Art School Rejects
June 12, 2013 Ever wonder what happened to all the people who submitted their drawings of Tippy the Turtle and were rejected by the famous artist school?
;)
"Eye. Hat. Turtleneck(s). Nailed it!"
'Cuz I think a lot of them became cake decorators.
Think about it:
How else can you explain someone promising this...
;)
... and then delivering this?
;)
"Square. Dots. Tag. Nailed it!"
Or how about this Mad Hatter's treat?
;)
"Just the two top tiers, you say? In pink, purple, and green? Cool."
;)
***
"You mad?"
"So this one wants a cake with a big bow and a bald baby? Noooo problem."
;)
[THUNK]
;)
"That'll be $49.95."
Of course, sometimes bad art can have consequences. After all, there's a fine line between cute as a button:
;)
... and lifelong therapy.
;)
"Can't sleep; button-eyes will eat me."
Thanks to Adriane D., Cara N., Joana, Anony M., and Tippy for the artful education.
Reader Comments (57)
Even the "good" button-eyes is creepy as heck! Too Other-Mothery o_O
I think the other mother found a new daughter
after Coraline escaped. That last one (and
the one above it for me) is creepy.
On that last cake, is that a pink lasagna noodle for the hair?
Last cake looks like a horror/tim burton movie D:
Speaking of Coraline, here's Neil talking about it. "They're only buttons...."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vQC0QVXa33o#t=0s
{I want to smash your face into this cake.}
{I want to continue smashing your face afterward.}
{I am turning around and walking out of this store without saying a word.}
{I will never return to this store, nor will I ever go to any store sharing its name or being part of the same corporation.}
{Your competitor sells cakes. I will buy a sheet cake.}
{I will bring said cake to party, and leave.}
{I'll be OK in a few days.}
I couldn't help myself from posting this link, the Tippy Turtle drawing just prompted it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DDdM66_nSI
That second "Mad Hatter" cake looks like a badly made pillbox hat sitting on a flattened spider. Poor Celia.
@Amanda H, I concur. Just...wow.
Hey, Jude.... (with apologies to the Beatles)
Hey, Jude, don’t feel so bad,
Take a sad cake and make it better.
Remember, it’s the thought that really counts,
Then you can start to feel better.
Hey, Jude, you did your part,
You went out and placed your order,
Don’t let this wreck get under your skin,
It’s only batter….
And anytime you feel the pain, hey, Jude, refrain,
Don’t carry this wreck upon your shoulders,
For well you know that it’s the baker’s the fool
And in the Cake Wreck hell he smolders.
Hey, Jude, don’t let me down,
It’s just frosting; it’s just batter,
Remember you’ll get your money back
Then you can find a baker better.
So pass it out and let’s dig in, hey Jude, begin,
You’re waiting for someone to hand you plates,
And don’t you know that it’s just you, hey Jude, you’ll do,
The plates you need are next to your shoulder.
Hey, Jude, you did your part,
You went out and placed your order,
Don’t let this wreck get under your skin,
It’s only batter….
Batter batter batter batter batter batter, oh.
Na na na na na ,na na na, hey Jude...
The only time I ever got my hair done to be in a wedding, I had a similar situation. They had a book of styles specifically for events. I chose one involving a model that had my hair type. What I got was something a) completely different and b) awful. I didn't say anything because I wasn't paying for it and I didn't want to offend anyone but it was actually kind of embarrassing to parade around like that for the rest of the day.
I definitely can't show my son today's Wrecks! I took him to see Coraline and he was scared to death and wanted to leave 1/2 way through the movie. The last two cakes will bring back his nightmares!
Actually, I think the decorator's of those fail cakes are playing it safe. They don't want to be sued for plagerism. And they are right, It's not too likely to happen after this round of decorating.
I've always thought that character's button eyes were freaky. It's no surprise to me that a copy is even creepier.
"Art Instruction School" hopeful/reject cake: Well! I just HOPE that the poor kid (at least I HOPE that it was a kid-sheesh) who made that cake doesn't see THIS, because he/she was PROBABLY all EXCITED about how GOOD that cake looks...and, and..he/she PROBABLY THOUGHT that he'd/she'd even get a BIG SCHOLARSHIP to the AIS, and..and..he/she really-really wanted to be an ARTIST...and, and a BAKER, wh-wh-who w-would g-get f-f--FAMOUS...and m-made the m-most b-beauti f-ful c-cakes in th-the huh-WHOLE Wu-WORLD...a-and, Oh, y-you g-guys are all j-just a b-bunch uh-of b-Big m-MEANnnnnieees..!!!~(runs,crying hysterically,from cyber room)
=^u.u,^=
#1b: Is there a ribbon around the bottom of that cake, or is it just that flat?
2rd: The handwriting and hat size are very well done...
3st: REALLY? With all the carrot jockeys and king cake babies lying around, THIS is what they come up with?
4nd: It's not the eyes that do me in on that one. It's the uneven orange skin tone and that 'cat-that-ate-the-canary' grin. *shudder*
I think that last one was a Goa'uld birthday cake...
Heeeeyy Jude, that's a great parody! :-) and I was thinking "Good one, Sharyn!", until I reached the end & saw it was Sir Laffsalot - well done!
And now I know not to let my son see "Coraline". Ever. Or these cakes, for that matter...
That last one looks like something from a video game set in a children's world that's gone horribly wrong and twisted and dark. It'd be a boss for the second or third area, and a few areas later would return as a regular mook.
Frankly (my dear), I don't even like the "real" "cute-as-a-button" cake, because I've always had a "thing" about faces with something important missing from them. (The "thing" being that they CREEP ME THE **** OUT.) Maybe it's just me, but I feel that a NOSE sort of qualifies as "important".
=^e.e^=
Wow. Nicely done Sir Laffsalot! I didn't even look at the name, because I knew it was Sharyn's usual genius, until I saw Karate Lady's post and had to do a double take. Sang the whole thing through in my head. Even added "batter, batter, batter" in a climbing scale after the great, "it's only batter" line.
Also, as usual, I agree wholeheartedly with Amanda H. I was going to post about the creepiness of the first button eyes cake, but she got to it first. There is a reason I haven't seen Coraline.
I think the last one is supposed to be a lala loopsy doll. I will now back to lurking, slightly embarrassed I could identify that.
I think those last ones are supposed to be "La La Loopsy". Of course, that concept is a wreck in and of itself....
The button eyes is a Lalaloopsy doll. It is a line of dolls and a tv show on Nick. My 3 year old likes them.
I'm pretty sure the last two are supposed to be La La Loopsy doll heads. The non wreck is a pretty good likeness. :)
Not that the cake was by any means good, but I have to wonder if the topsy turvey cake was an instance of "This is the cake I want." "Great! So glad you can do it. Now, I don't want fondant." Very frustrating, but still doesn't excuse a poor job.
Hey,Sir Laffsalot--
You took a sad post, and made it fun~nier!
@Amanda H: I don't like the "good" button-eyed caked, either! I don't like the "eyes," because the little "x"s look like the cartoon version of when somebody gets knocked out cold. =^x.x^=
Also, a face without a major feature missing (like a NOSE) always creeps me. Ick.
It's sort of like that old (wayyy old) comic strip that was called "Henry." If I remember correctly, he had no mouth. !Eww!
@ Sir Laffsalot: May I add my admiration? Good job!
Wreck #3 - Awwww. It's Strax's baby shower cake!
Nice job Sir Laffsalot! I was thinking "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad" would be a good parody piece for this, but I like yours better!
I actually found the "wreck" Other-Mother less creepy than the "good" one. I could remain in the same room as the wreck. The good one? No way.
I have never liked dolls with button eyes so the last two are equally creepy to me. I never likes Raggedy Ann and Andy for the same reason, which I know makes me unAmerican and the NSA will come and get me as soon as I click Create Post.
EPCOT ALERT!
It really is Lala Loopsy. Or as my niece says, "Yaya Yoopsy!"
~ Heading back to the bunker, y'all! ~
I've never heard of Lala Loopsy but if those wrecks are any indication, I'm thinking that's a good thing!
@Sir Laffsalot ~ Most impressive! Now I'll have THAT song stuck in my head for the rest of the day!
As for the wrecks masquerading as cakes, I'm glad my kids are ok with birthday pie!
@ karatelady don't let your son read the book
either. It's even creepier than the movie and
I was an adult the first time I read it.
Oh, fer crying out loud, I wrote the exact opposite of what I MEANT to say (I wrote "a face without a major feature missing") INSTEAD of "a face WITH a major feature missing". Fer crying out loud. But WTH--y'all knew what I meant, AND who cares, anyway? It's all just in the name of fun and depravity!!
Listen! Can you hear it? It's the CW unofficial "theme song":
("WE will, we will, WRECK YOU (BANG!) WRECK you...WE will, we will WRECK YOU (BANG!) WRECK you......!!!
=^~.~^=
Oh, let's be Positive! about these wrecks. They're tidy! The spelling is OK! No plastic flotsam! They might even be edible!
I agree with gobbler, these are some of the neater attempts- still wrecks but not total messes.
The bad baby cake makes me think if Brad Pitt in the movie "Seven" screaming, "WHAT'S IN THE BOX?!"
Let's see... I can scarcely believe there isn't a "you get what you pay for" / "can't expect to buy a Cadillac at the Yugo dealer" Epcot already under way. Not even a "hey, most of these aren't that bad" mini-Epcot.
#1W: Well, at least the basic food groups are covered: vegetable-that-maybe-one-person-in-ten-will-actually-eat (I'm assuming that is cauliflower), pretzels, and the all-important 'cake' group (which brings in wheat, milk and eggs, per Cosby).
I've never seen or read Coraline, which fact is apparently cause for celebration, so I don't find anything unusually creepy about the last one. Except for the whole 8-pick-in-the-forehead thing and no nose, and the 'Xs' in the eyes, like it's undead...never mind. I just explained to myself why it's creepy.
@Sir Laffsalot: Stupendous!
@MyGoodness: Ahahaha! Perfect. And also, *shudder*.
And here I thought the "cross-stitched" eyes meant ... dead. So neither of the last 2 cakes does ANYthing for me.
those dolls don't scare me nearly as much as sock monkeys. freak-out city. my late grandmother used to tease me as she thought it was funny that a (redacted) year old woman couldn't even sleep in a room with a visible sock monkey. yeah.
@KarateLady, Tricia, sendingtheclowns, Jodee and Just Andrea: thank you so much! I was lucky with this one (most others have died crumpled on the floor).
@Sharyn: Thank you. I am honored; you inspire all of us!
@zoomom: thank you -- you have a knack for this -- I still laugh when I think of your earlier line, "The Monster flashed...."
some of these are not so bad, specifically the "mad hatter" one... I think customers need to not request fondant cakes from places that are going to use butter cream. Just my opinion though.
Jen VG
Well I just crossed off ever watching "Coraline". That last cake is bound to disturb me for the rest of the evening now lol. Great. Oh well at least I won't be sleeping for a nice long time.
@Barbara Anne: Wow! I'm (redacted) too!
A case of mistaken identity: I'm pretty sure the guy in the first drawing is not Tippy the Turtle but Condorito, a condor who is the main character in a Chilean comic strip. Do you have any condor-themed wrecks?
Has anyone ever been rejected by that art instruction school? I figured they would accept anyone whose check was good.
I saw Coraline. Button eyes haven't been cute since.
@Barbara Anne and Sharyn ~ Me too!!!