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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Apr022010

Lamb Fleeces

It's time once again to look at that most Wrecky of cake traditions: the lamb cake. This cake seems to be dependent on either shredded coconut and jelly beans:

This face may haunt my dreams.

...or an assortment of flotsam just baffling enough to distract you from the fact that there's a pipe cleaner glued on for its nose:

If the pipe cleaner doesn't work for you, there's also some handy curling ribbon dental floss. And tulips. Growing out of the lamb's back. You know, just 'cuz.

Here's one inspired by Sesame Street:


And then one by Elm Street:

This silent menace poses the question: do you eat it, or does it eat you?

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Yeah, like that.



Now, [singing] awwww...freak out!!

Whoah, Nellie! What's worse: the clumpy yellow and pink sponges, the oddly finger-like "legs" jammed in the icing, or the fact that *I* don't have crazy window displays like these in my town?

Natalie S., Angela R., Melissa M., JB., Amanda M., & Kyra S., I think we all know the answer to that.

- Related Wreckage: Chick Chicky Boom

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Reader Comments (122)

I think the Elm Street one is pretty cute...though eyes would have been a nice addition!

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelli @ RTSM

I kind of like the one you said is from Elm Street. It helps if you squint a little when you look at it, or look at it in your peripheral vision.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEG

"Do you still hear the lambs screaming, Clarice?" -- from Silence of the Lambs. 'nuff said. *GRIN*

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRev. Allyson

The Elm Street one is the worst!

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

Regretsy has a lamb cake posted this morning. Etsy seller's caption: MATURE lamb cake with simulated bleeding, ready for decapitation.

http://www.regretsy.com/2010/04/01/lamb-chopped/

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarjory

The third one reminds me of Tammy Fey Baker.

Ewwwwwwwwwww.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

And to think that years ago I passed up the opportunity to become an apprentice baker and cake decorator... I thought it would be boring... I never knew that they were high all day at work. What ever they are on? I WANT SOME!!!!

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLady of the loch

Seriously, Jen, I don't you should put THIS much wrongness in one post. I think I just overloaded. What IS it about holidays and this insanity.

Note to Wreckerators: you should NOT put non-foodsafe items on a cake. Last I checked, pipe cleaners are NOT foodsafe.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

OK I'm confused!
Sponges on cake? Apart frow the Ew! That's an April Fool's day cake, right? On an Easter Cake? Double wreckie points to that baker!

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDrawn to Caricature

The last one looks like it was crossed with a Dachshund (weenie dog). Seriously...look at the lenght of that thing.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDidda

Wow theres alot going there..nice eyes on the third one

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauren Borquez

The "afraid" one makes me laugh out loud every time I look at it. I'm at work, so I have to stop looking at it. But I can't resist. Those eyes!

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last one... his face has a holier-than-thou expression on it.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

What I find horrifing is with the "Lamb with Sponges,"... there is ANOTHER ONE off to the side!!! (Is that how you spell sponge? It just doesn't look right and I am too mesmerized by the Easter Bunny Butts that have adorned my reception desk here at work to spell check.)

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterReceptionist Row

...or is it being eaten?

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDennis

The Elm Street one looks like it's covered in tortellini!

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The second one:

Forget the pipe cleaner nose... WTF are the things stabbed into its eye sockets to make its eyes??????

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermimi

I agree with Didda about that last lamb. Do you have any idea how many chops you could get off that sucker if it was real?! A butcher's dream right there.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCrystal

In Russia, evil lamb cake eats YOU!!!

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hahahaha...ScaredChocoLamb is teh awesome. I bet its eyes follow you around the room.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

I...I kinda like the elm street one. It just needs a bit more of a face and maybe a different frosting tip on the swirls?

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLady Rocketpants

I like the "Elm Street" one.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin

When I first saw the Elm Street one, I thought it was covered with tortellini.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLesa

My mom always tried to make lamb cakes for Easter. Every single year the ears would fall off. I would never eat it, as it kind of scared me - an ear-less lamb.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterhollandk

WTH. Seriously.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkjl

Anyone seen the movie 'Black Sheep'? "Get ready for the Violence of the Lambs!"......yup, that about sums it up today.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Ewe.

How did you get photos of my fourth birthday party?

http://doublyhappy.blogspot.com/2010/04/my-own-cake-wreck.html

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Hot Cocoa

eyeless Elm Street--what is that fleece made of??? ABC gum or something?

ew. unappetizing. and the poor lamb that's been impaled by silk flowers. that had to hurt--look at the angle!

the scared one is hysterical. but chocolate fleece?

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What, no one has posted about how Baaaahd these are?
(OK, now that I wrote that, a bunch of posts awaiting moderation ahead of this one will have that same bad pun.)

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

In addition to all the wreckiness Jen pointed out, the second lamb's eyes are made of CLOVES!!!! Technically, they're edible, but REALLY - CLOVES? The wreckerator doesn't have any other item (say, icing perhaps?) that would create the same effect? Really?!!? Boggles the mind...

WV: witudac - witudac wreckerator put all that stuff on the cake?

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is it just me or does that last one look like a pig in sheep's clothing?

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrittany Forsyth

It's too bad that nobody thought to stick a cigar into the No. 3's lamb's mouth; then it'd be a perfect replica of Groucho Marx.

"If you were a man, you'd knock my teeth out. If you were half a man, you'd knock half my teeth out. And if you were a woman, we could dance the night away..."

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBlue Jean

The brown one looks like a frightened poodle.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterToday's Random

Every year on the buffet at my grandmother's house there was a coconut covered lamb cake. I usually didn't spend much time admiring it but even though my grandmother and aunts made this ONCE a year, I know that EVERY year it actually looked like a lamb. I wonder what they were doing wrong...

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

@mimi -- That second one has whole cloves for its eyes! Scary stuff.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLizM

so sad... was waiting for the "silence of the lambs" cake but it never came!

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

I like the chocolate one. The body is pretty good. The face just needs work.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

That first one looks like one of those stress relieving squeezy heads! Quite disturbing all around!!

Submitted for your hilarity, the example:

http://www.thediscoverystore.co.uk/product_details.aspx?id=255

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermichelle

Ditto on the movie black sheep-its the first thing that came to my mind after looking at these pictures

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

The one with the pipe cleaner nose, I believe its eyes are cloves. Edible, yes....

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The last one has a hoity-toity expression on its face last seen adorning the dial of Hyacinth Bucket.
As for the Elm St. lamb - covered in snails, no eyes, but a cute little sprig of blossoms in its wooly/snaily fringe.
I'm now imagining a number of little kiddies choking on the Sponge lamb's flotsam, horrified adults rushing from one to another, administering Heimlich maneuvers left, right and centre....111111

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermorriganscrow

Baaaaarking mad!

someone just mentioned mint sauce to that brown one

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The other day I wrote in saying that those rabbit cakes were the worst I've ever seen, even after months of reading this site. I stand corrected today. These cakes were designed by people who have obviously never seen a lamb--as in, the actual animal. That's all I can figure.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm glad Marjory posted the lamb cake from Regretsy already.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOstrakos

OMG I think that first cake was submitted by my ex-in-laws! My ex-MIL and BIL both made that cake!

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Now I have Tom Smith's Death Sheep from Hell song stuck in my head. (http://www.tomsmithonline.com/lyrics/fenton.htm)

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlisagems

Elm Street?? A tortellini lamb is NOT cute.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteri am leticia moore

When I was an exchange student in Belgium, I went to the confirmation party of one of the cousins. I was surprised and impressed when the girl cut off the head of her beautiful, professional, lamb cake and blood spurted forth. It was truly a sight to behold. I always tell my children about it because I so enjoy their screams of horror.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Ok, the one under Elm Street looks like it's made from raw ground beef. Or is it just me?

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

There's something vaguely uncomfortable about eating cakes that look like cute little animals, or babies, or faces... *tries not to think about the armadillo cake in Steel Magnolias*

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterW.Peabody

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