10 Painfully Punny Wrecks For Dad's Day
June 12, 2014 Now, you guys KNOW I love puns (truth!), but around Father's Day bakers start cranking out a veritable plethora of pastry puns sure to make even the toughest dad cry, "What's THAT supposed to mean?"
It starts out cute:
;)
"Reel great!" With a fish! Haha!
Then it gets awkward:
;)
"Yep, mom's one lucky lady to land you, IF you know whadda... ok now I'm grossing myself out."
Then confusing/borderline insulting?
;)
Not sure calling Dad "a hole" in ANY context is good.
But then it just gets desperate:
;)
"Not to bee that guy, but this cake gives me hives."
;)
"Because sometimes we take you for granite!"
[head tilt]
"Or for cow spots."
Moo-ving on...
Then there are all the missed opportunities. I mean, c'mon, bakers:
;)
Why doesn't this say, "Let's get hammered!!" WHY?!
Fun Fact: Have you noticed puns make bakers - yes, all of them! - forget how to spell "you're?"
;)
Now, can I borrow twenty bucks?
;)
...by which I mean you are SUCH a drag.
;)
Maybe if you spin around long enough it'll look like a top.
There are two ways this next pun could have worked. Thankfully, the baker missed both of them:
;)
There are FOUR. DADS!
(You're welcome, TNG fans.)
And last but not least, my favorite bad pun of all:
;)
If your mind immediately went to a disturbingly gory place with this cake, then congratulations. WE CAN BE FRIENDS.
Yep, not only would I buy this cake, I would pay extra for a few red gel splatters on the cake board.
(Uh, because I get my warped sense of humor from my dad, not because I want to saw him up. Honest. HI, DAD.)
Thanks to Aneela Q., Christopher W., Nicole J., Elisabeth K., Ashley B., Jen W., Brooke D., Megan Z., Elena E., Tracy M., & Cindy K. for sawing what I did there.
*****
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Reader Comments (48)
Jen your the best, it is true
But the cakes? Weave not even a clue
As to what there attempting
Excuse me for venting
But bees simply don't live in poo.
Have a reel great day day?
And the "your a" started way before the deer head cake. The second cake. The third cake...
Do they teach grammar in school anymore" Or has it gone away like cursive writing?
F is for the Fishing puns I gave you
A -- I called you "A hole", yes, it's true
T is for a Ton of Tiny poo bees
H is for a Heap of rocks for you
E is "Ewwwww, that's such an ugly hammer!"
R is "Roasted venison, it's true.
Dad, you anchor me and make my head spin!
Put down the club and saw, I plea!
Why does cake #1 have an additional day written on it? As for the "hive" cake. Let's be honest...it's upside down and those aren't bees, they are flies...what a turd of a cake.
It looks like that first one says "Have a reel great Day Day!" so it's wrecky all around. I have to admit, sadly, that I like the Bee cake.
I swear I thought the "hammer" was a beer stein with gray suds on top. A HAMMER? Seriously?
And I'm astounded that every single one of those cakes missed the "you're". That's quite a feat.
If you tip your head to the left and look at the hammer cake, that gray part turns into something altogether different. *cough*
PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one who has noticed the repeated misuse of "your" instead of "you're"??? What about Dad's "a hole" or "a catch" or "tops"? WHAT ABOUT THEM?
Count me in with the rest of you who are appalled at the shocking and constant misuse of "your" for "you're."
I'm also wondering why the beehive is a stalactite instead of a stalagmite?
I feel like Ross Geller-
"Y-o-u-r = your, y-o-u-'-r-e = YOU ARE!"
10 Painfully Punny Comments
Cake One: (I floundered a bit before I came up with something…) O.K. With a line that, you’re fishing for compliments. He should feel gill-ty. (And that’s a whale of a cookie….)
Cake Two: Buoy…something fishy here...no rod. Either a tragic accident or…wait…does that mean Mom’s a hooker….?
Cake Three: I hope the Dad wasn’t tee’d off by this cake. Since there’s no hole…can’t play here. Dad will just have to putter around the house…
Cake Four: The buzz on this cake is that it was part of sting operation carried out by the Seabees on a Navy ship. That brown thing? Clearly, that’s the poop deck.
Cake Five : This is a hard one… Does look like a cow…udderly a Wreck…and that’s no bull! (I got it! Dad’s a Queen fan…we will, we will rock you….)
Cake Six: A hammer? Nailed it! (Not. That baker’s a tool.)
Cake Seven: Ha ha ha…”Can I borrow twenty bucks.” Sorry, I don’t have the doe.
Cake Eight: We’ve got to get to the bottom of this! The meaning of this cake is too deep for me; I don’t sea what it means.
Cake Nine: I think your toying with me here… (Maybe this was originally made for Mr. Tops, of the firm of Tinker, Toys and Tops….)
Cake Ten: This looks like a turntable to me, just fore the record…. (CD arm and table?)
Bonus Cake: At first I didn’t see it, but then I saw it…. Now, this is a cake with teeth in it! That baker is a real cut-up. (Pardon me, there’s something in my throat…hack, hack…) I think this bakery is one of a chain.
(Below is a revised re-post of an earlier comment I made on puns.)
The use of puns dates back to the dawn of time. A prehistoric cave painting, perhaps the first example of a pun, has recently been decoded. In it, one cave man asks another cave man why the Big Dinosaur always destroys everything. The other caveman responds simply, “Tyrannosaurus wrecks.” (International Journal of Laughable Linguistics, Vol. XXC, Fall, 2013, “Earliest Use of Groan-Inducing Word Play?” by Tom Foolery)
As primitive as this may be, it clearly shows that humor – and puns – played an important role in the development if civilization. In fact, most people don’t know this, but the word “pun” is derived from the Italian phrase ”parta universala natura,” (later shortened to P.U.N., and then just pun) which, loosely translated, means “part of universal nature,” or inherent in one’s being. That is, the urge to make puns is carried within our DNA – it’s in our genes (unless you have stone-washed genes, in which case it was beaten out). In fact, recent studies have shown that even animals have the urge to make puns – ask a dog what’s on a house and he’ll go “roof, roof.” Point to a tree and he barks. So, we all carry the inherent ability to pun!
Unfortunately, not everyone appreciates a good pun (which, of course is redundant). We can only hope that medical science will soon find a cure for that. In the meantime, we’ll just have to humor them.
The "your" instead of "you're" grates on my nerves! I mean there are many things in the English language that are confusing, but how hard is it to think to yourself: Does "you are" make sense in this sentence? Sheesh.
@mel "wait…does that mean Mom’s a hooker….?" almost did me in. O.O I really do less than 3 you in the most unstalkerish way.
Again, Thanks Jen and john (thoJ) for providing this punny playground for all of us. As Cake five says, you Rock!
That "top" looks like a menstrual cup,
I *always* use that TNG reference and no one ever gets it!
OMG... The TNG reference. OMG! I <3 you SO hard! I have made that reference to other supposed geeks, only to be met with: <crickets>. So sad!
HOLY COW .. it's YOU'RE.. I was totally skipping over the puns because I was blinded by the misuse of Your on every freaking one.. AAAAGGHHHHH. Grade school stuff here people. I can totally appreciate a good pun any day of the week (loved the Dear cake .. 20 Bucks - Nice) but dag.. I'm just at a loss here. I'd almost rather see those babies climbing from the belly cakes..
Double duty - "your a dear."
So many puns so little time... if my kid got me a cake like any of those i'd be insulted D:
OH MY HECK!! There are 4. DADS!!! I have been waiting all of my life to hear someone (other than me) make a reference to that episode.
I realize you already said You're Welcome...but THANK YOU for helping me cross off a really nerdy and utterly pointless bucket list item.
Not only did they mess up all the "you're"s, they also all missed the commas ("Dad,you're"). Am I the only one reading the anchor one as, "dad your any anchor"?
If you remove the deer and poor grammar, the rainbow cake is decently made. It's one of the nicer grocery store rainbow cakes we've seen, anyway.
@mel - I bow to your punny greatness (again). "I don't have the doe." Ha! Love it!
@jen - I think I would love to have dinner with your parents. They seem to be the coolest. :-)
I couldn't get through all of the cakes because they were showing my biggest pet peeve. Your -possessive. You're. Contraction for you are. They are not interchangable.
Mel...you're a god.
Jennie...never, ever did I think I'd see the words "menstrual cup" on a site devoted to pastry. I blinked several times. Immediately a plethora of "moon-time" and "cup" puns burbled forth in my mind. You should all be extremely grateful that I scraped up SOME small bit of self-restraint and good taste and forced them back into my mental abyss again.
You're welcome.
To me, #9 looks like a pair of jockey shorts. Quivering. With yellow stripey things. Ew.
Turn the beehive cake around, and it's a bunch of dead bees and a pile of, um, well, you get it...
YOU'RE YOU'RE
YOU'RE YOU'RE
YOU'RE YOU'RE
C'mon People!
I love that the "You Rock" wreck's tag says "Yesterdays Sweet Goods" with the apostrophe absent. They can't even get possessives right so its not shocking to see all the messed up your/you're errors but they still make the grammar Nazi in me want to scream. And of course its left over from yesterday; who would buy it. Jen, I'm so glad that you got you're fathers warped sense of humor. It makes my life and so many others much more enjoyable.
I feel like a should have my geek card revoked but I don't get the TNG reference. I'm assuming you mean Next Generation but the only thing I can come up with is the Fistful of Datas episode but I can't place that line. Or is it not even a Star Trek:TNG reference? Someone please explain.
Mel - Great comment as always. I've said it before and I still believe its true: you're mind is like an amusement park that I'd love to vacation in.
To everyone - Thanks for the laughter. I'm in the middle of taking a summer class in Statistics. I have class every night after I leave the office and I spend most of my hours that are not at work or in school doing homework. I check out the site every afternoon while eating lunch at my desk and the 10-15 mins I take laughing at your post, Jen and John (thoj), and all the great comments especially Sharon and SuBee's songs and Mel's twisted mind relieves so much stress (although it does make the other people in the cube farm look at me strangely). Thank you all so much for being here.
Seriously, doesn't anyone use the word you're correctly anymore?
OMG, Jennie! Cannot unsee! It does look like a menstrual cup! Well, let's add that one to the list of cakes that need blood spatters. Also, bakers now have a template for those increasingly popular menarche cakes. :P
@Becky K- Yup, I see it too.
@Jennie-- Ah, you beat me to it! I was just going to say how much that "top" looks like a glow-in-the-dark DivaCup, made strictly for clubbing in Spain. *high five* to you!
Am I the only one who first read the anchor cake as "Dad your any anchor"? That made even less sense, but it sure was weird, so it fit right in.
The misuse of your/you're is one of my all time pet peeves, so this post hurt my soul. C'mon, folks!
I read the last word on the first cake as "dry." Which almost makes sense.
For the one with the deer....the deer appears to be coming out of the cake....through the rainbow and not only is 'you're' spelled incorrectly....'deer' is also misspelled. Love to see these, Lol!
I just figured out how that lady in our supermarket a few years back managed to get Happy Fever Saw! out of that cake. She swore up and down it was a pattern out of their decorating book. She read it Fever Saw instead of I Ever Saw. Still doesn't explain why she added Happy in front of it though. *SIGH* Some people....
The bottom one’s for Jailbird Dad. And it’s not for eating!
So now we need to send bakers back to Remedial English class, to learn how to use "your" and "you're" properly.
Or we could just hire smarter bakers. Although intelligence and language ability don't necessarily go hand in hand. A lot of college-educated people I know can't spell for beans, if their Facebook posts are anything by which to judge.
@Jodee: I <3 your <3 (in the most unstalkerish way….)
@lisadh: Thank you. I do enjoy puns – they are a large part of the sense of humor my father gave me.
@Chenaya: Thank you for the kind remark, but I’m just a guy who likes puns.
@JoeMama: Thank you for that nice comment and re: my mind…any time…it never closes…. Also, my deepest sympathy on your having to take statistics. I had to take a class in that too, and, suffice it to say, it wasn’t pretty. I’m glad CW helps relieve some stress, and thank you for being a part of the family!
Wow. Now I know what not to get dad for Father's Day. Lol poor dads that get these cakes. Though I wonder if they would notice being called an a hole. Lol.
I came here specifically to check if anybody else has seen the menstrual cup in the spin cake. Clearly I have found my crowd!
Is the fish on the first cake burping and farting?
Wow I guess the whole "your" "you're" thing is really difficult for people, huh?
How disappointing. Nobody realised the "tool" cake was ordered by a certain horrible villain, nemesis of Captain Hammer. The unfortunate grey resemblance already remarked upon, well, those in the know are probably stabbing themselves with a spork right now.(I'll just whedon see if the penny drops on that movie trivia...)
Loved the TNG shout out. Very nice. :)
OH MY GAWD....WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY is it so hard for people to get the correct use of your and you're right? Just once I would like to go one day without seeing it used wrong. Same with they're, there and their. Also, our and are. Seriously, did ANY of these people pay attention in school?
OK, I agree with all of you. The misspelling of you're is atrocious. The first cake looks like it says "Have a Reel Great Day Dry". The third cake needs a hole. The fourth cake looks like stalactipoop. I didn't know what the heck the sixth cake was supposed to be, and was relieved that it wasn't part of an alien's anatomy.The seventh cake looked like a scene from Bambi but with green fire. The eighth cake looks like it says "Dad your any Anchor". The ninth cake...well admittedly I had never heard of a menstrual cup before, so I looked it up. And yes, it does look like one.
But the tenth cake is what got me. Not the cake itself mind you, but rather the cake box lid. What is going on with that thing? Why does it have a weird sword shaped thingy? Why? WHY?????
Upon further reflection I am supposing it is meant to hold a plastic cake knife...but it's still weird.
Dad gave me life, then
he allowed me to live to
puberty. He's tops!