Friday Favs 10/10/14
October 10, 2014 If you think I'm touching this one with a ten-foot-pole...
;)
Not. Saying. a WORD.
Let's try something a little less potentially controversial, k? Like some nice, pastel yellow, powdered holes.
Wait.
What?
;)
Marketing Guy #1: "I dunno, is there some way we can make donut holes sound both unappetizing and vaguely pornographic?"
Marketing Guy #2: Oh! And oddly specific!
I don't want to spoil any plot points on a thirty year old movie or anything, guys, but that's a father and daughter on this misspelled divorce cake:
;)
"NOOOooOOOOOooOOO!"
And finally, she asked for a princess carriage.
What she got was a whole lotta 'splainin' to do:
;)
Awk. Waaaard.
Thanks to Crystal R., Jennifer B., Elizabeth A., Anony M., & Casey D. for giving new meaning to the phrase, "My baby's getting married!"
*****
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Reader Comments (52)
LOL! I saw those yellow donut holes at Kroger the other day. They had orange ones, too. Ack!
Love the "Nutrition Facts" on the Holes; Total Fat, 19%, Saturated Fat, 31%, Sodium (salt) 17%, Total Carbs, 19%, Sugar 13grams, and protein 3grams. Gaaaaack!
Sung to ABC (Easy as 1,2,3)
CDC, have a big slice for me
And Scooby is seizure free
Hey, look see!
Powdered holes just for you and me, guys!
Darth and she, broke a few laws, I see
Congrats to the Bride-to-be
Hey Honey? Have you got something to tell me, girl?
Being epileptic myself, I can understand wanting to celebrate one year seizure free. It's a big deal (though I've never gotten cake...hmmm..) It's that Scooby that makes my jaw drop (see what I did?) Maybe he's had a few seizures himself.
And NO WONDER they're getting divorced...they just now found out they're related (at least we hope it was just now--cue "Deliverance" banjos)
As for that Ebola cake, I hear it's gone viral.
I agree, the first two cakes, no go area but you've got to wonder why anyone would have an Ebola cake made..... a repeat of the sexual harassment cake? I am not seeing any "holes"? Blonde holes, anyone? lol. The last cake, OMG!! i would be mortified if there was no bun in my oven. Hahahaha!!!! What were they thinking!!!!!
HAY!! YAY!!!!
Funny you should post that Star Wars cake the same day I decide to rewatch Episode IV; we really have an odd sense of timing. As for the rest, I have no words. None.
Love the song choice Sharyn--so brilliant. Love this post, especially the last cake. Exactly what I needed this morning.
That's supposed to be Darth Vader? Doesn't look much like him. More like some anonymous Death Star tech married (but not any longer) to a big-lipped princess-bun fetishist. So no incest here, oh no!
I like the dog cake! Having a Goldendoodle who is epileptic, I would celebrate a year free from seizures too!
I read "PASTY" yellow powdered holes, which frankly I think is a more accurate description of that color.
"Ruh-Roh, Shaggy!"
Pastel Yellow Powdered Holes: An Appreciation By
An Old Man In the Sea:
Alas, my boat is caught upon the shoal,
If only I had a pastel yellow powdered hole
To eat and while away the time
As I recite the Ancient Mariner’s rhyme
And hope that, O, some passing ship
Will not go by and give me the slip.
A Gardener:
My shrubs were dying, in death’s throe,
What the culprit was, I know:
It burrows all around the house
And no, my friend, ‘tis not a mouse,
But rather a group of vicious moles.
I poisoned them with pastel yellow powdered holes.
Martha Stewart:
What makes a room look extra cheery,
Drives away the air of dreary,
Perks up a place and can’t be beat
(and also is a tasty treat)?
Just put them out in great big bowls:
Pastel yellow powdered holes.
A Veterinarian:
Any time I’m birthing foals
I always give them
Pastel yellow powdered holes.
A Confused Turnpike Driver:
I did not know
You cannot
Pay
Your tolls
With
Pastel yellow powdered holes.
The Discouraged Electorate:
This November, at the polls,
I’m writing in
Pastel Yellow Powdered Holes.
Parent Driving With Kids:
We’re not there yet,
But over those nolls
We’ll stop and get some
Pastel yellow powdered holes.
A Leisurely Walker:
I like to take my evening strolls
With pockets full of pastel yellow powdered holes.
An Optimist:
Over my life I have no control,
But I’ll always be happy if I have a
Pastel yellow powdered hole.
Naughty Children Before Christmas:
We hope our stockings won’t be filled with coals,
But we wouldn’t mind some
Pastel yellow powdered holes.
A Person With Low Expectations:
It always has been one of my goals
To eat some pastel yellow powdered holes.
Once again genius, Sharyn, pure genius!
OMG sharyn-perfect XD XD Maybe the ebola cake is for a medical lab O.o the divorce cake is well done and funny in a twisted way....
Divorce and Force both have a C, so why is this spelled DivorSe?
It's such a shame that all that wirk went into the Scooby Doo CCC. All that beautiful piping can't make up fir the awkward shape.
Did anyone see Buzzfeed today ( http://www.buzzfeed.com/briangalindo/24-people-who-shouldnt-be-allowed-to-decorate-cakes?bffb&utm_term=4ldqpgp#4h1l49c )
Jen, you should contact Mr. Potato, head counsel...
Not to mention is divorce not spelled with a "c" instead of an "s"?
Hilarious!!!
You know this page will now be in quarantine for awhile, right?!?! lol
@ jen, the first three put me right off ever wanting to eat cake again. So thanks for helping me with my diet!
@ lem, Darn you! You had me weeping for the Marshmallow Man again! And then I was laughing so hard I snorted and the dog came running over to see what the heck was going on. Oh you and your ways!
Hear the news?? Ebola's gone "VIRAL"!
That last cake is the same as my baby shower cake! Hahaha poor "Bride to be" Well they do say first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage!!!
So who wants to place bets on when we'll see the first "One Year Ebola Free" cake on here? Looking at you, Dr. Kent Brantly! You like Scooby Doo cupcake cakes?
I seem to be possessed of the spirits of famous poets this week...
Do not speak gently of that failed bake.
Aesthetes should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage, against the wrecking of the cake.
Who would take a piece from an Ebola cake?
Because the words were a falsehood they
Do not speak gently of that failed bake.
Scooby, seizure-free, was hit with a rake.
His mouth is twisted and shouting yay,
Rage, rage, against the wrecking of the cake.
Holes in pastel yellow powder are slake'd.
Oddly specific and distateful, I'd say.
Do not speak gently of that failed bake.
'Tis mother, not daughter, had marriage break,
And spelling wrongly is not okay.
Rage, rage, against the wrecking of the cake.
A carriage is meant, in truth, to take
The bride to wedding - no child on the way.
Do not speak gently of that failed bake.
Rage, rage, against the wrecking of the cake.
I so enjoy CW every day. Jen, when you put out your next book, you should collaborate with mel.
NOOOooooOOOO! Where did the ebola cake go? Who complained? I'd like to send them a lovely cake.
I just saw it, and now it's gone? Did someone seriously complain about the Ebola cake? Maybe that's okay since I seem to have developed a little cough. It's probably nothing. o.O
So if Scooby is that badly deformed do they have to pay royalties?
I think the "rs" in "divorse" is supposed to be mimicking the "rs" in the Star Wars logo.
"Supposed to be" being the operative words...
Scooby is unquestionably a wreck, and not a very healthy-looking one at that, but a seizure-free year does seem like an excellent thing to celebrate. I wonder if the "cake" (I'm guessing cupcakes) is a reference to a seizure dog, which would at least make sense. (Notes: Evan's aunt is a friend; if you're interested in his book, you can get it through Amazon - see Jen's link above - and support Cake Wrecks.)
As for the (now MIA) ebola cake, I'm guessing it wasn't an offended baker, but someone who found the subject unfunny. As wrecks go, it wasn't spectacular, just average except for the actual text on the cake. You can see a different sort of ebola cake wreck here: well-done (and deliberately icky) gallows humor.
If you had a baby carriage on your bridal shower cake...you might be a redneck! Although it could use some camo, a shotgun and a beer can! Lol
so where did my post go? gone into cyberspace with "that" cake.
[Editor's note- Huh. I have no idea. You asked about the ebola cake. I took it down because it was making people sad and that really defeats the purpose of the whole site. Hope that helps. -john (thoJ)]
Pastel Yellow Powdered Holes: An Appreciation By
A Fan of lem
Exalted poet lem, you must know,
Off to the bakery I now need go.
You've started a yearning deep in my soul.
For a Pastel Yellow Powdered Hole.
apologies to lem, mel, elm
Isn't divorce spelled with a "C"? Lol.
1. Jen, please hand me the 10-foot pole; I'll take care of that for you.
2. TENNIS, anyone?...(she said nervously)...I wouldn't SERVE those to a dog!
3. Leia to Darth: "Is that a light saber, or are you just unhappy to see me?"
4. ....That last one, now. Hmmm...I'm just...uh...
Okay; WHY do I keep hearing banjos??
=^e.e^=
Divorse? Spelling???
Fine parody of Dylan Thomas by Starknight.
In Tom and Jerry films, the characters have boxes of Acme Holes, which are black discs which can be thrown on the ground to create a hole. I don't think a yellow one would work -- or would it bring you up in the Sahara?
@ Roxy Random: I think "Big-lipped Princess-Bun Fetishist" should be a rock band.
...=^-.-^= (she's serious...stop snickering!)
HEY! My birthday cake was posted on here this morning, and now it's gone!
Seriously, you overly sensitive complainers with nothing better to do? I can't help that my mama named me after an infectious disease! I deserve to have my wreck on here just like anyone else!
Wait until I tell my sisters, Influenza and Malaria, and my brother, Cholera, about this! They're NOT going to be happy!
(John, I'm sorry you have to handle the uptight wackos.)
@SuBee: I have checked that site and was aghast! Also, appalled. Furthermore, I lost my plus and am now nonplussed. Our firm would be more than willing to assist in any way deemed appropriate, and a few ways that may be slightly less than appropriate, as long as no names are used, hypothetically speaking.
@Sandy: We’re all here to laugh, and I’m glad I could contribute to that cause for you. Thank you for your comment. By the way, snorting gets you extra credit. But I’m curious – just how did you explain it to the dog?
@allegra: I appreciate your comment. Thank you for that vote of confidence. However, Jen really needs no help – she and john(thoJ) are dynamite on their own. I have read both CW books numerous times, and continue to re-read them all the time. And every time I read a section, it is as funny to me as it was the first time I read it. Thanks again for your kind comment.
@LuLu: Thank you for posting that clever poem! You made me laugh! And thank you for enjoying my posts. I hope your quest for a Pastel Yellow Powdered Hole was as successful and as enjoyable as your poem!
Darth Vader wearing a football helmet? Must be "Darth Raider" from the Oakland Raiders.
Well, one you consider that the "couple" in the painting American Gothic are ALSO father and daughter... it's not so awkward?
Wow poor Scooby Doo. What on earth did they do to his mouth? Lol poor guy. Never saw the Ebola cake so it will forever remain a mystery. I think those powdered yellow holes should have stayed a mystery too lol scary how marketing gets sometimes.
Longtime lurker. There have been many funny comments and parodies on this site, but the odes to the pastel yellow powdered holes by mel made me come out of the shadows to give a well-deserved ovation. Hilarious!
I'm baffled by the green writing on Scooby's cake.
<directs bright light into Scooby's eyes>
Mr Doo, (heh, Dog. Doo. heheheh.) Ahem.
WHY does your cake say "Happy one year seizure free yay"? Surely "Congratulations on one year seizure free" is more grammatical?
Secondly, WHY are the ps in "Happy" on the same line, when all the other letters have their own space? Is this some kind of code?
Thirdly, Mr Doo, WHY do the tails of the ps join to the top of the y?? It looks like a chicken's wishbone. Do you have something against chickens, Mr Doo?
Mr Doo, I demand an explanation!
...
Mr Doo, do you have something in your eye? Is the light bothering you? Sorry about that.
I don't think I'm the first one to think of this, but it's early and I don't feel like reading all of the comments. So, here goes. Scooby-Scooby-don't. That's all I could think of. :P
@lem/mel . . . brilliant.
I know I'm a day late but I'm guessing that a certain smuggler wasn't good enough for Darth's little princess.