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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
May302014

Friday Favs, 5/30/14

Some of my favorite new submissions this week:

 

Or as we like to call her, "Tripod."

(That was the most family-friendly joke I could come up with. HI, MOM.)

 

If you write online a lot, then this next one is for you.

The problem with ordering via e-mail:

Now, everyone laughing, go ahead and explain it to the rest of the class.

 

Sarah sent in her wedding cake as a "missed mark" wreck, but to be honest, I'm a lot more interested in her choice of table decor:

Please tell me you cut the cake with the Klingon bat'leth, Sarah. PLEASE.

 

Giving new meaning to the name "dump truck:"

What a load of... ooh, hey, icing!

 

"Uh, you guys, Jimmy's cake is a little... off... don't you think?"

"Well, we weren't going to say anything, but yeah."

"Think he knows?"

Oh, HE KNOWS.

 

Before you ask, this kid's name was Finn. FINN.

[wincing] Oooh, not good.
I'm guessing Trey snapped this pic right before the cake was hit by lightning.

 

And while we're talking botched names, look what the baker did to poor Tucker:

(Seriously. HOW IS THAT A 'T'?!)

 

Thanks to Betsy P., Cindy T., Sarah K., Jane P., Bobbie C., Trey P., & Carri C. for putting all our childhood nick names in perspective.

*****

 

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Reader Comments (47)

Sung to "If You're Happy and You Know It"

If it's wrecky and you know it -- added "limb"
If they piped out every character, they're dim
If it's wrecky and you know it, put the bat'leth down, don't throw it
If it's wrecky and you know it, truck load's grim

If it's wrecky and you know it, that's a "bat"
If it's wrecky and you know it, lighting splat
If it's wrecky and you know it, hide poor Tucker's cake, don't show it
'Cause you really don't want Grandma to see that!

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

In defense of the last wreck, I know a lot of people who can't remember how to make cursive T's. I'm not sure why, personally . (I've run across people in their 20's who can't even read cursive from good school systems. Apparently, some teachers got sick of trying to decipher students' handwriting, and just have them type everything, but that's another issue altogether). Nor would I have chosen this as my best guess. For that matter, I think I would have looked it up before putting it on a cake that someone's paying for if I wasn't sure.

Oh, and my son played baseball last night. His bat looked nothing like that. Just saying.

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

It's a shame about Finn's cake. Other than being more appropriate for Rosemary's Baby (maybe?), it is beautifully done. Love the scroll work and border.

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

For those of us who don't get the joke and don't have someone younger to explain it -- please share with the rest of the class.


[Editor's note- Sometimes, when you type an "&" into a post on a website, it translates it to &. I'm not smart enough to know why. I'm guessing gremlins. Yeah. Gremlins. -john (the hubby of Jen)]

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDebbaSue

If she cut the cake with that, my life is complete.

And now a haiku:

Tripod on a cake
Cut the cake with a bat'leth
Happy birthday BEEP

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

As someone whose last name started with an F (maiden name), I feel for poor Finn. I used to get the F to S error all the time. They sound very similar, so after a while I began preemptively spelling my last name "F-as-in-Frank, etc. ect."

Still, how unfortunate for that particular error - on that particular (and otherwise lovely) cake!

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterShanti

Fabulous Wrecks! Thanks for sharing your favorites - my co-worker and I got a big kick out of them.

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

John --
Gremlins, and "&" is an ampersand, so, it must abbreviate it as "amp."
The baker obviously didn't know this, either!

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLaura R

Perhaps Sarah DOES have three legs. If so, don't you think she has a hard enough time getting through the day without people like you (and by you, I mean us) laughing at her condition. It's bad enough that you make light of a bride who is, as pikkewyntjie so aptly put it, a quintuple amputee, now this. This one has too few extremities, that one has too many... You're (and by you're, I mean we're) never satisfied.

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Listen, if you believe in Jesus then you know he died for our sins. So, if you don't sin then he died for nothing! God bless.

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAbbyNormal

When ever I am feeling down I just come here to have some cake(wreck)

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVelori

The thing that gets me is the little bit of frosting missing from the tip of the ah, bat, and the suspicious smears of frosting around the kiddie's mouth. Surprised no one got a picture of *that*.

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermartinet

All I can say is: so thankful my mouth wasn't full of diet coke when I scrolled to the "baseball bat" cake. That one made me snort guffaw!

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGrandmaJudyBeth

Ah, the CCC baseball bat reminds me of the Pictionary scene in "We're the Millers" when the kid was trying to drawi a skateboard.

Don't judge- I was stuck on a 14 hour flight when I watched it.

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

*Insert ball joke* for baseball cake. sinn cake is otherwise nice. Bwahaha to the rest

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Yes, but the rest of the name isn't in cursive! So why the cursive "T"?

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSarahB

On a positive note, the second cake has "congratulations" spelled correctly. That's something to be grateful for.

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAllegra

Am I the only one who didn't think that was an iced version of Sarah? I picture Sarah hiding in that teeny tiny house, terrified by the "jolly" green giant that is outside professing his love for her, and when your "love" is that big it becomes its own being, hence the we. Yeah, hence.

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCBushLite

@TheCreepyTribble_lol

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMelody

Well, I've heard of a boy named Sue, so why not a boy named Sarah? I can hear Johnny Cash singing it in my head right now. and Tucker's cake wrecker needs remedial cursive.

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJamie Jo

Maybe #6 was for the late, and delightfully named, Cardinal Sin from Manilla.

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterWill

BLACK COCK DOWN!!!!!

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJessicalynn

So apparently Tripod Sarah is The Hulk, & took a big dump in the truck. Rawr!

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

That last one brought back memories! A cursive 'f' is a crossed cursive 't'. It's so easy, almost automatic to cross it. Well, it was when I was in elementary school and wrote a book report on A Cricket In a Times Square which is all about a mouse named Fucker...I mean TUCKER! I used a lot of white-out.

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMILF Runner

For the & cake:

If the online submission form adds in some HTML (such as "&" for "&"), and the way that the wreckorator viewed it was plain text (i.e. it didn't revert "&" to its corresponding character), they would see what you see on the cake.

Wreck explained.

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDale

If the wreckerator who did Finn's cake had done Tucker's, it would still be a wreck (but not quite as offensive).

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

I thought the "God bless sin" one may have been misheard and oddly piped "God Bless You"/"God Bless siu"

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJason

Why would "&" be substituted for "&?" Why wouldn't it simply use "&" or the more common "&?"

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNotMe

I got the ampersand joke when reading the original post, but I thought the big mystery related to the meaning of the "FTK." I thought it was some dirty abbreviation that I didn't know. It SOUNDS dirty when you say it out loud.

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Shanti: Now I'm waiting with bated breath for Jen to post a wreck with the caption, "Congratulations F As In Frank Fabian!"

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCiabelle

I think poor Tuckers cake was written with a small "t" they tried to correct it as a capitalized cursive "T". But the messed that up too!
And I did SO not notice the missing icing on the CCC......

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMoonflwr912

Thanks for sharing your favorites with us!
I just looked through 1001 cursive fonts and found one called PW Script that has T that looks very suspicious. o.O Poor little Tucker.

To the wreckorator of Finn's cake ~ I don't think that's the way it works.

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

When Finn and Tucker get older they need to hang out. If they live up to their new nicknames, they'll be the biggest troublemakers ever.

A bat'leth at a wedding? I want to meet Sarah and be her BFF. Please also tell me the entire ceremony was in Klingon!

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

FTK could be For The Kids or For The Kill (based on FTW - For The Win). I have a teenager and occasionally need to refer to the Urban Dictionary to work out what she's saying ;)

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSam

John, did you fix my explanatory post? I meant for "&" to display that way... If not, the blog system did some serious fixing.


[Editor's note- Ha! No, I didn't touch it. However, when I look at it in my edit window, it looks the way you wrote it. I guess our commenting system won't take no guff from nobody nohow. -john (thoJ)]

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDale

I have a question about the God Bless Sin (Finn) cake. Why is God printed and the rest in cursive?

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGail

Sarah and her husband are my new heroes.

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

#3 isn't that bad per se, but a missed mark is a missed mark. Also please tell me that not only did they cut the cake with the bat'leth, but that they were dressed as Klingons for the ceremony.

The Finn/Sinn mix up is especially interesting when you remember that at one time the s & f letterforms were nearly identical. --> http://www.absurdintellectual.com/2011/01/02/a-history-and-usage-of-the-s-long-s/

Maybe this decorator was just trying to be fancy with old-fashioned letters, but got the f/s thing backward?

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

I can just picture the baker thinking, "Sin? Good grief, what people will name their kids these days!" Ha ha!

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

The baseball cake is mine. My dad took the top cupcakes and declared it circumcised

May 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSpunjbob

Lol I loved poor Tucker's cake. That is the name I am giving that cake lol. Though what it really looks like would get my mouth washed out with soap as well as my brain lol. Now a days I need brain bleach just for the wrecks alone.

May 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Having a very bad couple of days and this site and you wonderful commentaters - sweet patooties -- ah, aphasia, my pre-caffeine firend... you wonderful commenttors goddammit COMMENTATORS save me from the abyss!
Ah, what a great way to save the day! ::sip:: START the day....same diff.

:D @ Sharyn, and @ Jodi (you think like I do, but type a hell of a lot faster)
@Jason: hmm, yeah maybe!
LOL @ Ciabelle, & pikke....(BTW, are you Finnish or something?)(...which I swear is what a Thai waiter asked me once)

Well, F/S/Tucker's monkey was cute
And thanks for the correct spelling of bat'leth. I always thought it was batleff. I guess I hear with a lifp.
::sluurp:: ah, coffee's kicking in
Thanks all of you!!

May 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBlondie's Mom

I actually knew a family whose surname is Sinn. And they are very conservative Christians. I have always thought it was a seriously unfortunate name. Along that note, I also know a great number of people (also conservative Christians) whose last name is Hoerr. It's pronounced "hair" and there's enough of them in our area that it's a well known pronunciation, but I always worried about the poor kids having their names called on the first day of school by a newbie teacher who pronounces it "whore." Some of them have changed the spelling to "Haerr" and I've never figured out why the rest chose not to. Those Swiss/German surnames can get you!

May 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAnon

Poor Jimmy. He's such an avid Whovian that mom must have told the bakery how much he loved the BBC.
What?

June 1, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

It was threatened by the groomsmen, but no, we didn't use the batleth. We did use the Klingon marriage vows, and opened the ceremony with the "mawwiage" Princess Bride clip, if that counts? :D

'scuse me while I go fangirl over the picture getting posted. *FLAIL*

June 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSarah K

I didn't get why the wedding "miss" cake was bad? Please explain becuase its monday...

June 2, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterOlga

What is on top of that wedding cake??

June 10, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterlaura1212

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