A Healthy Appetite
January 9, 2012 So, Wreckies, how are those get-healthy New Year's resolutions going?
Mine are going GREAT. Here, let me run down my list with you:
1) Eat more greens
;)
CHECK.
(Look, it has real lettuce on it. Of COURSE it's a salad.)
2) Also eat more fruit
;)
CHECK.
(Granted, green grapes and chocolate icing aren't really my thing, but I'm committed this time, guys. I'm gonna see this through.)
And speaking of seeing things "through"...
3) Start an Activia video diary like Jamie Lee Curtis told me to
Er... Ok, I'm actually a little "behind" on this one, [BWAHAHAHAA POOP JOKE] but it looks like this guy has gotten a "head" start:
;)
I bet he's calling Jamie on his banana phone right now to tell her the good news!
4) Avoid pasta
;)
CHECK.
(That's the new "I CAN believe it's not pasta!" from Duncan Hines. It's also gluten-free! Which means it's, like, TWICE as healthy.)
5) Eat more fiber
;)
You'll never believe this, but after I wash the polyester fuzz down with some milk, I'm actually completely stuffed!
And my final get-healthy resolution:
6) Start running!
;)
CHE...AAAUAUUGGGGHHH!!! RUN AWAAAY!!
Thanks to Tianna B., Rachel T., Sara R., Laura P., Patti M., & Greg B. for keeping me on track.
Btw, if you want MORE running inspiration, check out the rest of artist Scott Hove's "Cakeland" exhibit. [shudder]
Reader Comments (64)
WTF is that last cake??? A werewolf??? That is one of the creepiest cakes i've seen in ages D:
The bear cake or whatever that last one is so awesome in its WTH-wreckiness that I actually like it.
Besides, it has chocolate frosting that is NOT poo-reminiscent.
Actually you can avoid all of the fiddly examples and go straight to Carrot Cake
Carrot Cake is a complete and balanced diet
veg check
fruit ( raisins, you must have raisins, coconut in frosting double points) check
dairy ( double ) check
grains (well flour counts) check
legumes / nuts check
Alert Garfield to order take out today.
John is cooking again!
The Jamie Lee Curtis tribute cake made me laugh out loud. And that last one make me check out CAKELAND and that was AWESOME!! I win the lottery and I am having this guy desing a cake room for me. All the cabinetry can be cake-camo. And I love the chandelier. wow.
You really could have picked some uber-creepy cakes from the Cakeland website. Thank you for restraining yourself. And thank you for that website. I'm sending it to my mother and telling her that I want one of these for my wedding. Heh, heh, heh.
I looked at the cakeland pictures. WHY, OH WHY is there a baby face inside one of the demon teeth cakes?
These cakes are the usual horrors,but that last cake left me bugeyed.
To Martha in above post,
Loved the detailed list of a guaranteed balanced meal.
mocking
Brittany - I'm with you. W. T. F????? That is some odd stuff in the name of art. And were those real people wearing cake shoes and dresses? Or...I just don't know...
LOL - great comments as always. My favorite was the Activa cake. That 'bear' is really letting it all hang out, isn't he?
The last one looks like a kitty mouth to me. Not that scary.
Why the heck does the bear or werewolf or whatever cake have two raspberries? I can understand one as the nose but two?
The last one is... oddly compelling.
I might like it.
Jessica H, will you marry me?
But, but, the Cakeland guy makes cakes you CAN'T EAT!!!!! I know we've all said "it's too pretty to eat" or "I'd hate to cut into that", but WTH!! You can't eat his even if you want to. Now that's just wrong.
And so is that spaghetti cake. Blood and mucus are not cake decorating items.
Ooh ooh!! I want to be the first!!!
"In Soviet Russia- Cake eats YOU"
ha ha ha
ok.. better now.
I'm so moving to Cakeland.
I’m with ya on this health kick!
Cake 1: lettuce eat more burgers!
Cake 2: ah…I think this is a nest of alien spoor, perhaps the origin of the moon’s little green men…
Cake 3: this bear is just a “regular” guy…a role model for all of us…
Cake 4: run right pasta this dish…
Cake 5: I wanted to comment on the lamb, but I felt a little sheepish…
Cake 6: cake with a bite…(but I have to say, from the link, I liked the cake with the baby in it even more…is that wrong….?)
WOW, those Cakeland cakes are kind of amazing!
The last cake sure is...well, it has a tongue on it. I try not to eat tongues. Just my personal philosophy.
I second Martha! Carrot cake rocks the house!
Are those real teeth?! WTF indeed sir.
That last cake. Is. AMAZING!!!
I especially love the superfluous extra rows of teeth made of icing.
That Cakeland website is crazy! I can't imagine walking into someone's house and seeing one of those and just being like...."W-What is that? Is your chandalier CAKE? And is it trying to eat me?"
That last cake? WTF?? Are those vampire dentures?
Need a cakebite kit?
Includes scale, measuring tape
for the cakebitten.
I am actually eerily impressed by that(those) last cake(s)...
I may really like them.
The last cake....apparently werewolves have a nose on the bottom of their chin. The better to smell you with???
(spitting out lunch) Well, there went my appetite.
<I>...after I wash the polyester fuzz down with some milk, I'm actually completely stuffed!</I>
OMG! You made me LOL frosting out my nose!
Aww I sent that last one in too, ages and ages ago... No thanks? Oh well.
[Editor's note- Sorry about that Lindsay. We actually had that cake submitted like 25 times and Jen just picked the first submitter for the thank you line. Wreck On! -john]
That last cake taught me that cakes can be like razor toothed gree worms. They can be succulent but sometimes they bite back. :p lol
OMG! "CakeLand" is the place of my nightmares! Any place that sells itself by saying that it was "accessorized with fake fruit and other objects found in stores or on the street" can't be all that great. I have seen stuff on the street. It's there for a reason!
Wow! Cakeland is amazing! I wonder if the artist would do a functional walk-in closet? Could you imagine???
Bananaphone! :-) That SO made my day!
Also, I want to bring that last cake to my next dentist appointment. Open wide!
I call foul on that last one, it's not edible!!
Oh wait, neither are 99% of the other cakes you showcase here on a daily basis. Carry on then.
I don't know what in the heck that last cake is supposed to be but it looks like it has a coyote mouth insert from a taxidermist in it. They must have had them on sale at Big Lots and someone said, "Hey, that would look cool coming out of a cake!"
WHA?!?!
green tea and red bean cake in the first picture??? eeewwww......
"...completely stuffed!" HAHAHAHA!!!!
I am
probablydefinitely crazy, but I think the hamburger cakes with real lettuce might taste okay. It seems like a strawberry shortcake with some chocolate elements. The flavor and texture of the lettuce probably blends with the strawberries; if not, I could just pick it off.Remember that one time there was a monkey cake that was not half plastic and did not look like poo? That was nice.
Are those strawberries in the hamburger? The other cake is stuffed animal abuse! Who puts
fuzzy stuff on cake?? And the pasta is just...scary. Now just do this with cat food and the furry animal laying on my computer might be persuaded.
eat more finre made me lol!
the mouth is distrubing.
*laugh*
I'd totally eat the "hamburger" red bean cake. I mean, red bean paste, chinese cake, strawberry, lettuce. Actually sounds pretty tasty.
Also, the "cake that eats you" is actually really funny.
She-she: my dad always said his policy on eating tongue was that he didn't want to taste anything that could taste him back...so he would have been right there with you!
@Martha, carrot cake should be one of the basic food groups (see what I did there?).
#1 1,000 Interwebz to Jen for not showing the Green Tea and Red Bean 'cake'. Just because I like certain things does not mean they should be combined before ingestion -- ever.
#2 Speaking of things that shouldn't be combined...
#4 Please tell me the gray is condensation on the cover and not something on the...whatever that red stuff is. I call it, 'diet aid'.
#5 Speaking of things that should never be combined...
#6 That mouth is WAY too life-like. This could be a still from 'The Bakery of Dr. Moreau -- The Sequel'.
thank goodness the post made me laugh cause the link had me doing WTF over and over. everytime I see a link from Jen I swear I won't click on it and I always do. sigh
I'm slightly disappointed that Cakeland is not actually cake. I was flipping through all the pictures, and decided to read about what Cakeland is and came across this paragraph:
"The sculptures are formed using carvable rigid polyurethane foam and plywood. The installations are constructed of cardboard, plywood, and any found object that has a suitable form. They are frosted with a variety of acrylic media, using traditional cake decorating tools, and accessorized with fake fruit and other objects found in stores or on the street."
It would have been a thousand times more awesome if it had been made with real cake.
Am I the only one who could see the last cake featured in a Stephen King novel? "The Cakeoliers"?
That last cake appeals to the horror lover in me lol. Looks like something that can eat you which is fitting since we tend to eat alot of cake here. 'Bout time one gave me a good fight before I eat it. And yay to the Activia cake it proves that stuff really does work!
@Melinda B -- No, you aren't. Having seen the last cake that way, I now can't see it any other way.
The Cakeoliers eat unsold wrecks. Thus, there is an uneasy alliance between them and DOC -- what becomes of the cake in question depends on who gets on scene first. If DOC can't respond quickly enough, well, let's just say clean up is a snap. Things can get interesting if extensive corrections are needed and the Cakeoliers show up before the job is complete (if YOU want to argue with those fangs, go right ahead).