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What's a Wreck?
A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)
- Jen
January 2, 2012
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Reader Comments (82)
Dear God, its alive! Apparently dictyostelids like cake, too.
I don't have to say what it looks like --- you KNOW what it looks like. If they just would have smoothed out the lumpiness, it would have looked better. Not great, maybe not edible, but better.
BLEAH! What on earth is that oozy stuff, that is the most unappetizing "edible" decoration I have ever seen on a cake--and considering that I read this blog every single day, THAT is saying something!
Dear God!! It looks like vasoline coming out of the glasses!! YUCK!
Which is worse? the slime ooze or the cake outlined in black mourning crepe?
The cake itself isn't that bad, but WTF is that jelly like crap??? It looks so wrong D:
Well, you've started out the year with a bang...
I think I'll just go with "EEWWWWWWW,,,," on this one....
(blinblink)... Ew... Just... EEEEEWWWWWWWWW...
Yuck...looks like giant blobs of mucus! Eeewww!! They'd have been better off with just the glasses, but then they would'n't've gotten on Cake Wrecks, LOL!
URGH... Perhaps this cake illustrates why every profession has its secrets...we don't WANT to know!
Ew. Just Ew.
This is making me hate champagne more and more.
Yuck.
Yuck.
Yuck.
Yuck.
Yuck.
I don't want to know, I don't want to know, I don't want to know, I don't want to know...
To be fair, I think that second glass was originally upright (you can see the imprint in the frosting). Because an upright glass of primordial ooze is soooo much more appetizing than a spilled one.
Baker's explanation:
"Well, more buttercream would have been expensive, so we tried to go cheaper for the customer, and used what was at hand..."
Ewww.
It reminds me of the mucus like slime kids get from the vending machine at the grocery store. The kind the you play with until it gets old and dirty and gets to a buger like consistancy.
The most disturbing part is that if it is like slime at this point, you'll never be sure you got all of it off the cake. :P
I do like that the sludge covers the N, making the cake read "Happy Ew Year 2012."
Aw, thanks a lot! There goes my new year's resolution to stop having such a twelve-year-old sense of humour. I know that these resolutions usually do get blown, but I didn't see it coming so soon.
It's always good to start out the New Year with a stiff one...and by the way, and I don't know what this means, but if you enlarge the picture, and look into the glasses, I think you can see men....
Once again, I point out to bakers everywhere: Remember, we're supposed to EAT this. I beg you to consider that before decorating with snot.
yeah.. that picture does NOT go well with Mac & Cheese... just saying.. GAG!!!!
Ummmmmm, wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow. I can't even.....no.....there are no words.....I just threw up a little in my mouth. How could anyone look at that, and then think it would be a good idea to SELL it?
Well, it appears that at least SOMEone had a good time....but he needs to learn the crusty sock trick.
I didn't really just type that.
(You know I'm just kidding, right? My juvenile sense of humour is one of the finest things about me and I am grateful the Cake Wrecks for all the giggles!)
Happy new year!
Here, have a nice glass of ... snail slime? snot? Vaseline? something worse?
Anyway, happy new year!
Mmm, ectoplasm.
That stuff inside the champagne glasses?
It... snot what you think it is.
I have only one word... "LOL" :)
But I bet it tastes sweet though! If you have to, close your eyes when you eat it and I bet it tastes so good you won't even remember what it looked like.
I thought it was Vaseline, but it's snot!
Umm... Ummmm.... Ummmmmmmmm....
That's about all I can say. My mind won't let me come up with anything else... lol
[Sleazy infomercial announcer's voice]: "You need to liven up that party, but fake puke is so 20th century. What to do? With this product, you'll be the most popular guest in the history of time! Just send for..." [quickly changing the channel]
Jen, I love you. And that wreckerator needs to hydrate more. Blech.
I think that belongs in a sterile specimen cup instead of a champagne glass, and those little buggers really should be refrigerated.
I read recently about a scientist who is using slime molds to model human intelligence (true story). I expect he would be upset to learn that instead of a multi-zillion dollar lab with state-of-the-art equipment, all he needs is access to a bakery.
"Somebody blows their nose, and you wanna keep it?"
"Egon, your mucus."
I think it piping gel which is completely safe to eat, often used instead of water to make the frosting used for fine work, thinner. Gross looking, yes, but safe!
Checked back to see of it was still as eeewwwwwwy as before, and -yup- it is. But it did make me think of another movie quote:
"You men, run with Mucus!"
Two points if you can Name That Movie!
Piping gel. It could be worse though. They could've colored the gel. Funny thing is this is a "wreck on wreck on wreck." I'd eat the far away corner though.
Ok so is it bad I've laughed more at the comments than the cake itself...lol...o geez this is too funny.
I agree that the cake is fine, but...I was studying my anatomy and physiology for a class today, and I won't share the medical terms that this cake reminds me of. <hurk>
How can I "like" every comment that's been posted here??
Its piping gel, its piping gel...must convince self its only piping gel...Blegh...
O to the M to the G.
I think there's a Rod Stewart joke in here....
WHAT is it? Seriously, is it corn syrup? someone must know what it is. I need to know. Please, someone offer an explanation.
That is horrific.
Ok. I'll say it. It looks like glasses full of semen.
I just thought it looked like melted jelly beans...I actually didn't get the gross feeling at all. xD
*gag* I'm a perv, mucus was NOT what I was thinking. Am I the only one who went /there/?
Pro tip: do NOT read CakeWrecks while watching Dan Savage videos in another window.
Trust me. You do not want to know all of the things that I considered before realizing that the...substance on the cake was supposed to be champagne.
Did anyone else notice the orange stain the wineglass (unsuccessfully) attempts to cover up?