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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jan132016

Pan-Wow

[adjusting headset mic]
[gelling hair]

Hi, it's john with Pan-Wow. This pan is shaped like a heart but it's also a pan so you can make cakes that are shaped like a heart.

A regular pan can only make cakes that look like a circle or a square, but the Pan-Wow can make a cake that looks like anything. Look at this apple.

You can't get an apple cake out of a round pan. Pan-Wow. It's a heart and it's an apple.

 

Use it at home, in the bakery, in the car or the boat. Going to a Halloween party?

Pan-Wow.

 

Oh, no. Is that a ghost?

No. It's a Pan-Wow.

 

Going tailgating at the football game?

Pan-Wow.

 

When you're done, just throw it in the dishwasher. It's metal. It's shaped like a heart. Look at these balloons:

There's three different colors.  You could use four colors.  Or five.  It doesn't matter.  Pan-Wow.

 

Made in Germany. You know the Germans always make good stuff. Use it for Christmas:

Why not? It's a Pan-Wow. It's a heart and it's Santa Claus.

 

What's that? You're graduating?

Now it's a hat. Amazing.

 

Got a steak? Put it in the Pan-Wow.

It's a heart and it's a steak. It's like a heart steak. But it could also be an apple/scary Halloween/ football/balloon steak. So many uses.

 

Is that the Easter Bunny?

Pan-Wow.

And if you comment within the next five minutes, we'll give you a Pan-Wow absolutely free.* You can't beat that. Order now.

 

Thanks to Lisa S., Erin M., Shelley B., Melissa G., Marie H., Cristina Z., Jyap, Sarah S., and Anna C. who don't mind the three easy payments of $29.95.

 

*Plus shipping and handling. Other charges may apply. Pan-Wow may not be made in Germany. Pan-Wow may not be metal. Pan-Wow may not be shaped like a heart. Pan-Wow may not enjoy being taunted.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« Elsa's Monkey Business | Main | The Weirdest Apology Cake I've Seen Yet »

Reader Comments (64)

The strip steaks in heart containers kill me. I could see some dude coming home on V-day, handing his gal that "heart" and say, "Happy Valentine's Day. Now go cook, woman."

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered Commentererin

Not to mention: Leprechaun, turkey, Baby butt ,American flag, and many, many more! If you order now, we will include a special adapter to make beautiful Valentine treats!

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTom

Pan-Wow can even show the graduation of a pair of anatomical balls. Isn't that amazing?

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAthena

Wow Just Wow! That last one... are you sure it's the Easter Bunny? I couldn't get my head all the way around to see.
Love Cake Wrecks! It's how I start my mornings!

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKandee

To be fair it only got really bad once you saw the Panwow balloon cake. I didn't think the Halloween one was so bad. The apple was a bit odd with the brown bit. But otherwise they weren't too bad.

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJdeaver

Spot on John! I actually have a Pan-Wow. Alas I have only used it to make heart-shaped cakes and giant cookies. I could have been using it to make other lovely baked delights such as Santa with enormous beard-covered knockers, or thong wearing butt cheeks. Getting out my pan now, have my decorating bag and icing all set. Imagine the possibilities! Thank you for the Pan-Wow hints John!

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

Ahhh, my dearest Cake Wrecks...have I told you lately that I love you?

You forgot to mention sushi in the Pan Wow. No lie! I've seen it done!

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterFrankyBeans

Not butt cakes???

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterFrankN.Stein

Epic, John (thoj). Just. Epic.
I love you guys.

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

I remember this from before, and it still makes me laugh like a loon.

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

But wait! There's more!

Order now and get this genuine pleather icing bag for just $19.99 more! Yes, I can't believe it either. Okay, let's take a caller:

Hi, this is Marge, and I just love my PanWow. I use it for baby shower cakes and ice ruffled diapers on it. I want to know if it comes in other sizes or colors.

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDB

After so many football helmet wrecks, all I can say is "Gee! Wow! My powder-puff lavender helmet cake looks GREAT! And clean-up was a breeze! Thanks Pan-Wow!!"
***not a spokesperson

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

Paging Tom Carvel...

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJ.

I think #2 and #3 are great examples of creativity and ingenuity and should not be called "wrecks".

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAnonyMe

THANK YOU for the Happy Fun Ball reference...Made my day a smidgeon less crappy!

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMedith

AND right next to the RAW heart-shaped steak, you can have a used-to-be-appealing heart-shaped strawberry shortcake. Next to the beef franks. Ewwwwwwwwwww.

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHAL

I was waiting for a butt cake made with Pan-Wow.

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

"Oh, no. Is that a ghost?" I lost it on that one.

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDer Musensohn

That poor bunny in the last cake looks like he got stuck in a very awkward spot during a magic trick, and he ended up in a Pan-Wow package. Poor bunny. . . . .

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Pan-Wow is Pan-fantastic! John you slay me.

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

Are you planning on making a post just like this, only with Butt Cakes? Because that heart pan just screams "Butt Cake" and I can't imagine they aren't out there.

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAamnda

I intend to pick up 2-3 Pan Wows as gifts! MaryO

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

Did I comment in time for my free (plus shipping and handling) pan wow?

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDrockbox

I don't know...I think some of these are pretty creative.

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHeather A

Some of those designs, in the hands of a skilled baker, could work....although these are great just for the giggles

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Don't get me wrong - I love the Pan-Wow, but this is the exact same post from 2012... I smell a glitch in the system?


[Editor's note- On Wednesdays, we always post a fan favorite from a few years ago for those new readers who might not have seen it. -john (thoJ)]

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNargles

What's for Valentine's Day dinner- hot dogs?! Can they be prepared in the Pan Wow?

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

Did I win? Oooh, I hope I won. How do I find out?

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJen (not that one)

Another caller:

Hi John (giggle) this is Matilda Arbuckle (giggle). Am I on the air? Welllll, I just wanted to suggest a great use for the PanWow. I use two of them to make the torso of my giant Barbie cakes. I could send you one (giggle) I just love your hair gel.

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDB

I dunno. I think I'll stick with my Pan-Tastic...

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

That's one butt-headed graduate.

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

What? No Haiku?

*ahem*

Overinflated
Balloon spermatozoa
Easy with Pan-Wow

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

No butt cake?! PAN WOW!

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJoJo

LOL! This post is just as hilarious as a Wrecky Replay as it was the first time around. Thanks for the memories and laughs. :D

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermillbrit

Just.... wow....

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPaul Brown

If you turn the heart around, the bottom looks like butt cheeks to me. So... the seventh cake is literally an ass-hat.

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterflosch

May not enjoy being taunted made me spew. Always read the fine print! Rofl

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Nothing says "I Love You" on Valentine's Day like lobster tails, a couple of extra fatty rib eye steaks, a strawberry-topped cake, and a pack of Hebrew National Beef Franks.

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTriciaL

Forget the butt cakes. I'm majorly disappointed that there isn't a boob cake. Come on, Pan Wow was MADE for boob cakes!

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterElizzy

Once you see the Graduation cap perched on a pair of butt cheeks, you just can't unsee it. . .

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAmy B

(Pan) WOW - now I wish I had taken a picture of the Christmas tree made from this very same heart-shaped Pan-Wow. Bonus - it was a cookie cake! Completely covered in green frosting with a brown "trunk" at the bottom (just a square of brown frosting actually). Oh well, I'm sure it will be there next year.

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCorgilvr58

Graduation hat on a butt
I totally read that in his voice.

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSam

Drat, I don't have a Pan Wow but I've got a heart-shaped springform pan for cheesecakes. And, I've been wanting to make a Santa cake in it for years now. Only mine would have a cute pom-pom on the end of his hat.
@Fluffy Cow love your Haiku. Any poem that includes the term "spermatozoa" is tops in my book!

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Note to Self: "Don't drink while reading this Blog..."

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterOldish Lady

Luv the bunny

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Well - Wilton DID show how one cake pan had many uses... But these folks need to learn to have a heart and use it for things that really can use the shape (rabbit, heart)...

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMelmac

Thank you John (thoJ) for this timely post. I have a heart shaped cake tin that I have only used for heart shaped cakes. What a waste that was! My eyes have been opened! It is my daughter's 9th birthday tomorrow, and now I have options: shall I make her a butt cake? Balloon spermatozoa? Maybe the Santa with bearded boobs? Decisions, decisions...

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

I love this!!! The comments are equally hilarious!!!

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

Those shaped cakes are purchased pre-baked from larger commercial bakeries for smaller retail bakeries to aid in holiday spikes. They come in frozen, ready to thaw and decorate. Sometimes bakery managers over order for a holiday and have to come up with creative ways to use up the excess or let them sit and get freezer burnt. Most retail/grocery store bakeries do NOT bake their cakes fresh anymore -- they all come in frozen. While most managers hated getting the shaped/holiday cakes in, we were often sent cases we didn't want by the corporate bigwigs that were idiots and got a great deal on them by buying up a truck full. You sometimes do what you have to do to get rid of the crap -- so don't necessarily wag your finger at the decorators or the bakeries themselves. They're just trying to make the best of a bad situation.

January 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterEx-Bakery Mgr

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