Graduated, "Educated", Wreckerated
June 5, 2014 The graduation wrecks are already pouring in, and I for one could NOT be happier. Look at all these glorious wrecks! LOOK AT THEM!! MUAH-HA-HA-HAAA!
Oh, right. I guess I should show you some.
;)
Is it a green dog bone? Corinthian column? Oh! Oh! A DUMB BELL??
;)
"We came, we survied, we KICKED SPELLING'S AS!"
;)
Hey, dude, your post was on Tuesday. Try to keep up.
;)
And by the way, Kaitlyn, here's your "diploma." If you get it wet it makes a rad temporary tattoo.
Hey hey, apparently if you go to the "bakey" you can help wish 2014 a happy graduation!
;)
Yep, you just can't teach 'Street smarts like that.
And while you're there, could you check the fax machine?
;)
I have a feeling this is gonna be a good one.
Thanks to Anony M., Johannah S., Kelli W., Miranda B., Jaime D., & Jordan for giving us just the fax, man. JUST THE FAX.
*****
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Reader Comments (29)
The Ghostbusters caption was much appreciated this morning. "We have the tools; we have the talent."
Sung to "The Locomotion"
Everybody's looking at the cake askance, now
(Come on, Bakers, wreck a graduation!)
Green dogs bones are delicious if you give 'em a chance now
(Come on, Bakers, wreck a graduation!)
4th graders who survived it all will hate what they see
And even Blake, who was late for the Spelling Bee
So come on, come on
Wreck a graduation for me!!!
Screams leaving KAitlYN's lips, now
Come on, Katie!!!
Jump back, jump back
Big Bird Bakey has the knack.
Now that they've all been wrecked, why not check the fax, now?
(Come on, Bakers, wreck a graduation!)
You've caused a big commotion, that just is a fact, now
(Come on, Bakers, wreck a graduation!)
You've made it look so easy, your lack of control
A few tiny mistakes can really wreck the whole
So come on, come on, wreck a graduation for me!!!
I would like to think that there was some question as to whether or not Lisa was going to graduate with her class and she was anxiously awaiting the fax that would give her the answer.Congration Lisa. Or not.
Well...at least the dog bone is a pretty shade of green. :) Tryin' for positivity here. And Sharyn, you are splendid as always! Gonna be singing that all day now.
Two burning questions this morning:
1. What in the world is that green thing in the first photo supposed to stand for? How does it relate to graduation? If the name of the graduate or the school starts with the letter I, then maybe I could at least comprehend the shape.
2. What is so terrible these days about fourth grade that you have to survive it, and celebrate that accomplishment with cake? Was this for the teachers maybe?
I'm going to go into the corner and whimper now.
OMG sharyn perfect XD Kaitlyn at least had a yummy looking cake. The others I cannot begin to comprehend ...
@Sharyn --- love it girl!
Not every graduate wants to go into the world and be a leader. Lisa Fax chose the road less traveled by… Lisa Fax will follow!
I see Graducc/ion on the 'Street smarts cake. Umm..huh? Apparently they do things a lil' differently at the Bakey.
@Sharyn ~ Thanks for THAT earworm today! Of course I'm stuck at the front desk all day listening to classical music so the combination isn't going so well in my head.
Love the quote from Die Hard 2. (Dragnet reference, too)
I believe the first cake is meant to represent a rolled-up diploma (have you ever SEEN such a thing? All 3 times I got mine they were in that handy square folder thing. I don't believe diplomas have been handed out as scrolls since there were...well, scrolls.)
Why the cake is green, or THAT BIG I have no idea.
And TLC: I have twins currently finishing up fourth-grade, and let me tell you, it's a LOT harder than it used to be. Book reports every month, homework every night (I didn't have HW in elementary; did you?), and giant projects. For example, one daughter made a huge cookie shaped like Washington State, and it required capital, major cities, rivers, borders, the Puget Sound, Juan de Fuca Straits, Vancouver Island, and mountains (with names for the major ones). That's a LOT of frosting, and come to think of it, she did a better job than the "bakey". Oh, also math I can barely help them on anymore. And I took calculus.
I'm thinking they were trying for the Tree of Knowledge with #1. Good thing they didn't have to try and spell it!! Loved all these!
I refuse to believe that the decorator who made Kaitlyn's cake put that SCRAWL on there! Whoever did that should get a faceful of spray frosting. It was actually quite pretty until the "incident".
First cake: "I" graduated? or rom numeral 1 for No. #1? or back to "i" for ay yi yi yi?
third cake: different peoples made that cake and lettered on it, huh?
now I must chair dance to Sharyn's post. Hapyy Gardauiton, all !!
TLC: Sadly, I think it's supposed to be a rolled up diploma. In green. And not made of any identifiable paper like substance. But, yeah.
The first cake must have been for celebrating an intern rotation in the OB/GYN ward. C'mon now, think about it.
I agree with both @TLC and Jodee!
@ sharyn... One of my favorites ever. Perfection!
@ mel... Exactly! There would be no leaders if there were no one to follow.
@ TLC... question 2, I was thinking the exact same thing myself.
I don't see anything wrong really with Kaitlyn's cake. Except it's a little messy but that just looks like a beginner decorator. People ask for those diplomas and grad caps all the time.
Amy, that's not the "problem" with that cake. "Look" at it more carefully.
Fax will follow? What it this, 1987? If the decorator was under 30, she or he probably had no idea what that meant. It would make about as much sense as someone saying the information would be delivered on a mimeographed page through a pneumatic tube.
Kaitlyn's cake is definitely wrecktastic - other than the plastic flotsam and the decorating sheet that thing is tore up from the floor up!
And the next to the last cake is brought to you by the letter 'F'... as in FAIL! ;-)
@SaraCVT ~ I think I'm just a little north of you. We had to do something very similar when my girls were younger.
@Sandy: :-)
@SaraCVT: Well, that explains it. My son is 19, so fourth grade was a long time ago. And I didn't have to do it with twins. Or a cookie with capitals, rivers, borders and sounds. Yikes!
Well I can hear all English teachers crying right about now lol. Wow wreckerators way to show the poor graduates the horrors of cake wrecks. They will never be the same. I know I won't lol.
#2 Deserves a mini-parody:
We "survied" the 4th grade, but we did not graduate. (No! Oh, no!)
We "survied" the 4th grade, but we did not graduate. (No! Oh, no!)
All around in my home town
These "shite" cakes just bring me down
They say they just can't bake quality
They're baking all these wrecks you see
For the baking of these wrecks you see
I say:
I shot the bakers, but I swear it was in cake-defense. (Yeah! Oh, yeah!)
I shot the bakers, 'cause these wrecks should be a capital offense. (Yeah! Oh, yeah!)
"Attn Lisa fax will follow"???
My good God, what if anything goes through the heads of those who pipe these messages??? Do they give the barest one second's worth of thought as to what the messages actually MEAN???
"Happy birthday. Fax to follow." "Merry Christmas. Call when ready." "Congrtslashns. Will pick it up tomorrow."
Maybe the bakeries have already hired robots.
Only fresh English
teachers still cry. Haiku Joy
is battle-hardened.
I've figured out what cake #1 is all about...
The big green "I" represents the "green-eyed monster" of jealousy! Graduation season is a nagging reminder of the baker's own failure to graduate. So, when it came time to frost a diploma CCC, instead of using a color that would look like the color of paper (like, I don't know...white?) they chose green as a sub-conscience expression of their jealousy!
So number one isn't just a half-assed attempt at a graduation cake; it's a confectionery Freudian slip!