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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Jul142008

Lost in Translation?

I know what you're thinking, you crass people, you. You're just bursting to say something devastatingly witty that involves the word "crap" right now, aren't you? Uh-huh; I knew it.

Alright, then, rather than stifle it, let's just get this all out of systems, shall we? It'll be cathartic. Turn to the person next to you...what, there's no one nearby? Ok, go get someone. I'll wait.

Ok, are there at least 2 of you here now? Good. Now, look at the cake, turn to the person(s) next to you, and make all the obvious, disgusting, and profane jokes you can think of. You get extra points for saying the exact same thing at the same time. Running low on material? Try guessing what that inscription says, or what occasion the cake was for. (For example: Just-Found-Out-My-Boyfriend-Is-Cheating-On-Me Day, with an inscription that includes the word "eat".)

All done? Got it all out of your system? Can we discuss this like rational adults now?

Nah, I didn't think so, either.

Before you comment: yes, we all know what it looks like, people, so there's no need to spell it out for us, mmkay? Let's try to keep our comments as clean as possible, or failing that, to at least use the "*" key when necessary. Thanks, all!

Sunday
Jul132008

The Creepiness Continues


Not all Cake Wrecks are a result of poor construction, as you can see from this example. Some cake artists just seem to forget that, at the end of the day, their creation is meant to be eaten. Can you seriously imagine being told to slice up and serve this cake?

And baby shower cakes seem to be the worst offenders in this vein. People, try to think outside the box, will you? Just because the occasion has "baby" in the name doesn't mean the cake has to BE a baby, mmkay? You don't see bridal shower cakes made to look like the bride, do you? Oh, wait - scratch that example...

But getting back to this cake - I think the worst part is that the baby is staring at me. No, really - check out the right eye. [shudder] Dang, that would be spine-tingling even if it were a real baby, you know? (And can you imagine being the person who gets served that eye? Eeeek- I'm going to give myself nightmares.) Call me finicky, but I really can't eat anything that looks like its looking at me.

Still not creeped out? Then watch the video of this cake's construction. The final few seconds are the stuff horror flicks are made of ("The eye! It's opening! Aaauggh!!!).