Grammar Geeks, UNITE!
K, people, confession time:
Have you ever left a comment on a friend's Facebook status explaining why it's "couldn't care less," not "could care less?"
Do you fix the spelling mistakes in other people's tweets before retweeting them?
Are you required by forces beyond your control to whip out a pen and correct misspelled store signage?
Must...cross out...apostrophe...
(And then...fix...capitals...)
(And then...add...exclamation marks...)
And finally, do you not only know what the Oxford comma is, but have a passionate stance on its usage?
If the answer to any of those is yes then you, my friend, are a fellow grammar geek. And tomorrow is our day. That's right; it's National Grammar Day! WAHOO!
Finally - FINALLY - we can pick apart spelling and grammar errors without fear of judgment from the text-speak-writing language butchers who keep "loosing" their minds! Tomorrow we will NOT be the nit-picking jerks of the comment section; tomorrow we'll be HEROES. HEROES, I SAY!!
AHAHAHAHAAA!!
So let's get right to it:
Ah, yes. [pushing up glasses] You see, "whose" is an interrogative possessive pronoun, while "who's" is the contraction for "who is." In this context, someone is apparently asking for the identity of the owner of something euphemistically known as "40."
Haha! Isn't that a SCREAM?!
I honestly don't know why I'm not invited to more parties, you guys.
Maybe I should have started with something a little more common, though:
Now, see, there's an easy way to avoid this situation in the future:
Condoms.
And remember, it's "I before E except after C and when you're trying to write the word 'having.'"
Also those little dots are called an ellipsis, and there should only be three of them.
YES I REALLY AM THAT PERSON.
Not to mention the way that's written makes it look like someone is "haveing" a weird scrolly symbol. (Maybe the artist formerly known as Prince invented a new species?)
Hey, do you guys watch Sherlock?
What am I saying? You read this blog and therefore have EXCELLENT taste in entertainment, so of course you watch Sherlock.
Anyway, remember the beginning of that episode where Holmes is interviewing a murderer, and he keeps correcting the thug's grammar?
That was awesome.
Now where was I?
Ah yes, the importance of punctuation and discerning between "will" and "we'll."
It also appears this person isn't entirely certain that Dee Dee will miss me, which is hard to believe. I mean, in case you haven't noticed, I AM DELIGHTFUL.
And finally, allow me to share a quick word on foreign punctuation marks:
Gesundheit.
Reader Comments (64)
I have to admit, I had to look up "oxford comma", so not only did I get a giggle/snort this morning but I also learned something new. The day can only get better and better, and yes, I am one of those people who cringe at grammatical errors. Haven't you wanted to get a long ladder and correct a billboard, especially one that you see everyday on the way to work?
Lovetty love love this post.
I'm convinced your post will make bakers who read it ten times less likely to make grammar errors then those didn't. (Chortle snort!)
Yes! I am a fellow grammar geek and always get overly excited when I meet someone who is as passionate about Oxford comma use as I am.
Really, it's unnatural how much I care about that dang comma.
This post is so me!!! When I was a teenager I was constantly correcting grammar. The Zoe "dots" and new "species" courtesy of the late Prince are perfect!! 😂😂😂😹
FINALLY; someone else who is also "silently correcting your grammar in my head". Bravo!!
I'm pro-serial comma as well, for the sake of clarity over infinitesimal time saving. (I don't call it the Oxford comma because Oxford University Press doesn't use it anymore.)
I really, really hope the decorator who did the roses for that second cake didn't see the final wrecked version. They are amazing! As for the grammar - any teachers out there? This would be a great way to teach children to spot errors. After all, everyone loves pointing out where other people got it wrong - right, Jen?
I want to apply to be an officer in your grammar police squad. Where do I report, Captain Jen?
Cake Wrecks has always been a safe and happy place for us Grammar Geeks, so thank you very much for that, Jen! And I, too, am pro-Oxford comma.
And now I am very nervous about my grammar in this post...
The "Whose '40'" (<-- is that punctuation right? Does quoting misused quotation marks follow the same grammar rule as quoting an actual quotation?) cake is clearly asking who lost their 40 oz beverage of choice (hint, it was Cat) or the original message could have been "Whose 40 Cats?" This post was super fun!
Ah, yes. The old "will" and "we'll" thing. (Is that too many quotation marks?)
One year a German student, working on the word for "wander", asked, in all seriousness "Is that wander like walk around, or I wander where she is?"
Just for the record, the student was an American.
Tomorrow I am totally taking white out and a sharpie with me EVERYWHERE! Also, in #1, should "much" be "many?" I mean, baked goods can be counted, are thus quantifiable, which would suggest "many."
Oxford Commas Save Lives
Jen! I never knew we were grammar geek soulmates! Thanks for the laugh today. Have a great weekend everyone.
Oh, and I was happy to see that Trop 50 recently changed the incorrect grammar in their commercial featuring Jane Krakowski and what's-his-name the trainer from The Biggest Loser! They formerly had her saying that Trop 50 has less calories,and finally fixed it to say "fewer calories." Oh happy day! Now, if they would only clarify the item with more calories to which they are referencing. (*Cowgirl pauses to laugh like Muttly the cartoon dog villian*)
Also, can we pause further to shake our head at those who use "of" instead of "have?" I.e., "You should of done that." AAAAIIIIIGH!!
And finally, I love the website Apostrophe Catastrophes!
These people must all be using respirators because otherwise they'd forget to breathe all night.
*laughsnort* This is one of my favorite posts ever! I'm excited to know that there is a National Grammar Day... and I'm surprised by people who do not have a strong position on the Oxford comma.
When I went to look up the lyrics for "Who's Sorry Now" by Connie Francis, A-Z Lyrics had the same "who's/whose" issue as the cake.
Whose sorry now?
Whose sorry now!
Who's "punctuation" just furrows my brow"
Who's spellings "bad."
Who makes me mad:
(Dee Dee won't bee missing you?)
Whose haveing fun!
Your not the one;
Who's cakes just make us say, "wow."
You had your way?
Don't make us pay?
Or will be real sorry now...............................................................................
I absolutely love today's post! And I'm pro-Oxford comma, too! Thanks for making my day!!!
Hilarious post, Jen! Thanks for all the laughs.
I'm such a grammar geek that I'm going to correct the grammar in some of my fellow commenters' posts. Please don't hurt me. Punctuation goes inside the quotation mark, not outside. The only exceptions are the colon and semicolon. So if you want to "quote," just remember to put that comma inside the closing "mark."
Word Crimes
Here is the perfect theme song for tomorrow.
Also an Oxford Comma gal.
Lovely, just lovely! Of course, I watch (watchED -- *sob*) Sherlock! Speaking of - (a true story)
Eh-em ...
Why I stopped watching Elementary (Ya'll know what it is).
Because there was one scene where U.S.-yet-British Sherlock was explaining to the polis captain that there had been a break-in at
ready for it?
"Watson and I's house."
uurrggghhhh!
Opp has opened a bakery overstock store. There. I fixed it.
Long live the Oxford comma!
I seem to remember from my high school days (many, many years ago) that while the ellipsis does indeed have three dots, if it is used at the end of a sentence, you would still add a period, making it four dots in all.
Who else wants to know what they would have gotten if they had ordered the cake saying instead: "Zoe, with an umlaut?"
I spent almost a full minute trying to decide why you didn't title this "Grammar Geeks, UNTIE!" I mean, come on. It was the perfect opportunity.
Hey, Classic Steve, I'm not sure if this is out-of-date (post is from 2011), but it appears that Oxford University Press still uses the Oxford Comma, From Grammar Girl: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/did-oxford-drop-the-oxford-comma?page=1
I noticed a grammatical error in one of the posts. The word "then" was used incorrectly *smirk*. Also, I am an Oxford (serial) comma junkie! Now can I see some babies riding carrots?! I hear they're hot this year!
SuBee for the win!
Misplaced apostrophes, an ellipsis with too many dots, and wrong pronouns give me a smile today!
My gawd...the babydaddy one just kills me!!!!!! Seriously???!!! It hurt my eyes.
So, while the ellipsis with "2 dots" ("over the E") is enjoying its time on the cake with the two dots formerly known as "haveing" and the extraneous "e", I will be....uhhh....
maybe having a good, stiff shot of something I don't even have...(DARN!)
=^O.o^= Hey! New band namel!> XtraneousE!
My friend Tanya is a math geek, and she made the grocery store sell her boxes of vanilla wafers at the price marked: $.99¢.
My favorite grocery store sign was advertising Thanksgiving-themed items. For sale were small "Prigrims."
Yes, yes, yes, yes, and (clearly) yes!
@SuBee, that was a classic post, I must say! I actually heard the music in my head. (It was not accompanied by voices, thank goodness!)
By the way, are any of you from the New York metropolitan area? If so, have you seen the latest lottery commercial? It is basically an "ode" to Cake Wrecks! The boredom of a junior baker is expressed through various cake inscriptions. When his supervisor finds out, she advises him to play a scratch-off game instead of wrecking cakes.
You're Strunk & White's i's showin'g.
Just sayin'.
Heh.
Just last night I lectured to one of my classes about the Oxford comma. It was an algebra class. Yes, I am that person.
By the way, Angie, I'm pretty sure that only Americans put the punctuation inside the quotation marks. I believe that the British do the logical and place them outside (unless they are part of the quote), as do I. (I have no idea what they do in Canada or Australia or any other English speaking country.)
Oh, this post is so great! Moreover, one thing that is putting a bee in my bonnet as of late is the use of the dollar sign after the amount: 10$ instead of $10...it gives my eye cramps.
Gotta add a few of my own grammar pet peeves of the month as I say thank you for giving us a sneak "peak" into the cake-grammar world. These cake decorators have surely been "lead" astray in their study of the English language.
Maria Teresa is right, it is only here in the USA where we do not use common sense as to where to put the final quotation mark. Seeing as how most people in the US also have no idea as to when or where to put an apostrophe, it does not surprise me. I also use the "Oxford" comma when it is necessary for the meaning, but not as a rigid rule.
I'm just glad to know there are still people in the world who care about grammar, punctuation, and their importance to sense in writing.
As a fellow stickler, I have to back up MariaTeresa - Brits and Australasians put punctuation in quotes only if it's part of the quoted phrase.
I am a complete grammar Nazi and am always correcting things. That Trop 50 ad drove me crazy so I am glad to hear they corrected it!
I love, love, LOVE Sherlock and the scene mentioned is one of my favorites! My current pet peeve is people using "to" when they mean "too" and "awe" instead of "aww" when trying to express joy as in "awe, he's so cute!" So wrong!
Great post!
I'm really sorry about what comes next. WE... CAN'T... HELP... IT...
"Tomorrow we will NOT be the nit-picking jerks of the comment section; tomorrow we'll be HEROES."
Both repetitions of the word "tomorrow" need to be set off by commas. As the Purdue Owl so helpfully reminds us, "tomorrow" constitutes a non-essential phrase in this context. See? Here's the explanation. https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/owlprint/607/
(We're lacing up our Nikes now and running to avoid thrown items. ;)
RE: that last cake. At least the people who requested it didn’t use the term “diaeresis.” I hate to think what the result would have been.
On second thought, I think I’d rather see that cake.
National Grammar Day tomorrow? The 4th? SATURDAY? Where's the fun in that? How can I terrorize my students and bore them with lame jokes????? How can I dazzle them with subjunctive mood and relative pronouns? Ah cruel fate.
Oh man lol. That Whose cake was so pretty too. Can't help it I love roses lol.
Love this post! Most of my pet peeves have been mentioned, but one has been used and not pointed out. The use of the word "everyday" when the words "every day" are more accurate. I once made the city I worked for fix brand new parking signs because their use of "everyday" drove me nuts. Once they fixed them to say "every day", I stopped noticing the signs.
I hearby note this as my favourite CakeWrecks!
Jen, you're the best.
I see that a number of people have responded about the punctuation/quotation thing. I found a comparison of British and American punctuation styles here: see the last paragraph.
CRS: yes, but what does FIVE dots mean?
Lisa, I believe an umlaut is an exotic creature of some sort; it may be related to an iguana. :p
Mike, "diaeresis" in the instructions might have given us squishier versions of the cakes Jen posted on Tuesday.
SuzyHolly, I'm not a math geek. Did your friend want to pay 99/100ths of a cent, and if so, did she get her change?
I think Oxford/serial commas make for more clarity, and usually use them, but I'm not fanatical about it.
"Condoms". Seriously, I nearly spit my coffee out on that one. Thanks for the laugh! (And Oxford commas FTW!)