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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jun052015

Friday Favs 6/5/15

Andy wanted to keep it simple, so he asked for just 3 letters on his cake: HBD.

(I guess for SOME reason he was afraid of giving the baker anything more complicated.)

When the baker seemed confused, Andy helpfully explained that HBD was just an acronym for "Happy Birthday."

He got this:

Admit it: you're just impressed it's spelled right.

 

After all, there are times when a spelling flub is especially embarrassing - like at a faculty member's retirement party.

Psst. Baker.
You misspelled "Look at my bleeding poop flowers."

***

 

The intelligent mind looks at the world and demands answers:
Why are we here?
What is our purpose?
Is that Cookie Monster wearing a bikini?

0.o

***

 

As Jessica asked when she sent this in: Think it's still fresh?

***

 

You know, I bet if you asked a grocery store baker to make a neon cat face with an eggplant/platypus hybrid on it blowing bubbles into an oozing treasure chest, they'd say no.

AND YET:

Right there in the display case!

 

Thanks to Andy H., Diane A., Uffda, Jessica B., & Lee for catching Agent P out on assignment.

*****

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Reader Comments (47)

Missed opportunity baker of cake #2... 'Crapulations!' would go so much better with the bleeding poo.

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKabs

The platypus has tail feathers! so it is an eggplant/platypus/peacock mash-up :P

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJOY

Looks like diabetes finally caught up with Cookie Monster.

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Cookie Monster in a bikini?!?

😳😱😵

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

Reality is weirder than fiction

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

OMFG. Bleeding poop flowers - and I'm done with the day!
Please pass the brain bleach!

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGIngerSnap

So glad you explained cake #2. I thought it was bleeding chicken feet.

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTerri

My take on the last one: I agree with the eggplant/platypus/peacock hybrid, but it looks like the yellow flower is holding out a dirty tissue and he's sneezing and aim his snot towards it. Yuck.

Maybe Cookie Monster is exploring his/her fluid sexuality? Caitlyn Cookie Monster, perhaps? Nuthin' wrong with that.

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

My first thought on the Cookie Monster cake was that maybe it was supposed to be a mashup of Sesame Street and the Lion King. As in, what if Cookie Monster and Sunffleupagus were the creatures Simba met in the desert instead of Timon and Puumba? Then Cookie Monster would have been the one forced to dress in drag to distract the hyenas. And he decided to forego the grass skirt, because, well, check out that figure. Totally rocking it.

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I always suspected the Cookie Monster was hiding something but never thought it was that...

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

That first one... how, no HOW, can anyone be that DENSE???

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAisha

Hummingbird on the last one? Doesn't explain the used tissue, though.

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterD

On the first cake, I am impressed that they managed to insert air quotes into this mess.

Second cake: "Crapulations" would have been better and more appropriate.

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

It looks like cookie monster is pretty obviously still male in spite of rocking that muffin top (on a cupcake cake no less) I am concerned about his arms though, and the leaves, and that yellow thing coming out of his side, and come to think of it what else was in that display pan, seriously we're only seeing 30% of the whole space under there tops. What was so horrible that it couldn't be seen next to that?!?

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBlackChocobo

Cake #2 looks like it has the toes of a poison dart frog

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

Andy's the wreck on this one, as far as I'm concerned. "Birthday" is one word."HB" would've been okay. Not really "hats and horns" festive, but that Andy's a peculiar sort...Yup. Been that way for...oh, I'd say the better part of the afternoon.
=^-.-^=

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

"bleeding poop flowers."

Now I know I've had enough internet for one day . . . .

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJohanna

XD Friday Favs is my favorite part of this blog!

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPinkie Pie

*snerk* My first thought on the "bleeding poop flowers" was flaming poo sticks, actually.

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKittish

Cookie Monster says "call me Caitlyn"!

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJose Parrot

So here's a thought: why don't bakeries have one spot on the order form for the customer to write the text exactly as they want it to appear on the cake and a separate spot for instructions to the baker? Oh wait, that would ruin all the fun of this site except for the truly awful pictures.

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJan

And here I saw a hybrid Grasshopper extending it's ovipositor to drop eggs into a murky treasure chest. That screams Happy Birthday to me.

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKyubi

The first one...must be intentional.
Bakers don't get confused when an order for "HBD" is placed; they accept such simple requests implicitly....then write the letters backwards, or illegibly.
No, the baker who did that is a genius of irritation; upon receiving the simple request, he feigned confusion to elicit more detailed information from the customer, which he then used to create a brain-imploding "misinterpretation" of the inscription.
All the while making the "mistake" seem unintentional....now that's an act of pure Cleese-ian genius, right there.
(see John Cleese's "How To Irritate People" for more on the art of irritation)

#3 There's no rational explanation for putting that on a cake & offering it to the general population. I can only hope that it is supposed to be a bikini, because somehow the only thing more disturbing than Cookie Monster in a pink bikini, is Cookie Monster in pink lingerie. Bakeries need to enact strict rules against decorators illustrating their private fetishes on public cakes.

#4 A stale cookie, or a fresh typo?
At my local grocery, there's a CCC in the sale case that has been there for at least 6 weeks. Yes, it's real cake & it's actually for sale; it's not a foam demonstration-cake.
So, a 10-year-old cookie? Sure. I completely believe that a store would put an '05 cookie out for sale if they found one sitting around in a back room. They would count on the customer to assume it's a '15 cookie with a typo and buy it anyway.

#5 One of the best cases against legalizing marijuana that I've seen in a while. 'nuff said.

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

Apparently Cookie Monster is a fan of Bruce Jenner.

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAmie

Is that a rogue apostrophe on the 10 year old cake? Congrat's? Anyone? Not to be nit picky...

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterandalex

I would like to point out that the Class of '05 cookie IS on sale, at almost 40% off. What do you people want from these bakeries? Everyone has to make a living, and throwing away good looking pastry because it is 10 years old ain't gonna pay the bills.

Wishing all a cratulous day.

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

What is that last cake really supposed to be? Because, usually, I can kind of figure out what they were shooting for (not always, but my brain is a little twisted). I think the pink was maybe a castle... but the platypus is really throwing me off!!

And Cookie Monster... I just... I can't.

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Hey! My cake made it onto Friday Favs! (I submitted the last one). This is the best day of my life! Except the credit only went to the second half of my name.... Nope, don't even care, I'm just TOO EXCITED. :D

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

Cookie Monster's noodle-y blue arms are almost as disturbing as the bikini...

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

Today's Cake Wrecks Comments are brought to you by the letters CCC!

Join me in an educational song...

----
The words in CupCake Cake start with CCC
Let's think of some other wreaks
That start with C...
Oh, who cares about the other things?

C-C-C is for Cookie, that's quite enough for me
C-C-C is for Cookie, that's some pink bikini,
C-C-C is for Cookie, let's all say ptooee!
Oh, Cookie Monster's on a CCC.

Hey, do you know what?
"Class of '05" starts with C,
And so does "Cat Face".
"Cratulations" starts with C, too, but they can't spell that.
Oh, well, that's still not as good as as a Cupcake Cake!

C-C-C is for Cookie, that's quite enough for me
C-C-C is for Cookie, that's some pink bikini,
C-C-C is for Cookie, let's all say ptooee!
Oh, Cookie Monster's on a CCC.
--------

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

It's Cookie Monster's stag party cake! Before his wedding to Cookie Monstress!

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterVioletRose

Is it possible that last cake is supposed to be a kiwi bird? Shooting ping pong balls out of it's snout like that thing in Mario 2.

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

"Hi-Ho, this is Kermit the Frog of Sesame Street News, on the scene with Cookie Monster, who has just made an announcement, the likes of which this reporter has never heard before, involving a...closet?"

(Anybody else remember those segments; I miss them.)

June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

SuBee!! You are killing me!! I always enjoy your comments, but today was truly gold star material. I thought his legs looked amputated as well, but didn't even think diabetes until I read your post and almost had an aneurysm from laughing!

June 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMegara

Oh man now all I can see when I see Cookie Monster is this cake lol. Poor guy. The laughter will never stop.

June 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Cookie Monster does seem to be enjoying his new outfit. I'm not sure what that says about him (or me).

June 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Seabird wins!!! Have a craptastic weekend, "everyone"!

June 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterValarie

It's a shame about the "Acronym" bit on the first cake, because I kind of like the script of the "Happy Birthday" itself. I agree, though, HBD might be an acronym for "Happy Birthday, David" or "Happy Birthday, Dena," but birthday itself is one word, so HB would be accurate just for "Happy Birthday." Anyway.

I second or third or fourth the notion that the second cake, indeed, was a simple error for Crapulations, since THAT wreckorator has a commitment to honesty. Otherwise, perhaps, the wreckorator could have centered what he/she thought was the middle and worked toward the ends until disaster struck.

What IS that behind Cookie Monster? I'll be honest. I don't THINK the wreckerator intended to make a plastic-headed, bikini clad Cookie Monster, holding a star-shaped magic wand, with a princess plaque, laying on a bed of Ramen Noodle Salad... though that is surely the result. Cookie and all his accoutrements actually look like an afterthought or later addition to a standard floral cake. I'm wondering if there might not be a prankster somewhere, a sort of Obvious Plant of the cake world, discreetly carrying in flotsam and icing to befoul the otherwise tolerable fare just waiting to be gobbled up as some forgetful person's last-minute contribution to an event. That MUST be it. I, too, would have liked to have seen the whole cake for the sake of science.

Regarding the '05 cake, I'm sure some well-intended wreckorator just did a typo (ice-o?), and either didn't catch it or thought, "Eh, maybe someone will buy it for a 10 year reunion." Also... I've CLEARLY been reading Cake Wrecks for too long since all I see are stylized sperm squiggles and ova surrounding that one. So, for that, I thank, Jen and John (husband of Jen). :)

As far as that last psychedelic abomination goes, I think it's a kiwi bird... some flowers... and, um?? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?

June 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterK Michelle

Love the comments --- all of them, but especially the "bleeding poop flowers" and the ones about the pink cat-face cake (did anybody notice that it is one of the dreaded CCCs?). I was just at a party tonight and told someone about the site, and they scrolled through and read the commentary preceding the cat-face cake aloud -- Jen, it looks like you have two more fans for sure!

Thanks much for the laughs (and tears).

June 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

Ok, to be honest, I don't even know what that last one is supposed to BE. What could they possibly have been thinking?

June 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDavid

How has nobody pointed out that HBD is not an acronym? An acronym is an actual word, like scuba, made from the first letters of each of the words making it up (self-contained underwater breathing apparatus). HBD is just three letters, so abbreviation would be a better description.

June 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

"a neon cat face with an eggplant/platypus hybrid on it blowing bubbles into an oozing treasure chest"
Perfect end to my day, laughed and laughed ;-)

June 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTMV

Is the platypus a unicorn? Like they were trying to copy something they once saw on a poster- a unicorn with its head towards its chest and the horn pointed down? But then they felt like the mane and entire horse muzzle were unimportant details. On a unicorn.

June 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterElliot

Perhaps #4 is for a 10 year reunion?

June 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

Good OLD bi-lo!! Class of '05!!

June 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSyrie

Too funny! That poop flower cake could have been worse: looks as if it was supposed to be "CRA_-elations".
Your posts keep me laughing! Yes, "more, more, more!"

May 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRuth

Cookie monster came out of the jar.
The COOKIE jar.

December 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJenny and Luna

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