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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
May192017

YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET A YEAR-FULL

You're not going to believe this, minions, but Cake Wrecks is nine years old today.

I know, I know; and here we don't look a day over threeth.

 

Yes, against all odds, through dangers untold, and hardships unnumbered, Cake Wrecks has fought its way to becoming a veritable dinosaur in the online world.

A dino named Rex, of course.

 

We've survived national disasters, online controversies, three presidential elections, three book tours (or was it four?), economic downturns, Facebook's soul-crushing algorithm, and that time John accidentally banned Canada. We've spawned memes, tributes, fan wrecks, and Epcot bunkers. We've outlived most - if not all - of our contemporaries, watching in bemused horror while long-standing humor sites died, were bought-out, or were bought-out and then died.

We rejected our own offers, though, because I figure if Cake Wrecks ever goes down, it's going down with me.

And hopefully with less airbrushing.

 

So here John and I've sat, in our virtual rocking chairs, on our metaphorical front porch, making snarky comments about the allegorical hairstyles of today's whippersnapper websites - and wondering how we can ever hope to top the past nine years.

After a lot of thought, we came up with something.

We decided this year is going to be our best yet - for you AND for us.

 

So starting next week, we're going to be counting down the Top 312 Cake Wrecks Posts Of All Time. That's right, you'll see the greatest, most hysterical wreckage out of nine years and over 3,000 posts - and on Sundays, the most stunning Sweets.

Now, John's spent the last few weeks ranking and reviewing our entire archives, and let me tell you: I don't remember 80% of these posts, and I'm the one that wrote them. So this will be a wrecky romp down Foggy Memory lane, the Cliff's Notes of Cake Wrecks, the cream of the crop, the best of the best, and bring us screeching into our 10 year anniversary in sweet, wrecktastic style.

All your favorites. All our favorites. All year long.

Not sure what this means (Age gets attacked by Beauty wielding a chainsaw?) but it feels appropriate here.

 

And THAT is how we top 9 amazing years: By cramming all the highest highs together. By looking back and reliving every laugh-'til-we-pee moment. By saying "HOW did I never see THIS one?" because if *I* don't remember most of these, then you can bet your convoluted cupcake cakes (patooie!) that you won't, either.

John and I will still be here 6 days a week. We'll be active on Facebook, moderating your comments, and of course I'll still be sharing all our non-cake adventures over on Epbot. The only real difference is that, for the next 365 days, every single post you see on Cake Wrecks will be one of our best ever.

I hope you'll stick around. It's gonna be fun.

 

And thanks to Emily A., Valerie D., Danielle B., & Anony M. for the excellent wreckporting.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« Story Time Sweets | Main | Bad Giraffe! BAAAAD! »

Reader Comments (77)

I've only been following for about five years (a rookie!), and I CAN'T WAIT to see your greatest hits. The King cakes alone will be amazing. Many congratulations to you!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRoberta

Happy 9rd Birthday!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJammies

Actually, I'm almost sure I will remember all of them.

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRosa

I took a basic cake decorating class at my local Michael's about 5 years ago. I learned some useful decorating techniques, but the most valuable thing I learned from my instructor was that there was a funny cake blog online called Cake Wrecks. I spent the next few weeks going through all the archives, starting with the first post until I caught up and have been following along ever since! You guys never fail to make me laugh every day, and for that, I thank you! Also, I've learned to not to be so hard on my cake decorating skills, because there's always a cake wreck worse than anything I've ever made! So I look forward to reliving your wonderful, wacky commentaries and finding out where my all-time favorite post, Pan-Wow!, falls in the best of the best list!
Hi mel !!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMoviemom

Your post instantly brought me back to the first day I read CakeWrecks, probably 8 years ago? I was literally wiping tears of laughter over a Thanksgiving turkey cake and then spent the next couple of hours going back to read every single post. You've been at the top of my favorites bar ever since, and I had a wonderful time on your first book tour in Orlando. I still have the T-shirt I made to wear there, which depicts the cake with Dogbert saying, "Out, out, you demons of stupity!"

Very much looking forward to the blast from the wrecky past!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Happy birthday, Cake Wrecks! I've followed you for at least 8 of your 9 years running, and I love this site so much. I'm so proud of you guys for surviving - and thriving - so long. Here's to at least 9 years more of wrecky goodness!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLibby

Congratulations, John & Jen! Cake Wrecks & Epbot are a couple of reasons why the internet is awesome!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterGypsygrrl

Conndrgalctians! It has been a wonderful 9 year ride. We now have a keyboard with a protective cover. Here's to 9 years more!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterjeliecam

Good to know you're still out there, mel. And, like mel, I found CakeWrecks at a low time in my life - coming off a major medical problem and with a new boss who was a tyrant. CakeWrecks was part of my evening decompression and helped me keep my sanity. Congratulations on your anniversary, Jen and John (thoj)! Seeing some of the old ones will be fun, although I hope there will be some new ones, too. Maybe add new ones on Saturday. There's so much good fodder out there!

May 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Congratulations on nine years! I am sitting in anticipation now for all the upcoming fun times. Can't wait to see what the next year brings.

May 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Congreatulayshons you two! Can't believe it's your 9st anniebearsery already.

I did go back to the beginning shortly after I discovered you, so I expect a lot of the "greatest hits" to ring at least a small bell...but you'll get no grumbles from me: I know it's going to be a great ride.

Wishing you all the best for another fabulous and hilarious year. :D

May 20, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

Sorry 'bout the clip pooooost!

Have no fear, we've got posts for years!

Like

JEN BECOMES A ROBOOOOOOT!

HOW 'BOUT A CRAZY WEDDIIIIIING?


Cheers!

Storm

May 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterStorm

Congratulations on making it to nine years!

I'm pretty sure I've been reading Cake Wrecks for that long, but I don't remember all the wrecks either, so I'm looking forward to the "greatest hits".

Thank you Jen & John and everyone else who makes this website possible. You bring a spot of joy into my life every day.

May 20, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterrisforrose

Happy 9st Anniversary! (wiill be sure to empty bladder before logging on next week, not pregnant , just mature)
Thank you for the great joy, wishing you many more!

May 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRosie

Yay, yay, YAY! Happy niner. I am so glad you two have stuck out these years, you've added many laughs to my days.

So, will these Cakes of Wreckmas past be presented with the original comments or will those be carnage on the by-way? (Where IS HaikuJoy?) Meanwhile I am putting on my seatbelt and looking very forward to Cakewrecks 9.0.

May 20, 2017 | Unregistered Commentermsanthrope

Totally awesome Jen + John (thoJ)! Have been long time fan and coffee spitter. Within the past 6 months I have learned not to have a full mouth of food, coffee, water, soda (especially soda) when reading Cakewrecks. I read a many blogs of all sorts + I can say w/all honesty Cakewrecks is my first go-to blog in the morning. I like to start off the day with a guffaw.
So miny hapy retertns on yourr 9rd bogiversarry and hears too meny moore!
Love you guys!
MaryO1230

May 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

Happy Happy!!! I love the "Best Of" theme for the year. It's going to be a blast!!! <3

May 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Any chance there may be another run of carrot jockey merch for the 10th anniversary? Pretty please, Bambi eyes, etc, etc. :)

May 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTAL

Yahoooo!!

May 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSunsangnim

John accidentally banned Canada? I must have missed that!

May 21, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAlice Shortcake

Happy Wreckiversay with sprinkles!

May 21, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTariC

Happy 9nd birdday Cake Wrecks! Look forward to seeing your Greatest Hits!

May 21, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRoxy Random

A rerun of the original Spaceship Earth post..........uhhh..... would pretty much cover summer..
* just saying*...

May 21, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Happy birthday Cake Wreck! Thanks for 9 years of laughs!

May 21, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLisa Wiklund

ABSOLUTELY FANDAMNTASTIC ANNIVERSARY IDEA!
I am thrilled!
------>APPLAUSE<------

May 21, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterClumber

Why does this feel like a year long goodbye? CakeWrecks isn't going anywhere, it it?

May 21, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

Uh, Jen? Are you sure that's a..., um, uh, chainsaw??

May 22, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

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