The Far Side of Cake, Vol 11
November 14, 2014 If Dr. Seuss wrote naughty adult books:
;)
I do not like them
Sam-I-Am
I do not like
Green eggs and wang
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Of course, those who knew what to look for could see the early signs of favoritism:
;)
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...then after he lost the Gieco gig, he did a series of humiliating spots for a local Hot Dog stand.
;)
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Days turned to weeks, and weeks to months. Then, one chilly Fall morning, they found them:
;)
10 pristine John Deere hats, carefully arranged around the meadow edges - but not a single tractor in sight.
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"Loves: nature, hunting his kids, volunteering."
;)
Just another reminder of the importance of proper comma use, my friends.
Thanks to Erin H., Amber M., Erin B., Julia K., & Sober (ha!) for setting our sights on the far side.
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Reader Comments (36)
Maybe Dillon is a cat? ;-)
Wrecky as it is, I can't help but think the Dora-hunting cake was deliberate. And if so, I must offer a slow clap of awe at whoever ochestrated its creation.
From here to there, from there to here, funny things are everywhere!
OR
The Cat In The Hat knows a lot about THAT!
Sadly, I'm guessing the person who received the last cake simply loved it.
Did he just shoot Dora the Explorer? Now that's a cake I could go for!
Gieco? Geico, maybe?
Please tell me that two different wreckerators worked in the second set of cakes. Please. Because if I knew that one person did both of these, I think my head woukd explode.
If you flip it over the right way, pic #3 is the Oscar Meier Weeniemobile!
Oh mel, please PLEASE tell us the story of the the hats in the meadow...
As a Dad that has had to sit through far too many episodes of "Dora the Explorer", I find that hunting cake spot on! :-)
Um, maybe going out on a limb here, but I think the last cake is deliberate. How much do you want to bet that Don is in some sort of border militia? Gross.
I love the Far Side cake posts! That was one of my favorite cartoons, and you always capture its essence wonderfully.
What is that first cake supposed to be? WHAT?
Did you guys know that Dr. Seuss did, in fact, draw a lot of nudes outside of his children's books? Though...I remember mostly seeing nude lady drawings. And they're not pornographic, but are interesting art pieces that happen to have nudes in them. No floppity green wangs that I recall :)
That's one sad weenie cake. Maybe he fell out of favor for Wienerschnitzel's The Famous One as "Spokesweenie" .
Now I have Dr. Seuss rhymes bouncing around in my head! It's going to take a whole lot of coffee to make this day useable!
Story behind Dora cake neeeeds to be told. Second cakes-I would LOVE to know how to get one cake right and one cake wrong......
THAT'S why the Grinch is so sour!
It WASN'T his heart!
It WASN'T his shoes!
It was a rather different part...
@Jodee: I can relate. I once had a feline nestle down on my all-weather hat, and THIS poured out:
The cat sat on my hat!
It is now very flat.
He sat on it! My hat!
Not a gnat, not a bat, a CAT!
I think this cat is a bit fat
That is why my hat is flat
He needs food that is nonfat
And I need a new hat
The fat cat sat on my hat
What do you think about that?
Me, I am sad; my hat is FLAT
This cat is a fat brat
Give the cat a mat
He can sit on that
Stay away from my hat!
That's what I think about THAT!
The label on the third cake says "For Holidays." For what holiday do you give a "wiener-mobile" or a hotdog cake with eyes?? I find Don's cake rather amusing. Does this make me a bad person?
A dong cake of bilious green--
It's revolting, grotesque, and obscene,
Made of cupcakes (patooie!),
Moldy, mottled, and gooey--
Is that icing, or is it gangrene?
I'd like to know what Holiday the Hot Dog CCC celebrates? Maybe Halloween and RHPS and Frank-n-furter?
Are there actual green onions on the hot dog cake? It sure looks like it. Yum.
@SaraCVT ~ We used to have a fat orange tabby. She was close to 30 lbs! Your sad tale is one I can totally relate to! Unfortunately, it didn't help with the bouncing rhymes ! ;-)
**Patiently waiting to see what @mel does with this**
I laughed SO hard at the "God Bells" cake! That's one for a church newsletter somewhere. Wonder if that baker is often heard exclaiming the archaic utterance, "Odd's Bodkin!"
I can't figure out what #1 is supposed to be, but it really looks like an Ebola virus.
@Roxy: I'm sure it's either a 6 or a 9.
Hunter, Hunter.
Hunter, Hunter.
I'm a hunter loaded up with things to shoot at you.
I already shot down Dora, now Boots I'll shoot you, too!
Hunter, Hunter.
Hunter, Hunter.
Yeah!
. . . Swiper, No Swiping!
"10 pristine John Deere hats, carefully arranged around the meadow edges - but not a single tractor in sight."
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The reason that there is not a tractor in sight could be because that is not a lawn. It is a slimy, icky green swamp, and all of the tractors AND their riders sank into the slimy, icky green swamp goo. That's Farmer Green's slimy, icky green story and he's sticking with--er, IN it.
The bell tolls for thee, Dillon!
I thought #1 is a flower, badly rendered, on its side.
Well I will never look at Green Eggs and Ham quite the same way ever again. Lol boy wreckerators are changing my childhood memories one wreck at a time.
@VaBeach alemaP and @Jodee: The cake with the hats in the meadow is a celebratory cake used to commemorate not one, but two important milestones in the career of John Deere, whose green tractors are a staple on many farms. As you probably recall, John Deere got his start in the furrow to fame with the 1837 invention of the cast-steel plow. Unlike iron plows, Deere’s steel plow moved easier through the soil, and with its unique design was “self-scouring,” which was nothing to scowl about. While John began in Grand Detour, Illinois, he eventually got tired of all the detours, and moved his business to Moline, Illinois, at that time a transportation hub on the Mississippi River. (Moline, once a prosperous little community, with many financial institutions along the Mississippi, became a ghost town when during a sudden surge in the river level the banks were flooded and the money washed away. A few bankers tried to operate on makeshift rafts, but were unable to float alone, or to float a loan, and they went under.) But back to the story. Deere initially named his plow after the river, and found that when taking inventory it took just one second to tally each plow as his clerks counted “One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi,” and so fourth…err…forth. Later, he got so busy selling plows the names became irrelevant and people just pointed and said “I’ll take that one.”
Now, as his business grew, two problems arose: people sometimes had trouble coming up with the money to buy one of these new plows, and farmers complained about the sun shining in their eyes as they worked with these new implements in the fields. John didn’t know what to do about either concern. He needed income from the sale of the plows just as the farmers needed his plows and he wanted the users to be comfortable, too. He had made some beanie caps with his name and a leaping deer on them to hand out, but for some reason that just wasn’t working.
However, he knew if he kept thinking about these problems he could come up with a solution. After all, his father, a successful farmer, had been out standing in his field, and John had been voted by his senior class as the person “most likely to sack seed.”
Then it came to him, just as he was sitting in the tub for his Saturday night bath. “Eureka!” he exclaimed, suddenly noticing the vacuum stored by the hand towels. That very night John solved both the financial problem and the hat problem with the same two words: bill ‘em. Said John, “If you bill ‘em, the money will come, and if you bill ‘em it’ll keep the sun out some.”
The cake pictured here is in commemoration of that event. The hats, now made with bills, are gathered around and pointing to a growing, green field, symbolic of the money that continually comes in as the farmers pay their bills.
In addition to nudes, Dr. Seuss did write an "erotic" book: The Seven Lady Godivas. You can read a bit about it and see the drawings here.
http://www.brainpickings.org/2012/03/02/dr-seuss-seven-lady-godivas/
OMG, I'm somebody now!!! The hotdog with eyes got on Cake Wrecks! I told my daughter that if you are a bad person in this life you will be reincarnated as a hot dog cake, peering creepily through a plastic container until you are consumed.
That last one is not even funny. That is horrific. I don't understand how anyone could think that it was meant to be as innocent as a father taking his angst out on a cartoon.