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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Feb032014

Creepy Poetry Counts, Too

Hey, it's National Haiku Writing Month! John! Quick! GET ME THE CREEPIEST CAKES YOU CAN FIND!

[shuffling virtual photographs]

Right.

LET'S DO THIS.

 

still life of swift death
or delicious iced dessert
cooler heads prevail

 

 

buttercream bunions
metaphoric masterpiece
wedding with cold feet

 

 

expressive beach tree
dawning realization
calls for a face palm

 

 

The hottest new trend:
flaming baby shower cakes
Welcome to hell, B.

 

 

Down where it's wetter
Clearly not all that better
Ariel impaled

 

 

drowning our sorrows
won't call for giant tampons
and please hold the jam

 

 

From 'death do us part'
to avant-garde home decor
Rough divorce, Carol?

 

 

Thanks to Karin K., Kate J., Charlene L., Stephanie S., Kristen O., Evelyn D., & Myra F. for making us all count on our fingers. (Admit it; you totally did!)

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« Face, Meet Palm | Main | Sunday Sweets: Groundhog Day »

Reader Comments (60)

The giant tampon
Is beautifully rendered
Pure PMS joy

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Totally counted
Your haikus are exquisite
But the cakes are not

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Count Carol's fingers
Looks like six but I count five
It's an illusion

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Mermaid meets Ahab
Never had a fighting chance
Burial at sea

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Husband as carpet?
Seems to me a good idea
How does one clean it?

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

My two favorite things:
Cake Wrecks and subtle haiku.
What a great morning!

Anybody else
composing haiku today?
Can't wait to see it!

Haiku Joy must be
creating a masterpiece
to top this day off!

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBirdergirl

My jaw on the floor,
I stare in sheer disbelief.
Each to his own taste?

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Giant white tampon
Relief in the form of cake
I'm getting a cramp

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterlaxmom

Cakes that make me go
UGH I cannot eat that thing
makes me puke loudly

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Today is your day
So do what you do the best
Go On, Haiku Joy.

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAshley P

Could it be that deer
Is merely recovering
From a tough Bowl game

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Glad the tampon cake
Has red velvet inside and
not on the outside

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCW

One chocolate cupcake,
too ashamed to face the crowd,
reproaches comrades.

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I need to know more about the feet cake display. Because seriously, I can't think of any reason at all, why you would want cakes made into feet to eat at your wedding. FEET CAKE!?! WTH people. WHAT THE HELL?

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Not really a hai-
ku, but what in the heck is
the brown and green cake??

Srsly, anyone???

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterE

Is Carol's ex made of bacon?

Nice tampon cake, but it seems like there would be a much larger market for well-rendered douchebags. I would think a decorator would have trouble keeping up with those orders!

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

The third cake is an alien( with a wooden leg) reaching over to grab a cupcake??

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

Green stuff and brown stuff
What could that possibly be?
OH, green and brown stuff!

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Cake Wrecks takes the cake
Funny in any format
All hail Jen and john*

*(thoJ)

And by the way…it looks like in that last cake the divorce might have been a tad harder on the guy….

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Oh, dear. I started giggling with the first cake and haven't stopped since.

Poor Ariel is impaled, and Flounder looks like he's been cross-bred with a pig. And the pig won.

I wouldn't touch either of those last two cakes with a 10-foot fork. Not even if they were filled with the best chocolate truffle cream ever. Tampon? No, not for my mouth.

And skinning your ex? Well, yes I HAVE felt like that. However, I have no intention of auditioning for the role of Leatherface's ex-wife in the next sequel.

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Deer is hung over
Pot-free brownies for Sharyn
Did you see that game?

Sorry @Sharyn, I couldn't help it :-)

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Huge tampon is made
Exclusively for use by
Bleeding vagiants

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Cake named after me
Not sure how I feel 'bout it
Sculpting well done, though

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

What we never knew:
Unholy mermaid bloodthirst,
Flounder the Slayer.

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I don't do haiku
But I just need to be sure
what does "Carol" hold?

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered Commentershirley elizabeth

@E
Green & brown cake perhaps represents the children's book "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom" (http://www.amazon.com/Chicka-Boom-Bill-Martin-Jr/dp/068983568X)
Sorry, that's my best guess.

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterChristiana

Impaled Ariel
But did anyone notice
The pig-faced Flounder?

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

Tootsies and a palm
Are the two worst offerings
Viva le iced deer!

Bacon-esque ex-hub
Must have done something quite bad
He's been smooshed flat.

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

I don’t mind the feet
But then I look more closely
What’s that between them?

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Oh geez, everyone is posting their own. By the way, that last one is disgusting.

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTed C

This little piggy
Pink, erupting athlete's foot
A cheesecake delight

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

Yikes!

Maybe the bride and groom are owners of a foot care shop. Podiatrists, perhaps

The giant tampon would be great as a "coming of age" cake for a girl's first menstruation. That should be celebrated as it is in so-called primative cultures.

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

Carol setting trends
Deluxe skinned ex-husband rug
Testicles preserved

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

Flower-bedecked feet
Got fancied up for the fete
At least they'll smell nice

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermelanie sparkles

A giant tampon
Wonder if it has filling
Will haunt me forever

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

In February, what does the fox say?
Haiku, haiku, haiku, ha,
Haiku, haiku haiku, ha…..

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSir Laffsalot

carcass severed feet
blob hell skewered maid tampon
Man rug so fleshy

None of these things say
Let's party and eat some cake
Appetite suppressed

All made from cake why
Just because you can make it
Don't mean I'll eat it

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

Subee I think it
Is diamond demon dust
From the toes of hell.

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Even wild deer
Must take a small precaution
Or lose a kidney

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTauna

Not a Haiku; I'm at work and shouldn't be here at all. BUT I am very grateful that I now click on Amazon link everyday just to click through - and today I saw the Three Sloth Moon shirt, which has undone ALL the damage my eyes sustained when looking at these cakes. Especially the tampon cake. (Red Velvet indeed.) Now, my life continues in balance.

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered Commenternanalettie

All I can think is that deer is going to wake up and discover its kidney is missing...

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterWildaBeast

Someone please tell me what a tampon cake is for. Coming of age celebration for some culture where menarche is celebrated maybe (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menarche#Rites_of_passage)? And even if that's what it is, it's a boring-looking cake; though, the obvious way to add color isn't particularly palatable, either.

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStevenHB

Brielle is aflame
Change letter “B” to an “A”
Tentacles perhaps?

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

A face "palm." Hehe, I almost didn't catch that!

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterChloe

Hold the Jam. Hold. Jam.
Is that a euphemism?
I don't want to know.

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterbrian t

When a Monday is
a day of laughter and cheer
Cakewrecks rock the day!

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

@Sir Saffsalot ~ That was really mean! I saw another parody of that God forsaken song when I was awake at 3 a.m. but it was "What does the Hawk say?" Things are a little outta control here in the PNW!

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Sebastian freaks
"King Triton says 'Guard Ariel'
How do I explain...!?!"

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I see the wedding
Has kids involved (tiny feet)
But why three adults?

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

And on an older topic:

Seeing his shadow,
Groundhog predicts more winter
Outcome: Welcome Spring!

February 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

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