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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Aug232012

Colon: Blown

 

Well, to be fair, it looks like it *did* fly out of someone's butt.

 

I like how the candles are sinking into the cake, too, like it's some kind of technicolored Swamp of Sadness. Then again, if *I* had that big of a log next to me, I'd probably abandon all earthly hope, too.

 

 Thanks to Stephanie B. for finally giving a crap.

 

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This post brought To You By Ex-Lax, The #2 Choice of Wreckers Everywhere

"For baking inspiration, how 'bout a little constipation?"

« Darth Vader Gets Wrecked | Main | Doilies and Squiggles and Spray Paint, Oh My! »

Reader Comments (48)

Really? Can't imagine the baker thought this looked good. Hard to look at.

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterspudd

Sung to “Brown Eyed Girl”

Hey, why did you go
There on my Mom’s cake?
Stephanie’s crying
Man, you are so lame
Pushing down the candles, yea yea
Stinkin’ and a-runnin'
On a Technicolor sheet cake
Man, your choice was stunning, and
Ewwww, brown, wide turd
Ewwww, why, why? Brown, wide turd.

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Bathroom humor never dies. It just swirls around and around.

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlz

It is amazing what people will actually make and dare to sell.

And it's also amazing that people actually buy that crap. If it were me, they would have to scrape if off the shop window. Seriously.

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaaike

Why? Just... why???? WHY didn't someone look at this and think 'uh... no. That's not what we were going for.'

Unless what they were going for was a great big crap lying across two decapitated triangles spray-painted in hideously clashing colours, with four horrendous 'number' candles smooshed into them. In which case, they totally nailed it.

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

The cake itself must be BRAN flavored. :-P

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Oh... that's wrong in soooooooo many ways!!!

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDinobabe

PS, please tell me that's not the actual design of the Ex-Lax box. Please.

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Is the picture on the Ex-Lax box of the medicine or promised results?

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara K-B

It looks like a wee wee with poo poo at the... um ...base of it. No matter how you look at it, dont look at it!

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

This is actually a beautiful recreation of the rare dookie-bodied brightwing butterfly. Its stomach-turning appearance is a very effective natural defense mechanism. Predators are so nauseated by the sight of the insect that they become physically unable to eat it.

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Thanks for putting me off chocolate DX Sharyn LOL

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Ex-Lax....the #2 choice....good one :) That cake is just so wrong on so many levels...

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

No, Joan, the real box shows "chocolate" squares! This was priceless though!

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I laughed harder at this wreck than I have at a wreck in weeks. That makes me a little sad about the current state of my humour-finding level, but I've convinced myself not to give a crap about that and just enjoy/be repulsed by today's post.

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I had to go to the official Ex-Lax(TM) website to make sure that package was photoshopped or something.

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercakeburnette

"Ewwww, why, why? Brown, wide turd."

Stuck in my head for the rest of the day...you've really outdone yourself this time, Sharyn!

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

I was actually afraid to look at todays post after just reading the title. Yeah, no breakfast for me today. Thanks Jen for helping me with my diet!

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

Awwwww. ARTAX!

That is all.

*sniff*

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I definitely shouldn't visit this site while eating lunch. bleh!

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAudax

Ewww.

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKathy W.

Some people really DO need to seek professional help for their ongoing LSD flashbacks which influence them to choose this decorating/color scheme. And their delusions that this cake is anywhere near attractive, or edible.

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

In addition to the horribleness of the technicolor wings, poop middle and sinking candles, it looks like they spelled Stephanie's name wrong.

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

Poo-fly, don't bother me... Poo-fly, don't bother me... Poo-fly, don't bother meeeeeeee.... (blinkblinkblink)... I take it back - IT DOES!!!!

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I love how the "body" has shade variants to make it that much more realistic, as though forced through a strained opening. The Japanese adore poo-themed desserts (not flavored with or containing the actual ingredient), but this lacks the cartoon-y whimsy of those special treats.

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJSB

What a crappy cake! [sorry, I had to]

@Joan - LOL!

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Thanks, Sharyn! That was amazing! :)

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergmarie

I am SO glad that today, on my birthday, I have a plain white coconut cake. Simple, yummy and very "un-turd-like." LOL!!

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDarlene

So glad people are getting The Neverending Story reference ;) That is TOTALLY what the 70 and 20 candles reminded me of, too!!!

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRhonda BZ

Eeeeew Eeeeew and double Eeeew!

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLori

It's too bad this isn't a Star Wars related wreck..then you could have an ad for Dooku-Lax.

Dooku-Lax: for the Sith in you.

This joke courtesy of my DH.

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

Eew! That is so wrong on so many levels.

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterchickiegirl07

Colon Blow!
And now available...Super Colon Blow!

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterYea!

an easy chair companion: a cake and a footstool.....

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

I am so not seeing #2 here...but AM seeing a rather well-endowed, obviously MALE butterfly. Or, if I'm being completely honest, no butterfly at all and just a dismembered male member laying on a tablecloth from the 60s.

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTeDiouS

Well, someone read (or saw) The Help! "Here ya go, boss. I made this just for you. As you know, I put a little bit of myself into everything I do!"

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

I thought it looked like a hot dog.

It sure makes yesterday's cakes look better. ;)

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

*"Technicolor Swamps of Sadness" - very nice. Very nice indeed.

But now I can't resist yelling Artax!!!!!!! ARTAX!!!!! Fight against the sadness, Artax! Stupid Horse!

Which quickly degrades into dreamily looking off in the distance and murmuring "Atreyu..." as my husband just shakes his head and sighs.

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAgent B

When I saw the headline for this post, I thought it was a reference to Bartolo Colon. Then I saw the cake, and really wish it had been about a banned baseball pitcher. That cake gives real turds a bad name.

August 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergabsmom

Sharyn, I am not going to be able to listen to Van Morrison without bursting into giggles, thanks to you.You're number 1 at number 2 song parodies! :-D

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelindaB

Oh wow..just when I thought the poo cake had gone away here comes another one lol. Loved the Ex-Lax box. Now that shows what will happen if you happen to eat this cake..ugh. Wreckerators are evil. Poor Stephanie probably wanted to hide under her bed when she saw this and her mom too lol.

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Chocolate Ex-lax is my username on a few websites. XD I feel like I got a dedication, almost. XD

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen

@Lisa - thank you. Thank you so much.

;o)

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Never eat cake again...NEVER eat cake again.....

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

Aside from the poo why did 70 year old mom have 20 year old Stephanie at age 50?
No one? Really? Besides the fact that its a disgusting cake.

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Always appreciate Sharyn's creativity.

August 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim

DO NOT SHARE B-DAY CAKES AND WRIGHT BOTH NAMES

Either....
a) get a cake without numbers or names, so you don't say "happy 7012 birthday Amyphill"
b) talk to 1 of the people who the cake is for to conceder celebrating 1 b-day a week early so they both have there own special days

March 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBluejay

Wrecked 'em? Pretty dang near killed 'em!

November 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterrocketride

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