Oh My Stars!
January 31, 2011 As I'm sure you've all heard, there was a bit of a dust-up recently over whether or not our astrology signs have changed. Betrayal, bewilderment, boredom...there was a veritable gamut of emotions running wild.
Fortunately, CNN has since assured the world that my not being a Taurus is total bull. Whew! However, just for fun, let's take a look at these "new" signs and how they might have changed our lives forever.
Or...not.
Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16
Capricorns are known to be obedient and dedicated. If you ask a Capricorn to do something, you can be sure it is going to get done...
...literally.Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11
Aquarius is represented by water, which fits this sign's creative, "free flow" personality.
"That'll be $28.95, please."Pisces is an emotional yet generous sign. These selfless individuals will give until it hurts.
Or until they run out of room.Aries: April 18 - May 13
Much like their symbol the ram, Aries are fearless creatures. They forge boldly ahead, letting no man, beast...
...or periwinkle border stand in their way.Taurus: May 13- June 21
Taurus is a sign that never backs down. This stubborn bull will stand her ground through all of life's challenges.
"Look, the writing on the order form says 'Blinday.' END OF STORY."Gemini is often of two minds, waiting to make a choice until the very last minute.
When it's over she'll know if she can write "happy" or not.Cancers are rooted in the past, home and hearth. You can trust a Cancer to feed you, mother you, clean you, feed you, love you...
...and feed you.And then maybe eat you.
Leo: Aug. 10- Sept. 16
Leos are very ambitious - shooting for the stars, taking on large projects, and sometimes getting in over their heads.
Or King Tut's, as the case may be.Virgo: Sept. 16 - Oct. 30
You can always count on the reliable Virgo to deliver steady, consistent results.
This is more of a virtue if they know how to spell.Libra: Oct. 30- Nov. 23
Libra has a clear sense of right and wrong, and is always a fair and impartial judge. However, Libra also craves communication and loves an opportunity to prove her intelligence.
Yes, thank you, Libra.Scorpio: Nov. 23- Nov. 29
Sharp-shooter Scorpio has no problem telling it like it is. Scorpio is honest, direct, and lays everything out in black and white.
Scorpio is usually free most Saturday nights.Sagittarius: Dec. 17- Jan. 20
Nothing can slow down a carefree Sagittarius. Her spontaneity and drive keep things fun and interesting:
...and also covered in SPRINKLES!!! Wheeee!Wreckiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17
Wreckiuchus likes to hide in plain sight, often going years before revealing himself to those closest to him.
Some skeptics say Wreckiuchus doesn't actually exist, but if you cross your eyes and stare really hard, we think you'll get the message.The message being that you look pretty silly with your eyes crossed, of course.
Thanks to Kailee M., Sarah C., Maggie B., Jinglei, Aaron, Jordan F., Niloufer R., Anony M., Heather & Mikki, Katie O., Elizabeth, Stina, & Valerie M., who should all look before they leap, take advantage of sudden windfalls, and explore new opportunities today. And then maybe buy their favorite bloggers a snack. (We like Bugles.)
Reader Comments (80)
hahahaha this was great. I'm glad I haven't changed from being a Scorpio. It describes me so much better than a Libra. ugh.
I almost commented that you had the dates wrong on the Zodiacs, then I went back and reread it... Very clever!
WV:Viract-Apparently sometimes I o-viract!
Also ... do you suppose that overstuffed baby was REALLY named Petter?
I'm that new wrecky sign, which is so appropriate. I can't decorate cakes to save my life, I have eye problems, and I am a rather private person.
I'm also clumsy, so I do wreck things by accident.
Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
When, oh when, is it appropriate to stick a doll head and arms on a cake???
I apparently have two signs. I now get to show off my intelligence to you as a Libra with the no-holds-barred black-and-white delivery of a Scorpio. This could be fun. Of course, if you combine this with my original sign of "I like sprinkles" Sagitarius, there could be much hilarity in site.
actually, Susie, *maybe*...the style of the date (both the lettering and the period between the dates) is a pretty big sign that this is a European cake...so yeah, the kid's name might just be Petter.
It also means that the kiddo in question was born on February 7, not July 2.
Great post! LOL!
Yeah, everyone in my family is astrologically screwed up now. I don't know who I am anymore *sob*sob*
I was a Leo and now I'm on the cusp of Cancer. So, I guess now I'm very ambitious and shoot for the stars when I feed, mother, clean, feed, love, and feed my children. Then I get in over my head when I eat them.
That Virgo must have carved potatoes instead of pumpkins for Halloween.
wv: fronsts: Frosting fonts.
Haha! I love them. My mom's birthday often falls on Mother's Day, so the 'Gemini' cake is actually rather appropriate for her. The Cancer baby cake is frightening, though. Yikes!
This is one of my all-time favorite posts... GO PISCES!!! YAY!!!!
w/v: ampliy - I wouldn't want to ampliy that those cakes are wrecktastic, but they are!
So I was taken more by my first knowledge of the new dates- Thank you Cakewrecks for educating me!- than the wrecks, initially.
If you knew my Scorpio mom and were trying to imagine her as a Libra, you would understand.
I was worried about the date gap and THEN saw the new "sign" and had to laugh, my dad the cake decorator (Wiltons ala the 70's) lands smack in the middle. Very Nice. Now I want to make the cake pictured here for his next birthday
Gosh, the Scorpio one is so right on. Thanks for a hearty laugh. I'm saving that photo to email to "friends" on their own blinday's.
I believe the last one was done by a new wreckerator who has had too much experience removing graffiti from walls at school during detention. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, go back and look at the sides of the cake. Squint if necessary.)
the last cake might make you cross eyed but it says or almost says happy on the side.
I just thought of a slogan for the bakery that made the "Cancer" cake: "Everything's better with a big slice of Petter!"
Now, about the potential astrological shake-up. Let's all take a deeeeeeeep cleansing breath and balance our chakras -- or our checkbooks, or whatever... Chances are your sign didn't change -- some articles say it only applies if you're born in 2009 or after, others say it doesn't alter western astrology, others say the stars are a guideline, but solstices and other stuff really set the dates. (Thank you, Google.)
I think the new sign is an opportunity to pick and choose which horoscope you want to believe today. If your "old" sign suggests you're about to be hit with an asteroid/plague of locusts/amoebic dysentary and the "new" horoscope suggests an upcoming lotto win, I know which one I'd go with. As I stayed a Leo in both the old and the new system, I'm stuck looking for asteroids -- or Cake Wrecks falling from the sky, which could only improve these cakes. Yikes!
I am a Taurus and I love being a Taurus and if they try to make me an Aries I'm just going to change my blimday. So there.
WV: Scend. I'll scend you a picture of my blimday cake!
Astrology is my cupcake-cake. *ptooie!* Except not, since cupcake-cakes are actual, real things...
Anyway, that Sphinx cake is TERRIFYING. Oh mah gawd.
points to "Capricorn" for some really lovely lettering work. :)
I don't really follow horoscopes, but I have to confess that I'm not happy going from a Capricorn to a Sagittarius. I went from a sign that suits to one that doesn't!
That said... yup, love the Capricorn cake.
It's sad that I can look at the Aquarius cake and think "that's not so bad" because I've so much worse here!
I bet that Pisces cake made some kid VERY happy. And the parents saved on birthday gifts
Taurus: Nice lettering, but why is there a second border? And it's hard to tell if that's "blinday" or "blirday". Given the pinkish tones of the top of the cake, it looks like it's already been scraped and redone, so they could've redone it again
Cancer: I know there's concerns about childhood obesity, but that's getting ridiculous! (And isn't that Feb 7? So why is it in July? Nevermind)
Virgo: what is a "happy october" anyway? At least the cakes look nice even if they don't make sense
Libra: i think they judged the other cakes horrendous, and opted for this show of good taste (choc dipped strawberries!)
Scorpio: ROFLMAO! **LOVE** this one! I so have to use this on a friend for their next birthday!
Sagittarius: Sometimes, sprinkles are not a plus!
Wreckiuchus: It looks like the airbrush imitated a hose flinging itself around. It managed to write a word to express it's joy at being let free to romp madly
"This stubborn bull will stand her ground . . ." Have they changed the sex of bulls too?
Have you tried the new caramel Bugles? They will be my undoing. Mmmmm.
Petter? Peter? Eh?
lol - at Scorpio being only 6 days, so the "happy" new sign of Wreckiuchus could make its debut!! Kudos!!
I'm glad I'm still a Pisces no matter what the wackos say. That said, I'll give something... Send me your address, I'll send Bugles. Once I get them off my fingers. They make lovely nails.
I rather like the happy birthday with all the sprinkles. My husband would be overthemoon to get such a cake. I'll have to remember that next January. Tahnk you for inspiration!
~~Di
My astrologer assures me that this sign-changing nonsense is just an astronomer trying to make himself important. That having been said, the descriptions of the signs were very accurate. Nice to know you folks have a good solid knowledge of the subject matter! Alkmic, y'all!
"And then maybe eat you"
HA HA HA HA HA!!
*sigh*
I'm STILL a flotsam covered Pisces.
Hee hee, "blinday" reminded me of the recent 30 Rock episode where Ken, Jenna and Kelsey Grammer were scamming the ice cream store!
I've barely come to terms with being labeled a Libra, there's no way I'm going to accept being a Virgo. There just has to be a better horoscope system, perhaps a dessert based one. Being born in late September, I would most likely be a slice of warmed-up apple pie, though sometimes I'd envy October and their pumpkin roll with cream cheese filling.
I too am a Taurus and always will be. I am not an Aries. I'm a bull by golly!
I love the ellipsis on the "Grooms Cake". So unnecessary and weird.
The corpulent baby is also pretty spectacular.
--kate
I see Snow White isn't just lolling about eating bon bons now that she is married to Prince Charming. She went out and got a job as a traffic cop.
The roses on the birthday/mother's day cake are perfect!
My BF thinks fat babies are adorable, but changed his mind when I showed him the baby cake.
Even though the periwinkle boarder did not stop them... at least the Wreckerator spelled "Congratulations" correctly. That's an accomplishment.
As for Octuber... I feel almost like I need to pull out the crock pot and make stew. Or go start a round of chemo. Not quite sure yet.
WV: hylog What wreckerators imbibe before attacking random cakes with an airbrush.
"Octuber" isn't misspelled. Those cakes were obviously presented in celebration of the birthday of a potato with eight arms.
Love the Gemini cake and I think my Mom would appreciate it. Her birthday is close to Mother's Day, so we've been known to do a combined celebration...lol!
Babycake... you got the creepiest little babycake...
Hahahha. That baby cake reminded me of the movie Seven with Brad Pitt.
"What's in the baaaaaaax????" an overstuffed baby cake! oh god whhhhhyyyyyyy?????
Petter's not fat! He just needs his diaper changed, really, really badly!
Oh, well, poo. I like being a Scorpio, sharp and direct. With 'the change' to Libra, I'm now Judge Judy. ('cept without the robes and the TV show)
The baby cake looks like Mr. Creosote's love child!
Waffer thin mint?!
Speaking as a former Libra and newly minted Virgo (ugh) I kan spel much betre than that.
Capricorn: This one has it all: attractive cake, passable icing penmanship, "extraneous quotes" AND it's literal! What's not to like?
Aquarius: $28.95? I think Aerosmith said it best when they sang, "Dream on, dream on..."
Pisces: How is Snow White supposed to ride that bike in a long skirt? The dwarves can get a lot more mining done with their new truck, though. It's always nice to see classic stories updated.
Aries: I'm pretty sure 'congratulations' (oh, the irony of correct spelling under such circumstances) is written in marker on the cover. This might win the labor-saving award for 2011.
Taurus: Blinday, already? Where does the time go -- I haven't made out cards or anything. Maybe it's supposed to be Blingday, and the recipient was about to score some major ice.
Gemini: I think the conjunction of 'birthday' and 'Mother's (or Father's) day' has to be the holiday ripoff to top them all. I would vote to move the birthday celebration so that each gets its due.
Cancer: (If ever there was a sign that needed a different name...) "We join this delivery, already in progress. The baby is pre-dressed to protect sensitive viewers."
Yes, 'Petter' is a name. No, I don't know why or what it means, I just know that I have heard of people being called that. Perhaps this child is destined to become a veterinarian. Or a breeder. Before that, very 'popular' in school.
Leo: Ya learn something new every day -- so Tut wore specs! Or else he was an early incarnation of Harry Potter...
Virgo: If my birthday was in Octuber, I know either of these cakes would make me feel downright special. "If we're all special, that's the same as saying no one is." -- Dash
Libra: Yes, clearly labeling things is important. Why do I think this reception featured assigned seating and name tags.
Scorpio: If Scorpios had Libra's clarity of communication, this cake would read, "Don't invite me to another party of yours ever again."
Saggitarius: The theme of this cake is, "Some joker loosened the top on the sprinkles container. Hardy har har har."
Wreckiuchus: Pronounced: 'Wrecky-yuck-us.' Wreckerators born under this sign are really into subliminal messages. They also get really happy when they get a new toy, er, tool, such as an airbrush. Also inordinately fond of the color pink.
On the first cake, it looks like they attempted to fix - or do something to - the printing on the word "Write."
"Does dat belong der?" "Dunno. Lemme see what da cake looks like wi'doudit." "Nah, put it back."
My mom's a Cancer...I'm kind of scared now.
Bravo! A theme carried-through to its logical conclusion.
...*squints*...
...happy?
...just happy, in pink? Well, not LITERALLY happy in pink...
The word verification is "clingla"; that's funny because I am tired.
Interesting astrology related cakes.
My goodness people, read the article linked in this post. Your signs did not change if you follow the Western Zodiac, which most (if not all) of you do. You are still what you thought you are.
The Octuber cake, maybe someone celebrating a possible world record? http://www.worldamazingrecords.com/2010/09/world-biggest-potato-set-world-records.html
wv: yessoid = otherwise known as an unfilterd, unprotected, unsecure computer system
I am glad to be a gemini. I just eat two cakes. One for me and one for my twin out there somewhere. Yum!
I am a Libra by the standard system, and a Virgo by the Wrecky system. Either way, all of these cakes are HILARIOUS.
-Jacob
wv: bevers. These cakes look like they were decorated by bevers.
I'm just like my Dad, a typical Virgo. Virginal or vaginal! 100 million people a day, perfectionist? actor, clown and all round Hard! Working! BUSY BODY! LOL! Oh yeah, and in the chinese year I am a RAT!
Can I please have a complementary copy of little cake wrecks! mailed to me in the post! With no pages stuck together! LOL!
I can't be the only one disappointed that the Scorpio cake didn't have 8 o's
Tomorrow's my Blinday! I want a cake with princesses and dinosaurs, but I'm afraid all I'm going to get is "You are sooooooooooo old."
Sigh...