"Guest" "Post"

One of the joys/perils of writing a semi-popular website is the steady stream of unsolicited offers - often from questionable sources - to write guest posts.

Usually they go something like this:

"Dear Site Owner ,

I am a writer of excessive fame and sexual prowess who often takes pity on quaint sites like your own because I am also a fan. I especially enjoyed [insert yesterday's post title here], and found it quite informational.

For our mutual benefit, I am prepared to write a guest post for your site, provided you place my 150 by 120 ad in your sidebar, link to my LinkedIn profile, and tattoo my middle name inside a giant heart on your ass.

Please let me know how soon this can be arranged.

Signed,

IHaveAPillForThat

So just for kicks and giggles (and because we're all suffering from Oscar hangovers anyway) I figured I'd take this guy up on his offer. Today's post is the result.

"Enjoy."

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Cake is a form of bread or bread-like food. In its modern forms, it is typically a sweet and enriched baked dessert. In its oldest forms, cakes were normally fried breads or cheesecakes, and normally had a disk shape.

Determining whether a given food should be classified as bread, cake, or pastry can be difficult.

[photo]

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Wreck was an indie rock band formed in Milwaukee, Wisconsin in 1988, and later based in Chicago. After releasing three albums the band split up in the mid-1990s, with singer/guitarist Dean Schlabowske going on to join The Waco Brothers.

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Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Fusce sit amet ligula ut lacus rutrum vulputate sed non enim. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Sed pellentesque odio vitae lorem malesuada convallis. Suspendisse varius metus ut arcu scelerisque interdum. Morbi ut scelerisque nibh. Duis nulla purus, adipiscing non rhoncus a, consequat in dolor. Praesent luctus, urna vel congue tincidunt, elit ante vulputate metus, nec sagittis sem orci at sem.

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Using an electric mixer, in a large bowl, beat butter with 1 cup sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs and yolks, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add vanilla; beat until combined.

Alternately add flour mixture and milk, beginning and ending with flour mixture; beat just until combined. Divide batter between prepared pans.

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Sunday Sweets: You're The Top!

Hello and welcome to The Wedding Cake Topper Emporium! Thank you for choosing us for all your wedding cake topper needs! From the improper to the show-stopper, we've got every type of topper! That's our slogan. I made it up myself. Here, let me show you around...

I can see that you're a special couple, and not just any old cake topper will do, no. You need to tell the story of your love through fondant and frosting! For instance, did you meet on a boat? Get engaged in a canoe? Reeeeeally like the movie Titanic?

Submitted by Nikki and made by Torten-Lotta

Near, far, wherever you are, here is the topper for you!

No, wait, don't tell me. You're a professor at the local university. She's the campus librarian who caught your eye. Each week you headed to the library to check out The Princess Bride, hoping that she would finally notice you and strike up a conversation about Buttercup and Westley...

Submitted by Vivienne V-L. and made by Peachy Juban

...wherein, beguiled by your wit and grace, she asked to meet you for coffee later, to which you replied with a breathy "As you wish." Your eyes locked, and at that moment you fell truly, madly, and deeply, and now you crazy kids want to commemorate it all on your wedding cake topper!

(Which even comes in a handy fun-size to send home with your guests!)

But maybe I'm being a bit too specific.

Perhaps a simple set of lovebirds would do the trick?

Submitted by Emma F. and made by Flickr user sugar_rush_confections

So strikingly sophisticated!

Or perhaps you had your first date in a park? Carved your initials in a tree? (So cute!) And there happened to be a lot of sheep around?

Submitted by Angie I. and made by Jagode & Dinozavri

Ha ha, what fun! We've got the topper for you!

Or were you childhood sweethearts? (Ahh, schoolyard romance...)

Submitted by Emily B. and made by All About Cake

Why not display your devotion with our patented 'Charmingly-Childlike Doodle Topper?' It's like a chalkboard drawing come to life!

Oh, I am growing rather fond of you two. You're such a couple of characters!

By Erin Salerno

Or should I say caricatures?

If you're finding it hard to make a decision, how about a compromise? It's the secret to successful marriages, I hear! So why not let the bride choose the cake, and the groom choose the topper?

Made by Laura A.

Or maybe in this instance it was the other way around. Either way, everybody wins!

Our Serengeti Sunsets line is also quite popular, representing solidarity, security and sensuality!

Submitted by Keeley S. and made by Bubolinkata

May your marriage be blessed with all three! And may you also be blessed with a honeymoon in the Serengeti, because wow, even in cake form it's gorgeous!

Ahhh, now here is one of my favorite toppers. Remember when your man went all Edward Cullen on you, and composed you your very own song? This beautiful topper can be an ode to your love, and an ode to your ode! (Does that make sense? It made sense in my brain. You know, before I said it out loud).

Submitted by Kristy L., and made by The Cupcake Gallery

Look at the bride's delicate little curl of hair! So demure and delightful, I think I'm getting weepy.

And finally, if you're looking for something over-the-top, sometimes it helps to look at the very bottom.

The bottom of the sea, that is!

Submitted by Kate O. and made by deviantART user ~The-EvIl-Plankton

"Darling it's better, down where it's wetter, under the sea!"

You can't see it, but the octopus is actually shaking eight tiny maracas*.

*Ok, not really. But wouldn't that be awesome?

Well, thanks so much for visiting The Wedding Cake Topper Emporium. Remember, we're your one-stop-cake-topper-shop! Shop till you drop at our topper shop! 'Cuz we don't sell no slop! At the hop! Pop pop, don't stop!

Yes, I'm done.

Have a Sweet to nominate? Then send it Sunday Sweets [at] Cake Wrecks [dot] com.