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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Mar262013

GRUMPY BUNS

 Inspired by the adorable, all-encompassing hatred of Grumpy Cat, I give you ... GRUMPY BUNS!!

I ate a carrot once. IT WAS TERRIBLE.

 

 

Hopping irritates my sciatica.  

 

There are kids there?

NO.

 

I hate jelly beans.

 

Tell me again about the worst day of your life.

I like that story.

 

 

Oh, your Easter cake is a wreck? 

GOOD.

 

Some people don't like white chocolate. 
I hate those people.
And white chocolate.

 

You all look so happy.

STOP THAT.

 

Thanks to Alicia F., Jen O., Candice C., Anony M., Lysa, Karen S. (who actually made that cookie, but it was too fun not to share), Lisa B., Aviva, and of course, Grumpy Cat herself:

 

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Reader Comments (41)

Grumpy anaphase
results in diploid desserts.
Easter mitosis.

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

There is a WHOLE LOT going wrong with that third cake. Are those 2 black... eggs? Under his pink... nose? And is that second pink thing supposed to be his... tongue? And the orange things with blue spots - are those... eggs? feet? carrots? And what exactly does the writing say??? Oh, WAY TOO MANY questions going on here!!!

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlysafulb

Cakes should be happy, not mean :(( Haiku Joy bahahaha

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

These remind me of the touching sequel to "The Velveteen Rabbit:"

“What is WRECKED?" asked the Fondant Rabbit one day, "Does it mean having hydrogenated oil inside you and CCCs all around you?"
"Wrecked isn't how you are made," said the Edible Paper Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a decorator has been working for a long, long time and hates her job, REALLY hates her job, then you become Wrecked."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Edible Paper Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Wrecked, you can’t avoid the pain."
"Does it happen all at once, like being being dropped on the floor after you’re taken from the oven," the Fondant Rabbit asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Edible Paper Horse. "You become. Sometimest takes a long time. Sometimes it happens because the decorator is rushing or because they’re just plain stupid. That's why it doesn't often happen to cakes that are made by skilled craftspeople, or in fine bake shoppes, or who cost over five hundred dollars.”


It always makes me weepy.

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Sung to "Here Comes Peter Cottontail"

Here comes Mr. Grumpy Buns
Carrots ruin his Easter fun
Hippity, hoppity
Sciatica today

Glaring at the girls and boys
Jelly beans don't bring him joy
Wants to hear about
Your saddest day

He'll give Cake Wrecks to your Mommy
And he hates your sister, Sue
He'll glare at your brother, Tommy
'Til HE hates white chocolate, too

Here comes Mr. Grumpy Buns
Sucking out the Easter fun
This grumpy lagomorph
Ruins your Easter Day!

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Oh, I amost forgot:

Those are some grumpy rodents!!

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

#3 will haunt me.

And grumpy cat makes everything better.

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMimiheart

Wow. You know a cake is bad when I ( a nondecorator) look at them and think "wow, I could have done better than THAT." And that applies to most of these in this post.

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterakathleen

I'd eat that 5th cake. It looks like the baker cut off a candy bar for the ears. Chocolate, jelly beans, licorice, and cake? Sugar high, here I come.

All these cakes are unfortunate (not counting the cookie, because that was deliberate)(and spot on), but that poor, poor third cake. It's got some sickness that's spreading. You can see how the black food coloring is slowly overtaking nearby cupcakes. Plus, it's a CCC (ptooie!).

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterteabunny

That was awesome! I love Cake Wrecks and I love Tardar Sauce. Put them together, Cake Sauce? Wait, what?

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

What is that third bunny wearing on his crotch? Is that a- no, no never mind this is a family friendly site. NO. I will ask why it also looks like his underwear has studs? Or is he wearing reverse chaps? Never mind. I have wasted enough brain power on this.

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHolly Folly

"Cake" #3: Is it just me, or does that cake also have angry ..... uh..... genitals?
"Cake" #7: Does that picture show the whole cake? 'Cause if that's a reflection, then it doesn't match what is happening above. Weird illusion
"Cake" #8: Also appears to have a.... uh ...... wandering genital.
Ug.
@Sharyn - well done!

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Sharyn heehee

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

What shops will package
And sell to gullible fools
Always upsets me

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

#3 wreck is just so wrong on so many levels. I am NOT going to say the first thing that came to my mind...nope, I'm just not!
@Sharyn ~ 30 minutes??? Outstanding!!! (and I'll be humming that all day now. Thanks for that o.O)
@SuBee~ That brought a tear to my eye <3

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

I think Colonel Meow snuck in there too!

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSpaceHaze

Some people may find comfort in knowing that I'm pretty sure the orange blob at the bottom of the third cake is supposed to be a bow tie. But then, the decorator apparently thought pink ears on a white rabbit were a good idea, too.

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

I'm going to have terrible, terrible dreams about that third one. Terrible, terrible dreams. I don't even know what that second word is supposed to say; but whatever it is, it is definitely not at all going to be happy with such a cake as that one. THE WHITES OF HIS EYES ARE GRAY, FOR FRIG'S SAKE. And I'm going to hope fervently that the round thing between what I hope are feet--that rather disconcerting orange and blue polka-dotted bit--is, like, a tail or something and that hideous creature is just really flexible. I am hoping so hard here.

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChartreuse

If there were an entire holiday devoted to my bringing baskets full of candy to people so that they could eat chocolate statues of me, I'd be bitter, too.

The orange thing on the third cake is a
supposed to be a bow tie. There is no
explanation for what they did to it though.

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAna

The second one isn't actually a grumpy bunny. It's a Chthonian Bunny. (Which, I guess, might make it grumpy as well). Never mind.

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Just FYI: the whole "I had fun once. It was terrible." is a Kate Beaton joke that was totes ripped off to go with the whole Grumpy Cat meme. It is really a lot funnier in the original context :\

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterReepicheep-chan

Cake 3: Happy egnslgy???? Is that supposed to say Easter?

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

Is it just me or is anyone else seeing two mutant heads on bunnies #1 and #2?

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

These all look like they came out of Donnie Darko. That movie was more uplifting than these cakes.

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaxmom

Thanks for bringing Grumpy Cat in to remark on these cakes. A day with Tardar Sauce and Cake Wrecks really brightens my mood!

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWendywwkc

http://www.disapprovingrabbits.com/
The Disapproving Rabbits pre-date grumpy cat.

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArtemis

Cue Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries", which everyone knows is really called, "Kill The Wabbit".

#1 Does anyone else see Rip Taylor here? I grant that it isn't surrounded by confetti, but...I guess you had to be there.

#3 Wreckerator: "Oooooo! I hate that rabbit!"
Boss: "Duly noted, Sam. Unless you also hate employment, this is what you're making. I suggest you hop to it."
Wreckerator (later, to customer): "Like it? This was inspired by my boss."

#4 "You wanna piece of me?! Huh?!"

#5 (Cart wrangler, succumbing to temptation after improbably competent baker leaves for the day): "I could SO do this! How hard could it be? Let's see..."

#6 Theardare, I know Jen decides what appears on here, and if it's ok with her, it's.... But isn't there some sort of unwritten rule? I'm sure I read it somewhere. [starts searching archives] What? How could I have read an unwritten rule? Okay...I'd rather concede a point of logic to a cat than listen to twelve hours of "Here Comes Peter Cottontail." Oy.

#7 "You will buy me. You will buy me now. That's it...my will is yours."

#8 "Well, doc, it was Good Friday, almost closing time. I was out of frosting, out of time, and especially out of patience. Doc...? Doc! I love those tennis shoes, but we simply must do something with that hair! Step right this way..."

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

FYI - Grumpy cat has a genetic anomoly - similar to trisomy 21 or "Down Syndrome." Her owners named her "Tard" & only changed it to "Tardar Sauce" because of the outcry.

If you've watched her videos, you may have noticed that she has physical problems and can't walk well. Personally, I think it's sad that her owners are holding her up to ridicule.

Other than that... LOVE CW.

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterP.U.

Ugh...I am so sick of seeing grumpy cat everywhere. Grumpy Buns were cute though (for now...lol)

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

I used to think I had a good imagination. But that third one, the CCC . . . seeing that as a "bunny" defies all the imaginative skills I possess. What fuzzy black substance did they use? Why are the eyes and the, um, nose thingies both that black fuzzy stuff? Bow tie? Why . . . oh, never mind. I give up.

@SuBee: BRILLIANT. Now I'm hoping for a CW version of "The Steadfast Tin Soldier."

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Ironically, the cookie labeled Cake Wreck is the most appetizing one of the bunch.

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

Cake #3: Definitely a bunny who wishes he (or she) were Madonna.

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChris

Nooooooooo, SuBee, NOT the Velveteen Rabbit. (sobs)

actually, it was all kinds of awesome.

March 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

@Chris ~ I probably found that way funnier then I should have but I can't stop giggling. Which totally isn't helping my cough o.O

March 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

@Craig: The cookie is a lie.

March 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

That cake #2: It's afraid! It's afraid!!

March 27, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermistaque

grumpy buns - grumpy cat + disapproving rabbits = :-D

March 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

At last! I looked through all the comments and finally found the last post was aware of the mysteries that are "disapproving rabbits" (not grumpy; that barely scratches the surface of their displeasure). They definitely would not approve of these cakes!

March 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTracey

Cake number 3 is definitely the (dark) star of the show.

I think it reads, "Happy Equity", though I'm not sure what to make of that.

As for the bow tie, it's edifying to google "sheela na gig"...

Thanks for assembling such a, er, ah... collection.

March 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterrubyred

They all look like they've got heart burn or something.

April 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Saxon

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