Phony
February 3, 2009 I'm kind of a "if it ain't broke don't fix it" girl. Which is why, despite John's ridicule and the fact that it technically IS broken, I still use the first cell phone I ever got after we were married. Sure, it's older than most first graders, the camera no longer works, no headset on earth fits it, and it's dented in several places from my throwing it across the room while playing Psychonauts (love that game), but darn it all, I just figured out how the menu works.
Anyway, I mention all this because today I got a harsh reminder of just how old my phone is:
Yep, old enough to appear as a plastic toy on a Wreck.
And not just ANY Wreck, but one that's ugly as vomit-streaked sin and suffering from a severe identity crisis to boot. Is it a going-away cake? A birthday cake? Both? "Happy Birthday, Billy. Now Daddy and I gotta go! Bye!"
I could also mention the punctuation, spacing, and CCC issues, but really I just can't get over this phone-clone thing. In fact, I think I need to photograph my phone just to show you I'm not making this up. Check it out:
See? Of course, the fact that I wanted to show off my new Mickey Munny doll had nothing to do with it, Christina B. (But isn't he cute?)
Reader Comments (123)
I had a moment of severe phone envy the other day after watching too many commercials for the new iPhone and Blackberry with their cool little games, etc. My phone just, well, makes calls, sends text, and could connect to the internet at a ridiculously slow speed if I really wanted. And yet... that's what it's supposed to do. It's a *phone.*
Oh, and the cake is ugly! I definitely wouldn't have paid more than $12 for it, if even that!
Word verification: defuncr, what many of these cakes are to the intended parties
I love that it's on sale.
Priceless.
What an odd inscription. I think this is a cake from some inconsiderate traveling parent that was trying to give a phone order message while talking on another phone.
*on phone one* "What's up? Gotta go out of town!"
*on phone two* Oh yeah the cake...umm...how about "Happy Birthday"
*decorator* Qua?
Love Psychonauts.
My favorite part is that it's on sale.
Yes, he's very cute. So cute that I forgot the cake and really want that Mickey Munny (is it supposed to be Mummy? Because I don't know what "munny" is).
I love that it's discounted too. It's a reject trifecta.
Oh my gosh, I love Psychonauts too!
iityrLook on the bright side... at least you can have vomit-streaked sin for under $12.00!
Woot! Woot!
Forget the cake (and the phone)... I want one of those Mickeys!
I don't understand what the connection of any of the cake is. We have the phone, ugly background, "we gotta go!" and "Happy Birthday!". There is about 4 different messages on that cake.
The dialogue on this cake is definitely the best. It was as if the decorator was having a conversation with herself thinking of what to add and decided to add it all.
Wouldn't it make more sense to throw your controller during the Meat Circus, rather than your phone?
I'm sure it will come up in other comments here (when they're posted all at once) ... but it appears THIS wreck was something that the original person wouldn't purchase. The inscription is bizarre enough to suggest there was a backstory.
But now it's marked down, and the cake board is scribbled with "Happy Birthday" to try to move it out the door. For that reason, it's one of my favorite wrecks.
Have you managed to beat the Meat Circus? I have NEVER been able to do it and it makes me cry.
Also, big ups for old phone love. I practically have to crank mine.
They forgot "IDK my BFF Jill"
its okay. i just upgraded, cause someone stole my phone at the mall over x-mas. what any one wanted with the first flip phone with a camera is beyond me. I had it forever, like, 6 years, and in phone world, that's decades. the screen was cracked, you reallly had to push to dial a 2, you know? I think the toy flip phones are fancier. I now have a newer bar phone. I picked it cause it was pretty plain,but it has the Music ID thing, and I didn't expect it to, so thats pretty cool. If it hadn't been stolen, I probably would still be chuggin along with my old one tho. It still worked fine.
That's the best phone ever. I kept mine until AT&T FORCED me to take a free phone because their network wouldn't support that one. After two years, I still haven't had the heart to actually toss the thing.
I'm glad that you don't take it for granted! Enjoy it while you can!
No wonder one's gotta go with a cake like that, and why one is out of town when it's time to eat the cake.
Thank you for this blog. I haven't laughed this much for months :-D
I used to have that phone! I think it is still kicking around in a drawer somewhere.
My phone doesn't even have a multi color screen .
I guess it's a free for all occasion cake
Ugly as vomit streaked sin! That is a new one and I love it! Seriously though, Update your phone!!
This cake makes absolutely no sense at all, and the colour scheme is downright nasty..YUCK!!!!
~Amy B.
I find it hilarious that just the other week, my partner saw the little toy cellphones in our grocery store and commented how much they looked like his phone. I too had an old cellphone until recently (actually I still have it, it just doesn't work anymore) so I upgraded to one that actually is semi-modern - whoo!
I knew my phone was old when I saw it pictured on one of those donate your old phone bins.
Yeah, I still have the first cell phone I ever got - May 2003. No camera. Still works perfectly (even after I dropped it down that flight of concrete steps in college). The battery life is starting to go though...
I think a mid-50's cake decorator was trying to mimic what pre-teens might say on the phone. I took it as a middle school birthday cake for a talkative girl. But the question remains as to why any person with eyes in their head would make a cake in those colors.
I know this is the most unrelated thing, but why are you saving $7.79 and paying $11.69? that means the cake was originally $19.48... and while that may have been a good year for some, it's a really odd price, and an even odder discount... i'm sure there's a mathematical explanation but since the "cake" itself is horrifying, i went for the more hidden befuddlement
I'm hanging on to my cruddy old phone and hoping that someday I can use it as a topper on my kids' graduation cake.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
My phone was older (from 1998), but two years ago I learned it no longer works in all 50 states . . .
There's a river in the middle of the cake, I'm pretty sure. But whatever the person ordered, which I'm sure was fraught with personal meaning, I think "designers" are charged with making it look okay. Otherwise we'd all make our own cakes, or just murmur something while handing one another Twinkies. (Uh, it needed to be said.)
No amount of retconning can make this worth spending money on. Prying the cupcakes apart and scrambling them like a puzzle, to obliterate any hint of intentional communication, would move them faster.
Guity -- how some wreckerators who can't spell feel at the end of a work day.
I have that exact phone! And I still use it as well =)
that mickey money is probably the lamest thing i've seen all week
Given the game you're playing, and that cake, I can only think of one appropriate response to that monstrosity:
"Ahhh, it's so... tacky... Can't... look... directly at it..."
My phone is way older than that. :-/ It makes calls and sends text messages. That is all. No Internet, no pictures, the screen is 1980-computer-monitor green.
We have the same phone - and I still use mine, too.
I also cannot believe/am hugely amused that the cake is on sale.
Aw, don't feel bad, Jen - I had the exact same phone and only gave it up when my call company offered me a new phone for free (which was about two years ago, but still). Of course, my "new" phone is pretty old by now, too...
Oh, and the cake is *really* ugly. ^^
Wait - what's wrong with that phone? *I* have that phone. Still works - most of the time.
When I get a new one, I'll use it to put on someone's going-away cake.
You know, a whole Keep-in-touch - touch.
XOXO
That "cake" was so ugly, I failed to notice it was an evil CCC until it was mentioned in the write-up. I think the colors blinded me.
(My phone is only three years old, although it wasn't even a fancy model when I bought it. I can still make and receive calls, which is my main requirement.)
Loved that phone. I eventually had to replace it because the metal contacts in the phone didn't work right and it was very hard to charge.
If you liked Psychonauts, check out Grim Fandango, the same team's game before Psychonauts. It's available on PC and super cheap (they did a rerelease a few years ago). AWESOME game.
Someone HAS to make a cake like your Mickey Munny doll. That would rock.
Ok, I feel old. My first phone was one I inherited from my older sister in the mid nineties. The screen was greenish grey and black. The aerial pulled out. The sim card was the size of a credit card. Camera? Don't be absurd, it barely managed 30x40 monochrome bitmaps! And I have no idea how they got there! And there was no way you could fit it into a pocket unless you were borrowing your clothes from MC Hammer.
It had Snake though. I miss Snake, even if I do have a pretty nifty Sudoku game on my current phone.
LOL, I had that phone, too. Sold it two years ago to a guy for $25! Then I "bought" (got free with renewal) the next Sony-Ericsson model(Z520a) which has the *exact* same menu system.
I have to laugh too! Just realised that my phone is "older than most 1st graders" too - I was about 3 months pregnant with my current 1st grader when I got it. Still doing fine; on 2nd earphone; might replace the battery some time. I'm using it now to listen to the radio. Phone, text and radio - that was state of the art when I bought it :) And still all I need.
Oooh...
We need a "Design a cakewreck Munny" contest!
For those that don't know what a Munny is, go to http://www.kidrobot.com/2008/munny/
I was so mad...as soon as I bought my new BlackBerry, they came out with the Bold and the Storm...I kept my old RAZR so I wouldn't have to buy new Tetris and Solitare games ;)
I have one of those 2-ton cell phones from the 80s that could be installed IN THE CAR
wv: litub...erm, I got nutthin'
This is the funniest website I've ever seen!
"Thanks!"
underneat that
Best wishes!
hey - at least you got a phone that has lasted a long time. Some of the newest models can't boast that (hello iPhone that keeps dying on me)!! :)
Wonder how long it sat there before it was discounted?? Maybe it started out with different colors & didn't age well - lol. The "vomit-induced sin" remark is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. As always thanks for brightening my day!!
I think it's even a CCC if you look closely around the edges...you can just make out the scalloped edges...