How To Turn A Lazy Sunday Afternoon Into Monday's Post
January 28, 2013 It's Sunday right now where I am, which is to say in the past, since obviously you're reading this in the future, which is to say on Monday. Or maybe even later than Monday, since maybe you only check Cake Wrecks a few times a week, so it could be, like, WEDNESDAY or something right now.
Let me start again.
It's Sunday right now where I am, and John won't get off the Xbox so I can play Epic Mickey 2, so instead I'm sitting here tweeting about how I should be working. Then I realized: hey, if I'm writing, that IS working! Because that's how being a prefessional blogger works: 1) you write, 2) people read, 3) ??, 4) PROFIT.
Of course, at some point I'm going to have to throw in a picture of a funny cake, because I know how you people get if I yammer on too long without pictures of funny cakes. (PRO TIP: All readers enjoy being referred to as "you people.")
Let's see....Oh, ok, here's an idea: I'll just share whatever random thoughts come into my head, and then I'll illustrate them with cake. What could go wrong? {HILARIOUS FORESHADOWING}
Here goes.
I really like the colors cherry red and chocolate brown together. Or maybe I'm just in the mood for cherry chocolate cake. DISCUSS.
;)
Ok, you can stop discussing it now. The mood has officially passed.
I have one of those page-a-day desk calendars on my desk, and it's a week out of date, because I keep forgetting to rip off a page-a-day. I bet this cake is exactly like that, only in reverse:
;)
(Don't over think it. Trust me, I don't.)
While I was getting that cake I found this next one, and I have to say: I am convinced you guys do this to me on purpose, because you KNOW it makes me crazy dizzy:
;)
HOW DID THE CAKE GET STUCK TO THE CEIL - oh.
So...dizzy...brain...cannot...compute.... Seriously, wreckporters, hat tip for getting the shot and all, but is it REALLY so hard to WALK AROUND THE TABLE and take the picture from there? Is it? I bet even Aggie #4 would know to do that!
And since I've started some kind of number theme here, check out what Meg W. found on a school website:
Ah, our future generations are in good hands. WHAT A RELIEF.
But enough about Meg and our future. Let's get back to me, and how John is still - STILL - on the Xbox.
;)
I have a special place in my heart for bakers who make sculpted grooms' cakes of things they not only have never seen, but also don't even care enough about to find any kind of reference photo. "Oh, it's a box? Called the 'Xbox 360 Live'? And this is the game it plays? GOT IT."
(One might wonder why the controller almost looks like a controller, but that would mean one was over-thinking it. STOP THAT, ONE.)
Honestly, I'm not sure why I even WANT to play Epic Mickey 2 anymore. I mean, don't get me wrong; it has the advantage over the first game in that you can actually, you know, move. (TRUE FACT: Epic Mickey 1 didn't need enemies; you just fought the controls the whole time. [Oh snap!]) But the game is just not good. And yet I keep playing, because the concept is so cool that it has to GET good at some point, right? [INSERT OBSERVATION ON LIFE HERE]
(If you haven't heard of it, Epic Mickey uses a post-apocalyptic Disney World kind of setting, and all the characters are creepy and broken and deformed and man this is just too easy:
;)
"Ooh HOO! Keep running around doing confusing, repetitive tasks in giant trash heaps while Cary Elwes narrates the massively overly-complicated plot lines, ok? Ha-yuck!"
Yep, it's just not good, I'm telling you. It's frustrating and uneven and bewildering and...what's that? John's taking a break for lunch? YAY I GET TO PLAY EPIC MICKEY 2 SOME MORE!!
Thanks to Megan W., Vivian G., Jamis, Meg W., Jill F., & Jenna S. for understanding that sometimes you just have to have a one-sided relationship with a video game.
Reader Comments (59)
Sung to “Manic Monday”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFPZzmfu6j4
(This is one of the ones that works well played in the background)
Nine o’clock already
Jen was just in the middle of a dream
She was flipping through cake pictures
When the cherry vomit made her scream
That can’t be the date
Rapunzel’s on the ceiling, I’m afraid
Aggie’s gonna learn to take cake pictures in the 6st Grade
It’s just another Cake Wrecks Monday
It started on Sunday
That’s Jen’s fun day
Share Xbox with her hon day
It’s Epic Mickey Cake Wrecks Monday
Wait, Epic Mickey is narrated by Cary Elwes? If I hadn't bought it for my 7 year old for Christmas, I would be debating whether to battle the bad road conditions to go get it.
That first one has to be the least realistic spaghetti cake I've ever seen. I mean, you can see the side of the cake underneath the spaghetti. Though chocolate covered cherries on top of a cake sounds pretty awesome (which is what I saw first).
And you don't suppose the cookie cake is leftover from 2001, do you?
Cherry chocolate cake,
gift from the innermost self,
with "plop" sound effects.
The ABXY buttons on the XBox controller are the wrong color... blasphemy! :)
I love the Lego games...was playing Lego Harry Potter last night and my laptop overheated and shut off (nooooooo)....got any Lego cake wrecks? :)
[Note from Jen: DO I?! Oh, I feel a special LEGO post coming on...]
20013 is a zip code near the White House in DC. Maybe a secret spy code
OH. OH MY. Well, at least we can all agree that I'm the 4st commenter, unless we graduated out of state. :D
@Sharyn and HaikuJoy -- awesome as always!
Jen -- you are a kooky nut. That's why I am addicted to CakeWrecks (AND Epbot!)
My four year old came and looked over my shoulder as I scrolled past the last picture and asked "what is that?" I told him I didn't know and he responded with "It looks like a dog, maybe"
Raise your hand if you "sang" the piano parts in the verse of Sharyn's song, pausing before reading the next line?
Keep 'em raised if you also "sang" the "Whoa-ooo-whoas" in the chorus?
1st-Jen,you can yammer on without the pictures. The stuff floating around in your brain is funny enough on it's own.
2st-Thank you, Muria. I had no idea that the 1rd cake was supposed to represent spaghetti and meatballs. The least realistic spaghetti cake is so much better than the many realistic ideas that popped into my head,
3st. I'm gonna get me some of them free math worksheets and when they got free grammar worksheets I'm gonna get those, two.
4st-Have a good week!
I actually loved Epic Mickey 1 even though the controls were pretty wonky. I've played it though 4 or 5 times. Epic Mickey 2 made me SO MAD though!!! There's all this stuff to do, but you don't really do it in a linear fashion, so it's hard to keep track of what you're doing. Then all of a sudden the credits roll and the game just ends. Wait, what...!?! I was so confused. I had tons of tasks I hadn't completed. Oh, but then it let's you keep playing, but what's the point if I've already completed the final battle. OK, sorry to rant about Epic Mickey here. I know this should be about bad cakes, which are a real highlight of my days, BTW. But since you brought up Epick Mickey, I just had to vent. I bought it the day it came out, played it for less than a week until I suddenly came to the end, and then quit. I hope to someday get to a point where I calm down about it long enough to play it again, but I'm not there yet. I've read some interesting things online about how badly Disney screwed up EM2. It's just such a shame, because it's such an awesome concept, it just doesn't seem like they can manage to execute it properly. OK, I'm done. Good luck playing it!
I was saddened to only hear bad things about Epic Mickey 2. I mostly enjoyed the first one, and was looking forward to multiplayer. Unfortunately reviews say that the multiplayer leaves something to be desired; sounds like they could have done a lot more with it, and Oswald comes off as a lame sidekick. Oh well.
Viewing this on my iPad made me crazy! I wanted to see that on-the-ceiling cake the other way up but you know what happens when you rotate the iPad; the picture rotates too. I had to put it down and walk around it to see that cake in a way that didn't make my head feel weird. So much work! I think I need another coffee now...
The 20013 one reminds me of something that happened to a forum I don't often go to unless I'm directed there. Basically, the timestamping wasn't prepared for Y2K, so when that rolled around, it displayed "19100".
I don't remember when I learned ordinals, but I imagine I got it by the thirst grade.
Well, it does look like a controller. And they got the X and A buttons in the right places. Too bad they swapped the B and Y.
I thought the vocal work in Epic Mickey boiled down to "vocal noises that aren't actually words", but I could be misremembering.
Oh, Jen... what - ah, what's the word I'm looking for - "good" cheer you spread. Lovely morning :)
The first one is a FSM cake!
http://www.venganza.org/
@zoomom - I just spent 20 seconds picturing you trying to outwit your iPad. Those were a marvelous 20 seconds.
I LOVED the first Epic Mickey! I actually played through it a total of SIX times to get all of the pins/reels/etc. The controls were weird but after a few hours of game play they were master-able. I haven't played the second one yet...Mainly because I'm afraid of getting addicted again.
I don't know what's worse, the gag inducing "cherries n chocolate" cake or vertigo inducing "cake on the ceiling". I must go lie down in a dark room now.
I want the "2st" through "6st" grade worksheets. At least they spelled "Algebra", "Geometry", and "Multiplication" correctly... O_O
I don't see how playing EM on anything other than a Wii could be anything but frustrating. That said, I loved EM1 but EM2 has been a bit of a letdown. Hey game makers - I know two players on one screen in different locations can be tricky, but DO NOT DO VERTICAL SPLITSCREEN for multiplayer! I really hate that - it feels really claustrophobic. Horizontal is better. And the LEGO games really do it best with a single screen when you're close with a changing slplit as you get farther apart.
I get the feeling that different individual bakers made the "XBOX" and the controller. The one making the controller had seen one lying around that belonged to her son but never paid much attention. The one making the XBOX didn't even have that much reference!
Perhaps I need more coffee, perhaps less. Perhaps I need more fiber in my diet. The first cake reminded me of hemorrhoids. And the last, Michael Jackson. I really must get a life.........
@Haiku Joy
Gift from innermost self, indeed. That is one gift not fit to re-gift.
So the Rapunzel(?) cake I downloaded the picture and rotated it to see it the "right" way. DONT DO IT!!!! It actually looks better upside down!
So disappointed with Epic Mickey 2, pre-ordered it and everything. I was really hoping it would be cool to play with my hubby, since I totally hogged the Wii playing EP1. :( Oh well. Lego Lord of the Rings on xBox has my interest now. Oh, and Cake Wrecks of course.
On Aggie #4's (Is she related to Johnny #5?): Am I the only one who saw an inverted cake? Like if someone took a cake pan, *inserted it into the table* and then frosted the inside? Just me? Alrightythen. Carry on.
@zoomom: There is a way to lock the photo so it doesn't rotate, but don't ask me how. I don't actually own one. I'm sure there will be someone else more knowledgeable (or 50) that will also answer your question. I'll head to the bunker now, just in case, to monitor the Epcot status of the iPad photo-locking capability comments. I'll bring some cherry cordials. Mmmm.
When I scan pages on the single-page-at-a-time scanner at work and save them as a multipage pdf, the dialog box that appears at the end of each page scan tells me I have successfully scanned the 1th, then 2th, and then 3th page. It stops being funny at three, though. If only it would switch to 4st.
I'm pretty sure I haven't had enough coffee to get through these wrecks That first one is supposed to be spaghetti o.O Are you sure??? @Haiku Joy that one actually made me gag! Awesomely executed!
@Sharyn ! I totally didn't need the background music because like @SaraV [hand raised!] I sang the whole thing --- even the whoa ooo whoa's
Thanks john (thoJ) for giving Jen an excuse to give us a little glimpse into how her mind works. :)
Please tell me someone else read that as "Epic Monkey" through the entire thing. (Until finally, at the end of Sharyn's song, I noticed it was "Mickey." Then I had to scroll back through the entire post to see if I had just been seeing things. I was. -- sigh --) So sad it didn't even hit me as I was LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF MICKEY (although that's up for debate).
Okay, yes, the first one looks like someone was extremely constipated, but suddenly had to go so urgently that he or she didn't have time to lift the lid and pooped all over the lovely shag toilet seat. The person passed some really hard poops and the ripping and straining resulted in anal hemorrhaging. In spite of this lovely imagery, I am jonesing for chocolate so bad right now that I would totally eat that!
You can already order 20013 New Year's Eve cakes? I like that! Stock up before the price goes up. Makes me want to party like it's 19999!
AHHHHHahahahaha!! OMG! Gail Carriger just tweeted a link to a tentacled crop circle that *I* thought looked like the Flying Spaghetti Monster bestowing blessings of meatballs. AND I WAS RIGHT! Though, I think I cannot be a Pastafarian anymore, after seeing that "blessing." (Tentacled crop circle)
I'm only posting this because the Epcot avalanche has not yet started, and I thought it would be fun to throw the 1rd pebble (or snowball, depending on where you live).
@zoomom - On the side of the ipad, right by the volume controls, is a switch that locks the rotation. This comes in handy when you want to view Cakewrecks upside down or you want to lie in bed and stream "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" from Netflix without it flipping the screen every time you adjust your pillow.
Meet you in the bunker Andrea! I'll bring the ipad.
I had no idea that was supposed to be spaghetti. Thanks for the clarification. Now that everything is being zombified, is that what happened to Rapunzel? I don't trust those eyes... Thank you, Sharyn - I now will have manic Monday doing a mobius strip in my head all day...which incidentally makes me think of Lewis Black every time.
@SaraV *rasing both hands*
@Sharyn - loved it! "Manic" is a great way to describe many of these wrecks. I hope you won't mind if I post a little musical selection that pooped, er, I mean, popped into my mind…
To the Tune of My Favorite Things
Polyps on pastries and ordinals tricky
Anti-grav Aggie and Dilbert's boss Mickey
Time-traveling cookies with bright flotsam bling
These are a few of the wreckiest things
When Jon hogs game
When EM2 fails
When I'm feeling sad
I simply gawk at the wreckiest things
And then I don't feeeeeeeel so bad!
Did anyone else read the math sheet names out loud to themselves?
First, Seconst, Thirst, Forst, Fist, Sixst - I would like the forst one?!?
I always wonder about cakes like the 20013 - do people buy that sort of thing? Do the bakers ever figure it out? Is that too much to ask?!?
We, too, play EP1 on the Wii, so didn't have control problems - just hogging of the game problems, so we were excited that EP2 would be multi-player. Boy, that split screen is horrible! I agree with Eddie in that the Lego split screen is much better. That being said, we bought the ginormous EP2 guidebook so that we wouldn't miss anything, even it is confusing with different ways to accomplish things and how different choices lead you down different paths. Not nearly as addicting as EP1. We still like to play though.
@DB: I've had that song stuck in my head all day, and then you parodied it -- how weird is that? Nice job with the parody, too -- any time you can work "polyp" into a Julie Andrews song is a win!
@Haiku Joy: It takes real skill to get that kind of imagery into 17 syllables. Bravo!
Everyone: I also missed that was spaghetti cake -- I was going more for amebic dysentery
@Wendy" FSM for the win!
I love that there was a South Park reference....even if it was unintentional.
1. steal underwear
2. ???
3. Big Business
Alright, I now know how to lock rotation on my iPad! Thanks Tricia and Andrea. Now would someone like to come visit me in spring when daylight savings time begins and set the time on the clock in my car?
Glad I could provide a few moments of amusement Haiku Joy. :) Next you can picture me walking around in wrinkled clothing because instead of hanging up my clean laundry I've been playing with locking/unlocking my screen. Why, yes, I am easily entertained!
Is that first one supposed to be sphaghetti and meat bahalls????cause it looks like a used-tampon cake *GAG*
Apparently the person who created the math worksheets webpage is NOT smarter than a fifst grader!! :)
@Darcy - I saw it too! I also think the column ended with ".. that sometimes you just have a love/hate relationship with a video game..." or something like that - not a "one-sided relationship". Methinks there was some post-Post editing...
@Sharyn - I had the melody goin' in my head the whole time! Love that video...
@HaikuJoy - priceless, as always!
@zoomom, Andrea & Tricia - thanks for the tip! It drives me crazy sometimes! Not even my tech hubby knew this trick - SCORE!!! :-)
@TrekkieGal - <grin> <snicker>
The 1th pic is just so funny - such an amateurish attempt to make a cake-y version of spaghetti and meatballs! It wouldn't be so bad if it was just a friend trying to help you out, but to PAY for something so cartoonish?! (Course, could say that about the Xbox cake, too...)
That 4rd pic makes me glad I is a homeschooler mummy. Though my daughter's spelling isn't the greatest - at least I know I tried EVERYTHING! (Yes, even "real" school once. But there was a bully. We left. 'Nuff said.)
Well done @DB I started singing it before I realized that's the tune you were using. Apparently I read to fast and skipped over the line just above where you actually SAID "To the tune of..."
Yep, need more coffee.
Where the heck is @Craig?
And really it's not as tight a poem as it should be. Here is a draft I prefer.
Cherry chocolate cake:
gift from the innermost self.
Ploppity, plop-plop.
It's a good thing I already don't have an appetite.
@Tricia: Alas, Epcot not achieved. Looks like a party of two to play with your ipad and eat cherry cordials. I'm okay with that. More chocolate for us!
@KarateLady: Sorry I missed your birthday party. I was totally going to bring my collection of Bruce Lee movies so we could compare and contrast to Jackie Chan's movies, but I had to get some actual work done. : (
@KarateLady- No way! You are a homeschooler too?! I wonder just how much we have in common.
True story-
I was reading this post while my almost-three-year-old looked over my shoulder. We get to the Mickey cake and he shouts out "It's a monkey!:
I never played Epic Mickey 1, so when I tried out Epic Mickey 2, I was all like "What's Wasteland? Who's Oswald? Why is there an evil scientist singing and dancing in the middle of an earthquake? AUGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Good thing I'm such a Disney geek, or I never would have known who the f*** Yen Sid is.
I'd still eat that first cake. Yes, it does look gross. But I'd eat it.
DB and Sharyn, you've got me humming. Those tunes don't work together, however, but that's my problem. :D
I read the second cake as a calligraphized "Loots." Calligraphized is now a word!
I am here.
#1 I saw 'spaghetti & meatballs on the *third* viewing. The first two times, I was like, "Chocolate-covered cherries on cake. Cool!"
#2 A birthday cake from the year 20,013 completes the improbability equation that produced the atrium and other mods at The Bunker.
#4 Is Aggil #4 any relation to Eve 6 of X-Files fame? This is of course a pineapple upside down cake. With frosting. You're welcome.
#5 This explains so much...
#7 Sort of a mash-up of Mickey and Pointy-Haired Boss. In post-apocalyptic Disney World, Spaceship Earth is a real spaceship and not just a giant spore that gets called EPCOT a lot.