My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

No No, Thank YOU, Canada


Facebook nearly shut down our page because the following turkey cake was so offensive. Please, hide your children and make sure any elderly folks are out of the room before proceeding! Because the turkey looks vaguely phallic. I mean sure, there are literally millions of mostly naked pictures on Facebook but we put up a turkey cake, darnit, and that crosses a line!





Today may be Columbus Day here in the U.S., but it's also Canadian Thanksgiving, so....


I kid, I kid.

After all, there's so much more to Canada's day of thanks than just drippy poo wangs.

There are also HUUUGE... tracts of pumpkins.


And Turkey Castles!


And... dead... scarecrows?

Whoa. Little dark, there, Canada.


Anyway, I just wanted to say how thankful *I* am for you, Canada, with your sweet people, your incredibly tolerant and forgiving sense of humor, and, of course, that adorable Canadian accent:

Now go gooble 'til ya wooble, you crazy kids.


Thanks to Steve G., Courtney W., Katheleine G., Michelle D., & Kyle S. for bringing their "eh" game.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (48)

Turkey sentries perch
Watching for hungry Canucks
Please don't kill us. Thanks!

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDB

Thank you…I think. (I don't say "gooble", or "eh?!" for that matter.)

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

No way could that second cake be an accident.

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

O Canada! Today we sing for you
And turkey-wangs that look like shiny poo
Turkey’s make out well in your glorious land
After Thanksgiving has passed
Sent to live out life in a castle grand
Really what more can they ask
Pumpkins so round, fine, firm and free
O Canada, I send three cheers to thee
O Canada, I hope you for-give me

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I'm not getting mad at any American who clearly knows the tune of our national anthem. In fact, I plan to try and convince the family to sing SuBee's version as a special grace around our Thanksgiving dinner table tonight.

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPersephone

Oh wow... that first one is unreal. Who could possibly have thought making a cake look that way was a good idea?

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMatthew J

I actually rather like the turkey castle, just for being a different idea. Not especially skilled, tho.

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Bicillin LA, 1.2 million units, intra-muscular, once
Ciprofloxacin, 500 mg by mouth, twice daily for 1 week.
That should clear up that drip in no time.

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

You can't tell me that the decorator of the first cake didn't know exactly what they were doing.

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

Oh, that first one - yikes! I can't un-see it!

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

Somehow, I find the Turkey Castle infinitely more amusing than some of the Pink Princess castles that have been posted here. Does that mean I'm weird?

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Look closer at the castle. Closer.

Curls of semi-sentient poo is oozing from those globular gourds... curling up to look at us. RUN

The turkeys know. That's why they are up on the pinnacles...

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRae

Gooble gobble gooble gobble!

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGranoblasticMan

Are any of these cakes actually from Canada? Unfortunately, I think these are probably all American made.

So, the turkey castle? At first glance, I thought the towers were the bodies of the turkeys and the wings were their eyes and that they were wearing bonnets. What is actually going on there, is rather tame in comparison.

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

I really think the turkey castle needs to be a thing!

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLori T.

Took me a solid minute but I finally figured out the "HUUUGE tracts of land" spam/python reference! Love it

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDaryl

While we're thanking Canada for things, I must thank them for poutine! Who doesn't love French fries, cheese curds and gravy? Congrats, too, to SueBee for the excellent lyrics to the national anthem. We should sing that at the next RedWings/Leafs hockey game.

[Editor's note- Of the many, many reasons I would move to Canada, Poutine it right up there on the list. -john (the lover of poutine)]

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterphysicsmom

It's so ... glisteny. <hurk>

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJenAK

I'm with Persephone, SuBee. :D

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRogo

That first one looks unbelievably phallic, I can't believe it wasn't even has the ridged band of skin near the glans

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAndrew

I'm not saying I'd renounce my U.S. citizenship (yet--there's an election coming...) but, as national anthems go, I have to say I prefer Canada's. First of all, someone had the good sense to choose a tune that even people who *aren't* professionally-trained singers, with a huge vocal range, have a chance of singing. When you consider the lyrics, Canada's anthem speaks of patriotism, loyalty, and protection; in the U.S., we're wavering wildly off-key (or is that just me?) warbling about bombing the bejeepers out of...well, *someone*.. Sometimes I wonder if our anthems affect our sense of our national identity. Fortunately, I'm reasonably certain that cakes have nearly NO effect whatsoever on national identity. Otherwise Canadian citizens might not be so popular for their lovely manners and friendliness.

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

SuBee wins the internets again followed closely by jackwire. (The song that popped into my head was "Oh, Poo-wang-a! My wrecked infected cake...," but then I couldn't close the deal. Oh well, I may have to work on it.)

That first cake should come with a bottle of penicillin -- the last one too. The infection caused eyes to pop out??? Wrong. Just. So. Wrong.

Happy Thanksgiving to all Canadian cake lovers!

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

Whoops! My apologies to my Canadian friends and relatives. I need to get the "h" out of there -- it's O Canada!

I will now go hide in the bunker...

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

I HAVE that castle cake pan, purchased the year my son wanted a knight party! But never did I think of making a turkey castle with it. Our T-day could see a new tradition this year.

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNanalettie

We're with Persephone, love the new version of Oh, Canada.
How can anyone NOT see what that first turkey looks like?
"And, Scarecrow, I will miss you most of all." sniff, sniff...
"Gooble, Gooble," from two great Canadian fans!

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterjeliecam

I'm not Canadian or American but I've always enjoyed the double serve of Drippy poo wangs on Cake Wrecks. Gooble gooble.

October 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSam

Well here come the poo wangs. Lol how I love and loathe this time of year. Did nearly choke on my water at the first one. How on earth can they not know what they are doing? I think they do and enjoy it lol.

October 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I will strive to work the phrase 'drippy poo wang(s)' into as many conversations as possible.

October 13, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterrocketride

@GranoblasticMan One of us!

October 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

@JMixx totally agree! I personally wish we would change our national anthem to America the Beautiful. Not only is it easier (WAY easier) to sing, it's about beauty and love, not blowing stuff up.
But fo sho. "The rockets red glare." Ear-bleeding, every time.

October 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

Drippy poo wang time -
Is this what Canucks give thanks
For? New STI?

Pumpkins! Huge pumpkins!
Huge tracts of pumpkins! Give thanks
For Monty Python.

Turkey castle - for
Thanksgiving, or could it be
The new Angry Birds?

Dead scarecrow looks quite
Happy to be dead - I would,
If stuck on that cake.

Last turkey looks so
Wistful. Or maybe scared of
That guy with a knife.

Why the hell do these
Cake wrecks inspire haiku verse?
It's a mystery...

October 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDr Handle

The scarecrow isn't dead. He's just drunk. Note the big smile on his face. He saw the drippy poo wang and went straight for the corn liquor. And can you blame him?

October 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRoxy Random

JMixx, actually, we're the ones getting bombed the heck out of by the evil British (Canada is a part of that, though they stomped us flat when we attempted to invade those three times.) The Brits are the the EVIL Empire the poem/song says are heartless tyrants. the other stanzas we don't sing go into this more deeply.

October 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJamie Jo

I'm sorry, but, YOU STINK for showing us a photo in the lead that is not yours.

You show us a pretty standard turkey cake with the headline....THEN you get honest and show us the actual cake that had Facebook up in arms. I might have pulled the plug on it too!

You've tried, dishonestly, to spin the situation. You're dishonest. Voting for Trump, right?
Please, don't lie to The People anymore. Do it to what's left of your 'friends' instead.
Good journey.

October 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDAN LEWIS

In defense of the indefensible, have you ever looked at the turkey's neck when you unpack a raw turkey? I think they were going for realism. But I'd still like to unsee it. Gooble, gooble.

October 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBK

Ahhh, a veritable symphony of haiku. We are blessed.

October 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterColin M.

I disappear for awhile and Jen gets banned from Facebook for turkey poo wangs? Nice to see that some things never change!

October 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Jen and John, hang in there, and keep up the great work! What Facebook did is ridiculous. Hopefully, you can get an explanation at some point, though I'm not hopeful.

October 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-Marie

O, Canada - Now
Your Thanksgiving is complete:
Turkey Castle Cake

October 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

It's a turkey cake,
Not a real-life, drippy wang.
Facebook is so weird.

October 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

Are you sure it was almost-banned for being vaguely phallic?
Some would say that cake deserves banishment for its sheer ugliness alone.

October 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I shared this just because Facebook is being ridiculous. I've followed your page for years, love you and your posts! Even the drippy ones.

October 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

Dan Lewis' sarcastic parody of a comment had me giggling

Jackwire's prescription, though, had me actually LOL, such that my family came to see the fun!

And, most of all, I agree with BK. That drippy poo wang is a pretty good stand in for an actual turkey neck. gooble gooble gooble.

October 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBetty

Gooble gooble cake time is the BEST TIME OF THE YEAR.

It never fails to make me laugh. hehe. gooble.

October 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTimba

Maybe what should be banned from Facebook are the people whose preoccupation with phallic thoughts is so intense that they can't distinguish between fantasy/symbolism and reality, treating the former as if it were the latter. You'd think all those realistic pregnancy and birthing cakes would be more of an issue, but no. Hm, so maybe it's about some kind of repressed homophobia...

October 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterIScreamYouScream

I love the look on the second turkey's face. She's like "Seriously?!" ROFL Good thing I follow rule number one when I read Jen's posts.

October 16, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterpuddykat

So I misread that as "dippity poo wang" at first. This lead my husband and I to write up this terrible filk. You're welcome.

Drippity poo wang, drippity yay
My, oh my, what a wrecktastic day
Plenty of poo wangs, coming my way
Drippity poo wang, drippity yay!


October 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda & Joel

Call the veterinarian, the turkey has the clap! The comments make this even funnier. I need to go take my inhaler now.
Don't make the old folks leave, adults of all ages appreciate a good Poo-wang! *snort* *wheeze*

October 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHowlindawgs

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