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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jul222011

The Search for the World's Most Disturbing Shower Cake ENDS HERE

 

You know how I'm always telling you baby butt cakes could be so much worse?

 

 

Things are about to get so much worse.

 

Heads up!

Wow. This is so stinkin' sexy, I almost didn't even notice the outie belly button.

 

Because fetus cookies are SO last year:

Goes great with mother's milk.

And lots of screaming.

 

Proving once again that bakers are taking posts on this blog as inspiration:

I'm torn (ha! Ew.) between asking what that gray pouch thing hanging out is and desperately, desperately, not wanting to know. In fact, know what? Don't tell me. I'm never having kids, so knowing what the inner lining's poop chute or whatever looks like is just one of those things I never need to know. Seriously. Leave me to my blissful ignorance.

 

And finally, look. I realize that a lot of talent was required to make some of these wrecks - I do! However, no amount of talent will ever make any part of this look yummy to me:

 

In fact, you could say the amount of talent a baker has when making a placenta has an inverse reaction to how much I want to eat said placenta.

 

Or, in other words:

 

SWEET BETTY CROCKER I AM NEVER EATING AGAIN.

 

 

Thanks to Matt R., Sarah M., Carl G., & Heather A. for today's gut-busters. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to skip lunch.

« Sunday Sweets: Harry's Sweet Send-Off | Main | Atlantis, We Have a Problem »

Reader Comments (413)

A very wise teacher once told me, "Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should".

Sheesh.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterConnie Moreno

Ew. EW. Ew! Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarcy W.

OMG. These are hideous. I sent the link to STFU Parents. :)

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDazie

Bleh! If someone got me a cake like that for my baby shower, they would be off the friend list quicker than you can say "placenta"!!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKerri

Good grief, is that last baby supposed to look like it's dead? What on earth are people thinking of when they order these cakes?

I HOPE the search ends here, I really don't want to imagine what could top these hideous things.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I've followed STFU Parents far too long to ever think that people don't actually eat their own placents. I've also SEEN far too many placentas thanks to that blog, but that cake really, well, takes the cake.

I'm going to go curl up in a corner and cry softly into my security blanket for a while now.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWarLioness

AAAAUUUUUUGGGHHHHH D:

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yes, these wreckorators have talent, but do they HAVE to use it for evil??? Cripes. Those are just beyond gross.

If I were ever to be a guest at a shindig boasting one of those things, I'd have to have some serious words with whomever ordered it.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

I have never before had a physical reaction (besides insane laughing!) to a cake... until that placenta close-up picture. My stomach flipped... and I had just eaten breakfast... I didn't know a picture could honestly make someone sick!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

Yes, yes. I know I said back in June (Dexter/CSI post) that it was going to take a LOT more than that to make me lose my lunch.
Congratulations Jen. You did it!

I'm not sure if it was the hand and …erm… worm (?) graphically bursting out of the bloody stomach or the shiny bowl of shiny placenta, but it just goes to show that not becoming an obstetrician was a wise career choice.

Renewing my fatwa/edict/diktat against cakes at my baby shower. (baby carrot jockey cake excepted)

p.s. Who eats that?!?

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPuppygirl

yeah because leaving the placenta on the baby would have been gross

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterYuKi-Mekishiko

Everyone else has said it all already, so I will just add -- why didn't someone stop these people? By force if necessary!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yay for always checking email, immediately followed by cakewrecks first thing in the morning! Especially while eating breakfast! I bought 3 breakfast tacos for no reason! (Bold-faced lie, while totally grossed out, I'll finish breakfast once I close this browser).

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKSLSRocks

Worst of the worst! Ugh! I may never eat cake again.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSamantha

Dear God in heaven--what are they planning to DO to that last baby?

(And, I have to say...I'm pregnant. Thank heavens I have six-some months to put these images out of my head before I actually have to contemplate giving birth...*shudder*)

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKae

Publishing these could help end obesity and lower the population in one fell swoop!
Awful.
mocking

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Childbirth is the most beautiful, empowering, and enlightening experience any couple can share. To criticize those who want to celebrate with cake is just wrong. Disgusting? Disturbing? Worse than poop cake? blech? Ew,ew? Ewwwwwwww? Yucko Bucko? No no no no no?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?
Really, Grow up!

Just kidding, they're disgusting.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy'sMom

Cakewrecks. Insta-diet. I never knew.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermimi

What is funny is that a few posts earlier in my reader was this one from Wilton:

http://www.wilton.com/blog/index.php/how-to-make-a-baby-rump-shower-cake/

So everyone can make their own wreck!! (I like how they pointed out that some people don't like cutting into the baby butt!)

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Holy crap! I think I'm still finishing lunch, but only just. That last one is just...WTF material!

WV: pagghh The sound I made when I saw these cakes!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDanger Boy

These cakes must be the best appetite supressant I've ever seen. One woman there is apparently going to give birth to two diseased kidneys.

WV: sphygo. The sphygo is portrayed a bit too graphically on these cakes.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

OMG...

Do these people actually consider that a cake is to be eaten? Who is REALLY going to cut into that final baby?

BLECCCHHH....

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterML

poop chute! hah!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

A well-known tv chef in the UK did this in his show:
"The presenter, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, devised the recipe with mother Rosie Clear for a party to celebrate the birth of her daughter Indi-Mo Krebbs.

The placenta was fried with shallots and garlic, flambéed, puréed and served to 20 relatives and friends as a pate on focaccia bread.

Mrs Clear's husband Lee had 17 helpings but the other guests were less enthusiastic. "

Urgh.....

That grey pouch thing? What no-one tells you is that you have to take that home with you after the birth and keep it in a tupperware container in the fridge until your child is 1 year old.....nope, sorry, can't keep on with that joke, I'm making myself feel sick. Although that last cake produced the first gag reflex I've ever got from Cake Wrecks.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

I really should not have opened this cake wrecks post today. At 2am this morning I was helping out at the birth of my nephew and had to cut the umbilical cord.
Somehow the real life experience was not as gross as these cakes are. This post almost make me chunder (vomit) all over the room.
I think I need to go find some prozac and wash it down with vodka to wipe these cakes from my memory.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG...

Aren't cakes supposed to be eaten? Who would EVER cut into that baby in that last cake...or that placenta?

By the way, I think that's supposed to be a leg and foot in the first one. Not exactly to scale with the hand, though...Or maybe an appendix that slithered around the uterus...

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterML

I miss fetus cookies.

@ Dave and Karlee- forceps. Don't look it up.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

1st of all that baby in the last photo should be on a warmer not on the sterile field. Also, that's a rather small bowl for that placenta... Or maybe the placenta is huge, they should definitely send it to pathology.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Howard

I am now even more grateful for my Winnie the Pooh decorated baby shower cake, plastic figurines and all!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLadybug914

The commenters usually can jolly me out of the disgust, frustration and irritation I occasionally experience viewing some really bad cakes. Not this time. Amazing.

Norine

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think, as a general rule, medical instruments and cake should not go together. Anytime you see them on the same plate, it's bad. Really bad.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

OK, seriously? And you people complained that my "sexy suds" cake was gross? These are downright vile! Especially the last 2. Excuse me, I am off to vomit up my breakfast.

WV:unnedo - Unnedo get off the drugs and stop watching slasher movies people!!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What sort of message are they trying to convey? We're so excited for this baby to arrive so we can eat it - and the placenta too? Gross.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJanice

Who needs Weight Watchers? Certainly not me. All I need to do is reference these photos when I feel like snacking. Kills the urge every time. In fact, I may not eat again. ever.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm more disturbed by the dead babies than the placenta. Eating a placenta... well, not my cuppa but rationally is not a bad thing (highly nutritious, nourished the baby, yadda yadda yadda).

Eating a dead baby or foetus though... just leaves me speechless.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

These are supposed to be edible, right?! My thoughts are a) most of what's depicted (babies aside, of course) goes into the category of "medical waste" after delivery, so who wants to see that? and b) the ladies who gave me a baby shower before my son was born totally would have loved this stuff, so I feel like I have dodged a bullet because thankfully they didn't see these cakes first, amen.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My goodness!

What was going through those baker's minds.? What was going through the minds of the people who asked for these cakes to be made? Don't baker realize how awkward it is to stand there with a knife and try to CUT into a realistic looking baby cake?

I'm pretty sure I might be able to pull off most of those cakes but I'd never go through with it. No one could convince me to make a cake like that especially the last one.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

Ewww, my eyes are bleeding and I'm about to see my breakfast again!!!
As someone who doesn't have kids, doesn't want to ever have kids, this is just too much. I'm with you though in the fact that I really, really, don't want to know what some of that stuff is.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulie G. from Iowa

And here we have a whole gallery of evidence to demonstrate that talent and intelligence don't necessarily go together! Some baker somewhere is probably wailing, "but the customer WANTED that!" Really? Hand her a business card for a local counselling service. No one needs to slice into a stillborn child on a sterile field next to an overflowing bowl of placenta, even if it is beautifully rendered in angel food cake. [hurk]

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAron

Luckily i was not eating breakfast or lunch because out here in malaysia it's way past bedtime, but i'm afraid to sleep now! the first thing i saw on the last cake was the placenta thing - even before you zoomed on it. which made it worse once i was subjected to the gory details....i immediately went over a load of sunday sweets to cancel the effect.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVK

Midwife at home birth: "We'll just leave the placenta here."
Me: "NO! Nasty! Dispose of it with the medical waste."

Two weeks later:
Me: "Honey? What's this in the freezer?"

And here I thought the homebirth midwives would take ALL our wishes into account.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPhyllis

Ewwww ewwwwww ewwwwwwwwww. :(

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

I usually don't even get a chance to read the comments much less post but I had to today. Thanks! You ruined cake for me for life now! I don't know whether to thank you or be upset...blechhhh

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

I'm bookmarking this post to help with my diet. bubbyee appetite.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterToni W.

OMG, when I was pregnant I was always having nightmares about the baby bursting out of my belly like in Alien. These cakes are just as freaky as those dreams!!

Sara

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

On CakeCentral just this week, a baker was telling about her strange request for a placenta cake for someone who works in labor and delivery. Everyone was leaving comments on how to make it appear more realistic!
Also, I think the first cake is cute!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

Now I'm going to have to put bleach in my eyes.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPossum

:(

thanks for ruining my day.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSanni

EW EW EW. I don't even know if I'm typing in the correct space because I've bleached my eyeballs and can no longer see.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

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