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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Saturday
Dec052009

The Yuletide is Coming In

Now that we're into December, bakeries are working hard to make their designs more "season-appropriate."

Which is why you can now find, for example, the army toys attacking giant poinsettias:

"Call in backup! We need more silly string!"

And flotsam-bedecked "Christmas guitars":

"Oh Oh Oh" is right.

And of course, that perennial holiday favorite:

The Puppy-Pecking Parasite of Pastries Past!

It's a deer tick.

Eh?

Oh, c'mon, quit groaning: that was freaking brilliant on my part.

Heather M., Melissa G., & Jessica L., do you suppose they used "sugar doe" to make it?

- Related Wreckage: Seasonal Non Sequiturs

« Sunday Sweets: Wintry Wonders | Main | Syfy Sacrilege »

Reader Comments (120)

LOL that second one hurts my eyes!

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

A deer tick. ROFLMFAO you're a genius!

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

My 4-year old looking over my shoulder at the last pict points and says, "What's that thing on the cake?" I interjected, "I don't know."
"....it looks weird." She answered. lol.

Mike

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow, how very christmasy of them to drown snowmen and santas in lava.

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIngeborg

#1 You'd think the bakeries would have run out of brown frosting after Thanksgiving. D'oh!

#2 Where is the kitchen sink? Everything else is there.

#3 I thought your "deer tick" was brilliant, Jen!

Cheers!

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Well, I *WAS* going to say that I didn't *REALLY* want to know what the deer was doing on the doggy's back, but then you explained it all. Sort of. Not really. Sugar doe helped somewhat. Sort of. Not really.

Huh?

It's beginning to look a lot like a wrecky season!

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWriteCards

I am a deer tick and am very offended that you made fun of me. Please cease and desist immediately!

Signed....killjoy!

Tanks shooting poinsettias? What? A pool of santa heads? It looks like that dog got infected by that deer tick, puked up it's santa head lunch and then the tanks moved in to attack him! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

WV: sansess...these cakes make absolutely no sansess.

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAimers

I was just appalled until "Dear Tick".

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

*sigh*

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I guess nothing says "Merry Christmas" like a pile of crap held together with a load of icing :)

How these bakers keep their jobs, I don't know...

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStylishHeather

It's almost like the bakers are doing this on purpose, just to get featured on Cake Wrecks......at least, I'm hoping so.

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am missing something on the first one. I can't for the life of me think of what it is supposed to be of/for. In what context do icing flowers go with army tanks and helicopters?

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"It's a deer tick." I'm laughing so hard I snorted coffee... thanks!

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRuth

Can't that deer sense the danger in standing on top of the abominable snowman? Massacre!

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

*still groaning* Deer tick... I think you just outdid yourself there Jen. Love it!

*scrolls down* Oh, and what do you know? My wv is gronin - what I'm sure everyone will be doing when they finish reading today's post.

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

tell me..

Why are the army toys attacking giant poinsettias on a huge reindeer turd?

Why have all the Santas and Frosty the snowmen been beheaded and left in pools of blood?

Why is there a tiny reindeer on top of a gigantic Old English Sheepdog?

You sure celebrate yuletide differently in America to the way we do here in the boring old UK, but I'm still uncertain about beheading poor Santa!

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Deer tick is epic brilliance. Thanks for the everyday Laugh Out Loud!

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boss Bitch

The absurdity of that deer on the dog sent me giggling!

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAl, Wendy, Max, and Lil

Nothing says Christmas like a sea of plastic flotsam and waxy pinecones-- if those are candles, maybe the whole thing will just burn... *fingers crossed*

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJimmy

Ahhh...that made me happy. And not just because it gave me an excuse for postponing working on my term paper for another three minutes. (Deer ticks...how can I work that into a paper on social consciousness in theatre?)

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

Is it possible that "Oh Oh Oh" is in the shape of West Virginia?

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What is most disturbing to me is, it appears the dog has grown an addtional snout out of its paw. Birth defect, perhaps?

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

ahahahahaha! deer tick. LOL. that's hilarious!

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlisa

!deer tick!!
LOL

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

LOL, deer tick!
And nothing says holiday spirit like camo tanks and "oh oh oh."

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter3XEmonkey

Deer tick. LMAO :D

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNic

That first cake is a great way to help the troops celebrate Christmas while still mapping out their "strategery":

Follow the green path marked here, and no one will ever guess where you're going with that tank, the planned explosion sites are clearly noted, and the whole thing looks kind of like a bomb crater that you can eat to keep the plan out of enemy hands.

If you want to eat a bomb crater, I mean. Sounds...dusty. Maybe a little crunchy.

And it might be just as effective to hand the cake over to the other side.

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Deer tick! Ahahahahaha! Deer tick!

Okay, seriously, I totally LOL'd at deer tick. That _was_ frickin genious!

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEasilyTIMted

Ahahaha! Can't put the brown icing away yet-- 'tis the season for those yucky yule logs again! Blech.

I can't imagine showing up at a party carrying one of those. There'd be lots of concern from all who see it.

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

CCC #1: What does this have to do with Christmas? In fact, what the heck is going on here?

CCC #2: In what way does this depiction of a trash dumpster the day after Christmas resemble a guitar?

CCCr (#3): I like the visual representation of the phrase "deer tick," but that angora goat, or whatever it is, is pretty painful to look at with the extra snout on its right paw and all.

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Oh. My. Lord.

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthesacredandtheprofane

I had completely forgot that you could mess up placing a "HO HO HO" piece of plastic on a cake.

You know how you're supposed to proof read what you write? How come these bakers don't look at they're cakes once they're done? (or worse, what if they do?)

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbodoba

Ah, 'tis the season indeed!

@anony10:00--

Suck it up, Brit! Clearly, the things you mentioned are what the holiday season is all about. We can't help it if you guys completely miss the meaning of Christmas. ;)

@barbara10:14--

I don't think that's a birth defect. I think that's the horrific outcome of the dreaded deer tick bite.

And I'll agree with everyone else--"deer tick" is nothing short of brilliant. The cake remains flummoxing, however.

--kate

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What is it about helpless icing covered puppies that all this plastic flotsam finds so irresistables...first it's spiders trying to impotune the poor puppy, now Rudolph decides to intrude...oh the pupmanity!

(not all Diana's are created equal)

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

I love your comment about the deer tick and the sugar doe...I started laughing...good thing I am by myself at work today...

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeAnne

Deer tick!! That is awesome!! It continues to boggle my mind that these are actual cakes done by "professionals".

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJanella

LOVE IT! You're adorable. Thanks!

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

That second one looks like a bunch of Santas and snowmen swimming in radioactive waste. Merry Christmas from Three Mile Island!

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBree

It's a snow-covered ant-eater! It must be!

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

I see your website was featured on Have I Got News For You on BBC1 TV last night!

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDebster

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh that's rich. a deer tick.

I'm sorry you guys had to deal with BS on the last post. There was/is nothing wrong with it. It's hilarious! Y'all should see what the poor Photoshop Disasters guy has to deal with.

(I are serious cat, this is serious thread, etc etc).

Why does puppy have his nose laying along the ground? He looks sort of melted. lol

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

My 6 year old son looked at the "dog" cake and said... "Hey, is that a Yeti?". I thought that was brilliant!

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin

OH OH OH!

Jen, I am having a really rotten week - beyond rotten actually and I always know I can come to Cake Wrecks to lighten things up a bit.

Thank you for all you do and thank you wreckinators - one and all. I don't know what I would do without you . . .

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTerri

Ok, so generally I read this blog for the pictures more than the writing. But the Deer Tick joke made me ACTUALLY LOL.

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

That's one awfully ambitious stag!

(Or possibly it's standing on a small and rather blotchy glacier?)

Meanwhile, truly truly TRULY aghast at the poinsettia tanks. But at least they're shooting silly string rather than missiles, yes?

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNonie

Deer tick! *snort* Awesome one!!

The other two are just eeeeew.

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSue in N. Va

the second cake made me break out in song... "Oh Oh Oh it's magic... you know...."

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrittany

That's a rather well-groomed...pile of frosting to have such a large parasite on its back. I think it's time to re-evaluate the work of your groomer.

And if this is how we celebrate Christmas in the US, then I've been missing out my whole life. Why, I never once got a cake--CCC variety or not, that featured plastic army vehicles attacking giant wintertime foliage. :(

WV: incessig
I'm not even going to touch that...

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRedd

Usually Cake Wrecks makes me giggle uncontrollably. This one just made my brain go whaaa??? and refuse to continue, much like a computer trying to deal with impossible programming. These 'cakes' do not compute.

Your puns rock the world, as always. :-)

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Okay. I'm anonymous, so I'm not too ashamed to say - I don't get the "deer tick" joke. Can somebody 'splain?

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjaylin

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