Why So Serious?
January 26, 2009 Superheroes have it rough, too. I mean, there's the tights, the endless amount of bullets ricocheting off their rock-hard pectoral muscles, and of course all the women throwing themselves in their paths. (Obviously I'm talking about guy superheroes here, but if you'd prefer to think of Wonder Woman with rock-hard pectoral muscles, more power to ya.)
What, that doesn't sound so bad? Then allow me to introduce a new Wreck series: Caped Catastrophes. Today's first lucky victim? The Bat Man himself.
Here Bat Boy rides out of a plastic drain-pipe on a magma slick in glorious celebration of "Brian Day". Um, are those things on the side supposed to be bats, Clarissa D.?
Then there's the continuing drama between Batman and the Batmobile:
"Wait - come back! I didn't mean it! I DON'T miss that new-car smell, honest!"I agree that the door in the brick wall is a little odd, Ashley W., but what I really want to know is how the Batmobile can leave a cloud of snow-white exhaust shaped like a hibiscus flower. These Bat gadgets - they just get cooler every year, don't they?
Fortunately Judith C. reports that 'man and 'mobile appear to have made up here:
"Blasted Baked Balls of Blue! I can't...quite...reach you!"Christal W. found the best toy-to-cake ratio out there:
I'm not sure if "River" is the birthday person's name, or if - in the tradition of Wreckerators everywhere - the decorator just labeled the cake what it's supposed to look like. If that's the case, then s/he must have meant "cascading river of blood, cement, and mold". But, you know, that probably wouldn't have fit.
([sigh] Again, yes, it's "professional". I checked the site and everything. C'mon, a little credit here?)
Now remember, kids: crime doesn't pay. Right, Batman?
But you know, all these cakes are totally cheating: they each use plastic Batman figurines! Why aren't decorators actually drawing the caped crusader?
Oh. That's why. Thanks, Nicc.
[shifty eyes] Um, and can I just say that that's an unfortunately appropriate placement of the "pp"?
Aaaand I'm done.
Have a superhero Wreck you've been meaning to send me? Then send it in soon; I'll be continuing the Caped Catastrophes theme over the next few weeks.
Reader Comments (112)
Ah! I saw one almost identical to cake #1 in my local Safeway, but my phone's battery was dead so I didn't manage a picture! Good to know that there are better, more fearless Wreckporters than I... that thing deserves to be seen!
It looks like Batman got ran over. And squished.
Holy crap cakes Batman!
What a mess.
The p's should be back to back*evil laugh*
wvotd pateri: a pasta made by letting your terripoo pat it flat with his/her paws.
Holy toxic orange oil slicks, Batman. That first one is just scary. Actually they're all scary. And thanks for pointing out the wonderful placement of that PP.
New shirt needed with this saying "Blasted Baked Balls of Blue! I can't...quite...reach you!".. just about spit my 7-up all over my computer screen!
I haven't laughed this hard at a Wreck in a while- peopl emight be looking at me funny soon. The Batman being abandoned by his Batmobile is HILARIOUS!
Is Batgirl wielding a sword on that one wreck? Hey, wait a minute. That's the Tim Drake Robin on the same cake, and that's the Barbara Gordon Batgirl. Barbara was paralyzed before Tim became Robin.
I declare that cake to be non-canon.
Robin must be bitterly jealous of the batmobile. I know I would be.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
Shouldn't the "River" cake been a part of the body part cake entry?
Is it a cancer?
I kind of like the placement of the candles on the top one. But does the bat-bike have an acid orange oil leak?
Cashing Crime?..I don't get it...
At least we are back to cakes that make me want cake. After Holy S**t cake last week I wasn't sure I wanted to eat cake ever again. These actually look delicious and wrecktastic.
Oh my good gosh, so funny! Yeah, Bat Man they screw up enough... wonder what they've done to Superman?!
you forgot to mention that timmy's cake has pink on it. poor thing.
Did anyone else notice that the 1st cake is for a 20 year old (if the number of candles reflect "Brian's" age)??
Can you say living at home w/ mom & dad in the basement?
Did the last one say "Marvin" or "Melvin"? It made me think of Jeff Dunham's puppet...Melvin the Super Hero.
Wow. I'm about to make a Batman cake for my son's birthday. Hope it turns out better than these!
The CCC was lcose, though. One or two more and it'll be something special.
i wonder if that's supposed to be 'crushing crime'?
The last one looks like Al Bundy wearing a Batman costume.
With enough blue frosting right and left to make mothers everywhere cringe...
Thanks for the PP giggle...oh, and Hyena Overlord? Your mind is just completely in the gutter...I like that in a person!!
As a Metropolis resident I had to wonder, where are the Superman cakes?
Ok, this is giving me serious reservations about my son's request for a Batman cake for his 4th birthday. How do I not screw this up?!
I should know better than to read this while eating. I think I just aspirated Cheerios.
May I point out that in the UK 'batty boy' is homophobic slang for a gay guy, so its use to describe the caped crusader was quite a shock to me until realised you probably didn't know that.
There you learn something new every day.
So, I missed Brian Day AGAIN this year? Rats. Where the hell was I?
Next year...
Was the parade good?
great new wreck theme. and i LOOOOVE batman. poor guy, reduced to ccc's and epic battles atop weird mountains of icing that isn't a color natural to anything in God's green goodness.
Bwahahaha...thanks for the laugh with that last CCC. The placement of the PP made me laugh.
that's AWESOME!!!
On a side note - I just saw the new Batman movie at Christmas and loved it. ahhh... Christain Bale. Enough said.
Is it just me or is Batman hailing a cab on the second cake? And could someone please put "Blasted Baked Balls of Blue! I can't...quite...reach you!" on a t-shirt?
I'm just wondering how those huge arse plastic batmen are going to fit in those itty bitty batmobiles... anyone? guess maybe that's his hidden superpower? he's a human shrinkydink?
i ACTUALLY ordered cake #1 for my dad ( biggest batman fan i know) BUT thinking of CakeWrecks i pretty much asked for everything different. hahah. I asked for No blue or Black icing and instead went with a white/ slight grey. The though of eternally blue intestines made me sick. and the magma was out too. it actually came out to be a good looking cake. if you change everything!
also. I was so excited...Batman is my absolute favorite superhero! I mean i'll admit I'm one of those women throwing themselves in his path when i see those tights and bullets ricocheting off their rock-hard pectoral muscles.
Am I the only idiot who can't figure out what a "pp" is? I mean, I'm expecting something phallic, but I can't for the life of me find what it could be on the cake... You'd think I would know these things after reading this blog EVERY SINGLE DAY....
wv: things. Just... things.
I was scrolling down through the photos and thinking 'gosh, I couldn't eat any cake with that much lurid blue icing on it', and then I came to River's cake: the cake that looks like slurry. Suddenly, lurid blue icing looked strangely appetising by comparison!
I was laughing so hard!
...until the river cake, that one stopped the laughing and triggered the gag reflex.
Well, of COURSE Wonder Woman has rock-hard pectoral muscles. Female superheroes need them too. The muscles just aren't as visible on women, that's all. The ricocheting thing could be a problem, but presumably whatever protects Superman's skin (not to mention his shirt... shouldn't it look all tattered after he deflects a burst of machine-gun fire?) would also protect the female superhero's other, um, attributes in that area. (With Wonder Woman it's not even an issue, since her wristbands handle the bullet-deflecting duties.)
Why does Batman look like he's kicking back and relaxing in a... turret? strangely designed hot tub? whatever that is... on the "cashing" cake?
The "Cashing Crime" cake is probably supposed to say "Catching Crime". It was most likely a phone order that was misinterpreted. Haven't we learned our lesson people?!? No phone orders!! :)
i <3 legless batman ccc.
that "river" cake is one of the ugliest things i've ever seen. it seriously hurts my retinas. and that batman ccc is...also hideous.
know what's funny? the word verification thingy actually has the word "suck" in it. that's funny...
I read this blog everyday and I usually don't leave a comment, but I had to today. This post was one of the funniest posts here in a while. I was seriously laughing hard. Oh my god, more of things like this please.
the last one looks like batman is trying to dress up as Hedwig for Halloween.
I've seen every wreck you've posted, and this one is now in my top 5, right up there with mohawked-naked-carrot-riding-babies...you're commentary is priceless!!
All I can say is: "YIKES!"
Poor Batman. He can't get no respect.
I recognize that plastic oval Batman insignia...it is from dual purpose Batman/Superman Wilton kit I used to make my son a Batman cake about 15 years ago. It had a head and torso shaped pan that you baked the cake in, then decorated with the appropriate colored frosting using the "Wilton technique" and affixed the appropriate superhero face and chest emblem. It was the first and last I ever used black frosting!
The "River" cake looks like an elementary school science fair volcano. It's not a river of blood; it's lava. How it got turned into a cake, I'll never know.
I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who thought Batman was getting run over by the Batmobile in the cupcake cake.
Oh I almsot fell out of my chair about the "PP" thing. You are so funny!
you make a good point on the plastic figurines, i always see plastic toys representing Batman
"Blasted Baked Balls of Blue! I can't...quite...reach you!"
Thank you for that, it made my day :)
Oh gods. Thats horrible!!!
On a side note, I just saw a commercial on the food channel that there is going to be a wedding cake competition. I'm waiting to see what comes out of that.
(first time commenter here, btw. Found the blog yesterday!)
*wipes tear from eye*
I love the "I didn't mean it" comments. Poor Batman, what was he thinking when he said that? Maybe KITT could be a temporary stand-in. Now that would rock.