Keen for Quinoa

Bakers, I think you need to see this.

This, my friends, is a turkey.

Now, I know this comes as a shock. After all, you've been lied to all these years! But then, how could you possibly have known that turkeys actually DON'T all come in cans?

Now that's what we call a "can-doo" attitude!

In fact, when you think about it, it's really only natural to assume a turkey with a head injury bleeds rainbows:

Or that baby turkeys are cute enough to turn even hardened carnivores into raw vegans:

"Please, sir, might you consider the tofurkey this year? I hear it's lovely with a bit of quinoa."

Of course, some of you chose to model your turkeys on other things.

Like flamingos...

Or your least favorite cousin...

Or, from the looks of things, your last colonoscopy:

"Personally, I've taken a shine to the 'frizzy fecal' style."

Still, the good news is you bakers have always known exactly what a turkey sounds like:

Honestly, it's uncanny.

Thanks to Scott A., Kathryn S., Beth P., D.W., Dion H., Karen, & Mike B. for inspiring me to shout "gooble gooble!" at every lawn flamingo I see. That's right, neighbors, who's the "antisocial recluse" now? Huh? HUH?!

You Say Hello, And I Say Goodbye

The arrival of a new baby is usually a time of joy and celebration.

Er...usually.

"Well, the stork was busy, so we figured we'd just chuck the lil' tyke out around 30,000 feet. Why? Is that a problem?"

You know, people are always talking about the sweet little toes and fingers and stuff, but you want to know the CUTEST part?

"Jus' wookit dat widdle ootsey wootsey skulley wulley!"

"Hey, anyone else think Julie's looking a little tense today?"

"It's all downhill from here, kid.

"MWUAH-HA-HA-HAAA!!"

Ahem.

"We call this one the 'Tub of Love:'"

"What do you mean, you're not supposed to put babies in full bathtubs?

"Ok, ok, FINE."

[splashing]

[thump]

"Better?"

Thanks to Elizabeth S., Marisa T., Anne J., Emily L., & Jilissa K. for throwing up the baby with the bath water.

Oh, throw OUT?

Um... sure, ok, thanks for that, too.