My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

And They Say Customer Service is Dead

Apparently this cake was ordered from an upscale local bakery, but when the customer came to pick it up the order had been "misplaced". To remedy the situation, the decorator on duty - no doubt in a rush of self-sacrificing heroism - grabbed another finished order, wiped off the inscription with a paper towel, and wrote what you see.

So, on top of the big cloudy wiped-up area, the inscription is misspelled and in quotation marks. And while we're on the topic, what is with the wide-spread love affair between cake-decorators and quotation marks? Is it written on the order that way? Are they just practicing their mad piping skilz? Or do they assume everything written in icing is somehow less sincere? (I "Love" You, "Happy" Birthday, Thanks for Being Our "Dad", etc)

At any rate, let's all "Congraniate" "Nicole" and "Mark" on finding the best "customer service" in town. And guys, we mean that. "Really".


I'll Take My Chances

Either this is the new "Russian Roulette" event in a Competitive Eating Competition, or someone is trying to tell the cake-lover in their life to start prioritizing. If said cake-lover is anything like me, however, he or she would be reading the word "Poison" with 3 bon bons already stuffed in her cheeks, chipmunk style.

And lest you think the odds are 1 in 6, like I initially did, look again. There are actually bon-bons ringing the whole cake, so your odds are more like 1 in 30. Well, assuming you only eat one, of course, which we all know would be against the laws of nature.

Aside from the possible poisoning attempt, this cake also breaks the laws of good taste by employing a sporadic color palette, sickly-looking yellow "flowers" (I use the term loosely), and a general over-use of the star tip: it looks like someone decorated the whole thing with a Redi-Whip can. Also, if we're to assume those red things are berries (see, John? I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt!), why are most of them centered on the "leaves"?