With Apologies to Julie Andrews
February 15, 2013 ♫ Bulbous-nosed witches who probably eat kittens
;)
Messages piped out that should be rewritten
;)
(Supposed to read "Congratulations Wojtek From Thunder Road")
Cakes decorated with smeared silly string
;)
Bakers make some of the wreckiest things!
Is that a tongue sticking out of that poodle?
;)
Were they attempting to make ersatz noodles?
;)
"Congradulations" with Doritos rings
;)
Bakers make some of the wreckiest things!
Plumber's jeans that don't quite cover their "assets"
;)
Creepy-faced smiley with too-thick eyelashes
;)
Harry and Gollum and wands holding rings
;)
Bakers make some of the wreckiest things!
Though these dogs might
;)
Though these cakes are bad!
I simply remember these wreckiest things
;)
And then I just can't
Feel sad! ♪
BIG thanks to Katie G., Victoria L., J.R., Vanessa M., Lisa H., Pete Z., Andrea G., Darla H., Becca T., Rachel L., and J.C. You know you're my favorites, right?
Reader Comments (53)
Frow-o-o-o Phunder Road, Frow Phunder Road, Frow Phunder Road.
Lyin’ out there like dead poodles in the sun.
That nosey witch, we’ll escape it if we run.
Frow o-o-o Phunder Road.
Butt crack, big lash Phunder Road!
ummm... that first one kinda belongs in the unintentionally creepy erotic bakery. maybe?
Frow-o-o-o Phunder Road, Frow Phunder Road, Frow Phunder Road.
Lyin’ out there like dead poodles in the sun.
That nosey witch, we’ll escape it if we run.
Frow o-o-o Phunder Road.
Butt crack, big lash Phunder Road!
Thanks for the morning giggle Jen - I know what will be stuck in my head all day now...
This made me laugh so hard that I'm crying at my desk. Thank the CakeGods that I work in public radio where this sort of humor is not lost on my coworkers.
Ok, I've been lurking for ages here, love the blog, and I just HAD to say this:
Come ON. You get "wojtek" right and manage to mispell everyth else? Seriously?!?!
Spelling's never important
Nor jeans that fit right
Is that a canine toupee?
Shouldn't your apologies go to Rodgers and Hammerstein, since they actually wrote the song? Although, neither of them are alive, so I'm not sure they'd actually care....
@SaraV - WOW! I was thinking "Nice one, Haiku J..." And then I saw your name! I hereby put forth the motion that you are now the official stunt double of Haiku Joy. Or her understudy. Or both.
Any seconds on this motion?!
My daughter looked at these with me and exclaimed, "That's one big butt cake!"
Bahahahahahahaha
I second sara v for Haiku joy' s understudy :D
suebee, your computer get the hiccups :P
Seriously? "Wojtek" is the only thing he spelled right?
... .. ... (blinkblink)... At least the "plumber's crack" cake is well-made... (And probably intentional)...
Haiku challenge is
Now the order of the day
These wrecks are worth it.
Excellent post & parody, Sharyn!!! Now, where's the rest of the troops? Hmm... I see SuBee has made a superb contribution today - is it too early to celebrate with a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster? :-)
#1 - Looks like the old "kitchen witch" that my mom had in the kitchen to ward off burned food & other cooking mishaps. (This one is obviously defective...)
#4 looks more like a cat than a dog to me because of the triangular ears. Perhaps it's supposed to be a Persian cat in serious need of some personal grooming.
#5 reminds me of when I forget to pull my gluten-free noodles out of the pot on time... (Tinkyada is the *best!*)
#8 - looks like a piratety cupcake...without the eye patch & the hat. Perhaps it's one of those Pirates that Don't Do Anything...
#10 looks like the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, Mutant Maltese division...
@David and wordphreak: No, the baker got it right. It's all in ancient Slavic don't you see? It just doesn't translate to the Latin alphabet well.
Also, that Harry and Gollum cake is really . . . epic! i think whoever made it had a fabulous sense of humor (at least they've got that going for them . . .)
@David from Brazil & wordphreak: Maybe that decorator is Polish. But more likely, the customer was very careful in spelling it out over the phone.
Sharyn is the best. I really do think some of her contributions need to go in the next CW collection book! She is just brilliant.
I usually find your humor site amusing, but today I’m not finding these cakes funny…Though not Russian, I am aware of the existence of Russia. You ARE aware that Russia is being pummeled by flaming balls of fire from space, aren’t you? I feel you need to be made aware of my displeasure at your efforts to bring other people pleasure when I’m feeling displeased.
No really. FLAMING BALLS OF FIRE FROM SPACE!!!
I'm sorry that other thing posted twice. Now you can see how truly upset I am.
I'm sorry that other thing posted twice. Now you can see how truly upset I am.
I don't know... what kind of poem is 7-6-7? ;)
Is... that supposed to be udon with strawberry fruit spread?
Congratulations... who? The first letter looks like a regular Q, but cursive Qs generally look like 2s, don't they? But then, Os have the little loop at the top...
I am a fan of the word 'wreckiest', especially sung to this tune.
@David from Brazil: That's not fair. They also got "Road" correct. ; - )
@JD: I don't know. Looks more like a turkey leg to me.
@Joan: Challenge accepted:
Tapeworms on the cakes
Time to rethink location
Med lab bak-er-y
#10: Is that a large glass of whipped icing with a donut shoved in the middle?
That tapeworm CCC with congealed blood is just about the most disgusting thing I have ever seen on here, and that is saying alot!
LOL...........Sharyn. :D
The creepy-faced smiley kind of looks like a dog jumping into a pool.
Dear Cake Wrecks:
This is to inform you that the law firm of Tinker, Toys and Tops has been retained by various entities who wish to remain anonymous at this time with the hopes of reaching a not-litigious settlement, and with the hope that you will cease and desist the slanderousness you have perpetuated upon said clients.
To wit:
The Association of Bulbous Nose Witches vehemently denies that any of their members eat kittens. A much perpetuated stereotype, it is time to end this nonsense. They eat only fully mature cats.
The second cake was actually made for another law firm, Frow, Phunder and Road, on the occasion of the promotion of one of their partners, Mr. Wojtek. We find that your mockery is uncalled for (and if uncalled for for thirty days, you may keep it….)
Also, we find that the term “silly string” is pejorative: the correct term would be “humorous string.”
You have clearly missed the joke inherent in the poodle cake. This cake is a visual representation of the results of the old joke, “It’s raining cats and dogs.” “I know, I just stepped in a poodle.” Stepped in a poodle, the tongue comes out…get it? Perhaps Cake Wrecks would benefit from a little more humor in the future.
Kindly note that you have violated the trademark law by your failure to not only capitalize but also to use the copyright symbol when referring to Ersatz Noodles. These noodles have been proudly made with no natural ingredients for years and are a common stable in homes of people with natural food allergies. (And, on a side note, I’m surprised you didn’t make a saucy note about the gravy.)
Next, “congradulations” a frequent phrase used in some sects of witchcraft, is always made with Doritos rings; just check Wiccapedia.
As for plumber’s jeans, well, plumbers are tired of being the butt of these jokes; they fail to crack them up. Please put an end to these kinds of remarks.
And…you’ve never seen a Goth smiley face?
The “wands holding rings,” as you put it, is actually a celebration of quoits. The “Epic Journey” refers to the team of Harry and Gollum’s travels in winning the annual tournament. It was “quoit” a victory, if I may say so!
And to suggest that the dogs are non-cake really frosts us. These are carefully crafted cakes representing famous dogs of the movies. I would have thought you would have noticed the hint on the tag visible to the left: Old Yeller.
And finally, I don’t see why you included the last cake. It clearly is a little joke sent from one female Mardi Gras participant to another, chiding her for not accumulating as many beads as the sender. While the second “B” is a little misshapen, it is clear as to what it means for the cake’s recipient: she flashed her “chest” less.
In conclusion, I hope you will take these points as intended, and we can avoid future litigation.
Sincerely,
Mr. Potato, Head Counsel
Tinker, Toys and Tops
SuBee I'm hearing the tune to Portobello Road to your poem!
ROTFL
And it's mel FTW!!!
@SuBee - {snicker} You're a close 2nd! :-)
Where's B.A. today? Hmmm...perhaps Andrea & I should search for her *now* instead of Haiku Joy *later*...
Friday staff meeting . . .
Haiku Joy escapes torment
six hours later.
Pass the kigo round.
No, the BIG bottle, you hear?
Haiku on the house.
I like the plumber's butt crack cake. As they said in "Steel Magnolias," sometimes you can use a good piece of ass. ;-)
Mel, I want to where Mr. Potato, Head Counsel, went to law school. I want to find more lawyers like this!
KarateLady, I third the motion for SaraV to by Haiku Joy's understudy/stunt double. All those in favor please say "Aye!"
Oh goodness! Sharyn, where in the world do you get all this funny?! :)
@Sharyn ~ I just want to spend one day with you. I'll totally bring chocolate!
@SuBee ~ I was totally ready to jump in and defend Sharyn... until I saw it was you. You're kinda awesome too ;-)
@KarateLady ~ So glad you're back safe and sound.
@mel ~ It was a narrow escape with your football story. I don't think I can run that fast twice!
I have no idea how to even write a haiku so I'll leave that one to the experts :-)
@SuBee- Thunder Road used to be my favorite song. No more.
@SaraV- You've got my vote!
Is "Congratulationes" Spanish?
CLAP.............CLAP.............CLAP........CLAP.....CLAP
Mel, you have done it again. I wish creativity was contagious!
#1 Yes, it's Jimmy Durante playing Harpo Marx, playing the Wicked Witch of the West in what is likely the most pointless Wizard of Oz remake of all time. (For me, all of those references came from TV, 'K?)
#2 Nice rendering of that fragrant scene in 'Cars' where Lightning McQueen sideswipes a pile of poo. As for the message, I'm thinking in-jokes. Come on, three of four words misspelled? And they got the name right, I presume.
#4 Isn't that collar just a tad tight?
#5 Gray patches? The rest is bad enough, but...gray? And it's a CCC, besides. That's a double patooie!
#6 Not quite sure where daisies and seaweed would be found together. This might be from the failed prequel to 'Four Weddings and a Funeral': 'A Graduation, an Engagement and a Memorial Service at Sea.' All on the same day.
#8 "I knew shortening buttercreme frosting to 'butter' on the order form was a mistake!"
#9 Instead of simply pasting the images on the cake, they made DIY flotsam! That deserves some sort of award, in my book. Ok, I don't really have a book; I'd have to promote it, which sounds like a royal pain. Besides, I would get in all kinds of trouble with Jen & John, and I really don't want to go there. "That statue of a seven-foot-tall wrestler in a steampunk costume is so life-like -- how did you make the eyes move?"
#10 Why is the one on the right wearing a toupee? Also, I suspect, based on the container located behind, that we're not dealing with conventional frosting here, but rather 'bettercreme'. I'd sooner eat the display case.
Wow! LOL! Just red thru the comments (Spelling errors intended)....
The Haiku's get high 5's, I was never very good at that poetry thing.
Mel, your lamb blasting letter was fabulous! (again, spelling errors intended).....
I really enjoy the time I spend looking at the cakes, reading the notes explaining them (sometimes I can't quite figure out what I am looking at until I read the explanations), and finally reading the comments...
Thank you for making my day!
That poodle looks like Hitler. And I think he needs a monacle.
@mel Seriously awesome letter for Mr Potato. Out of curiosity, how long have you had Wiccapedia in your pocket waiting to be used? :) Well played, sir, well played!
Isn't that "creepy faced smiley" Alex from "A Clockwork Orange"?
I love Julie Andrews! I think this post is one of my new "favourite things"!
Haiku Joy *gigglesnort*
That was one of my favorites wreckies musicals! You should make it into a video! Please, pretty please? :D
Did anyone else totally sing this post in their head?
Anyone who can write a song parody that scans properly, is actually funny AND correctly uses the word ersatz is my hero forever.
Jodee, I will teach you if you like.
@Nyperold - I believe SarahV's is actually 7-5-7 meaning it's a reverse haiku. I *said* so, good enuff for me.
@Haiku Joy - SIX HOURS? AAAAAAAIIIIIIGH! How did you ever survive?!
@Jodee - Thanks! Yep, Craig fixed it on 2-13-12 (or rather, he reported it fixed on that date. Everything - even the statue of Theardare that I knocked over accidentally. And the Bunker Spa is fantastic! :-)
@Craig - {giggle - esp that crack about the worst Wizard of Oz...}
@Capt.Video - careful sir, you're dating yourself! But I think you're right about the resemblance... :-)
This day gets the award for Best Comments Ever!!
@KarateLady, TLC and Kim: Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
@Jodee in WA: Glad you made it safely to the end zone...I was a little worried....
@Shannon: Thank you for the cla....ahhhh...applause....
@ScaperMama: Thank you. Ironically, this morning I had intended to type Wikipedia, but bad hand-eye-brain coordination resulted in Wiccapedia.... Eureka! Sometimes I surprise myself.....
@SuBee: Well done!
@SuBee: Well done!
@Haiku Joy: I am constantly amazed -- and entertained -- by your mastery of the haiku!
@Sharyn: Thank you for another great post...and inspiration! You rock!
I loved this!! Lol man that last cake..whoever received that one probably threw it at someone. But it is nice that the witch on the first cake actually looks like a witch. Scary that.
Monstrosity #5 is truly disgusting. It looks like an upended tub of dead worms with fish guts slopped over the top. I was going to have spaghetti for dinner; not now.