This Tuesday Isn't Fat, It's Fluffy
March 4, 2014 Egads, you guys, I almost forgot today was Mardi Gras!!
Thank goodness the wreckerators out there have given us so many helpful reminders. You know, like all the beads:
;)
("The better to hide our wrecks with, my dear!")
...and the toxic mold rings:
;)
(Listen closely, and you can actually hear the dough screaming.)
Not to mention the plethora of choking hazards:
;)
...the terrifying non-sequiturs:
;)
(Give it up, Lady Cassandra - we know it's you!)
...and, of course, the dessert Mardi Gras is most famous for:
;)
The colossal caramel apple pie.
Topped with a tiny plastic Baby Jesus.
Giving you the finger.
And, hey, if that doesn't say "Happy Marti Gras !", then this cake does:
;)
So there.
Many Mardi Gras thanks to Naomi S., Janet, Mike R., Laurie E., Debbi P., & Andrew G., who get ALL the beads - once they flash me their... pearly whites.
And by "pearly whites"I mean "boobs." You, too, fellas!
*****
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Reader Comments (55)
Hmmmm, I've never seen a green apple pie before. Maybe only the Colossal ones are green. I wonder if they had to deliberately break off some fingers to leave just the one for the salute? Too much to think about here...
Thanks for the shout out in the title today! *smirk*
Not knowing much of anything about the holiday, I wish you all a Happy Martini Glass!
Now pass me some pie.
I find colossal
raging Christchild gloop fritters
make me penitent.
Sung to Monday, Monday
Tuesday, Tuesday, oh good, I see
Tuesday KIng Cakes are all I heard they would be
This Tuesday morning, all the flotsam couldn't guarantee
That toxic mold rings couldn't still produce some screams.
Tuesday, Tuesday, can't trust these cakes
Tuesday King Cakes, are homicidal that way
On Tuesday morning, you gave me such warnings of dangers to be
This Tuesday morning, moisturize Cassandra for me
Every other cake, every other cake
Every other cake of the week is fine, yeah
But caramel flippin' Jesus, caramel flippin' Jesus
Just starts me crying ev-er-y time....
Tuesday, Tuesday, no good I see
Tuesday morning, the Gras is Marti I see
This Tuesday morning, Tuesday morning I can guarantee
That someone will be flashing pearly whites at me.
I immediately thought of Lady Cassandra when I saw that "patooee" cc cake. So nice to be on a same wave length.
Ah! A Cassandra joke.
My day is complete. :)
MOISTURIZE ME!!!!!!!!!!!
Bwahaha@sharyn and haiku joy :D those cakes make me glad I do not celebrate that holiday O_o
So how many cakes does that bakery sell that have EDIBLE babies in them?
Once again you insist on insulting this beautiful and religiously significant symbol of Mardi Gras, thus insulting Louisiana, thus the south, thus The United States of America. Why do you hate America? Why? The King Cake is an attractive and, in many cases, edible symbol of the holiday season.
If you weren’t so narrow minded, you would recognize the ineffable symbolism of this delightful treat: King Cakes are oval-shaped to symbolize that the fact that the world is a circle without a beginning and nobody knows where it really ends. A modern interpretation is that the oval represents the driving around that takes place when looking for a parking space so one might park one’s vehicle in order to buy this most enchanting confection. Each King Cake is decorated in the traditional Mardis Gras colors of gold (representing the gold tooth you will need if you find Jesus. More on this later,) purple (representing Barney the Dinosaur) and green (representing the color of your face once you ingest a piece of this most enchanting of pre-Lenten treats.) A small plastic baby, representing baby Jesus is hidden inside each King Cake. The lucky reveler who bites into one of these baby Jesuseses, is legally bound to pay the dental bills of last years finder of Jesus.
I’m sure that my heartfelt missive will in no way stop your yearly attack on America, Jesus and Barney the Dinosaur. You will continue to display “photo shopped” pictures and your silly comments, haikus, songs and letters designed to make a mockery of all that is good and fine in this great nation. Just understand that if you ever had a King Cake from [fill in bakery name here] you would change your tune.
[Editor's note- That was... brilliant. -john (thoJ)]
Bwah, SuBee, Sharyn, Jen, John, and Haiku Joy -- you're all on FIRE today!!! I thought that "plastic baby Jesus giving you the finger" was going to be the best thing I read all day, until I read "caramel flippin' Jesus." Bwah ha ha ha ha ha! You all shall sustain me through today's long, dull, endless county commissioner meeting.
@SuBee As a native South Louisianian, and a frequent peruser of the intarwebs, I salute you. :)
Happy Mardi Gras, y'all!
Cassandra! So that's where she ended up!
Were any of them deep fried?
That bird flipping baby...... so..... disturbing
@Sharyn, HaikuJoy and SuBee --- well done ladies!! You started my Tuesday off terrific
Thanks Jen
SuBee- YOU WENT THERE!!! arggh! And will be laughing through the entire Lenten season at plastic baby Jesus flippin us all the bird :) I love the Cake Wrecks community.
@SuBee--"Jesuseses"--*snort laugh*
Are these actually for sale in the U.S.? I thought it was illegal to sell food products with non-food items inside (produce with seeds and pits exempted, of course). Which is why we cannot have Kinder Eggs.
Maybe they get away with it because no one would believe the outsides of those were edible, either?
<3 Subee
Thank you, SuBee, for enlightening me. I'm from the deep-frozen north and was often puzzled by King Cakes (though I can whip up a pretty good hot dish and jello salad!) I will not find a King Cake at the bakery, but with your description I'm inspired to make one! Yeah, Merica!
SuBee - thank you for writing what so many of us were thinking, but writing it better than we were thinking it.
How perfect considering that we just came home from NOLA and the Mardi Gras parades where the parade of chewbaccus featured not one but 2 Lady Cassandras! Happy Mardi Gras!
Moisturize me! Haha, love it!
I lost it at Lady Cassandra. Doctor Who FTW!
It just isn't a celebration without the toxic mold rings.
Today I am feeling very sad for anyone who does not read the comments. They are missing the amazing icing on the cake today.
SuBee, you're my hero.
The longer I looked at Lady Cassandra, the more disturbing it became. At first glance, I thought the mustache was the mouth, and completely overlooked the rose, so it didn't seem so bad. But then I saw the red pouty lips, the flowered chapeau, and the intended use of the black sneer, and my head exploded. Not unlike an un-moisturized Cassandra.
First Pope Francis drops the Italian equivalent of an F-bomb, now Baby Jesus is sitting on an apple pie flipping us off! Wow! The Apocalypse is turning out to much more fun that I thought it would!
Well in England today is pancake day, where everyone gets a chance to demonstrate there skills in flipping a pancake and catching it in the pan again (or not as the case maybe). Before the arrival of plastic baby Jesus, were they made of ceramic?
Who is Lady Cassandra, is this a piece of popular culture that has passed me by?
I was a bit confused about the use of 'pearly whites' which over here is used to describe your teeth.
Sharyn, you are wonderful! And "caramel flippin' Jesus" is my new favorite phrase of all time.
Awesome Epcot work, SuBee! I think you took care of it in one comment.
@SuBee -- That was beautiful. I cried when I read the part about Barney -- of course, Barney always makes me cry...
I thought cake number two was a green worm trying to eat itself........and my brain exploded.....
Suebee, I <3 you. :-D
Pikkewyntjie, I get a weird litte thrill when I see your name; you just HAVe to be a fellow S'African!
Stephen Barker. The first British man ever to not know Dr Who. :-P
It's all good, today is a perfect day for a stack of pancakes and a Dr Who marathon!
Am I the only one who DOESN'T see what the rest of y'all see? Because what I see is a tiny, sweet little plastic Baby-J that looks EXACTLY like ALL of the BABILLIONS of OTHER tiny, sweet little plastic Baby-Js. That's a THUMB! A THUMB!!! It's a simple "angle-of-perspective," tweaky, thingy-thang...Y'all are WRONG, and disgusting, and should be ashamed of your disrespectful, sorry asses! Y'all just WANT it to BE a flip-off, don't you?!...B-because th-that w-would b-be f-freaking h-hilarious, and...and...
Oh, shoot~if you can't beat 'em, flip 'em off! =^~.-^=...yeah, baybuh
Thank you so much for the Doctor Who reference!!
Dear Stephen Barker,
Smile and show us your pearly whites, and you will still be decent, for they are teeth in the state of Florida as well. Or are they?
Marti Gras...I think I went to school with her. I don't remember that she was exceptionally happy but hey, since she has her own holiday now that should improve her outlook quite a bit.
@john (thoJ)-No, you are!
Whovian references are the best.
Just had to comment...The word "mati" (which is the same pronounciation as Marti) in Malay means "die".
Brava, @SuBee, brava.
I'm from La., and I'm a little surprised by the ignorance of the post-er. The first cake is just fine, although they do usually put the beads inside the box. King cakes aren't supposed to look like works of art, but some are prettier than others. The green king cake is just WRONG! Next, companies have to put a warning about the baby on the box or set him on top of the cake like the others because non-Louisiana folk are often ignorant of the tradition (get the baby, bring the next cake!) or too stupid to watch out for it. Mardi Gras is more cultural than religious for most of us down here, and I think a 'thumbs up' baby Jesus is just as funny as one flipping me off! Love this website, by the way - funniest thing on the web!! :)
My first thought when looking at that top cake was that a cat was stuffed in the box. I really had to stare to realize that wasn't fur.
JStacky, you might love, hate, or disregard the following Mardi Gras-themed Cake Wrecks posts. I think they're especially fun to read all in a row.
http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2011/3/7/king-me.html
http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2011/3/8/deep-fried-thoughts.html
http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2012/2/21/the-king-coup.html
http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2012/4/2/reduce-reuse-re-wreck.html
http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2013/2/11/mardi-gras-hide-n-seek.html
I am still dying of laughter at SuBee's post lmao. I was like uh-oh til I finished it and now I won't stop giggling for at least a day or so. My goodness. If wreckerators don't kill me with laughter some one on here will hehe.
SuBee, I think I love you - thank you so much for stemming the Epcot flood this year although I see a straggler still got through!
TLC took the words right out of my mouth on pic #3 there. As for #4.....''I can't 'ardly Adam an' Eve it!'' I'm glad to see that SuBee has remembered the correct pluralization of Jesus from last Crihstmusas! And speaking of flippin' off, I was replaying Pokemon Sapphire the other day and suddenly noticed that the wild sandshrew sprite looks like it's giving the bird....I think that must make it the most obnoxious game character since the Duck Hunt dog. Sorry if that last part was a bit off-topic, haha....now where's my zapper? I need to go shoot that little @%#&
@SuBee, BRILLIANT!!!!!
thank you for the Lady Cassandra!!!! Whenever I see that particular shape now, that's all can I think of.....so glad there are other as warped as I!!!! Keep it up!!!!!!
thank you for the Lady Cassandra!!!! Whenever I see that particular shape now, that's all can I think of.....so glad there are other as warped as I!!!! Keep it up!!!!!!