Easter Wreck Round Up
April 11, 2009 Man, I've had a rough day. Really, I'm beat. Good Friday was anything but. Plus, do you guys have any idea how hard it is to crank out this kind of quality, high-class entertainment* day after day after day? There's all the typing, and sitting, and mouse-clicking, and more typing, and sometimes I even have to look up words like "yarmulke" in the dictionary. Yeesh!
What's that? Get on with the Wrecks already? Fine. But don't expect my usual verve and vigor; I'm feelin' a little more Sturm und Drang. And grumpy. Definitely grumpy.
First, here's more proof that if you look good enough, no one will care what you say:
Soak it all up, Allison H., 'cuz "Sping" here is the cutest character you're gonna see today. Which is fine by me. Bah. Cuteness - it's just so...cute. Totally not conducive to a good funk-fest.
Yeah, so let Cute Overload have their Muzzle Puffs; we have Moldy Puffs:
And what are you smirking about, Mr. Pickle-Ears? Didn't you get the memo? I'm in a bad mood, so you're supposed to look grumpy. Like these guys:
Ok, now we're veering into territory that's more tragic than grumpy. [shrug] Works for me.
'Course it's a rabbit. See the white ears? And the artificial "Easter" grass on top? Really, I don't see how the decorator could have made it more obvious for you. [eye roll]
How about a couple of coiled yellow snakes to get you in the Easter spirit?
Ssssssmashing.
[Glaring beady-eyed] Maybe it's the mood talking, but I want to kick this cake. That bunny is way too ugly to be that stinkin' happy. He also appears to have laid a "chocolate egg," if you catch my drift.
[sigh] I know, I know, I'm spreading my bad mojo all over the place here. Maybe I just need to blow off a little steam by playing Impale the Flotsam on the Easter cake:
Or I suppose I could look on the bright side: This isn't my birthday cake:
Yowie.
Ok, yeah, that helps a little.
I could go on, but I think you have more than enough Wreckage to tide you over for today. And remember, send me some NICE Easter cakes for tomorrow, or else I'll...I'll...uh...have nothing to post tomorrow. Yeah. (Note to self: Work on "threatening" tone.)
Thanks to Bree L., Karolin R., Lysa, Megan G., Jennifer J., Darla D., & Mianne for today's finds.
*I know you can't tell, but I totally typed that with a straight face.
Reader Comments (100)
dear oh dear... I totally understand the crankiness and whinging.. BUT tomorrow brings SWEETS! And it's a good thing too. ( those broken chocolate bar ears - OY - I'm whinging too!)
Easter brings sweets.. You'll be back to your happy joking self.
Happy Easter!
Can someone explain to me *what* that blue blob in the last picture is supposed to be?
-Maria
Ok I think CW#3 may haunt my dreams. That was one scary bunny. And my 10 year old said the one with the whit eears looked like a frog wearing lipstick. I have to agree with her.
These cakes are appalling. Great work Jen, you brighten my day!
Those "peeps" look more like yellow "poops"
Wreck #6: that's not a rabbit. It's a FISH.
oh wow ! were to start? mutant space rabbits! piles of green/blue snot! yellow poo piles with eyes!! and mis-spelling cake wreck heaven!Plus hilarious comments? Do you do stand up?I laugh so much i nearly wet myself!!
We are SO thankful there is nothing bloody. No bleeding bunnies. No bleeding lambs. Thank you.
Those are some very bizarre bunnies. Thank you for your wit. Without it we would just be groaners.
Cake #3 has got to be Bunnicula, the vampire rabbit. No Easter Bunny about it.
Aanyway, it's a pretty day out today so have a Happy Sping!
These are amazing. Why does that poor girl have a gigantic blue blob in the middle of her birthday/easter cake???
aw come on jen, you can't tell me that NONE of those cakes got you to smile! the one with the pickle ears is so bad, its funny. no no, i take that back. the multi-colored friend who looks like he's holding his breath is so bad its hilarious!!
Oh, and #3 is doing a bad impression of a pineapple. A brown pineapple.
Those are just bizarre. Why would anyone think someone might buy those?
Good ones! Certainly puts my in the perfect Easter spirit!!
The sphinx-like rabbit with the pink head made me laugh.
I used to get a sticker catalog from a place called T-K Graphics that made stickers, notecards and certificates for sci fi/fantasy fans. One of the stickers was "A new low in popular culture" with a graphic of smiley faces placed on unicorn bodies where the head should be.
The pink bunny head looks much like those smiley face unicorns.
Bun #5 - how hard is it to make ears & whiskers?!?! Looks like someone raided the "stale leftover candy" bin. Who in their right mind could think *that* looks acceptable to sell?!?! ***shakes head***
Wow these are bad!
Well CW-8 is obviously a lab bunny! How else do you explain the shaved head and glowing red eyes?
And CW-4 looks like he's shrugging his shoulders "meh... I'm an ugly bunny, what can I do?"
For the first time in my life I truly understand the meaning of "Holy Crap!"
wow. lol i have NO words for these ...
: //
Someone has to be doing this stuff on purpose.
what. the. heck.
: //
anyhoo.. HAPPY EASTER JEN! :))
there should totally be a button that we can rate these cakes, how about three ratings one for cuteness, one for wreckiness, and on for just plain freakiness, 'cuz that "bunny" with the white lamb-like body and almost magenta head just topped out on my freakiness chart.
Have a blessed Easter!
Love mean brown bunny's swirly legs and pineapple body...so festive.
The red Twizzler whiskers are gorgeous... I mean so lifelike... almost thought that was a real rabbit.
The blue blob? Well, bunny had a little too much flax seeds and trash can punch that day. At a crazy bunny party.
Pink bunny head = stressed little guy who drank too much Pepto.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
That sphinx rabbit has put me in the mood to make an opinicus out of buttercream and licorice allsorts.
I don't know if other people have been saying this--I hope I'm adding my voice to a growing chorus, but I don't think it's cricket to call decorated cookies, "cake." CCCs are one thing, but a cookie is nothing more than a canvas - it could just as well be a piece of foam core, from the decorating perspective.
So the last "grumpy" bunny looks more like a mouse.
And the white bunny with the red face is terrifying. It looks either like he's been holding his breath for a long time, or he's gone psycho and is filled with anger (with a smile on his face!).
Thanks for the laughs, I hope you feel better! Happy Easter!
Pickle-Ears wins Spring's
"Miss Congeniality,"
smirks at loser cakes.
H.R. Puff-n-Bunny almost has deviled-egg eyes with black-olive pupils!
And how can you have Easter without Bloo Poo?
jonathon ross just twittered your link expect some new visitors :)
http://twitter.com/Wossy
I think these are possibly the worst (or best?) wrecks that have ever been posted. I wasn't aware that hallucinogenic drugs were part of Easter. Of course, it would explain a lot of things, and not just about these cakes. I'm glad they're all grouped in one post - it's best to keep them contained.
I work at a preschool, so I think I'm speaking with great authority when I say that the bunny with the chocolate bar ears looks like something a preschool art teacher would make with the kids. On the last day of class before Easter break. When the art cupboard has been stolen by aliens and she's really getting desperate.
why do i feel like i would take entirely too much glee in hacking up pickle-ears?
Lol you're amusing when you're angry :P
The cake makers were probably drunk though...
The "Impale the Flotsam" cake looks like an F5 tornado hit EasterLand.
And I didn't expect to be so darn angry with confections today. Thanks a lot, Angry Jen. I think you need one of those comically oversized boxing glove sets and an unwitting participant...
www.captainjackmakesport.blogspot.com
What the hell is that blue thing on the last cake????? Yeesh...
You really just made my day! I'm going to Twitter this too!
What's up with the green ears on the rabbit cake? Does he have an infection?
And the blob cake..yuk.
wv: fessions: Someone has some fessions to make about these cakes.
~Amy B
I think that blue blob on the last wreck is a swimming pool. Look at the bunny. He's getting ready to dive in. Can't you see it?
Well, I can only speak for myself, but nothing says "Sping" and Easter like a bunny pool party ...
*shaking head*
"Cake" #1: Yes. Sping is cute. But just under the wire.
#2: Purely diabolical. Don't trust it; there's a bomb inside. (And if there isn't, there should be.)
#3: I know that's supposed to be a carrot. It just looks like a tongue... And I don't particularly appreciate the "Nyah, nyah! You can cut me and eat me but I WILL haunt your dreams and cramp your bowels!" expression on that sucker.
#4: *shrug* "What'd I ever do to YOU??" is the "in" look this Easter... haven't you heard.
#5: IS that cake sitting on the FLOOR?? I swear that looks like a rug under that cake container; no wonder he has a big, green, runny tear coming out of his eye! Major dis!
#6: A pink PUG! How innovative...
#7: Well...at least it's not overdone. SO not overdone.
#8: Snoopy wearing a rabbit mask. And someone stepped on his front paw--see how swollen it is? (Why'd they stop there?)
#9: Now, THAT'S overdone. See, #7? You can try to feel good about yourself, now. Reeaally try.
#10: A sarcophagus, wherein lie the remains of something --I don't care what, as long as it stays there.
#11: Finally, one with a bit of mystery!!! If you click it to enlarge, you can make out--in the silvery-blue part-- a sort of image of something there. To me, it almost looks like a goose. I see a long neck, and a goosey-looking body. Or a swan, just maybe...
I so hope that Amy is very, very young...young enough not to care. Or she'll THROW UP on it.
Wait a minute...!?!?
I'm getting a Donnie Darko vibe from some of these cakes
I had to stifle my laughing so as not to wake up my husband, lol.
And that pink and white bunny that laid the chocolate "egg"? It looks like the Sphinx or something.
And WHY would you put that horrific Easter "grass" on a cake?!!!!?
Oh that chocolate bunny looks like one of the bad guys from Voltron. *shivers*
@sharon -- my husband and his brothers each get decorated cookie cakes every birthday. A cookie cake is a cake :)
(How is cookie as a canvas different from cake as a canvas?)
#10 - I don't even know what that's supposed to BE!
#11 - Why is the bunny half-buried? What is that blue... thing? Is this cake advance advertising for a new holiday horror blockbuster? "Coming soon to a theater near you: Zombie Bunny vs The Blob!"
what is the blue stuff on the last cake suppose to be
I get the crankiness and whining, and what I love is that your cakes do, too! Happy Sping! I love it!
I'm thinking you should take your cake pictures on the road :) Such great humor!
Thahks for the Easter chuckles.
My husband just asked what I was watching because I was laughing so hard!!!
Awesome cakey wreckiness, Jen! I'm going to be singing McArthur park all day...
....WE have those scary looking Bunny head toppers at the bakery! The one on either side of the third to last photo? We use them on cupcakes, and everytime I use them, I think of this site.
"Pickle Ears" actually looks like yoyo from hoops and yoyo -- featured on Hallmark cards, tee shirts, and other items.
Oddee.com has an article about horrible cakes, which would be fine. But they used the tag line "when cakes go horribly, hilariously wrong" and they used a lot of photos that they may or may not have gotten off your site. There is no credit to any of it.
Just thought you should know!