damnation are now inextricably linked.

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGrumpyGhostOwl

(In very rapid announcer voice) Price of Eternal Damnation does not include tacks, nailing costs, fleas, ticks, leeches, scimitars, or cost of care for gigantic predatory raptors. Price advertised is for Introductory Base Model Hell only; additional circles and lava flows incur additional monthly fees. Handbasket requires additional purchase. Groaning and gnashing not permitted. Ice water no longer an available option. All suffering and woe warrantied without exception.

November 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

Vanilla and eternal damnation, purchased together, sound like something the Pythons might package with Crunchy Frogs, Cockroach Cluster and Anthrax Ripple.

November 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

My hubby who happens to be one of the Dave's took one look at that cake and wondered when he turns fifty if I am going to be evil and get him that cake lol. Poor guy is now worried and he has years to go til he hits fifty. I am not that evil.. yet lol.

November 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I'm going to be hopping off a train at Midland next week. Now I'm really tempted to stop in at the Kitchen Warehouse! Why is damnation so damnably TEMPTING?? Or is it just that I like kitchen gadgets and will go to hell (or at least Midland, which is apparently very close by) for them? ...And people always call MY town a hell-hole. We've definitely got "hole" nailed (Super Pit and all that), evidently not so much hell. Who'd've guessed?

And I. too, think that "lamb" is actually a homicidal poodle.

November 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAA

I had a rough day, but you folks made it much better. I was actually howling at some (ok, most) of the posts. I wish my back weren't hurting so badly, 'cuz I'd like to do individual shout-outs for excellence in hilarity.

But all I can say is "Well done!" ... which is more than I can say for those cakes. Poor Dave.

November 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

OMG... the "find the toenail" cake... that is HILARIOUS!!!!!

November 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCorrina

find the toenail sounds like a really bad party game.

November 16, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel

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