Don't Toy With Me, Man

It probably started innocently enough.

"Hey, let's add a little stuffed rattle to this design, as a free bonus!'"

"We all know how much babies like cake!"

Now, despite the fact that this design requires no decorating skills whatsoever, it does have the fatal flaw of being a cupcake cake. [hawww ptooiee!] Which means, more often than not, you're going to get something like this instead:

"What the heck is it?"

"Who cares? Look, a free baby rattle!'

So, they nixed the CCCs and started putting the little stuffed toys on mini-cakes:

The vicious Venus Monkey Trapcake snares another victim.

Then they really started to mess with us.

1) Just how big is this cake?

2) Conversely, how tiny is that stuffed lamb?

3) Whichever it is, did the Wreckerator really think that lamb effectively "filled the space?"

4) Why put a baby's stuffed animal on an engagement cake, anyway? It has nothing do to with the design! It's like the cake was being wheeled past and the little guy just hopped on Bruce Willis style, riding it out to freedom while the building exploded around him.
(Ok, that last bit could be wishful thinking on my part.)

Of course, just when you think a little stuffed lamb might be appropriate, like on a baby shower cake, they go and do this:

That is solid icing, y'all. "Suprise!" indeed.

(Yes, I know "suprise" is spelled wrong.)

But getting back to the stuffed animals: like goldfish, these things are growing to fill their containers:

Sensible? Sanitary? Sane?

Good questions, all.

But perhaps the most important question of all is: When future generations look back on the day the "fake fur fiber fad" began, will this be one of Wikipedia's illustrations?

"With its high levels of sugar, fat, and 'colon-cleansing synthetic fiber', the Plush & Flush Diet soon became an overnight sensation in the U.S."

Bill B., Caryn C., Becky, Lisa Z., Kristen F., Allie C., & Emily B., more on point (ballerina pun ftw!), when do they start plopping Xbox 360's on these things, with little icing borders? "That'll be $467.39, please. Oh, and if you want games, then you have to buy the cupcakes separate."

- Related Wreckage: Phony

Sunday Sweets: Hope Springs Eternal

Many of you know Cakegirls from the show Amazing Wedding Cakes, or from Food Network cake challenges. Sisters Brenda and Mary and their staff have a reputation for fantastic, modern cake art, like this:

Many of you also know that on the morning of March 29th, the Cakegirls bakery tragically burned to the ground. Fortunately no one was hurt, but they did lose everything - and their staff is jobless until they can rebuild.

I have no doubt that Cakegirls will be back, bigger and better than ever, before too long. In the meantime, though, since their website gallery is currently down, here are a few of their lovelies I had on file:

I think this is my favorite; the yellow with the stripes is so cheerful, don't you think?

If you'd like to show your support for the girls, then buy a Cakegirls t-shirt. The proceeds will help all of the employees stay afloat until the bakery can rebuild.

But wait, I have more!

Read on a for a sweet story.

This next cake is by Jane, of Cakes Come True and Truffles, Too in Cincinnati. Jane has no idea I'm writing this today, or even that I write a blog (much less this one! [evil snicker]), but I recently had an encounter with her I'd like to share.

First, some quick background: For the past 9 months or so, I've been following the story of junior Wreckie Jacob Taylor, a courageous 9-year-old who battled brain cancer with a big smile, right up until the day he earned his wings. On the tearful day when we learned Jacob was gone, I read that the funeral reception would be serving food, and naturally thought of sending some sweets over.

Since this was in another state, I scrambled to find a local baker. I found Jane's website, and John called her. Miraculously, she agreed to make and deliver three cakes with less than 24 hours notice. Amazing, right?

Ah, but there's more...

About a week later, John and I got a card from Jane. In it, she told us she was so touched by Jacob's story that she'd decided to take all of the money we paid her and donate it- in his memory - to The Cure Starts Now, an organization working to cure pediatric brain cancer.

Now, if you're like me, then sometimes you get convinced that pretty much everyone on the planet sucks. (Or at the very least, everyone on the internet. Heh.) Some days you think everyone is just too self-absorbed to care. But sometimes, on those days, someone like Jane will come along, and give you a little hope. She didn't know us, or Jacob, and she had a regular 9-5 job in addition to her bakery business, but she still went above and beyond for us and for Jacob's family. So Jane, you rock. Thank you.

Well, that's my sweet story. Stay tuned for our regularly scheduled sarcasm.

- Similar Sweets: Cute-Tastic!