Thursday
Aug122010
Gorilla Tactics
August 12, 2010 Customer: "Hi, there. I'd like a cake that looks something like this:
...Can you do that?"Wreckerator: "Oh sure! We do these all the time. You want some sprinkles on it? Might add a little something!"
Customer: "Er, no."
Wreckerator: Okey-doke-aroony! [folds arms and nods head, Jeannie-style]
::Doink!::
Customer [recoiling in horror]: Holy Schnikes! What is that?Wreckerator: Not quite perfect? Here, I'll try again.
::Doink!::
Customer: Um. Maybe this was a bad idea...Wreckerator: No! Wait! I can do this!
::Doink::
Customer: I'm pretty sure that's a pig...
::Doink!::
Customer: Riiight. Well, I think we're done here...
Wreckerator: Wait! Forget the monkey! [shuffling photos] How about these lovely palm trees?
Customer: Well, I really wanted the monkey...
Wreckerator: [straining]
::KER-DOINK!::
Customer: You know, I think I'll just grab a box of cake mix and can of frosting instead.Thanks to Tiffany, Jenelle R., Sam L., Sabra L., and Trish S., who are all cheeky monkeys, because I say so.
Reader Comments (74)
Those are some awkwardly placed bananas!!
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The googly eyes really are quite disturbing.
Is that a banana you're holding, or are you just happy to see me?
That first monkey looks pretty good to me.. (unless it was really supposed to be an exact copy of the top one)
Heck, even the final cake (with the palm trees) looks pretty good, except for the very top. Pretty sure the blue tier is intentionally "wavy", and the whole effect does actually look like a beach sunset.
Or maybe it's just me.
how freaking cute is that palm tree cake? love it!
Oh my! Poor Maksim. I would imagine that cake would scare a little two year old.
OMG-- You've got to be kidding me! Why do we (as the customers) even bother anymore? Unless you want to pay a small fortune, you're going to get a wreck, or so it seems. Those monkeys were really kinda scary... Hate it for the birthday boy-- He'll be scarred for life!
The gorilla cakes will give me nightmares. Monkeys, even without the wings, bug me. I did like the GOOD palm tree cake, but the wreck was hideous --- even I could have done a better job!
TSUNAMI CAKE! RUN!
The first cake is disturbing! I mean, the monkey has breasts and an awkwardly placed banana.
And why would palm tree trunks be purple? I agree it's well-done in general, but the purple "pebbles?" and trunks make it a wreck to me.
The first wreck has a t-shirt with an A on it. Was it a failed attempt at an http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/0/221/177744-aiai_large.jpg" rel="nofollow">Aiai cake?
Am I missing something? I don't see the problem with the palm tree cakes, especially the 2nd to last one. They are very immpressionistic.
The nose on that second monkey looks like he might have done a little too much cocaine..! *shudder*
Wow. I was pretty creeped out by the original monkey cake, you know the guy rocking the 'X-Files black oil' look :P
They only got scarier...
Now where else on the web could I find a zombie monkey cake? Thank you!!
Oook... the eyes on the first monkey remind me of aliens... although otherwise it's pretty good. The second monkey has no nose. Or maybe the nose is the thing at the bottom of it's head and it has no mouth. I have NO idea. Notice the subtle dead monkey to the left of the middle one. And unfortunately, that monkey loos like it is about sixty percent poo. The third monkey is... interesting! It's like curious george after eating three turkeys and then getting drunk. The pig looks like an evil mario nemisis. Look! It can shoot cannon balls out of it's snout! The fourth monkey's terribleness can barely be put to words. Squished snout, googly eyes, poo body, and frog-like position. The palm trees are actually quite pretty! Now the last cake... ok first of all the top is brownish blue. I think that means that the baker was very aware of pollution. Another thing... too much frosting!
Holy Schnikes! You must be from Sheboygan!
Those perfectly done HARD to do cakes just make life harder for EVRYONE.
Ok.. Well, the first monkey cake is quite scary, but the rest of the monkeys manage to be even more frightening!
OMG those pigs!!!! Truly amazing that there is so much wreakiness out there for us to enjoy.
I actually really liked the last palm tree cake!
If the baker had made the top prettier I think it would have been a really well done cake. I'm pretty sure the frosting is supposed to look like that for waves.
And its especially pretty good for not having any fondant used.
I didn't know Dr. Moreau made cakes as well - gawd, these are scary. I'm not keen on fake monkeys at the best of times (I had a toy one that I'm sure used to poke me in the eye deliberately...)but these are downright creepy.
What is that bear-monkey-frog thing after the pig cake? I mean, what kind of animal is that thing? I'm still puzzled!
If the Wreckerator was like a genie, he/she would be like one Hanna-Barbara's worst characters (from the "Jeannie" cartoon), the bumbling conjurer Babu, who would say "Razzle Dazzle!" and screw up every bit of magic he ever did. I hated that show when I was a kid, but I love Cake Wrecks!
Poor monkeys.
I actually liked the palm tree/sunset cake in fondant - really pretty, and the second one... well.. other than the oddly colored top? - not bad.
Sorry they didn't have a monkey, but did they really ask for one?
The pig appears to be a crossover with Q-bert... funny how Jen didn't see that?
~~Di
#1 is ok, except for the E.T. eyes and the 'banana'. Good thing the wreckerator left the peel on, so that no one (except about 99% of viewers) would get the wrong idea.
#2 looks like a mouse after about 50 cups of coffee. Why does it have a spare face?
#3 CCCP (cupcake cake, patooie!). I can make out the smiley mouth, but what is going on between that and the nose -- a simian vortex of doom?
#4 Mrs. Arable: "Could you make me a cake that looks like a spring pig?" Wreckerator (who has never been near a farm): "Ok..." (Thinking to self:) "Spring...pig? Oh well, whatever the customer wants. I'll make another one to go with it, just to mess with people who read CW."
#5 A tragic genetic engineering experiment involving Curious George, a frog and a pancake. Where is PETA when you need them?
#6 A tad Pythonesque, and therefore ok. The foot is missing, though.
#7 Ah, 'Tidal Wave at Sunset.' Such a nice, peaceful disaster in the making. Looks like the wreckerator grabbed a paint can (to use for the form) and about 150 cans of frosting. Ulp.
I must say as wrecky as these are, the first wreck has an almost nicely done banana, the coloring looks real. The angle is weird, though.
Is that a monkey frog?
I don't think that the monkey with the 'A' on it is that bad. Shrugs.
You know, I think I actually like the 2nd monkey and the last monkey rather than the example monkey. The example looks like an alien monkey with its HUGE BLACK EYES OF SOULLESS TERROR.
The others are just goofy looking. Except for the middle one; he looks like his face got caught in a steamroller.
The sunset cake...you know, you're supposed to mix the paste food coloring IN the frosting, not apply it ON the cake (at least I think so)...it's pretty arty though. Maybe nice to look at but not to eat?
LOL, wreck on, dear wreckorators! You bring us such joy.
Are we sure that second cake isn't a meerkat pretending to be a monkey? And the umm... "pig"...I was leaning toward a Snowth (the pink guys with Bip Bippadotta in the Muppet Mahnamahna sketch).
wv plizip Plizip up your lips if you don't want to eat these cakes!
I love these comparison cakes. Can the decorators tell they screwed up, or are they extremely delusional?
I laughed out loud when I saw Maksim's cake. It's a hilarious cross between a deranged man and his creepy monkey.
LOL you always manage to keep it fresh! love the wreckerator genie....
btw, customer is asking for trouble with the ugly gorilla cake to start with.
wv: waten. The customer was tired of waten for the wreckerator to get it right so she'd just figure she'd make her own cake.
So the first cake may be an "inspiration" cake, but it creeps me out worse than the wrecks!
Did you notice the decapitated friend of the monkey in the first try photo? Because that's what happens to monkey cakes when they are bad--they get their head's cut off and surrounded by weird looking palm trees. And another full size monkey cake who can point and laugh at him.
I love your blog, it makes me smile everyday! Thanks!
Hey, I did a wedding cake for a friend like the first palm tree cake, only mine was 4 tiers tall! It was based off something she found on the web. The "pebbles" and tree trunks were grey in the original, but when photographed, really do look purple! As for the monkey cakes - oh my! We should just close our eyes and walk away.
VW: blystea - The decorators of the monkey cakes must have had a blystea on their finger.
3rd Doink down: Spiderpig, Spiderpig, does whatever a spiderpig does...
Isn't that first cake from one of Tori Spelling's kids' first birthday? (1) Make your own joke here about that, and 2) don't ask me how I knew, but if I remember correctly, they thought it turned out a little scary as well).
wv: pairthen-- A two-for-one sale on ugly cakes? Make it a pairthen.
When I got to the second picture, I yelled "OH HOLY SHNIKES!!" Then I scrolled a bit more and read that you had said the same thing. I feel honored to share the exclamation with you. :D
Whoever's second birthday it is, is going to have some serious nightmares involving killer lazy-eyed monkeys. And I really can't figure out what that first monkey is doing. I was gonna go see a Rated R movie tonight, but I think I've had my fix. Thanks.
Single Dad Laughing (danoah.com)
All the monkey cakes, even the first one, creep me out!
But that last tree/sunset cake, I would buy. Put a nice topper to cover up the one funky area and that is a dern cute cake!
OMG, those were the scariest looking "monkeys" I have ever seen. If I presented that cake at my 2 year old's birthday he would have left his party screaming!
This might have been the first time I disliked to "good" examples as much as the wrecks. That very first gorilla is creepy, and since when are palm tree trunks purple? I like the colors on the beach wreck much better, although the style wasn't executed well.
wv: coggiest - The decorator tips were the coggiest I'd ever seen.
I think the 3rd pic looks like my Jr. High Art teacher.
Y'all do realize that the first palm tree cake is supposed to be the photographed inspiration for the second one, right? Just checking. :) By the way, the second palm tree cake is hideous. Don't even make me start on the monkeys. [Shiver]
You call that decapitated "monkey" head in a box disturbing? Ha! Cuz that was totally Mario's decapitated head in a box.
I love the last one with the sunset and palm trees. Gives me an escape from work the the beach of my dreams.
word verification: ruclo, the small quiet cousin to ruckus.
Interesting! I just made a gorilla cake for my son! You be the judge: http://www.flickr.com/photos/genamex/4885676853/
I love the way the 'seagulls' in the last cake are all upside down.