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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jul312013

Droning It In

Ever wish that a fully decorated cake would just fall into your lap? Well now, thanks to unmanned drone technology, IT CAN.

That's right, a bakery in Shanghai, China recently began using drones to deliver their cakes. DRONES, you guys. Flying drones.

This may be the most brilliant creation ever invented, my friends. In fact, I'm suddenly feeling a lot less bitter about my lack of hoverboards and self-lacing sneakers. Flying robots delivering cake? Never mind, future: I'M GOOD.

Plus, drone-dropped cakes are great for so many occasions! You know, like:

New Years:

Mother's Day:

Birthdays:

... and baby showers!

Even small orders will get that special "droned in" touch:

Oh, and can't forget The Big Day!

 

Not to worry; I'm sure that'll spring right back...

 Yes, my friends, the future is finally here, and the future is good. A little smooshed, sure, but good - and I, for one...

What's that, you say? 

China has GROUNDED the cake drones? Because the cakes might fall on someone or whatever?

Ok, I take it back. 

GIMMIE MY HOVERBOARD, FUTURE.


Thanks to Jessica S., Karra A., Lindsay S., David P., Seanna B., Rachel O., Jessy A., & Jessica R. for dropping by.

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Reader Comments (61)

Grounded? That's a shame -- I'd heard drone-delivered cakes were everything they were cracked up to be.

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

But I can still get pizza, right?

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Big brother is watching...he sees you are hungry and wants a snack O_o

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Sharyn, you stole my line!

I can understand how some of the smaller cakes cracked when they were moved, etc. But could a professional please explain to me how these larger wedding cakes fell apart? Are these delivery disasters? If not, how can they have such complete meltdowns -- especially the last two cakes?

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Ow--I hurt myself chuckling inside so as not to offend these poor victims. They all have stories to tell, I'm sure, but the last one just reached out and *touched" me*, emotionally. It just looks so...defeated!
I can't explain it! It's probably obvious to everybody without my having to describe it, but what I "see" looks almost like a woman wearing a fancy white dress and a string of pearls, who danced hard and partied hard, became exhausted, and collapsed onto the first thing there was TO land on (don't ask me what that is) and is now sleeping it off. We can't see any arms, legs or head (etc.)-maybe they skipped out a while back to go for pizza.The green things are either a plant she fell into en route to the collapse, or part of a salad that she was saving for later. (Now watch: 10 others will have already posted, saying the exact same thing that I just did!)
=^-.-^= (*ew!)

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

So with a drone we will be able to get a literal Cake Wreck? The irony.

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCathy

(To the tune of "I Fall To Pieces")

Caaaaakes fall to pieces,
Each time they're dropped in again
Caaaaakes fall to pieces,
How can cake drones be your friend?

You get them not cracked, but the top they've kissed,
A yadhtrib cake, I'll bet
Pretend it was a jet
It tried and it tried, but it hasn't yet
They're dropped by and they fall to pieces

Caaaaakes fall to pieces,
Each time someone does the same
Caaaaakes fall to pieces,
Tiers fall and they're pan'd, a shame

You tell me to find some way else to get
Cakes to the one I want to
But intact, unlike you
They don't drone out, their days are through
They won't fly and therefore fall to pieces
They won't fly and therefore fall to pieces

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

There is something strangely poignant about the sliding panda and his lost limb...

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

i wonder if drone-delivered cakes were ever in the jetsons.

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjane lewis

Sendingtheclowns - I had the same thought that it is a woman fallen over, but, unlike you, I have a nicer mind and I thought it was the bride "fallen over" her brand new husband, kissing passionately. Maybe the start of their wedding night, huh? I guess he is all hidden by her huge white frock, although you can see a little brown head-like thing.

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkt

Sendingtheclowns - I had the same thought that it is a woman fallen over, but, unlike you, I have a nicer mind and I thought it was the bride "fallen over" her brand new husband, kissing passionately. Maybe the start of their wedding night, huh? I guess he is all hidden by her huge white frock, although you can see a little brown head-like thing.

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkt

That last cake makes me sad.

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

@Sharyn: drats...I was gonna say that...well...no sense on droning on...
@Nyperold: lol...good work!
@Cathy: and at no extra charge!

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

I attended a cousin's wedding a few years back and noticed there were two cakes. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that it was ONE cake that had fallen apart - one of the pieces extremely mangled. I was told that yes, indeed, it had been dropped. But it was still delicious (it had been protected when it fell, thank goodness!)

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStephen A.

Send In the Cakes (with apologies to Stephen Sondheim and Judy Collins)


Isn’t this rich?
I do declare.
Me here, I wait on the ground,
You in mid-air.
Where are the cakes?

This isn’t bliss,
I don’t approve.
I keep waiting around
Up on the roof.
Where are the cakes?
Send in the cakes.

Just when I ordered cakes once again
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours,
Making my order again with my usual flair
Sure of my spelling,
(Put sprinkles right there.)

Don’t you love farce?
My fault, it’s clear.
I thought you could bring what I want…
And drop it right here.
And where are the cakes?
Send in the cakes.
They ought to be here.

Isn’t it rich?
Isn’t it queer?
Losing my cakes to a drone, I shed a tear.
And where are the cakes?
I really want cakes.
Oh, they’re that mess here….

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSir Laffsalot

Looks like one of the Barely There Ninja Bears has met its match

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

I have a first-hand answer for TLC. I was best man at a wedding where the wedding cake was three-tiered, but each tier was placed separately on its own tall cylinder, creating a floating stairstep look. Just before the start of the reception, with the cakes in place, the photographer decided to adjust positions for improved picture-taking. A tall cylinder with a cake on top is not the most stable item, which the photographer found out when he moved the middle tier. Luckily the middle tier fell away from the other two tiers, but even better was the photographer trying to catch the falling cake. They propped it back up and turned the tier in such a way that the damage was least noticeable - but from behind there was a smashed flat surface with a handprint in it.

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRob

Guess they should drop fruitcakes. O.O

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

@kt:
Okey-dokey, then...I'll take your "nicer mind" and raise you one "soon-to-be-dead new husband". The husband's "little brown head-like thing" seems way too, er.."bite-size" to keep her...uh..."electrolyte-balanced"? for long- I wager she'll be on the hunt again (for more cake) before he ink's even dry on the bakery receipt.
@Nagzilla("That last cake makes me sad."): It made me sad, too. I was SO hoping for chocolate!
@mel: Drone away! I've got all day! I'll listen to anything you have to say.Bring it-sing it-go outside and fling it! =^~.~^=
@Caroline B: Now that you point it out, it is pretty sad/pitiful; thanks for ruining my day!!
The 7th "cake"...I 'm waiting for the authorities to draw a chalk line around it...and to call for forks and plates. Hey, it's already dead-might as well eat the damn thing.
=^e.e^= *urp*

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Oh no! Those first two cakes have a crack in the universe! I thought I fixed all those, Come Along Pond- we've got to reset the universe again!

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTheDoctor

Sadly, our vibration dampening technology is still in the 19th century.

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDanny

I just love that everyone is writing songs now, and they're all fantastic! Add that to the plethora of funny people on this site, and it's consistently my happy place.

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

How on Earth did you make it through an entire post about cakey robots without referencing Portal?

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterM.

The birthday cake looks like it's made out of layered taco dip.

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Oh that last cake! How can a cake wreck have SO much personality? I can almost hear it weeping... maybe it was dragged up from the bottom of the sea? Might explain the strange 'seaweed' around it and the fact it looks like it drowned at some stage before the wedding. I almost love it...

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaoirse

"7/2" cake (7th down): That's not a cake; it's a crime scene. And why does the inside look SO "moist"? I give it two thumbs down, and one head down (over the toilet bowl).
@Sir Laffsalot: Ahhhh-my "namesake" song....sort of!
@mel: You just "drone" away until you can drone no more-and I hope that's a long way away.
Hey, where's Craig? I'm chilly and wanted to ask him if he'd wear a sweater in my general direction.(I can't help it; I cracked up over that and I keep it in my pocket.) (figuratively...if one can have a figurative pocket)

=^-.-^= I want my own drone

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I once baked a two-layer cake for my daughter's birthday. After I took the cake pans out of the oven, we went to the county fair. When we got back, I saw that the layers had cracked. I called it a cake-quake. My solution was massive amounts of frosting.

But then, I'm not a professional ... (good thing, too!)

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCaySedai

Oh my, does that last one even have dowels for support???

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEveline

Is that a tissue on the next-to-last cake? Were they trying to clean up that horrific mess with a TISSUE?

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteressjaytee

With China's population at nearly 20% of the world's 7 BILLION people, apparently drones are needed to fill in for delivery people. Um, yeah.

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

That last cake may be the saddest I've ever seen. From the crack to the schlumped over top and those poor corn husk flowers...I hope it didn't depress the whole bridal party.

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJanBoogie

That last cake looks like the bride fainted onto a potted plant and her dress is half falling off. Really, doesn't it?

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAisha

They don't really deliver cakes by drone anywhere, do they? If they did, it'd be in the US, not China.

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

If I was the bride who was presented with that last cake I would SUE the bakers and/or whoever delivered it into the Stone Age.

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBea

=^9.9^=

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterhuh

Ha! Those are great pics, but I've done better! I'm usually able to fix or save just about any mistake, but when a three-tier topsy-turvy cake started to fall apart during transport, and CRACKED straight down the middle, flopping to both sides, there was no saving it... I tried, and it got worse... tried again, and made it impossibly broken... so I beat it to death with my frosting knife. After hours of decorating and frayed nerves... it was so gratifying.

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda Reed

Once upon a long, long time ago... I made cakes at home for spending money. The absolute worst experience was the 25th anniversary cake made to look "just like their wedding cake", with a swathe of 125 royal-icing roses sweeping from top tier to serving platter. Believe me, I KNOW it was 125 - I had to make about 175 to make sure of spares....

Turned out that the cake had to be delivered to the {blank} Country Club two towns over - and the town had torn up the only approach road to the club that week. Imagine potholes, pothills, and chasms. We made it to the venue, opened the car's hatch, and....... the weight of the roses, plus vibration, had jarred the cake apart - the whole swath was pulled off. I was devastated, as was the cake.

So we sneaked into the hall (no family there yet, thank the lord), and I swiped a fistful of bar straws from the bartender. Then I pulled out my trusty icing bags and spare buttercream and caulked that crack like a master mason, carefully pushing the rose swathe back in place against the rest of the cake, inserting a skinny plastic straw in the center of the pivotal roses and covering each tiny hole with a tiny spot of buttercream. The edges of the crack also received mortar, and were disguised with more leaves and vines. By the time I was done, it looked perfect.

I called the caterer over and explained that there was a "support structure" holding up the roses, and that they should be careful when cutting into it (not that a knife was going to slice royal icing roses, anyway). Then I made for home.

Next day, I got a call from the hostess of the party. I prepared to mail back the check with an apology - but she was full of praise for the "gorgeous cake", so moist and delicious, so beautiful, so perfect! She promised to tell all her friends about it and recommend that they buy all their cakes from me!

Thus was a Wreck turned into a Triumph... and a lesson for the amateur decorator. Carry a repair kit!

Although I don't think a repair kit would've helped any of the wrecks above...

@essjaytee ("Were they trying to clean up that horrific mess with a TISSUE?"):
Oh, goodness no! Definitely not...And that's actually not a tissue. It's a disposable diaper. Unfortunately (and as one can vividly see), it wasn't even remotely helpful enough, and they had to call for backup...because things were getting seriously, you know, backed-up.
=^>.<^=yik

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Greetings from 'sunny' SoCal, where the mid-summer temperature is a sweltering 74. Or as we SoCalians say, "sweater weather."

They probably canned the cake flights because some joker hacked in and was diverting them to himself (or herself, but girls aren't usually referred to as 'jokers'). Which, for the record, is not at all what I would do. Not even slightly.

#1 & 2 These were created by Joe San Andreas, who was assigned blame for their demise. It became fashionable to blame him for just about everything, which is why you often hear "San Andreas' fault" in connection with earthquakes in California (land of sweater-wearing in mid-summer).

#3 I'm getting kind of a tostada vibe from this one. (I'm also thinking that 'Tostada Vibe' would be a great name for a Caribbean Tijuana Brass tribute band.) Clearly, cakes in future will have to have large warning labels: "DO NOT INVERT BEFORE REMOVING COVER".

#4 "We sort of sampled it on the way home -- ya think anyone will notice?"

#5 Mary: "Let me get a picture of that. Can you do something about the reflection from the lights?"
Larry: "Sure -- let me tilt it a bit...oops."

#6 "It's a sign!" "No it isn't, we just ordered the cake from Joe San Andreas. It's his fault."

#7 If you forget a cake server, improvise. Telling guests to "just go ahead and dig in" will not end well.

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I don't see where anyone has given even a cursory, backward glance at the poor Leaning Tower of Pieces. It's truly a Wrecksody in Blue. It, like all the others, has very likely caused the cake-ingesting guests to suffer a close encounter of the GURD* kind. But look on the bright (blue) side! At least when the stuff is returned for deposit, it will likely/maybe be at least "interesting", and maybe even a lovely shade of--oh, forget it. Please.
*(Gastroesophageal reflux disease)
=^0.o^= (erupturedy in blue?)

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Well done Nyperold and Sir Laffsalot! You guys ROCK!

@sendingtheclowns ~ you crack me up!

I saw this post early this morning but work got busy so I couldn't post until now. I really hate that work is getting in the way of my CW time. However, I did get a raise today so... yay me!

Am I the only one that sees corn husks on that last cake?

Thanks Jen for the BTTF references. Now I want to watch it again!

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Merry, your story made my heart sing.

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

the songs!! WOOT

@Craig if there's ever a Caribbean Tijuana Brass tribute band called 'Tostada Vibe' I will become a groupie! (gasp)

congrats on the raise, Jodee

the panda's face and the decorating on the square wedding cake are actually nicely done!
WHOA
(presses hand to forehead)
am I running a fever or something??

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

@Jodee:
Congratulations on your raise! That's awesome! I haven't had one in ages...but I have a sneaking suspicion that it may have something to do with my not being employed....=^>.<^= I'm retired, and really tired of that. Do they have any more jobs where you are? I''m not easy, but I can be had....
=^-.~^=(Liar! You're easy!)

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Someone spare my eyes...each cake is worse than the last....oh dear...

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

@Jodee ("Am I the only one that sees corn husks on that last cake?"): Well, no...No, you're not. I see them, too. Little, faintly-stripey, delicately-shaded, wafer-thin corn husks....Uh-huh, that's what they are.
(rocking back and forth on balls of feet....whistling faintly...rolling eyes up as if searching for airplane in distance...)
"Well!!MyTaxi'sHereGottaRunNiceTalkingToYouBYEee~~"

=^6.6^= I wonder what they were supposed to BE...?!

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Rob: thanks for the explanation.

Bravo to all of our songwriters. Maybe all of you could merge your talents and form "Tostada Vibe."

Anony mouse: Brilliant idea!

Jodee: Congrats on the raise!

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

@Jodee: thanks, and congratulations on the raise!

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSir Laffsalot

@Jodee -- hey! a raise! that's great! (well, since no doubt you are the flour of the firm, it was the yeast they could do....) :-)

August 1, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

Aw those poor cakes. Especially the brides who received cakes that look like a bus ran over them a few hundred times.. wow. And I feel sad for the poor panda lol.

August 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

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