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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


'Twas the week before Halloween
And all through the bakery
'Twere this stuff:


And this stuff:


And all kinds of fakery:

("Happy CHALLAH-ween! Haha! See what I did there? Eh? EH??"

"Stop talking.")


The sperm ghosts were piped onto basketballs with care:


But we're pretty sure this one was done on a dare:


Shoplifting ghosts
make a run for the door


While Frank with two man buns
croaks, "NEVERMORE"


Doll hair mixed with icing
does the work of the devil


While amoeba ghosts haunt
on a molecular level:

(Q: Why are amoebas bad at running prisons?
A: Because they only have one cell!)


Candy corns "ARRRR"


And bowling balls fly

Don't like these wrecks?


Then here:



Hats off to Patty A., Emily C., Anony M., Marianne F., Chris B., Rebekah W., Katrina V., Kimberly W., Amy T., Katie R., & Andrea O. for the excellent wreckporting.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (30)

CHALLAH! And the amoeba ghost looks more like a bacteria, amoebas are more amorphous :P

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

That DIY is the height of Big Box Bakery laziness. Pretty sure that was the way the "kit" came to the Big Box Bakery, and was not supposed to hit the sales floor as such. Yep, that's what I'm going with.

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMoira

What is that fifth one? Bloody stool cupcakes? EWWW! 😖

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterProfessor Who

I kinda like the peg-legged witch who slipped on the banana. It's sort of appealing. Sorry.

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterdrns4vr

Am I the only one who sees the fun in giving party guests the DIY kit (after a few drinks, of course) and then comparing....

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

Hey disembodied witch, you dropped your banana!

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

The shoplifter is kind of cute. But loses points for wrappers.

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

I love the DIY one, lol! Maybe some of the bakeries featured so often on CW should do that...

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

I love the pun in this rhyme :)
And Branden's(?) birthday wish was re-done as well i think.
Poor kid.

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterInge

#1 Savage banana?
#2 Again with the banana?
#11 WTF? Can somebody please explain what that is meant to be please?
Excellent rhyming & puns.

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGina

Can't ever get me enough of them bloody doll head cakes! That's some good eatin'.
LOVE the challah pun. Holla!

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

"Frank with two man buns" made me snort my coffee!

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy2

Can't help observing the DIY kit picture shows the biggest area (black) seems to have the smallest amount of frosting provided in the little baggie. Maybe it's supposed to be enough to just do 'outlines'...?

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLori

This was the best!!

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMadTigerKitty

That challah looks like ... oh, never mind.

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

Those kits are real. And are meant to go on the sale floor as is. People like them for kids and when my daughter gets a little older, I think she'd have a blast making a mess of my kitchen. But I always say go big or go home, so we'll probably do a whole haunted gingerbread house. :D

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterlaceofbase

you're quite the wordsmith, Jen! I think that "Frankenstein" one looks more like Elphaba!
At this point, I think most bakeries should just give it up and make all their cakes DIY. There would be more satisfied customers that way :-)

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenKE

A bloody severed head on a cake should have been the worst cake idea ever, but the poop for brains cupcakes win. Lunches down.

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCBushLite

Thank you for thr biology reference. <3

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJess

I said "Ghoul cakes" NOT "Stool cakes"!!!!!!!

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMiriam

@drns4vr - "peg-legged witch who slipped on a banana", lmao!

@Lori - I noticed that too! Plus, the bag of black icing looks like it's already been squeezed!
I think that Moira is correct & this is how the kit comes to the store: pre-filled icing bags & a diagram.
So, my hypothesis is, the employee who opened the kit started eating the black icing out of the bag, then realized that he/she wouldn't have enough to make the decoration, re-closed the bag, put the cover back on & put it out for sale "DIY style".

"Frank with two man buns" is an example of a decorator putting extra effort into making a wreck.
Frankenstein's monster's face is perfect for a CCC, it's just a rectangle. What shape could be simpler for a dozen cupcakes than a 3x4 rectangle? So of course the wrecker offsets the middle column of cupcakes and ruins the rectangle. ...Why...why...?

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

Obviously #5 is a celebration of the blob fish which lives deep beneath the ocean, has no skeleton and sadly looks like those cupcakes.

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSiouxz

On the subject of the DIY thing that is something I've done for places that I've worked at before and it was always a big hit for the party. I'd bring in sugar cookies and decorating bags and everyone would make their own cookies to eat and take home. It is sad that people's kids have produced more competent looking jack-o-lantern cookies then any of these wreckers……

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

I am reliably informed by colleagues who have done post-docs in the US that soil cakes made up to look like a tray of kitty litter then decorated with realistically piped chocolate ganache deposits are a staple of Halloween parties, complete with pooper scooper to serve it up, so maybe turd cakes is just the logical extension of that. (Halloween is making inroads Down Under, but some of us still hold out: any kid who comes trick-or-treating to my door gets a lecture on cultural imperialism. My husband says I'm a cranky old cow and we live in a global society now, so I should get with the program; as a result, this year I will have some treats ready to hand out: a carefully prepared tray of chocolate-coated Brussels sprouts...)

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDr Handle

So. I have a bakery and the biggest seller at Halloween is "vampire poop" cupcakes. Basically, a chocolate cupcake with chocolate poo swirl and sprayed with silver or gold. Cuz ya know... vampires sparkle.

October 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMichele

Yuck! Especially the cupcakes.. really gross there lol. I am with the ghost.. flee for your sanity! lol

October 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

This is one of your best poems to date. Loved it!

October 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKara

I can just imagine the folks at the last bakery saying, "Darn! We were sure we could totally avoid Cake Wrecks if we let the customers do it themselves!"

October 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterStephanieJ

Mothman should be served
With bananas and Cool Whip
With bats on the side.

October 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

Challah-ween! I LOVE it!

October 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

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