My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

High Koos

Soft evening breezes
Radioactive tampons
Lighting my undies


Just clowning around
What a way to be headed


She drives me crazy
Like no one else (ooh. ooh.)
Someone check the oil.

Waves of well wishes
A sea of celebration
Happy...Stan? You ok?


Thanks to Maria A., Kristina K., Samantha T., & Fay K., who know that haikus are easy, but sometimes they don't make sense.



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Reader Comments (47)

That first one, I can't even work out what it could be other than radioactive tampons.

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTanya L

Oh, viewing Cake Wrecks
I appreciate tampons
As well as Stan's butt

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

In our darkest hours
Radioactive tampons
Answer prayers for light

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

We know clowns are best
When they have been beheaded
Where is Haiku Joy?

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I think I'll stop now
But it's just so much more fun
Than actual work

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee


After the tampon cake put me in the right frame of mind, the 2nd cake really looked like some weird double uterus/ovaries/fallopian tubes cake to me.

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersue

I miss haiku joy :( these are hysterical XD

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

As to the first cake,
Can totally see ghost traps
But why is one pink?

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I wonder if using radioactive tampons makes you have superpowers....

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

Stan went out swimming
No-one told about the shark
Goodbye, Stan. Goodbye.

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Come here every morning for a laugh (for years!) and you guys never disappoint. Thanks!

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

superb! SuBee for the win! And yes, I miss Haiku Joy, too

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterColin M.

Can't sleep
Headless spaghetti limbed clown will get me.....

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

Reading morning posts
Makes my screen a coffee mess
I'll wrap...


October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRuthie

Funniest Haikus ever! Both Jen's and the commentators! I'm with Tanya L, what on EARTH is the first cake SUPPOSED to be?!

Oh no! Stan, look out!
A big "B" is descending
'Pon your green-clad butt!

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

She drives me crazy
I'm off to drown my sorrow
That chick is toxic!

Sexy dance? No thanks
You're nowhere near the spot!
What a freakin clown.

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

The last one could be a tribute to Sunset Boulevard.

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAthena

Why, oh why does the last one have the 'B' from Buffy the Vampire Slayer on it?!?

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKim J

I came back to see
My imaginary friends'
Offers of haiku

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

What on earth's that cake?
Must admit I don't get it;
I am quite confused.

Oh, Cake Wrecks commenters! Once again you have come through and given me plenty of laughs with your 5-7-5 posts. Thank you so much, and thank you Jen and John thoJ for this blog!

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

Call me crazy, but I actually think the first cake is meant to depict bacteria expressing different fluorescent proteins.

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterThe Vexed Muddler

So now we finally see what kind of cakes Joey had for his birthday!! No wonder he wanted the ducks to be heads instead of the clowns!!

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAudra

That second cake looks rather Dr. Seuss-ish - but without a head. We have to get a head!

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

I don't want to "B" Stan...he looks like he has drown in his cake! Ok...this batch of pics I just don't get. They make absolutely no sense. Guess that's what make them so funny!!

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCurlyRedd

Is it radioactive, or simply LIME-FLAVORED??

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHairfish

That looks like a thneed

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKarmen m

When my teenager says he can't find a job I guess I should say at some stores they will let anyone decorate a cake.

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Poor Stan! Are the decorators or Stans family implying Stans a dummy? Or has a good life insurance policy? O.O

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMe

A wrecker of cakes
Makes no match for talents
Of poet SuBee

Jen's name has but one
Lonely syllable sadly
Last line needed two

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLuLu

Fine Young Cannibals
Might allow an extra ooh
For that middle line

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPersephone

My eyes are bleeding
Confusion reigns in my mind
Wreckerators, why?

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

Is the first iPods?
I haven't had one like that
since 2006

They're first-generation iPod shuffles (remember those?) in bright (and apparently glow-in-the-dark) cases.

The headless clown is kinda freaking me out.

Poor Stan! Guess this was his last birthday.

As for the car cake that's mostly white space, I'm guessing they forgot to add the plastic flotsam. And the message. And everything but the pathetic corner flags and one car. Sorry, Anonymous Birthday Boy (I'm assuming this is for a little boy's birthday), no NASCAR race for you!

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRoxy Random

Vexed Muddler, I was going to say the same thing, they look like bacteria! I did an image search but couldn't find pictures of bacteria that were both fluorescent and showed the flagella. For those of you who are not biology geeks, here's a cartoon:

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLMR

The only thing I could think of for the first one is a wiimote? But why are they glowing?

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAddy

Even though it's "that time", and even if that first cake had the most delicious chocolate cake with belgian truffle filling, there is NO WAY I would eat that first cake, or even cut it.

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Glow, bright tampon, glow!
Creepy, headless clown likes light
But drowned Stan won't see.

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

No stan no! swim not
The water is the home of sharks
You can swim, float dieeeeeeeeeee

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermsanthrope

There goes Stan. Poor Stan. Stan is dead.

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJanelle

Tampons glow, Stan is
Not waving, he is drowning,
Clown with no limb bones,

Leaking car- what next?
Naked mohawk baby dolls
Riding on carrots?

October 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDr Handle

I totally thought the first ones were tampons. Then I thought they were sperm...I still can't decide.

October 8, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterFaryn k.

Loved that oil spot lol. Guess they had no other decorations and just said the heck with it no one will notice lol. Ahh wreckerators. Such laughs you give me.

October 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

It looks like the customer brought a picture of a fondant covered Creeper cake to a grocery store and expected the same results. People who do that are so stupid an annoying and it's not the baker's fault. If you want a recreation of a fancy fondant cake, you're going to have to order it from a real bakery and pay a heavier price. Grocery stores can't shape cakes and they don't use fondant.

(If the customer did order it from a real bakery the first time then this is pretty funny)

October 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

You're so funny Jen
Even in the thanks section
Flux capacitor

October 10, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKbirdcarr

Stan cannot hear you
His ears are underwater
Hiding from tampons.

October 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

Ok, Jen's haiku's are the best, but you guys run a close second with the comments. I'm still laughing.

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterphysicsmom

Fine Young Cannibals reference and Sunset Blvd. shout out in the comments? YES PLEASE.

October 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

The last one is actually very logical if your dutch. All dutch children take swimmingclasses with a standard diploma A B and C. Stan got a b which is a pretty big deal. And no need to put anything else on it if a a dutch child will shout I got my B diploma everybody knows what it is about!

October 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMijk

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