A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)
April 11, 2014 IN A WORLD...
WHERE BEAUTIFUL PEGASUS UNICORN CAKES...
;)
(By Heather Sherman of Art2Eat Cakes)
RULE THE WORLD...
OF PINTEREST.
ONE BAKER...
WILL DEFY THEM ALL.
;)
Customer: "Please tell me you're joking."
THIS SUMMER...
GET READY...
FOR...
;)
CURLY RIBBON FEATHER SHARD HORROR HOOVES...
;)
;)
;)
OF DOOOOOM.
Rated W for WTF, coming to bakeries near you.
*****
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Reader Comments (136)
Eyes are bleeding. Can't see to type.
Definitely seeing the Grinch in the face.
And I'll just remain quiet about the wings.
Is it just me, or does that "face" look like the Grinch with flaming comet eyeballs?
AAAAAAAAAUUUUUGH!!! Never. Sleeping. Again.
Wonder what the customer paid for that......maybe asked for a smaller (cheaper) version.
Soooo ... is it just me, or do those hooves look sort of genital...ish? I mean, absolutely do not get me wrong, the whole cake is an absolute nightmare (ha! didn't mean to do that) but the flange on the legs (only using "legs" because "stumps" seems inappropriate if more apt)give the "hooves" a sort of ... x-rated appearance.
Please tell me it's not just me. I don't want to be alone in this terrible place.
Wow. That's freaking awful. I hope that if someone actually took that monstrosity home with them, he/she didn't pay more than 50 cents for it. That cake is a nightmare. Get it? Night mare. Heh. Sigh.
I wish I hadn't scrolled down past the first picture. I will never get that image out of my head.
Please, put that creature out of its misery.
Gahhh! That'll be in my nightmares tonight!
The only retribution for this monstrosity (and to eradicate the EVIL coming from that face) is the roadkill unicorn cake
http://shellvpower.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/lindsay-lw-unicorn2.jpg
It's the ONLY way people!!!!
OMG what's with the rainbow d**ks on the bottom???
See now, I was wondering about the odd placement of the legs. And because I am a geek, I Googled it. And found this: ORIGINAL PEGASUS UNICORN HAS A BABY! Squee! http://bit.ly/1iBq7DB.
No need to thank me.
Tragically, the 'maker' of Curly Ribbon Feather Shard Horror Hooves of Doom clearly didn't take the same trouble and went for inappropriate hoof placement instead. Although looking at it, I'd say that's the least of its problems.
Also - KILL IT WITH FIRE!
EEEEk! That thing has the face of a rhino! Or perhaps the SaraV and zeldabird are right -- there's a certain Grinchiness to the eyes. I know! It looks like the scary Denver Broncos statue at DIA that people mentioned a couple of months ago! It's got that "Satan's Steed" look to it!
EEEEk! That thing has the face of a rhino! Or perhaps the SaraV and zeldabird are right -- there's a certain Grinchiness to the eyes. I know! It looks like the scary Denver Broncos statue at DIA that people mentioned a couple of months ago! It's got that "Satan's Steed" look to it!
The face does look Grinch-ish, but the eyes really look like ET to my co-worker and I.
Also -- yech. And *shudder*.
The second version looks like Rainbow Dash after Pinkie Pie got finished with her.
(In case you've been living under a rock, google "Cupcakes" and "pony."
Just don't say I didn't warn you. )
Nope. Missed.
You know in The Fly when the baboon goes through the machine and it all goes terribly wrong, turning the animal inside out?
Oh, it always makes me the saddest when you can tell they worked so hard to have it still look that bad. :(
Oh God, cannot stop laughing...you guys rock!
Sung to "Radioactive"
I see this cake
So disturbing
And think dear God
What is that thing
Just what the heck
Were they thinking? Whoa-oh!
THIS WRECK SHOULDN'T BE KNOWN
CAN'T STOP STARING AT FEATHER/BONES
WELCOME TO THE BAD CAKES
TO THE BAD CAKES
WHOOOAH WHOOOAH
NOT THAT ATTRACTIVE
NOT THAT ATTRACTIVE
Nice touch using the "Man From Snowy River" eye-close-up shots. I could hear the music in my head... "da-duh, da-duh, da-duh!"
That is one unfortunate animal.
AAAAUUUUGGH D:
To me, the head is well done, but, would make a much better dragon than unicorn. It is nicely sculpted and detailed, and even the eyes would be perfect for a dragon, without the ribbons. However, the rest of it is way, way wrong.
OK, I just got off the phone with a crisis counselor so I think I can do this.
Q1: is there supposed to be a baby unicorn in the first (good) cake?
If yes then does that explain, justify, or somehow extend ANY reason as to the appearance of ripped-up mutilated rainbow tubes of guts coming out from the monstronsity?
What would Freud say?
of DOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM. AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Phallic feets is furiously funny
NAILED IT!! HAHAHAHA!!!
Nearly as frightening a unicorn as the ones in Charlie Stross's novella "Equoid"...
those white things with the rainbow bottoms are supposed to be legs with hooves? huh. Never would have guessed. But to be fair, even in the pretty one, I think the young unicorn Pegasus has a few too many legs. Should there be 4 visible small legs? Wish we had a better shot of the offspring. Can't quite work out the posture.
The Unicorn (with apologies to the Irish Rovers)
A long time ago, or so it seems,
I wanted a cake that was made from dreams
Something happy, and not forlorn
I wanted a cake of a Unicorn
No curly ribbons, no frosting crap
I want the wings around to gently wrap
No demon eyed monster, but sure as you're born
The loveliest of all, the unicorn
The baker looked at my request but I sensed some pain
He said “I know just what you want, no need to explain.”
I said, “I don’t want to tell you what to do,”
He was a pro I knew
But please
No curly ribbons, no frosting crap
I want the wings around to gently wrap
No demon eyed monster, but sure as you're born
Make it a lovely unicorn
The baker was there to give it his all
He finished the Unicorn and gave me a call
He showed me the cake and I started to spew
I yelled at him as I turned blue
I said
“You used curly ribbons, the wings are crap
I wanted the wings around to gently wrap
No demon eyed monster, but sure as you're born
You’ve made the most horrible unicorn”
The baker said to me, not feeling my pain,
“From that kind of shouting you’ll have to refrain.
Did you think we could really make that cake?
I’m lucky if anyone here can bake.”
He used curly ribbons, the wings are crap
I wanted the wings around to gently wrap
No demon eyed monster, but sure as you're born
He made the most horrible unicorn
I am so sad now.
The eyeball is horrifying but the feet --the FEET. A unicorn does not walk on circumcised rainbow penii.
At least we have the first one's pretty wings, though the other rainbow squggles are hard to look at. But the other, oh dear, what shall we do. We can't even say, "At least he has a pretty face.". Though the face gets credit for being competently made. I looked at it the longest time before realizing those were hooves. I thought they were some kind of candy,
Why is the Grinch on rainbow fire? Is it because he left the curling iron on too long?
Please tell me they didn't pay for that!
Sweet mother of god........
It looks like Falcore from The Never ending Story
Okay, I've seen a lot of wrecks on here, but this one takes the.....wait for it....cake!
SAAAWEEEET MOSES SMELLED THE ROSES!! What fresh hell is this!?
Where is the unicorn's horn? Even if the rest of the cake looked perfect, that one omission would ruin it.
It's not so much the eyes as it is the smile. It's coming for me in the night isn't it?
That "cake" is only good for one thing....Skeet Shooting....PULL!!
Í forgot it wasn't Sunday so my panic was sudden!!
The hooves have little paw prints on the bottom.
Just FYI on the original - here's a better view of the baby so you can see the leg placement is correct.
Whatever THIS thing is...I don't know. I'll need a lot of therapy to get over these images though.
http://bit.ly/1iBq7DB
As a cake decorator, I would take a gander this client had a low budget and when called a skilled decorator, scoffed at the asking price, and in turn ordered from someone who was more in their price range. You get what you pay for people. I wish more decorators would be honest when taking orders. If you can't do it, you can't do it. No shame in admitting that. That's just awful.
Is that even made out of cake? It looks like a bad science fair project or a martha stewart craft gone wrong.
Ok, that was an ambitious cake to copy, to begin with. Know your limits, people! The baker should have either flat-out refused to try or should have made it abundantly clear that the results were likely to not resemble the original much. That being said, how could the baker stand back and look at that thing and think, "That'll do." Because: No. Just, no.