Chappy Chanukah

Carly e-mailed yesterday to chastise my current completely-Christmas collection of carnage. She asked that I share some equal-opportunity Wreckage for my Jewish homies to "enjoy."

Now, I can only work with what I'm given, so please don't take my excessive postings of Santa and Frosty and Poo-dolph as any kind of religious bias. Believe me, I will snicker equally at Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and even Winter Solstice Wreckage if given the chance.

Trouble is, those holidays just don't score many cakes. Still, let's see what we've got in the ol' Wrecks files, shall we?

[shuffle shuffle shuffle]

Ok, here's something: how about a little clashing blue icing, plastic flotsam, and an "ak"?:

I would make a crack about the KKK hiding out in "Hanukkak," but I think that might be construed as bad taste.

Still, could be worse, right? Can you imagine what would happen if a Wreckerator tried to draw the menorah or Star of David or dreidel?

Nah, me neither. But that's ok: I have examples. Heehee!

Here we have some (Ninja) Stars of David:

Yep, that's the trouble with tracing. Still, if you think of this as a Jewish Ninja's celebration cake, then it's actually pretty darn cool. (See, they're off to the side because they're in motion. Eh?)
(And yes, I double-checked: it's professional.)

Unfortunately I couldn't find a good dreidel Wreck - but I think this "Menorah" more than makes up for it:

Time to light the alien ribcage!

So to all my Jewish readers: Happy Hanukkah! Please send more Wrecks.

And in the meantime, I think people of all nations and beliefs can come together, get along, and enjoy spectacles like this:

"Who's laughing now, fat boy?!?"

Speaking of ninjas, Seisen, Jennifer, Beth C., & Jenna W., have you seen the ninja nursery John & I painted for our friends? Granted, it has nothing to do with cakes, but I get the feeling this is the right demographic for that sort of thing.

- Related Wreckage: Goy Gaffes

Santa Shockers

What, the angry Santas on Monday didn't scare your kids straight? Ok, new game plan: we'll show them how disappointed the big guy is when they shove Crayons up little Austin's nose.

"They did what?!?"

That's right, children: kids who misbehave turn Santa's smile upside down.

Kind of like Wreckerators.
(Although Wreckerators do it more literally.)

In fact, boys and girls, your naughty antics could cause dear Old Saint Nick's mascara to run:

And do you really want to be responsible for that? Huh? Do you?

Here's another reaction you don't want from Santa come gift-giving time:

And you thought no one knew about the hamster incident.

So to sum up, remember, kids: Santa works on the reward system. Minor offenses = mild dismay:

Whereas major offenses, on the other hand...

[wincing] Oooh, not good.

Yes, Santa's cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding:

you are SO not getting another flame thrower this year.

Careful now, Perry, Lacey M., Ray D., Heather I., Tara B., & Erica L.; I hear wallpaper is flammable. Not that I would know, of course; that's just what I hear.

- Related Wreckage: Totally Cheating