Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Dec132011

It's Heee-eeere!

(All together, now!)

Itttt's beeee-ginning to look a lot like Christmas!


CHRISTMAS.

 

Eeev'rywhere you "go!"

[ew]

 

Take a look at the zombie 'men

Slavering once again

 

With candy cane intestines, oh ho ho!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

CHRISTMAS!!

 

Saaaanta seals your doom

But the scariest sight to see

Is the gingerbread crazy

Waiting iiinnn yoooour room!

 

"Hi, kids! Who's ready for a slay ride?"

 

Thanks to Marsha M., Kathy H., Bethany S., Michelle T., Crystal, Ashley H., & Anony M. for sharing the holiday "spirit." Now, somebody hold me.

« Paying With Plastic | Main | CLOSE THE INTERNET »

Reader Comments (80)

I love when you do song knock-offs!

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOur Montessori Home

Oh, and that gingerbread man truly would make a great sidekick for Pennywise (Steven King's clown in "It").

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOur Montessori Home

aauugghhh! I read the lines, I hesitated, but then I scrolled down. I think I'll have nightmares for weeks.

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVJ

Just wanted you to know that I appreciate your humor. That last one was a killer.

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

Lovin' Spock in the Santa hat!

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

I will have nightmares about that last gingerbread man. Bahaha! And it never fails to astound me just how many cakes are topped in what appears to be poop. I mean...they must realize it as they're squeezing out the brown icing. How could they NOT? Were they never six-year-olds?

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I actually shrieked at the last one. Please don't haunt my nightmares, please don't haunt my nightmares...

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAJ

Thanks anyway - I think I'll bake my own Christmas cake. Even MY meager cake decorating skills can make it look better than any of these!

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKay W

(evil laugh) Hey kid, you wanna know what happens when you mess with MY gumdrop buttons? Mwahahaha! Death by CCC! Mwahahahaha!

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterScapergirl

Please, please, please do another Cake Wrecks video featuring cakes of this ilk, entitled "Slay Ride." Maybe set to "Santa Claus is Coming to Town?" ("You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry" always struck me as pretty threatening.) The whole post was hilarious -- my first thought upon seeing the yellow snowman was "How big ARE the dogs in that town?" -- but that final pun KILLED!

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

That's the song I want to hear playing in the shopping malls!

Thanks for straightening me out about that first one; I was wondering who had pooped on poor Oscar the Grouch's head! Aloysius Snuffleupagus, perhaps?

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPersephone

*Backing away from the computer in fear*

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Oh Jen, you sleigh me!

Yellow snowman cracked. me. up. Really?

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

I laughed.

I cried.

Post of the year, I'm thinking!

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSyl B

The scariest thing about the faux-gingerbread monstrosity is that anyone would be expected to fork out $14.99 for a cupcake cake, especially one that ugly. Oh the pain! May they never find a buyer and be forced to retire the "design"!

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRandy Hoffman

I love the song! Great post!!!

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I'm always on the lookout for hidden puns in your posts, and this time I found a possibly unintentional one. By drawing out the "beginning" you made me see "ginning" and I thought, "Gee, I wish I were drinking gin right now instead of coffee." Some ginning would have gotten me through that post without bringing me nightmares. As it is, I have to have more coffee tonight because I vow to never sleep again. I'm sure that gingerbread crazy will be waiting for me on the other side of unconsciousness.

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

I can't remember the last time I laughed as hard as I did at that last 'cake'. I keep scrolling back just to get another chuckle out of it. Your song re-write posts are always brilliant!

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBriony

I need to learn this version of the song because it is SICK and Funny! Thanks for the giggles.

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSam

That green brain with a face and a red hat is crazy enough I just might buy it, if I saw it in a store.

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Oscar looks surprisingly cheery considering what's on his head... almost like he got into some awesome-to-him garbage, like that yellow silly string.I mean, what else could put such a smile on the old grouch's face? (Well, besides a Grouchette...)

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSnapdragon

Oh dear God! There really is a war on Christmas!!!!

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

There is no RIGHT way to use yellow snow.

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

I thought psychedelic gingerbread went out with love beads.

Picture yourself on a pan in bak'ry,
With pieces of plastic and and a green frosting tie.
Everyone screams as they stare at your count'nance.
Perhaps they should just buy a pie.

(Now everybody!)
Gingy on a tray-ay with flotsam, Gingy on a tray-ay with flotsam
AAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHAAAAA

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy'sMom

Is that a vest, or a bra???? (shudder)

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlex Dreamz

I honestly believe that these bakers forget that they are dealing with FOOD. That they are supposed to be creating something for people to eat. There is no way I'd want to eat any of these. Much less look at them.
I will, however, be humming this song all day . . .

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Also scary about the gingerbread man: its sell-by date. Who knows WHAT's in that thing that can make it last that long, or how you can tell when it's gone "bad."

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

The herd of zombie snowmen look like Rorschach from Watchmen!

And the gingerbread man "cake" looks like edible evil sprinkled with nightmares...

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAna!

looks like someone ( gingerbread crazy ) needs a new bra. ; ) Anyway that was my second thought after i "oh my'ed ".

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDIana

REMEMBER, NEVER....EAT....THE....YELLOW....SN..FROSTING.

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSM3

You made me sing that horrid song in my head - boo! But I laughed so hard I cried- yay! Great job!

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn

I want a slice of the top one. All that icing...

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Ack! That elf thing with the green and red cone on its head actually made me scream a little.

And holy crap I thought that gingerbread thing had breasts.

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjessikate

In the first cake, not only did the Grinch steal Christmas, he ATE Santa! :(

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

Is it just me or does that look like an Orc in a Santa hat? LOTR on the brain, I guess!

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlly

Song request:
"Please, Daddy, Don't Get Drunk This Christmas."

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I have no idea why my brain finds the oozing crossed "candy canes" so funny/horrifying but it does. "come on brain" I say "some of the others are far more wrecktastic" but no.

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterspel chek

Best. Song. Ever.

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertjbmurph

OMG that last one D:

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Spock in a Santa Hat...Priceless!

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLabgoddess

That Santa looks like the one in Futurama--you know, the evil robotic one with a huge cannon whose mission is to kill everyone he can? "X-Mas" is a fearful,, armor-filled night in the future. Ho, ho, ho. Ever seen it? Oh, sorry--forgot who I was talking to...never mind.

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

The good thing is the gingerbread man is a CCC - if you are quick about it you can rip his arms and feet off so he can't get you!

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

LMAO LMAO LMAO I actually sang the melody to myself as I read this.

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercw

Love the song. It made the cakes less scary.

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJane

For the first time in my life, I'm now frightened that I live on Elm Street. That Gingerbread thingy gives me the heebie jeebies.

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterColin M.

Even without its pendulous pectorals and psychotic expression, the very concept of that last CCC is too meta to result in anything but a wreck. It's a blob that is made of cupcakes that are arranged in the shape of a cookie that is traditionally shaped like a person. It's one of the few applications where it would be acceptable to decorate with pre-made candies; instead, the wreckerator has added even more frosting and non-gingerbread-man-specific plastic flotsam. It's not even gingerbread-flavored.

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Totally thought the Gingerbread Man was a Gingerbread Woman with huge, pendulous breasts.

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterannie

OY - the yellow-snow snow man is just wrong. Then there's the creepy gingerbread man with the dead eyes - and a $15.00 price tag to boot! Good lord, just bake a mix and slather on some frosting from a jar - couldn't be worse.

The song accompanying these Christmas beauties is a hoot!

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdeb

Mom said "Don't eat the yellow snow." She didn't say anything about not using it to make snowmen.

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelindaB

That gingerbread is transgendered. Breasts and Man-dy cane made out of icing. Thankfully I don't have my glasses on.

December 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterhyena overlord

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>