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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
May292013

These Cakes Need A DOCTOR

Listen, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I know everything you're about to say. 

It's complicated. And kind of wibbly-wobbly.

Hey, you leave my mother out of this!

Now, look, we haven't got much time; the average internet-using adult's attention span lasts only... DUCK!!

  DON'T BLINK.

Then he'd win the staring contest.

 

Like I was saying, we don't have much... AAAAH WEEPING ANGEL!

Oh. Sorry, Sheila! Thought you were someone else. That's some really fetching pipe strapping and glitter tulle you've got there, though.

 

Anyway, guys, I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry. But it's up to you now.

So... what do you think of this cake?

I mean, it's clearly descending into a temporal rift. Or possibly the Swamps of Sadness. And I'm sure there's some kind of hidden meaning to "police = box." But more importantly: is it bigger on the inside, and if so, can I have a piece the size of a buffalo?

 

Or how about this one?

I've always thought the TARDIS could be a bit softer/squishier, so this groom's cake/ throw-rug is JUST the thing.

 

Brace yourself, for I sense there are dark times ahead for this next one.

Or maybe just for your bowels. 

HeheheheheEW.

 (You'd almost think the color of the photo was off, until you notice the top "light." Da heck?)

 

Anyway, like I said, it's up to YOU to rescue these cakes from a bunch of garden statuary playing Red Light Green Light. It's super easy, though. You just need some fish sticks, an extra bow tie, a Cthulhu mask with a Pokémon ball, a really, really long scarf, and ...

 

TOO LATE!

By The Bunny Baker

 

Thanks to Krista C., Rauha, Marielen, Valorie M., and Mairi R. for the time out. (And yes, that angel cake IS pretty dang awesome. And terrifying. But awesome. But terrifying.)

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Reader Comments (77)

Dafuq is wrong with these bakers

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

The angel just needs to learn to accessorize. How 'bout a fez? Fezzes are cool...

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Sharyn> How about a Stetson? Stetsons are cool now.

*pa-zing!*

Okay, fine River. They aren't cool.

First off....DOCTOR WHO!!!! ;)

Second, the first time I saw "Blink", I was afraid to open my bedroom door in the morning, thinking a Weeping Angel would be waiting for me.

Jen, was there another cake you were going to show? Why are there hashmarks all over my arm?

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

Why, you SLY devils, you! I know what this is! It's a new GAME SHOW concept, to be called "Cake, or Gravestone? YOU be the judge."
I'm seeing Letterman/Obama in the last,er, structure.In a dress.With some seriously flabby upper-arm issues.AND a forked tongue. Quite the package.Nowhere to go but down, from there...(don't let me hold you up).
=^e.e^=

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I really need to watch Dr Who so I can understand what the heck the big deal is about!

I sort of like the rug/Tardis groom's cake, but not for eating. It does look squishy. I want to smack it with something and watch the wave of squishy frosted cake!

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJess T

If I go to a different webpage, but leave this page up on a separate tab, and I'm still looking at the computer all day, is that still kind of like looking at the Weeping Angel all day?

That cake has officially terrified me for the day, and I feel like I need to at least keep it up in the corner of my screen, in case the angel decides to climb out and warp me to a different time...

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDebs

Love Doctor Who. These cakes...not so much. But I'm so good at handwaving through the show, I can handwave my way through a squooshy TARDIS cake, easy!

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMik

The BlogHer pop-up ad on your page today is for Poise Pads. I guess BlogHer knows that these cakes will either make me laugh til I tinkle or be so startled that I have an accident.

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercraftycassie

Sharyn said "The angel just needs to learn to accessorize. How 'bout a fez? Fezzes are cool..."


and a bowtie, bow ties are cool well, I guess she already has a bow, just need to move it up to her chin and it'd be perfect.

The first police box sort of has a light house look to it. Or a small country church /one room school house bell tower, I wonder if someone used a specialty pan and just decided, "hey, it's boxy and has a do hickey on top. I can make this pan multi-purpose"

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Am I the only one wondering why there are so many cakes of police boxes out there?

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMIA

I just discovered Doctor Who, and even in wreck form these references are, like bow ties and fezzes, cool. Even if the Weeping Angel cake would give me nightmares. And the TARDIS sinking in the Swamps of Sadness is sending me into geek overload.

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Way more frightened by the duck than almost anything else on this page...

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

"that which holds the image of an angel becomes itself an angel"

AIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Can't sleep, cake is going to eat me, can't sleep, cake is going to eat me...

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

My timey-wimey detector is going ding! because of all the stuff in these pictures. Beware of exploding hens.

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

If one eats the image of an Angel, wouldn't one become an Angel? (shudder) And would that make the cake taste like gravel?

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

Most awesome cakes ever! It's the fandom that counts, that and how good they taste :)

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

For once I have a lot of sympathy for these bakers - my daughter wanted a tardis cake for her birthday this year, and for a supposedly fairly simple design, it was VERY HARD! However,I'm a rank amateur whereas I'm assuming these people are doing it for a living so perhaps there is no excuse.

Fantastic Weeping Angel cake - as opposed to the weeping angelcake my pre-emptive text tried to make me say, which is a whole different kettle of fish....

When the weeping angel episode was first aired here in the UK, at a school where there were statues outside the playground, the kids organized it so there was always someone watching them during playtime. They took shifts - how adorable is that?

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Me while reading this post: "Doctor Who references! Hehe, those are terrible TARDISes, but I kind of don't care because I'm geeking out too much about the idea of a TARDIS cake. Maybe not so much with that black one, though. AAAAAAAA!"

Now we're all Angels, dammit.

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

There can never be too many police boxes. Dr Who is my all time favorite show, I want to be a companion when I grow up...

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

One of the best episodes ever!!!!!!! But Jen, I thought you said once that you didn't watch modern day Who? Well, glad you've at least seen a few of the important ones. Also glad that the TARDIS cake I made that one time didn't end up on here...


[Note from Jen: I've made a few exceptions, and this episode was one of them. (And I loved it!) I really need a guide telling me which episodes aren't too gut-wreching, so I can just watch those!]

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteramanda*p

Really, I am just glad that no one yet seems to have attempted to repurpose a penis-shaped novelty pan to create a TARDIS cake. (Oops! I just put the idea out there, didn't I?)

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

I am not usually one to blow my own horn, but I made a TARDIS cake a while ago and it was not bad. Far better than these anyway! (If you would like to see, here is my TARDIS cake: my cake)

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

The funny thing about this post (big fan, long time subscriber), is that I was debating on whether or not to see "Blink" before I went to bed last night. I started it, remembered that it was one of the few I had seen before and how much it creeped me the hell out and promptly turned it off. Ha! Great post.

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJahunta

I love that you post things like this, full of references to my most favorite things.

I love that the majority of commenters completely *get it* and add to the experience.

The angel cake is amazing. And creepy. BUt really well done!

As for the TARDIS wrecks, I made a TARDIS cake for my kid's birthday last year, and even though it was far from professional, it was actually better than these. >.<

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKat

I didn't blink through the entire thing! By the time I got to the last umm..Angel...I was crying. I mean, my eyes were watering. Yeah, I got something in my eye, that's it.
Yes, that last one is very well done. Terrifying for sure (pretty sure I'm going to have nightmares for weeks!) but very well executed. o.O

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Once again, excitement over correct spelling = lowered standards... O_o

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

This might be the best wreks you have ever posted. Love it!

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCecily

Wow. I thought that last one was a screen grab from the show at first. Very well done. I'm assuming it was used on a wrecky day to fit the theme (and scare us all). Or maybe the tiny, teeny, itty-bitty detail of a missing apostrophe.

On the DUCK! cake: he can't win if I never looked him in the eyes in the first place. He is too terrifying to look directly at him.

Something has gone horribly wrong with my timeline. The first thing I thought of when I read today's title was the song I Need A Doctor by Dr. Dre/Eminem.

I'm assuming none of these were phone orders. Not one of them says 'Please Box'.

Off to watch the new Doctor Revisited!

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

The angel is one of the scariest cakes
I've ever seen. Don't blink is my favorite
episode. However the other cakes make
me very nervous about the tardis cake
I'm making next week

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAna

I've seen that duck head before...
It was tucked under the blanket at the foot of the bed in a puddle of runny red jelly
at the home of the Godfeather.
The 2nd one looks like Little Richard in a choir robe.
The last (and creepiest) one looks like a gargoyle that was made using David Letterman as a model.Would look nice perched atop a tombstone!
=^e.<^=

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

So who was the baker? Tom or Colin?


[Note from Jen: Bwhahaha! I salute you, sir. Well played.]

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBob

The sight of that duck has just reawakened my anatidaephobia... I'll never sleep again... http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/37729676.jpg

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNereid

Thanks Zoomom, now I feel totally inadequate! Fantastic job on the tardis.

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

"Little Richard in a choir robe"...hilarious!

@zoomom, I just looked at your TARDIS cake and you did a great job! Very cool!

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAuntie Em

I didn't find a magical wardrobe that would take me to Narnia when I was eight, I didn't get my Hogwarts letter when I was eleven...
Doctor, I'm counting on you to take me through time and space when I'm twenty.

That second to last cake looks like it's got enough food coloring to stain my intestines blue, permanently. o_O

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlex K.

@zoomom: YOU made that? You MADE that? You made THAT?

Wow. Absolutely amazing Tardis cake. Horn blowing is most definitely appropriate. Wow.

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Ok, zoomom, either you need to move to Houston or get the Doctor to give you a lift, cuz I need that Tardis cake in a gluten-free, dairy-free, alternative-sweetener format, and I need it on October 3rd for my daughter's 14th birthday. (That would be KarateLady's Daughter here on CakeWrecks.) And she likes chocolate, K?

For my son's birthday on October 10th, he wants Angry Birds & it needs to be in a a gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free, alternative-sweetener format with NO chocolate (allergic to that, too).

Got it? Good. Send me the bill; See you in October! <grin>

PS Your mom's site is cool, too! I'm jealous of you both! :-) (in a good way...)

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!
I'm always so excited when I see someone share my huge addiction, I mean fascination with Doctor Who!

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterleannwoo

Blimey, these are very very not good. I'd sooner eat a pear than one of those.

Oh, all right, I lied. I do that sometimes. I try not to worry about it too much, though - part of my problem-free philosophy - no, sorry, that's 'The Lion King.' But the point remains: any of those cakes would be the wrong ones to burst out of - again. So, I'm not going to do that. I'm going grab a jumper for the girl in the bikini and then basically run to unlock the cupboard with my sonic screwdriver so I can get a Jammie Dodger with which to blow up the third, fourth, and fifth cake. Meanwhile, I'll work on solving the Skasis paradigm so I can send the other ones out into the Void with some choice words by William Shakespeare. Then everybody will live, and I'll be able to dance again - might even wear out my trainers, but I hope not, because trainers are cool. But here I am rambling on again, which is rude. That's me, rude and still not ginger. And here I go again. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Anyway, I'll be winding up soon, but not before typing a series of strange noises on my keyboard, which will go something along the lines of 'Bingle, bongle, dingle, dangle, yikitty doo, yikitty da, ping pong lippy tappy too ta.'

Allons-y!

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterA.Nonny Mous

My 11 year old daughter wants to be a weeping angel this Halloween or next. It's that or Nyan Cat this year. I can hardly wait to show her the cake.

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Here's an awesome song about the TARDIS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hr0ZFm-cdps

(editor's note: the lyrics are a bit bawdy - not for kiddies.)

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

It took me a moment to figure out that the duck cake WASN'T a pinata! Unless it's supposed to look like a duck pinata, not necessarily a duck, in which case, good job! Is it full of candy?

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

Instead of a cake, why not fish fingers and custard?

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHanna M.

That Weeping Angel is terrifying. But! Wow, I just checked out the baker's FB page, and I am a huge fan already. The first one I saw was Miss Forcible, then down the page was Serenity (shiny!)

The TARDISes (TARDIS-ii?) are just awful. Seriously, there are some things that are just sacred and should not be attempted by anyone "Who" cannot pull them off expertly.

Allons-y!

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCaz

I've seen maybe two episodes of Dr. Who in my adult life. I'm glad the Weeping Angel episode was one of them, because I'd be horribly culturally deprived if I didn't get this.

My granddaughter wanted a Dr. Who theme for her 6th birthday. She ended up with Diary of a Wimpy Kid. I guess there aren't good Dr. Who kid-party decorations available. Someone needs to take care of that before next April when she turns 7.

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermouse

I have that duck cake pan...my middlest loves ducks, which is common knowledge to anyone who knows my family. A college friend found it and shipped it to me after meeting my kids. My first attempt didn't look that nice, though. Close, but not quite.

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAuntie J

Horrible piping skills aside, to be fair, that Wilton Rubber Duck 3D cake pan really sucks! Seriously. Not joking. At All.

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSue

I recently had my bakery make a TARDIS cake for my son's 15th birthday, and was very anxious about the result. I thought, the worst that could happen is I'd submit it here to Jen. But it came out fabulously. Choose your baker wisely folks! https://plus.google.com/u/0/photos/115548011833208853135/albums/posts/5883492233876884754?pid=5883492233876884754&oid=115548011833208853135

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJen

@MIA: No, you're not the only one wondering. Count me in.

@zoomom: Afterviewing your cake, I can see the intent of it -- and the skill that made it so! No so much with these here.

The first and last ones were well done, in spite of their terrifying creepiness. If I had a rubber duckie at my bathtub, I'd be chopping it to bits right now. (shudder)

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

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