Grammar Geeks, UNITE!
March 3, 2017 K, people, confession time:
Do unnecessary quotation marks make your eye twitch?
;)
Have you ever left a comment on a friend's Facebook status explaining why it's "couldn't care less," not "could care less?"
Do you fix the spelling mistakes in other people's tweets before retweeting them?
Are you required by forces beyond your control to whip out a pen and correct misspelled store signage?
;)
Must...cross out...apostrophe...
(And then...fix...capitals...)
(And then...add...exclamation marks...)
And finally, do you not only know what the Oxford comma is, but have a passionate stance on its usage?
If the answer to any of those is yes then you, my friend, are a fellow grammar geek. And tomorrow is our day. That's right; it's National Grammar Day! WAHOO!
Finally - FINALLY - we can pick apart spelling and grammar errors without fear of judgment from the text-speak-writing language butchers who keep "loosing" their minds! Tomorrow we will NOT be the nit-picking jerks of the comment section; tomorrow we'll be HEROES. HEROES, I SAY!!
AHAHAHAHAAA!!
So let's get right to it:
Ah, yes. [pushing up glasses] You see, "whose" is an interrogative possessive pronoun, while "who's" is the contraction for "who is." In this context, someone is apparently asking for the identity of the owner of something euphemistically known as "40."
Haha! Isn't that a SCREAM?!
I honestly don't know why I'm not invited to more parties, you guys.
Maybe I should have started with something a little more common, though:
;)
Now, see, there's an easy way to avoid this situation in the future:
Condoms.
And remember, it's "I before E except after C and when you're trying to write the word 'having.'"
;)
Also those little dots are called an ellipsis, and there should only be three of them.
YES I REALLY AM THAT PERSON.
Not to mention the way that's written makes it look like someone is "haveing" a weird scrolly symbol. (Maybe the artist formerly known as Prince invented a new species?)
Hey, do you guys watch Sherlock?
What am I saying? You read this blog and therefore have EXCELLENT taste in entertainment, so of course you watch Sherlock.
Anyway, remember the beginning of that episode where Holmes is interviewing a murderer, and he keeps correcting the thug's grammar?
That was awesome.
Now where was I?
;)
Ah yes, the importance of punctuation and discerning between "will" and "we'll."
It also appears this person isn't entirely certain that Dee Dee will miss me, which is hard to believe. I mean, in case you haven't noticed, I AM DELIGHTFUL.
And finally, allow me to share a quick word on foreign punctuation marks:
;)
Reader Comments (64)
Thank you for your post! My full-time job is to correct the grammar of students in grades five through eight. I have enjoyed your websites for years and continue to laugh with you on a daily basis.
However, I have a confession to make. You made a punctuation error in your post.
"And finally, do you not only know what the Oxford comma is, but have a passionate stance on its usage?"
You may not put a comma before the conjunction in this sentence since there is no subject in the second half. Therefore, it is not a compound sentence.
I'm sorry. I'll move on now...
:)
[puts left hand to heart and fans wet eyes with other hand.]
My people! I have found my people!
Usually I try to keep my grammar fixing impulses to myself, but on this post it seems quite appropriate to let the nerd flag fly. As such: Ellipses can have four dots, and even <I>should</I> when they end a sentence. The "..." indicates a pause or trailing off, but if it's at the end of the sentence it still needs a period after it. This is also why we can do things like "...?", to indicate a question that trailed off.
That said, the five dots on that cake are unnecessary and hilarious. :,)
And the number of the ellipsis shall be three. Thou shalt not stop at two, excepteth that thou shouldst then continueth on to three. Four shall be acceptable, but only in the case that thou art ending thine sentence; acceptable, yet...redundant. Five is RIGHT OUT.
Your post and some of these comments made me laugh. I love it that I am not the only "grammar Nazi". Did I do that right? It doesn't look right to put the period outside the quotation marks. ARGH! I WANT to FIX that! (I'm also OCD. Whether it's right or not, it doesn't look right to me.)
Re: punctuation in quotes
There are two main schools of thought on this. One school holds that punctuation always goes inside quotation marks. The other maintains that only punctuation that appeared in the original quoted material goes inside quotation marks. Personally, I prefer the latter approach.
TODAY IS MY DAY.
This just might be my favorite Cake Wrecks post of all time! And, yes, one should always use the Oxford comma.
Oxford comma forever!
I cannot tell you how much I love today's post! Not only are you a fellow grammar geek, you also watch and recommend Sherlock! My favorite show! And that scene where he corrects the criminal's grammar is a top favorite for me as well.
A writing teacher once accused me of using commas like salt, so maybe it's just me; but shouldn't there be a comma between memories and Dee Dee?
I like to comfort those who lack decent grammar by patting them on the shoulder and saying 'there, they're, their.'
Frequent mistakes that make me cringe: writing "whoa" as "woah," mixing up sell and sale, and unnecessary apostrophes in last names (ex. From: The Johnson's)
On the Dee Dee cake, it is entirely possible that Dee Dee will miss the recipient of the cake, the wrecker merely neglected to insert a period. "Thanks for the memories. Dee Dee will miss you!"