Jen's Mom Writes a Post
October 7, 2011 And now, a note from Jen's mom:
Hello.
;)
Jennifer tells me I have to use the funny cake pictures.
[You're doing fine, mom.]
So.
Are you coming to Jennifer's little book parties? She's been working so hard on them, even though I told her that probably nobody is going to come.
;)
But I told her, I said, "Just because people don't want to see you doesn't mean you're a failure. Maybe everybody's busy! Maybe they're at their mothers'! Who am I to say? What do I know?"
All I know is that all of my friends already have grandchildren.
;)
It's hard for me to tell them that my Jennifer apparently doesn't love me enough to give me grandbabies.
[Mom! This is not the time.]
Fine! Fine, I'll change the subject.
So, I remember Jennifer's first period...
;)
[WHAT.]
What? I'm telling a story! Well, anyway, she cried for days. It was terrible. And the clots...oh my goodness...
[MOTHER!!]
Okay, okay! Well. If you blog people aren't visiting your mothers on the night of Jennifer's little party, maybe you could go. Who knows? It might be fun. And if not, at least you'll know you did something nice for my baby.
Oh, and also:
;)
Wait. That's not the right cake. Jennifer, sweetie, how do I put up the "Thank You" cake?
[Don't worry, Mom. I'll just put that in later.]
Thanks to Erin B., Kelly W., Ryan H., B.I., Anne S., and Jen's mom, who would obviously never write something like this and is an awfully good sport.
Reader Comments (73)
Hello Mrs. Jen's Mom.
Don't worry, a few of us have decided to show up to the little book parties so Jen doesn't feel too bad about not being a 'popular' girl. All of us who are coming are model (adult) children, so we'll be a good influence on your little Jen. You know the type: we've all produced grandbabies for our parents.
You would really get along with my mother. Why don't you send her a little note on the email device?
Oh, & to the real Jen's Mom - you are definitely a sport for letting her post this!
I would go, but my city - my entire region, actually - has been rejected as being wreckworthy. ;^) But that's okay. Jen & John have much bigger challenges than consoling the wreckjected: once the parents have latched on to wanting grandbabies, you'll have no peace. (And then, of course, after the babies come along, you'll still have no peace ... so basically it's all downhill from here....)
Oh Jen's Mom, It's so nice to meet you. We have the same last name, is it possible we're related?
I'll have to check on one of those ancestry websites. If I find we share a common ancestor, I'll be sure to come to Jen's party.
Hell, I think I'll come anyway!
Clots... ugh, I think I threw up in my mouth a little. Other than that, funny post! And cute idea, reminds me to call my mom lol.
Hehehehe, I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets the baby nag! Although I gotta admit, mine is a little more ridiculous...someday my mother will realize that her 33 year old gay son isn't going to spontaneously bud a child. I'm just hoping I'm never in a really bad mood when she starts in on it, cause I've got the best return comment prepped...
"So when are you going to settle down and start having some kids honey?"
"Probably the same day I find a guy with a pair of fallopian tubes in his a.."
It appears you've kidnapped my Mom.
Wow, nothing like some tried-and-true motherly guilt to motivate a person!
This is one of those times when the commentary is funnier than the cakes. I bet they could hear me cackling next door. :)
Jen,
I didn't know your mom was Jewish!
Jen's posts - awesome
John's posts - insanely funny
The other Jen's posts - brilliant
Jen's mom's post - I have reached the end of the internet.
Dear Jen's Mom,
I have 4 children. My own mother would be glad to donate a few to your Jen because they tire her out.
Maybe they can come visit on holiday?
Love,
Another Jen
Sorry, Jen, but I think your mom is more hilariouser than you. Maybe you should bring her to those little parties of yours. She can make sure there's no frosting on your face and your shirt's tucked in properly.
There you go, dear. Now smile; you have such a pretty smile.
So what did the real Jen's Mom think of this post?
Uck. This one just left me feeling sick. And it wasn't funny enough otherwise to make up for it. Oh well. They can't all be homeruns.
Funny! I laughed as hard at the comments as the post itself!
I always come to Cake Wreck but I never post a comment. Well, I had to post on this one to let you guys know that this is the most funny, hilarious, brilliant post I have seen on here since I have become a fan. AWESOME!
Hilarious! My fave is the one that welcomes the young lady to womanhood. Priceless!
Oh you have just reminded me of the excruciation of my own 'womanhood' moment, having sworn my mum to secrecy she promptly told my dad, and at dinner that night (I'm the oldest of 4 kids) he presented me with a bunch of flowers and said 'welcome to the women of the REDACTED family'.
I wanted the ground to open up ...
Hm, that does give me a great idea - maybe I should legally change my surname to REDACTED - think of the chaos!
Ahahahah, the comments of moms everywhere ;)
tooooooo funny! (and probably too true....) ... also, this is the first time I have seen a cake depicting someone crying diarrhea....
@SaraCVT-
My thoughts exactly!
UGH - Clots kinda made me gag more than anything else I have ever read on here.
Heh. Why do moms always want to tell people about their daughters becoming women??? As far as grandchildren, I told my MIL that every time she asked me when we were going to have kids, I was going to add time on to the wait. She immediately stopped. Loved the post, thank you Jen, can't wait to meet you in Memphis!
As a 30-something single woman who just survived, er, experienced a visit from my mom, this post made me snort and cry, I laughed so hard.
"clots" was TMI, but the rest was hilarious.
"
...Don't you WANT children??!!!"
It's not nice to put up an "Eat Me" cake just before Yom Kippur.
Hi Mrs. Jen's mom. She's not coming near enough to me to go to the book thingy, but I went to the last book thingy, and I'll be ordering a book. I will be enjoying her adventures vicariously.
Thanks for the fun post and the TMI.
So, is THAT what you're posting? No, no, it's fine. You know this interweb stuff better than I do. It's just that, what if someone sees this? You know what was nice? That Sunday Sweets post with the lovely cakes. So nice. But I'm sure this is nice, too. Otherwise I'm sure you wouldn't post it.
Knowing that someone might read it and all. Well, you know me: I don't like to interfere.
Power to the clots! Shame on any lady who disses Cakewrecks for making a period reference. Periods are funny. At least as funny as penis jokes, and I'm all for those.
Also, if my sorority ever has any kind of reunion in the near future, I'm totally making a "So Many Babies" cake. But I would have to spell it right, cuz, I just can't handle the bad grammar.
Did you make the cakes, too, Jen's Mom?
Actually, you sound eerily like my Mom, especially in the "nobody is going to come" prediction.
Poor Jen, her mom is clearly stuck in the "I must do or say anything that will embarrass my kids" phase.
Reminds me of my daughter coming up to me the other day and telling me this month is the 10th anniversary of when she first got her period. Yea.
@ The Black Dog.
Mom's never get out of that phase. It's their default Modus Operandi.
Jen,
Don't worry about the when am I getting Grandkids thing. You don't have to provide those. You Mom just wants to have the fun of play with/spoiling rotten some cute little babies and then send them back so you have to have the headaches of kids while she gets to enjoy just the fun part.
That picture thing didn't work properly for me, John Yates. How am I supposed to know what the cakes look like when I can only see the top half? Hmm? It's a good thing my son told me to click on them. Speaking of my son, you couldn't add a simple few thousand miles to your tour thing to come visit him and his little friends?? [mournful face]
Ahem.
#2 "How can we be out of dark brown icing?! [inspiration] Maybe chocolate syrup will work!"
I don't think that was your best effort, dear. You should have asked me what to do.
#3 "So many Baby's" what? And who snuck a piece before the picture was taken? Fess up, now...
#4 That's it -- frosting balloons should simply be banned. Also, they left out the 'the' after 'to'. That's all I'm going to say on that, since there are mothers present.
#5 Poor Jennifer's mom, accidentally posting a picture of a cake that says...that. Why is that picture even in the collection? I think Jennifer and John should go through the entire collection -- right NOW -- and make sure there aren't any other 'surprises' waiting for unsuspecting ladies who are asked to guest post on this blog thing. The *idea*!
For some reason I kept picturing Jen's mom as speaking like Glados in Portal. Also, I would totally go if there was one in San Antonio. I'd eat the cake even if it weren't sugar free *is diabetic*.
Don't grandcats count? Dang it. There was the argument I was planning on feeding my parents this Christmas (I even made the cat an amazon.com wishlist in case she needs a "baby"-shopping fix). Oh well.
I would totally come to your book thingy! But you aren't coming anywhere close to me. Maybe next time. And tell your mom to be careful what she wishes for: my mom wanted grandbabies, ended up with 5 of them within 3 years (from 3 sets of parents)- no she has teenagers descend on her every summer, eating her out of house and home!
I love this blog!!
mocking
Jen, Im sorry for you. Truly. Maybe you and jon could invest in one of those realistic baby dolls for your mom to hug and hold when she visits?
But on another note, I DYING to come to your *ahem* 'book party'? When you hit my town. I go around telling people ALLLL about it!
Cant wait!!
For those complaining TMI, I am so glad you have mothers who never unthinkingly say something that mortifies their children and should never have actually been mentioned by anyone in any universe..
That whole post was so spot-on typical mom. I want to be just like Jen's Mom when I grow up.
And hey, I had an Eat Me birthday cake this year, but it was a Mad Hatter's Tea Party theme.
I hope you're packing plenty of clean underwear for this trip thingy. It'll make your Mom very happy.
My brother and I never got the "when are you going to have babies" thing from my Mom. She deferred to my Grandma. I'll never forget the day my Grandma started in, and before I could take my first defensive breath my brother said, "Gee, Grandma, when are you going to break a hip? All the other Grandmas are breaking their hips. I don't have anything to say when all my friends are talking about their Grandmas' hips." Fortunately, she had strong bones and a wonderful sense of humor, took it well, and backed off for a while. Eventually, I spawned and took the heat off us both.
The best part of this post is that I DO plan on visiting my Mom after your "little cake party" so she can visit with her grandbabies!!! I'm so excited and can't wait!
Dear Mrs the Jen's mom,
My kids don't have a living grandmother; would you like to adopt me? My kids are all potty trained and the older two can make cakes. (As proven by the Dalek cakes at the Seattle stop of the last tour).
Love,
Your second Jen(na)
Apon seeing the first cake I swear I could hear Lionel Richie in the background.....
I would go, but my area no longer has a huge bookstore since Borders closed. :( It's so sad. And I've got too much to do to fit cake in. I know, right? Too much to do to make time for cake? What is wrong with me????
Nice to meet you, Jen's Mom!
So incredibly hilarious. I don't know how people can not find this funny.
Truly hilarious....laughed all the way. Ummm ya...clots made me gag an say ewwwwwww really loud. @M Dale. What a great idea about the wishlist. Ive made my mother a grandferrant with 6 ferrets. Oh they look soooo cute all dressed up.
Dear Mrs. Jen's Mom: I am trying to go to her book thing but the closest location to me is a little far to drive on a school night. My mom would have my hide if I kept her grandbaby out to late on a school night! And I would definitely stay away from the retelling of Jen's first experiences with womanhood. Embarrassment (even though well intended) never helps persuade the bringing forth of grandchildren.
I like how the reflection of the EAT ME cake photographer is visible in the cake lid.
Heh...
Dear Mrs Jen's Mom,
Be careful what you wish for--my Dad got on to me about grand-babies and I produced twins. Stick with writing these very funny posts and don't worry about Jen and her parties. She is a tough cupcake and can take a little rejection (especially since it ain't gonna happen!). I Howled and snorted Coke Zero at Sharyn's brother's sass back to Gramma. Too funny! Thanks for brightening my day.
hahahaha Loved this post!! Altho cake and period clots should NEVER been in the same post! :D Thanks for the laugh!
Hi Jen's Mom
Yes I will be visiting Jen's little party in Charlotte(ish). Interestingly enough a co-worker came to work and told me about the party (which she is going to) and lo and behold I was already rsvp'd so now I will know someone else there. :)
And clots...ew