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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Nov262008

Creations That Might Possibly Be Representations of Turkeys

But the jury's still out.

You know, Amanda S., I always wondered what Davy Jones would look like as a turkey. I'd say this has got to be spot on.

Kara S., please tell me this is a baby shower cake. (Orange pacifier? Woolly bonnet? It could work.)

Ashley J. has obviously found the "angry tree demigod" species of turkey. Forget Smokey the Bear: now HERE is a mascot that will make you put those campfires out.

And Melissa G. found a...a...hm. Right, you got me. What the heck is this?

Ah, the traditional "Snake in a Flamenco Dress" turkey - of course. But where are the castanets, Erin L.?

And lastly:

Sure, ok, he looks like a turtle whose shell is on fire - no problem. The thing I can't get past are those weird Aztec-looking symbols written on the left "pumpkin's" head. After a few moments squinting at them, I suddenly realized they are supposed to be words. Check it out; it's like one of those magic eye puzzles.

And don't look now, Lynz B., but I think those Twizzlers are supposed to be feet. Won't you join me in weeping for the future of cake art?

« And Now, a Word From Your Thanksgiving Turkey Cakes | Main | Wrecktopia of Cornucopias »

Reader Comments (157)

I think it says eat more beef

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LMAO Snakes and turtles!

~Hyla

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHyla Waldron

The last cake maker seems to think they're not only awesome at cake decorating, but also a comedian. The left pumpkin says "eat more beef" if you squint really hard. They obviously think crazy pumpkins in illegible colors with flaming turtles are cuter than the Chick-Fil-A cows.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLora

Little known fact: Participants at the First Thanksgiving got a hold of some bad Peyote...this is what they saw.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

Unless I'm mistaken, those "Aztec symbols" say "eat more beef." Creepy.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGuJiaXian

Is it just me, or it says "Eat more beef"?? How appropriate lol.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My favorite has to be the turtle whose shell is on fire! Thanks for the laughs.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMare

Truly tragic! I feel sorry for anyone who would even consider purchasing such monstrosities!

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercgogis

Does that say Eat More Beet? LOL. I can't believe how horrible these turkeys are... I never knew beaks could be so difficult to make on a cake!

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLina

Aw Jen - you're just stuck in the old ways. These cakes are the future, man. Art doesn't have to be real - it just has to make you feel. Unfortunately, this art makes me feel kinda icky.

And I think Chik-Fil-A has someone to sue with the last cake. Aren't they the ones with the 'Eat More Beef' campaign? That's what the little sign says on the left.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

"Eat... more... beef"

Ew.

I have a turkey wreck sitting in my camera, but it's on a cookie. Is that okay for cake wrecks?

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJan Andrea

The one you were confused about? Obviously some sort of sun with a strange solar flare. And yes after much squinting I DID see words...well letters anyway.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHey You

Well, the 4th one down is clearly some sacrifice to the sun gods to bring us good weather on Thanksgiving. Those feathers, you see, are the rays

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

My five year old says the first one looks like a "squid turkey" lol.

Melissa

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm fairly certain it says "Eat More Beef" on the sign above the pumpkin on the left. Pretty comical, but awful handwriting. And shouldn't the turkey be saying it, not a pumpkin?

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDan Guerrero

OK...that last one is just plain scary. :)

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

Once I realized you meant Davy Jone from Pirates of the Caribbean and not Davy Jones from the Monkees, it made sense. Your comment that is, not the cake.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaurie

The icing! The icing!
Oh, the carnage!

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterad

Yes, a turtle who demands you "Eat More Beef" (or Beff). Looks like someone is ripping off Chick-Fil-A. But who eats that much turtle?

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterValarie

I thought the "angry tree demi-god" was a spider.

And do the words on the pumpkin's head say "EAT MORE BEE"? Aren't they disappearing fast enough without encouraging us to eat them?

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

My vote goes to cake 4 for looking most like a turkey...the rest are weird space creatures.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKat

I think the pumpkin is saying "eat more beef," which makes me sad and giggly at the same time.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Words fail me, but "Eat More Beef" is not the caption I'd put to the last turkey (and I mean that in the sense of a dud).

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"tree demi-god" - that's great!!

My kids had the same reaction as I did to cake #4: "It looks like it's made out of corn cobs!"

And I'm getting Earthworm Jim feelings on cake #5. :D

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

I weep for cake art.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy McMean a.k.a McSunshine

Does the Aztec thingy say "Eat More Beef"? And that is one nasty turkey neck!

Happy Thanksgiving!

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWatsonFamily

The little pumkin says "Eat More Beef"....First time commenter, I love your blog, it always starts my day off right!

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Why do crazy deformed pumpkins care if we eat more beef? I think the unidentifiable one is in fact sporting tentacles. Cthulu fhtagn!

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterOphelia

Thank goodness the sticker lets us know that it is indeed a "turkey variety pullapart" cake. I don't know why anyone would be confused by that. And why would the pumpkin be concerned about us eating beef rather than sugar turkeys? Is beef made of squash?

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterteacherlady

Twizzlers = Spider turkey

Awesome.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

Number Four, Well that's the incredibly rare Octoturkey!!! The Octoturkey is seen in November slinking around grocery store bakeries, leaving a trail of buttercream frosting. On-lookers scream as it scales and mounts the lobster tank, where it devours the defenseless rubberband clawed creatures in seconds. When the beast's appetite is quieted, it returns to its plastic cave to sleep off the meal.

And THAT'S why your cake sometimes smells like seafood.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRobyn

Jen, love the wreckitude. Keep it coming, you make mornings at work far nicer! I've got some ideas about what some of those cakes are maybe supposed to be...
Okay, number 1: It's Turkthulu, a lesser-known creature of Lovecraft's. Seriously, it looks like icing on a board. I'm assuming it's a dreaded CCC. {shudder} Moving on...
Number 2: apparently someone forgot that we don't use the egg-shaped pan for this holiday.
Number 3: you nailed that spot-on. But at least it has sprinkles. =)
Number 4: That's gotta be a spider. 8 legs, weird design on the back, yeah, spider. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Number 5: I'm with you - snake in a dress. Which only begs the question, "Why?!" But, of course, so do the rest of these.
Okay, hoping you (and the rest of the American readers) have a happy Turkey day! (And to the non-Americans, well, hope you at least have a good weekend =) ).

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSister Raven

Is it Sunday yet?

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersophanne

OK, geek flag flying now... but do you not think that the first wreck looks an awful lot like the new dalek hybrid in the Dr Who episode in Manhatten? (maybe a bit more rasta though, haha)
http://s28.photobucket.com/albums/c228/tennant05/evo/114.jpg

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBecca

I think the 4th one may be the spider cake from Halloween gone radioactive.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterloriannjmu

I think the 4th one may be the spider cake from Halloween gone radioactive.

Word verification: rednesse - the special touch that your redneck family members put on the holiday decorations

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterloriannjmu

The Aztec pumpkin headdress says "Eat More Beef." Hmm. Clever.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLydia

Oh- did it ever take me awhile to make out the words on the pumpkins head. Why, 'eat more beef', of course! What a creative marking for a pumpkin head!

www.thesouthernfamily.blogspot.com

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Southern Mama

Some of these are really scary! The words above the left pumpkin are "Eat More Beef" LOL

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMs.Scartastic

Yet another demonstration on how we put poo on a cake but the lines are pretty straight so I have to give a little credit.(referring to first cake)

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPenny

Mr. Hankey, The Thanksgiving Poo! Finally, he's in cake form.

eeewww.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

The little pumpkin is so happy!...Is he really telling us to eat more beef?

I guess that's in the best interest of the turkey/turtle (turkle?) but it's like a Chick-fil-a ad gone awry. Maybe that's the point?

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the guy on the left is saying "Eat More Beef"

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthj

The pumpkin says "eat more beef" - so long as it isn't a beef cake. Ewwww.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCandace Jean July 16

The last cake, it would appear that something inappropriate somehow got eyes!....use your imagination. Oh wait...you don't have to.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMadison

So the sign on the pumpkin says "Eat More Beef". Uh huh.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWeims319

All that my 6 yr old could say as she peered over my shoulder was, OH! I think that says it all.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersues2u2

The Market Pantry cake is supposed to be a Native American god of harvest: the stylized turkey head surrounded by various colors of maize, representing the fall feast of plenty.

... Yep, that's it.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdiopsideanddiamonds

That demigod cake is so sorry I kind of want to take it home with me.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAll Adither

The weird Aztec words say "Eat more beef"

I thought the last turkey looked like someone's portrayal of extreme animal cruelty, setting the poor turkey aflame before it's even been slaughtered. But a turtle with it's shell on fire is much funnier.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

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