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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Sunday
Aug172008

"Cake" Cruelty

Ladies and gentlemen of the cake community, I come to you today with a matter of grave concern to us all.

Allow me to present exhibit A:


These seemingly innocent "cakes" are instead a threat to all the sugary goodness we hold dear. Observe:


Once sliced, you will note that these "cakes" are not cakes at all. Instead, they are layers of various meat and mayo-based salads, bread, and then - here's the worst part - "iced" with cream cheese. Note how the creators of these twisted impostors then push the deception even further by decorating the "cakes" with little roses, vines, and piped borders.

I ask you, fellow carb-lovers, are we to allow such cake defamation to stand? Will we sit idly by while our children and grandchildren are subjected to cakes that are not cakes? And if so, what next? Liverwurst doughnuts? Tuna-filled eclairs? Meat pies? (Oh, wait...)

Nay, I say, nay! We shall rise up, and as one declare that our butter cream icing must remain unsullied, our baked goods pure in sugar. Join me, and together we can make our world a place of fat, sugar, and dairy-based products for all!

Melissa P., thanks for calling my attention to this adjusted unjust injustice. (Seashell-Selling She, eat your heart out.)

« Celebrity Wrecks | Main | Gosh, Kermit, I Think I'd Get That Looked At... »

Reader Comments (232)

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

Actually, that sounds pretty mouth-watering to me. Except for the cream cheese icing which I hope is flavoured with something savoury. I like looking at fancy cakes but I don't have a sweet tooth. I wonder if I can get someone back home to make these things. :)

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMongoose

Meatcakes rock.

These aren't particularly appetizing, and cream cheese is a bit weird I agree... any true meatcake lover will use mashed potatoes.

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ewww! What a crime!

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

Gross!! I think biting into something and being surprised that it's actually a completely different taste is the worst.

In my restaurant days we used to trick other employees into biting into big bowls of sour cream dressed up as ice cream with chocolate sauce and a cherry.

It was cruel

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMikeD

Oh, eww. I just lost my appetite.

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

If you find THAT disturbing...ou have to see this:

http://www.blackwidowbakery.com/gallery/main.php

LOL

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWild Cakes

Hmmm... this reminds me that my mother used to make a liver sausage "cake" frosted with cream cheese on the dog's birthday when I was a kid. We'd invite the neighborhood kids AND their dogs.

Of course there was real cake for the people. ;)

And, yes, my mother was a little nutty.

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterH. L. Dyer

omg, that looks gross!

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

Of all the strange cakes you've posted this one has me freaked out the most. Yuck!

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTamsyn

No. NOOOO! I would be SO mad if I cut into one of those beauties only to find... chicken salad. Ick.

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDana (*danavee*)

That's disgusting...I bet my husband would LOVE it. Blech!!

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJessie

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKelli

We once went to a wedding in Sweden and were victims of this terrible ploy. It looked like cake. It wasn't. Instead it was layers of mayonnaise, white bread, a bologna-like ground substance, cucumbers and SHRIMP! It was one of the most horrifying experiences of my life.

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

o_0 is that ham salad?

They do look pretty, tho.

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMcBangle

Before we get our nickers in a double knot here, I believe that we should think of our Diabetic and Hypoglycemic brothers and sisters. With one of these cakes they too can finally have thier cake and actually be able to eat it too. Besides, one of the "cakes" I have made had Meatloaf on the inside and was frosted with mashed potatos. I even dyed the potatos yellow, pink and green and decorated it with flowers and greenery. It went for $50.00 at an April Fools cake auction.

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJames

All I can say is...WHY???!!

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTristan

That is disgusting! Who could possibly think that's a good idea?yv

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

...*gag*
...*vomit*
...*cry*

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Baroness

That's really just kind of disgusting. I couldn't imagine biting into that without being told it wasn't real cake. What a surprise it would be to the unexpected cake-lover.

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNipponElla

oh ewww! meat based salads instead of sugery cakey goodness? what's wrong with the world today?!!

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Wentz

You funny, funny woman!

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGeo

They're very pretty....but quite disturbing. How to do we know now the next time we go to a dinner party and see what we think is a beautiful dessert table only to discover that it is in fact the main course! 0.o

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterV. Nicharico

Those are incredibly disturbing. Incredibly, incredibly disturbing.

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbeckyperlman

I'd far more likely enjoy a cake that looked like a pizza or a bowl of spaghetti & meatballs (which I've had, and it was awesome) than eat a sandwich that looks like dessert! And that's just plain mean to little kids!

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCanada

Bravo! A very moving speech indeed...

And yes... those so-called "cakes" are an utter travesty. Offensive to the eyes, taste buds, and mind. They must be destroyed for the goodness of all cakedom.

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbearlyhapnin

Eww, that's just not right. I'd much rather eat the HerpAway Kermit than the yummy-looking cake imposter. What a let-down!

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkahara

Good grief. Are those back again? (I remember them from my mom's garden club luncheons: "Party Sandwich Loaf," the recipe in her cookbook said. But then they went away, and I was hoping they would stay gone.

August 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Hilarious! I remember going to my cousin's bridal shower as a kid and my aunt pulled this on her unsuspecting guests. Treason, I say!

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, now that's just wrong. There ain't no sense in that kind of foolishness. I tell ya what, if someone tried to pull that crazy stuff on me, at a party, I'd be forced to kick 'em in the shins. You don't go messin' with cake around a big girl.

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJune Cleaver

This one, well....I have to say it (cliche and all!)...it takes the cake (and wrecks it). This is seriously a crime against HUMANITY.

Imagine the psychological damage these people are doing. You're at a party, looking for a decent sugar hit to keep you from killing the other boring guests. You take a slab of cake, only to realize...you're eating spam mousse! Talk about post traumatic cake syndrome. I also love how they show it served with fruit salad.

Eeekk!!

Love the site, you're keeping me very amused at what my fellow pastry chefs get up to! (bringing shame on the community, basically.)

M

Gross. Just gross.

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This is just like Rachel's banana meat trifle on Friends, except that this is real. That makes it a thousand times worse. The horror!!

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWalking With Scissors

Hahaha, Jen!

Blame the little roses!

Best wishes!!!

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSabrina Mix

I can't imagine how horrified my taste buds would be if I bit into this expecting cake. This is just mean.

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBlandy Snorhal

Nasty! If I'm going to eat cake, it's going to be the sugary kind, preferably with lots of chocolate and maybe gooey lemon or raspberry filings. Or German Chocolate. Or Black Forest torte. Not some gross ground-up meat 'n mayonnaise!
What's next, cream cheese-covered Spam?
Puke!

P.S. Was I really first?

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCaliGirl9

Hiding nutrition in cake...what will they think of next? ):

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterZenne

That is horrible. Absolutely. A crime against humanity.

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlaws-of-fizzix

I had the misfortune of shoving a huge forkful of a similar decepticake into my mouth at a wedding shower. I think I was six and I was so alarmed, I ran to my mom crying "THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE CAAAAKE!"

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMsMitoticSpindle

God help me, it looks good.

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMike B.

Here, here...preach it!! Sugary cake lovers unite!

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I remember my aunt pulling this duplicity at my cousin's bridal shower. I was ten and so pissed! I thought we were having cake for lunch!

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGinny

OMG

that is HORRIBLE!!!!!

O_O!!!

how can anyone eat that!!

no a cake must
be filled with sugary goodness
to rot our teeth to make cavities
to save some for later!!!

XD




*anacidicdesire.etsy.com*

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterManda

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSteve and Stepher

Haha!

Actually, those are pretty good! I've had them before at baby showers.

I think an appropriate law to apply would be that if one must serve a sandwich cake like this, there must be at least twice as much real cake available for dessert.

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

This is heinous! Being an insane lover of cake and totally ANTI meat.. This is my 'accidentally ate meat' worst nightmare! How can they do this? Is there not some sort of cake police? Cant we call PETA?!?!

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercarlottadeville

What is wrong with the world?! I am a meat lover, and a cake lover but this has just gone too far. TOO FAR! Is there something I can sign, or someone I can call?
PS love this blog sooo much!

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

the tuna filled eclairs sound really good. I say "let them eat cake!"

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh come on. Are you telling me that there are no sandwich cakes where you live? They are just great!

After all, they don't even compete with sugary cakes. A sandwich cake is something to satisfy your appetite after boring ceremonies or a couple of hundred miles traveling to the occasion. You just have to eat it as a salty snack, not a sweet one.

At least here in Finland sandwich cakes are greatly appreciated.

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHeikki

DIS.GUST.ING. That is so disgusting. That's really all I can say. Who would eat that, ever? I'd rather eat the baby cake, because at least it's made of cake.

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

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