My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

"It's Pronounced Shi-THEAD"

Bakers! Halloween is this Saturday!



Now keep going!


Yeah! That's good shi... er... stuff!


Push 'em out, shove 'em out, waaaaaay out!

Phew! That was a hard one.


But don't stop now; really let those creative juices flow!

That's it!


I love the smell of pumpkin stem in the morning!


This is all SO APPETIZING!


Ok, bakers, FINAL PUSH. Really put your back into it!
Let it allll out!!



Welp, I guess that's one more Halloween in the can.

Good work, team.


Thanks to Kirsten F., Molly M., Lily Q., Loren B., Beth N., Clare L., Claire W., Jeremy B., & Jordan S. for the heady flush of victory.


And now, a moving moment for my fellow Potter heads:

"Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
but don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
a smarter hat than me."

- actual quote from book 1


I bet he places everyone in Hufflepoop.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« Friday Favs 10/30/15 | Main | Step One: Cut a Hole in the Pumpkin »

Reader Comments (32)

Congrats on the news article on the Daily Mail in the UK.

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJim L

Some are decent other than the stems ;)

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

“Chocolate” pumpkin pies
Fill our nightmares, fill our eyes,
Please just make them go.

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBirdergirl

Actual poem from my pre-school day, with only one little change:

Poompkin, poompkin
big and round,
I'm glad you grow
upon the ground.
I'm glad you don't
grow in a tree
for then you might
fall down on me.

These words have never been more true...

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Hey, Jen! Did you see your site got a shout out in Daily Mail online today? (This is killing me to admit I zone out looking at DM over coffee in the morning...So. Much. Fluff...) Hope your site gets a bump in good traffic cause of it! You deserve it! Keep up the wrecky work!

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

Gourmet!! The second to last one has a tag next to it that says--gourmet!

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHarper

I looked at the penultimate cake and thought there were flies buzzing around the turd stem :-(

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

All we need now are the Poowangs and Mr. Hanky and we've got ourselves a holiday family reunion!

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

WHY?? Dear God, whyyyyyyyy?? When will the world realise that chocolate icing is not made to be piped? Or even pooped?

Oh Lord... that fourth one. HURK.

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Jen, I am sooooo embarrassed to say that it took me about 3 solid minutes to figure out the title of this particular thread. I'm losing it!

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

Even taking a risk with a Bill Cosby quote...current issues aside, Himself was a really funny show :)

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Jen, I believe your have missed your true calling as the world's first Cheerleader Lamaze Coach. You'd be perfect!

And congrats on the spot in the Daily Mail! SO COOL!!!!

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Sweet treats from the Shinola Bakery.

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAudrey

It id funny how hard these decorators try to make a Jack-O-Lantern cake and still fail so badly. You'd think they'd learn and just use green frosting for the stems and save themselves a bit of heartache.

Of course the way they tend to do it it would just end up looking like green poo……

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

The sad thing about #4 is that it's been "carefully" sculpted to look like a stem instead of a poop, but it still looks like a poop anyway & the sculpted "grain lines" are just making it worse.

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

I know a Navy nurse that swears she actually had a young patient named Shithead and the parents insisted it was pronounced shi THEAD.

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I almost couldn't scroll down the page at "creative juices" I was so worried about what I might see, luckily it wasn't as bad as my overactive imagination

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterToonfan69

Have these bakers even seen an actual pumpkin? Most of them work in locations that do sell them, you know. Pumpkin stems are not that shade of brown. If anything, they are more green than brown. I have two real pumpkins sitting on my counter now. I checked.

Put a GREEN stem on it and at least we can only mock you because the stem looks un-stemlike.

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

Some of your finest work, I must say. This is pure comedy gold.

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenKE

Love the poem @SuBee! I'd never heard that one before.
@Birdergirl you're on fire with the Haiku this week!

And Jen, people might also be placed in Slytherout,RavenCrap,or Griffendook. I didn't know there was a sorting poop in Harry Potter!

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

These pumpkin stems can all be rated on the Bristol stool scale (Which made an appearance of its own on Cake Wrecks!)

The third one from the bottom - what's with those orange blobs, too?

I didn't realize that Halloween provides so much cake-wrecky humor!

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

I am dying laughing at the title of this post! My husband new a kid growing up that that was his real last name!! Plus the poo pumpkins are always awesome!

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLyndi

Friends, neighbors: lend me your rears!
We need to band together and strain mightily to eliminate these wrecks before they digest the fiber of our culture. I see that we are already too late to stop this stain from spreading to other continence. To those of you who can no longer stomach the sight of these sweet, sticky stools: work with me to wipe these taints before they make us all illeum!

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

I think the first one (in the foreground) and the second one are cute. I'd buy either.

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterdoodlebug

The defecakes made me laugh, but the comments made me cry (with laughter). You all are poostendous!

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterjuice

Ha! and EW.

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Humour is one thing, yes, but:
Who crapped on that squash?

I can't help but wonder if these bakers have been inspired by one of my dogs, a retired greyhound: she doesn't like to do her business on the ground like any other dog, oh no, she's only truly content if she can go #2 ON a plant, or, for preference, actually IN a plant. I kid you not. She will undertake the most astonishing contortions to position herself directly over the target. Her particular talent is to crouch over an unsuspecting aloe plant, and give it a fertilising it'll never forget. The preference for leaving doings in prickly plants can make stoop & scoop decidedly difficult, because spines and prickles can definitely still bite you through a doggy doo bag...

October 30, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDr Handle

I love the Adam Richmond reference!

October 30, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJessica C

Well yikes. Looks like someone pooped on all the pumpkins in that bakery. I would seriously wonder who decorated these and if they even know stems are green.. lol.

October 30, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

My aunt worked with the census several years ago, and told me that she encountered a man named Shithead, yes- pronounced Shuh-theed. And also of a woman with a child named Female, pronounced Feh-mall. When she asked the lady what made them choose such an unusual name for her daughter, the woman said, "Oh, we didn't. We couldn't decide on a name, so they named her at the hospital..."
My favorite story ever. Lol!

October 30, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterThirdCharm

I am just befuddled... Why "
happy birthday Puerto Rican"?

October 31, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAmbrosia

Jackwire, I find this movement you're trying to initiate highly irregular! I am fairly flushed with emotion! Is the world of cake decorating not sufficiently commodious for this category?

October 31, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

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