Cake Wrecks Tells The Truth
July 7, 2015 In honor of Tell The Truth Day, here are 6 cakes droppin' some sugary truth bombs:
;)
Ahhh, college.
(WHAT.)
;)
Old enough to know that's not how you spell "you're!" Haha!
OH SNAP.
(Do the kids say "oh snap" anymore?)
(No? Rats.)
(... I AM old.)
If ever an occasion called for cake...
;)
...I'm pretty sure this isn't it.
;)
Everyone can relax!
Turns out Mr. "Dealth" was just delivering the cake.
;)
The Thought Process of Someone Getting This Cake:
"Ohhh, those are supposed to be tools!"
[...]
"HEY!"
Not really sure what this was supposed to say, but to be safe, let's all keep our phones away from Laura:
;)
*bloop!*
[checking phone]
DANGIT LAURA NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT.
Thanks to Heidi C., Shelly W., Anneke D., Kevan H., Jacqui S., & Rachel C., who'd like us to remember that today is ALSO Forgiveness day. But don't push it, Laura.
*****
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Reader Comments (21)
After Mr. Dealth drops off the cake, Ms. Ever shows up. Then what...?
…Soooo… first comes death, then ever…? "WHAT DOES IT MEAN?"
And, what's a "TOOi"? Isn't that normal?
Cake or Death?!!
I love Eddie Izzard.
1) Not sure if that should be an insult or a relief. Guess it depends on the guy.
2) Steph's old what? Cat, favorite outfit, janky car?
3) Not after I eat this cake! OMNOMNOMNOM
4) So sweet of "Dealth" to bring balloons.
5) I'm confused. Who is "Cogratulations", exactly which tool is he, and why is there a bar of blue soap on his cake?
6) Don't ever look at Laura's phone. There is not enough brain bleach.
That tool cake HAD to be on purpose, how could you NOT see it?!
Apparently the Cogratulations you're a TOOl cake is a Fan of "Cow Tools."
"You survived obesity." BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Sending that to my weight loss group leader!
Maybe they need to add a verse to the song: "I'm too sexty for my phone, too sexty for my phone. . . . "
Do the kids know that one anymore? No? My age really is showing, then.
Is "sexty" the new sixty??
Oy Vey!
"Sexty" might be a deliberate portmanteau of "sexy" and "sixty." Try not to be grossed out.
[Editor's note- Portmanteau sounds sexy. I don't know what it means. I should probably look it up. -john (the portmanteau)]
No matter how many times I look at it I'm pretty sure the TOOlii on the left is flipping me off.
I'm so glad I remembered the first rule of CW and put the coffee down. @john (thoJ, tooA, the portmanteau) you totally blew my cover with the choking laughter! Now I'm off to see if @Classic Steve broke Google by throwing that word at us so early in the morning.
Is it just me, or do those TOOIs look a little penis-ishy?
I'm not quite sure what to laugh at first on the Tool cake! There's the obvious, of course. Then there's the inexplicable quotation marks, the misspelling, and -- I think this is my fave-- the "S" that was piped onto the border.
Maybe, juuuustttt maaaaayyyybee, Steph's cake just has a spacing problem. Maybe they mean it as "You R old!" No? Well, prob'ly not.
'Portmanteau word' is a term invented by Lewis Carroll to describe the words he coined in the Alice books. A portmanteau is a large suitcase or trunk, and the idea is that two words are crammed together into the same container so that the resulting word has the meanings of both. For example 'frumious' means 'fuming and furious'', and 'mimsy' means 'miserable and flimsy'.
[Editor's note- Thanks for the explanation, Tachybaptus. -john (`Twas brillig, and the sexty toves)]
I knew it was "Tell The Truth Day".
Okay--that is a lie. I've NEVER heard of it, and furthermore, I'm not at all sure that I like it.
Just like that portmanteau you guys are throwing around. It could also be a sort of suitcase-type thingy (I looked it up, okay?), and I wouldn't want to get smacked in the head with one of THOSE! Please--for the love of reason-think of the children! (They'd be the ones that I'm crouching behind like a scared little girl...!) =^~.~^=
My guess at the story for the first cake: It's likely a custom order, but it lacks any markings to specify what customer it is reserved for. Someone probably ordered it for a certain someone who turned out to actually be the father, then it was decided this person didn't deserve cake after all. When the store got the last minute cancellation they put it up for sale on the bakery store shelf, in hope that some other man celebrating a negative paternity result would come by. I guess the lack of discount stickers on the cake box suggest this happens a lot at this particular bakery.
Oh I am sure Laura loved her cake. After all it was pretty even if she is sexty lol. Would love to see the tool customers face once the cake was received. Oh the laughter that one brings.
At one point I lived in a rooming house across the hall from someone named "Atool... " and believe you me, he definitely was one.
According to my 12 year old "Aww snap" is back lol
Cake #5 has me REALLY wanting to re-watch Dr. Horrible.
"...these aren't the hammer...the hammer's my penis.". - Captain Hammer
I also think Laura liked her cake. She turned sixty, but everyone still thinks she is sexy, so it elides nicely into sexty. Phones have nothing to do with it. Portmanteau is right.
The “CONGRATULATIONS! YOU’RE A TOOl||” cake can be crossposted to lowercase l.